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Jairzinho (m)
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This is my situation:
My wife is heavily pregnant; apart from the fact that she's hardly recognisable from the beautiful figure 8 I married(not her fault of course !)the mere mention of lovemaking gets her very angry talk less of the act itself.
I have not done it in almost 5 months,I'm nearly losing my mind,please advise me what should i do? I have this my colleague(engaged to a guy in the US) who has been giving me the green lights all these months , should I just do it to keep my sanity and possibly my marriage?
I don't want to hypocrisy please, & no unworkable ideas from unmarried virgins please, i need some empathy here. So for married peeps and those with some experience,what should I do?
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olanajim (m)
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 Akarabata!! ?? ! |
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Pain
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Go Stick That D=ck in the Refrigerator. Now that should calm it down.  |
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TolaR (f)
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You plan on having affair everytime your wife is pregnant? Why don't you try to talk to her about your feelings and needs. And try to find out how she is feeling. Pregnancy is different for every woman. She may not be having a goodtime of it. If you go ahead and have this affair, you'll regret it and if your wife ever finds out, her trust level in you will be diminished. I hope you did not marry her for the sex alone.
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noel76 (m)
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@pain when will you ever grow up? did you understand the poster's post at all? Lets always try to respect ourselve by posting responsively and by insultive comment ok.
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olanajim (m)
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The poster indeed have a case. But, the wife condition must also be recognized. Maybe women in the house should answer the following questions so the we guys can learn to appreciate their condition during pregnancy.
1. Do women have sexual urge while at advance stage of pregnancy?
2. Do women experience pain at any stage of their pregnancy?
If all the above answer yes. Then the poster should put himself in that state and interpret the real meaning of empathy. I wish some men are given the role of child bearing! I wish they are made to stand beside their wives during labour.
@poster, put yourself in place of your wife. Can you stand your wife cheating on you just because you have a problem that prevents you from making love to her for few months?
Please be honest in your answer. Somehow I beleive you would find the answer to your question in YOU.
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cool4ny (m)
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A little bit of flirting won't hurt your relationship if you do it with str8 mind. Go for the girl with the green light and have some fun. I said fun and nothing too serious. In that way you are helping your wife and you too. You won't argue with your wife and you get what you want, win win situation my brother.  |
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Besteric (m)
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My guy,, If you are strong enough to engage in Extramarital affairs,, then,, go on. There are things everybody does but noone talk about it, Maybe the writer even does that. lol
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illusion2
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I'll allign myself with the only female poster so far,maybe you should try to talk to your wife a bit more to understand your condition.
Adultery won't solve the problem as you'll always have a reason to commit,today its pregnncy , tomoroow it may be something else.
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Gamine (f)
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MADNESS!!! but wifey , how now~~!!!  |
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yewa-man (m)
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guess the next time she is expecting you will look for the next available girl in your hood,
remember your vow you made on your wedding day oga.
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yewa-man (m)
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guess the next time she is expecting you will look for the next available girl in your hood,
remember the vow you made on your wedding day oga.
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twinstaiye (m)
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This is a situation you don't discuss or seek advice on a public platform. Ask a couple of friends or close associates who had gone through the same situation in the past. Naija are the worst pretenders in the world, you will be surprise that most hubby probably do what you are asking for, but will never give such an advice on a public platform like this. Nobody ever seek advice for something you already know is bad. Half word is enough for the wise.
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Bossman (m)
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Wow! I can't believe you are actually asking this question. What nonsense! You are thinking about having an affair because the wife is pregnant. I bet you are the type that believes in having more than one wife. It's unbelievable how some folks only think about themselves and their needs and nothing else!
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crazykid (m)
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My dear Jairzinho
Cheating on your poor wife due to her pregnancy isn’t the best way to solve this kind of problem. You might thing you’re doing yourself a little favour but believe me, your tresspersing on prelilous grounds.
If your wife’s countenance towards you has changed, then it’s left for you as a responsible husband to sit her down and discuss whatever the problem is; don you think that by cheating you would solve your problem?
Cheting would compound your problems if you don’t know be wise and go back to your wife!!!
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otele (m)
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This is my situation:
My wife is heavily pregnant; apart from the fact that she's hardly recognisable from the beautiful figure 8 I married(not her fault of course !)the mere mention of lovemaking gets her very angry talk less of the act itself.
I have not done it in almost 5 months,I'm nearly losing my mind,please advise me what should i do? I have this my colleague(engaged to a guy in the US) who has been giving me the green lights all these months , should I just do it to keep my sanity and possibly my marriage?
I don't want to hypocrisy please, & no unworkable ideas from unmarried virgins please, i need some empathy here. So for married peeps and those with some experience,what should I do?
all right my friend, i'll give you the kind of advice you want to hear. . . . .  . . . . . . go sleep with the lady that is giving you green light, keep it secret, your wife wont know, you regain your mentality, your wife has her peace,everybody is happy and u live happily ever after . . . . . . how does that sound? |
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hendre (m)
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Man Jaz, what you are considering is not an option at all. Lets us assume that your marital vows is the canvass on which you want to paint this 'new moves' pictures? How do you think that artwork will look in an art exhibition? Well, your reasonable guess is as good as mine.
Put on your thinking cap and then do the right thing. I am a guy like you but will never support you do such thing against a wife you made a promise to be faithful to.
Finally, you can't take fire onto your bosom and not be fried burnt. Read the book of Proverbs 6 vs 30 - 35 for more light and I hope that will give you strength.
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sweetonyx (m)
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Dear Poster, before i giv my opinions which may just be what u need to savage your predicament. I'd like u to giv us the foll. details: 1- Is this da first time your wife"s gettin pregnant for you? 2- Have u been there for her since she became pregnant? i.e do u try to share the house chores wit her?,little things like don't worry honey I'll get it, cud go a long way in showing that your concerned. 3 - Do u keep late nites,If Yes, dou bother to apologise to your wife? 4- don't u think the reason shes not down with making love to u cud be traced to insecurity?she probably feels that u don't care afterall,don't u feel that is the case? 5- Did u talk to her gynaecologist bout it? because that is the first person that should knw bout this before comin to the forum, Whatever your answers are,my advise is that u look inwards before takin a step u'd probably regret, wish u the best.
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sweetonyx (m)
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Otele,or what do u feel?
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subice (m)
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@poster: Don't do it, it WILL backfire!
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surugede
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Question: can Adultry help my marriage
Answer: yes if u want it to head for the rocks
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rexfx2
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all right my friend, i'll give you the kind of advice you want to hear. . . . . . . . . . . go sleep with the lady that is giving you green light, keep it secret, your wife wont know, you regain your mentality, your wife has her peace,everybody is happy and u live happily ever after . . . . . . how does that sound? crazy and disastrous!!! |
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klarry79
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i think you need to show a lot of care and restraint. some women are averse to sex during pregnancy.
you need to hold out the more. you have lasted 5 months, hold on for the remaining 4 months and set you mind on
the joy this woman you 'despise' will deliver to you soon. you should be focused on preparing for the big arrival.
for all i know, i think the devil is trying to take advantage of your need for sexual satisfaction to wreck a bigger havoc
in your marriage.
i have been in your situation before and all it took was talking to wifey. so go talk to your girl and reach a compromise.
At least you both 'enjoyed it before so there should still be some affection left in you both.
let the greenlight lady go
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fakande (m)
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Bros let me lay it straight on u: adultery has never helped any marriage! It just brings about momentary pleasure, followed by a lifetime of pain and headache. But den again, that has never stopped anybody who wants to go into it. By all means, try it! Just don't say that no one told you there could be dire consequences.
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finekid (m)
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Ignore all these good advises against cheating on your wife at your own peril!
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hbrednic
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to avoid adultery,it is better you marry more wives.
4 atleast will be okay.
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Prikie (f)
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I'm married and female and don't want to be judgemental. The truth is, being married is not much different from being in a ralationship. We have the same trials as single people and it is our ability to draw thw line that counts.
My advice to you, explain to your wife your situation. Tell her the effects of her refusal and be honest to tell her that you're human and truly love her but she's pushing you to do the unthinkable. Last I checked, pregnant women are at their horniest during pregnancy. Pregnancy does not stop you from enjoying that special moment with the one you love and doctors would always advice and encourage sex during pregnancy. This helps in widening the woman's cervix in preparation for delivery.
I can tell you love your wife. What I'll expect of my husband is honesty about his feelings. You try explaining to her, im sure afterwards she'll understand your situation.
Also, if you choose to have an extramarital affair, my advice is, make sure it is not some desperate chic looking to pin any man down- married or unmarried because I bet you you will live to regret it. Avoid affairs with people you stand a chance of running into regularly, the begining of the affair will be the begining of disaster. Rather go for someone who is mature and whom your chances of seeing or running into them is very slim probably because they are very busy with work or have serious relationships of their own. But remember, before you do anything, talk to your wife first. She could actually give you some if she truly understands.
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Revive (f)
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@ poster, u want to know who and who are married on nairaland. So no advice will be taken from unmarried 'virgin' priests, pastors reverends and bishops. And also no advice will be taken from 'married virgins'.
crazy and disastrous!!!
He is not crazy, have a look at the bolded statements on red. By making such statements, it suggests the poster has already defined the type of advice he wants to hear. From poster
, I don't want to hypocrisy please, & no unworkable ideas from unmarried virgins please, i need some empathy here. So for married peeps and those with some experience,what should I do? From oteleall right my friend, i'll give you the kind of advice you want to hear. . . . . . . . . . . go sleep with the lady that is giving you green light, keep it secret, your wife wont know, you regain your mentality, your wife has her peace,everybody is happy and u live happily ever after . . . . . . how does that sound? |
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Revive (f)
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from Olanajim, The poster indeed have a case. But, the wife condition must also be recognized. Maybe women in the house should answer the following questions so the we guys can learn to appreciate their condition during pregnancy. 1. Do women have sexual urge while at advance stage of pregnancy? 2. Do women experience pain at any stage of their pregnancy? If all the above answer yes. Then the poster should put himself in that state and interpret the real meaning of empathy. I wish some men are given the role of child bearing! I wish they are made to stand beside their wives during labour. @poster, put yourself in place of your wife. Can you stand your wife cheating on you just because you have a problem that prevents you from making love to her for few months? Please be honest in your answer. Somehow I beleive you would find the answer to your question in YOU. Well spoken, bless ya! |
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Chiori (m)
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@Poster, there is no excuse for anyone to commit adultery. As mature people, your wife and you should be able to talk about this problem, instead of you just shutting up and pretending "It's okay." And please, disregard anyone advising you to "Go ahead and have a harmless affair, nothing serious." Girls are out to get any man, no matter the trouble it's going to cost someone.
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Revive (f)
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Before u got married to your wife, you would have loved it if some body else use some green light story to sleep with your fiancee? |
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