|
misslady (f)
|
When I was in Naija last, there was a constant statement said to me: "All men cheat".
My cousins told me,
My friends told me,
The mother of the guy who wanted to be in a relationship with me,
The son of the mother mentioned above,
So as a woman married to a man in Nigeria, is she to accept and expect her husband to cheat?
If so, how does she deal with it?
Is the answer the same for a Nigerian man not living in Naija?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Not all Nigerian men cheat. I know for a fact hat my Dad doesn't. We almost always know exactly where he is at all times and can get to him there.
Many Nigerian men do cheat. My Dad for example comes home straight after work [no 17:59] and his colleagues sometimes tease him that he isn't man enough. He however feels it is below his dignity to sneak in and out in frnt of his wife [my mom] just for flings. That's why I respect him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
2cantango (f)
|
I've been told the same thing so many times, and honestly I'm really tired of hearing it.
I think that to say "All men cheat" and all the other stuff you hear about men and cheating is just weak. All men don't have to cheat. When someone cheats it's because they have chosen to, it's not a genetic thing, it's not a gender specific thing. I have heard some of the most pathetic stories from men who try to explain their reasons for cheating, it's just bull dung. Men act like their snake is uncontrollable with a mind of it's own. Really, do men think it's cool to be slaves to their own snake. It's just stupid talk.
Real men honour their commitments to their partner/wife.
Real men know what dignity and respect is. Simple.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Thanks 2c.
I'm one of them -- very handsome etc. Check out my profile [I recently changed it]!
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
I like to be realistic all the time because I'm a guy. Men cheat when women fail in their responsibilities, when a man cheats, he does so with a fellow woman who probably has the time his wife doesnt have.  |
|
|
|
|
|
2cantango (f)
|
I like to be realistic all the time because I'm a guy. Men cheat when women fail in their responsibilities, when a man cheats, he does so with a fellow woman who probably has the time his wife doesnt have. Yet another of the pathetic stories men spit out when it comes to reasons why their snake can't stay in their pants. If you have such a big issue with your wife's "lack of time" or her inability to take care of her "responsibilities", tell her! The minute you place your snake in another hole, you have failed at fulfilling your "responsibilities" Thanks 2c.
I'm one of them -- very handsome etc. Check out my profile [I recently changed it]!
You're just too gorgeous to be true   |
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Most men would not take the time to talk to their wives about their deep feelings. They prefer to spill their guts out to their secretaries and colleagues -- one of the reasons many affairs start in the work place.
Your woman doesn't provide what you want -- have you asked her? If it's something kinky like spanking and whips I won't blame her for not "providing" it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
kenshin (m)
|
Most men would not take the time to talk to their wives about their deep feelings. They prefer to spill their guts out to their secretaries and colleagues -- one of the reasons many affairs start in the work place.
Your woman doesn't provide what you want -- have you asked her? If it's something kinky like spanking and whips I won't blame her for not "providing" it.
How would they be able to to talk to their wives when they probably married for all the wrong reasons. am always amused when people talk about marriage and all that is on their mind is sex. they never bother to understand each other very well. |
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
After a few years of marriage, your wife simply gets tired of your troubles (because they say men are like boys) very troublesome, once this happens, start expecting the bomb because when ur husband doesnt recieve the usual attention from u, his own wife, he looks for the nearest source - secretary and others, including pepper soup seller, |
|
|
|
|
|
Blue2 (m)
|
Nigerian women are not supposed to accept the fact (at least not before it happens!) that their spouse would cheat on them. I am close to my mum and i have seen first hand the agonies her friends go through just because their husbands cheat and sometimes bring another woman in. inspite of the trend there are still good nigerian men who stick with their wives. My father for one has stuck with my mum for 34 years now! he hasn't for one day cheated (at least not to our knowledge), i think it's possible for Nigerian men to stick with their wives and for their wives to expect them to do so.
i used to think it was because of economic circumstance that women stuck it out with cheating husbands, but after seeing an aunt of mine stick through an abusive and cheating husband inspite of her economic status, it got me really wondering, why do women stay take all that garbage. Are they scared of divorce or seperation? no offence meant but when i see what women in our society are going through, i am sure gld i ain't one, i truly salute their resilence and courage "under fire".
i don't have a sista but if i had one I'd definately tell her to opt out of a marriage that has an incurable cheating husband!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Good, Blue2 -- your family's just like mine.
I've seen some families in which the man is a chronic cheat and the wife knows -- in fact everyone knows. The day the woman brings a man in, the man explodes -- maybe his eyes aren't clear enough or he's too stubborn to see that he's worse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
Marriage is like a market place Some people buy wisely, others spend money, |
|
|
|
|
|
curiousNja (f)
|
Toyour question: I think it is Nigerian women all over having to expect cheating men, period. Not just in Nigeria. So many Nigeriam men cheat. It's disgusting.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
No credit for those who don't?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rhodalyn (f)
|
what happened to 'in sickness n in health''  @whitelexi |
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Those words don't mean anything in most Nigerian marriages. When the wife is sick, it means the man has the freedom to go shagging.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
what happened to 'in sickness n in health'' @whitelexi The happy family will live in sickness and in health, but then again, not all families are happy |
|
|
|
|
|
Rhodalyn (f)
|
i believe yours in not?  |
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
I'm from a wonderful family and God-willing, will end up in a lovely family too
|
|
|
|
|
|
schibaba (m)
|
Well not all men in Nigeria cheat. What i believe is Men were created with the tendency of being promiscuous, it takes a real man to with stand the possibility of not cheating.
The ladies also don't make it easy for men especially married men. What i have come to find out is that younger ladies would rather have something to do with a man that is married than one that is not, because they think it is easier for them to let go of him when they are tired, and that he can better foot there bills.
I think what women should understand about men is the fact that if a man cheats on his wife it doesn't mean he doesn't love her. And a man is not a lesser man because he cheats or doesn't cheat.
Its just something that most of them have to get hold of, and i think the best way to handle it is for both husband and wife to talk it over in peace instead of causing wahala, because that will send him out more to his other chicks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
which is usually the case because the naija woman will not take it easy oh
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Would you take it easy if your wife told you she had a tendency to like other men and sleep with them? Put yourself in her shoes!
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
I wouldnt make the mistake of getting close to a woman who has hot pants! Experience has taught me how to fish them out and avoid them |
|
|
|
|
|
2cantango (f)
|
@whitelexi:
so you don't want a woman who will cheat, but it's acceptable if you cheat?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Ask him please. You expect a "good" girl while you go frollicking. I hope you marry a karate champion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
@whitelexi:
so you don't want a woman who will cheat, but it's acceptable if you cheat?
I've never cheated in my life and i don't subscribe to it, Ask him please. You expect a "good" girl while you go frollicking. I hope you marry a karate champion.
If i marry a karate queen, she will end up running away because i hold a 3rd brown belt in shotokan karate |
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
A real champion. Linus Torvalds [the founder of Linux] is married to a seven-time Swedish karate champion [Tove Torvalds]. I imagine there'll be no quarrels in that house.
|
|
|
|
|
|
whitelexi (m)
|
A lot of people misunderstand me here, i just like being realistic and most of my posts will prove that, I don't say things here because it sounds nice or is the nice thing to say, i say things because thats what i've seen, because thats the reality of the day, because thats how bad the situation is, We're supposed to find solutions to problems and not to claim innocentie or anything. u don't approach a problem with soft hands and at the same time u have to be careful when killing a mosquito that has perched on your scrotum! |
|
|
|
|
|
hot-angel (f)
|
Not all men cheat, but majority do. Just pray ur man is part of the few who don't cheat.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
I don't say things here because it sounds nice . . . Are you trying to say we're saying things because they sound nice? I don't believe in cheating although I've never been in a relationship. It's just not me -- and the fact that something is the norm doesn't make it right. |
|
|
|
|
|
2cantango (f)
|
the fact that something is the norm doesn't make it right.
Amen to that!! |
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
