Amateur

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns
to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes
that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye
patch.

The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the
peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea,
and I was swept overboard into a school of
sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a
shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well, ", replied the pirate, "We were boarding
an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors
with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you
get the eyepatch"?

"A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied
the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the
sailor asked incredulously.

"Well, ", said the pirate, ", it was my first
day with the hook."