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vindoheney (m)
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Read Slowly.
I am a christain and a believer, that believes u should not sleep with your fiancee or girlfriend before marriage.
I believe that the scripture is very rel and living word of God.
I obey it but at a point i backslided and i met a girl ,we fell in love and we started having sex.
but one day i went to church and i repented of my backsliding and i came back to God fully.
Meaning , i had to stop sleeping or having sex with my girl who i really want to marry.
The issue is now that she does not want the change and she is fighting the change by seducing me any opportunity she has and then ofcourse, i am still inlove, i will have sex with her.
But i don't want it, and yet i can't stop it. Sometimes, i want to sleep with her but i have to remind myself of who i am and some other times i can stop myself even though i knew what its about coming.
Finally, i am also afrid that this change will take her away from me because she agreed to the new life and she too of course is a bornagain. But she does not want us to stop. I sene that once i am able to put my foot down and really be very serious with God , i will loose her.
What do i do? because i don't want t o loose my relationship with God but i also don't want t loose my Girl. Can i eat my cake and still have it?
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Siena
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I think you're in one hell of a dilemna.  The best advice I can give here, is do what you fell's right, by both of you. If you feel it's against all you believe in, then by all means, be firm with your girlfriend. But, if you feel it's something you both want, then again, you'll have to make a decision. If you feel she's pressing you to go against your belief, and you feel strongly enough, then I'd say it's probably best if you move on, and find yourself a girl that will share your faith 100%. Good luck! |
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Nautillus (m)
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If you want the truth, Here it is,
1. You and your girl MIGHT never be able to have a sexless relationship because the sex thing has eaten deep in both your souls.
2. Although, the bible say"u Shouls come to the ord the way you are" Meaning its not expected of you to CHANGE your attitudes immediately your get born again but its a gradual process with the help of the Lord. so don't judge yourselfor your girl so muchwhen eva you guys do it again.
3. Have it at the back of you mind that the expected CHANGE might never come so you might have to part way because relegion is a personal thing. she's your galfriend but you can never know how serious she's willing to take Christ, so you might have to take a stand soon.
Your sweet SIN or Christ??
The ball is all yours
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vindoheney (m)
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@siena,
thank u very much for ur advice but,
do u know its so difficult to find the right person that ur hearts beat as one.
She is like the perfect person except that no one is perfect, but to me she is and it will be very difficult to say NO to someone that truly loves u and is ready to do anything to see u happy except u know what.
Although, she agrees that we need to stop but still goes on to seduce me.
I wish there is another way to make us stop without breaking up. i wish she could actually agree fully without seducing me. i wish alot of things but i hope i will get the right answer here.
Thanx
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jkpretty (f)
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Hey vindo,
U can't eat ur cake & have it. U only have this options:
1. Cling to God, ur believe & forget about the relationship
2. Stay in the relationship, & continue with ur sin proper
3. Make her understand ur believe & ur decision to stand firm by every word of it & make her inclined.
I know u'll probably want to pick the 3rd one, but that's the toughest.
Ask ur pastor? he'll definately pick no1.
Point: Do what ur heart pleases.
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iz2much (m)
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Follow Ur Heart or Pick Up ur cross
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vindoheney (m)
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@jkpretty,
who u said my pastor will choose option 1, and i will choose option 3, then who will choose option 2?
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jkpretty (f)
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@jkpretty,
who u said my pastor will choose option 1, and i will choose option 3, then who will choose option 2?
The devil, or the devil in u, lol |
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Macgreat (m)
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say no to sex and send her to me  |
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biolabee (m)
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@vindo
This is a cross you need to bear and the spirit of God would be able to help just trust
in respect of your girl, cut her off from you as you two can never be free of each other until a space of time (maybe 6mths - 1 yr)
This will be painful to both of you but it is necessary so each of you can find his/her feet
A pastor of mine had the same experience, they met while they were both unsaved
He bacame saved and broke up with her
Eventually she got saved and then they met on a whole new tip
Now they have 5 loely children and he is a pastor and she a deaconess
SO BE STRONG MAN
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blueband (m)
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My friend,
I think you should sit her down and explain things to her.If she refuses to listen then I think you should both part ways.
Religion is a fundamental issue and if both of you cannot agree on it,then I don't see your marriage working
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mellow (m)
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Let me keep her for you untill you are ready to say yes. I want to be my
brother's keeper.
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Cecegrace (f)
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Hey bros, It is just like a habit. come to think of it, people that are used to boozing and smoking cigars, always find it hard to stop. It is just like sex addict. Seriously speaking you need to ster clear of sex and don't give her chance to seduce you. I can say that your spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. If you can't deal without sex, then marry her. That will solve all the problems. Remember you can't get another person that has the same traits with her Good luck nothing goes for nothing |
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IykeD (m)
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@poster, i think the best thing to do is to marry her, that is if you are ready so that you can do ur thing.
Secondly, i sense that you guys live together, if, so i suggest you stop living together for now until you get married.
@mello, u be bad guy
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playmate (f)
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@poster
u're a christian rite,den u shuld no that girl is d kind God warned men bout in d bible.its up 2 you to choose between ur belief nd her.
blueband is rite u no if u marry her bro,ders bound 2 b problems considering d fact that she wnts you to break ur vow wit God nd sleep wit her now u never no what she'll ask you to give up afta u marry her,if she cnt undastand u den u shuld no what 2 do,it wuld b really absurd 2 marry her jst bcs she's demandin 4 sex it'll only prove hw weak u re in ur faith infact jst take it 2 God in prayers cs this is ur tryin period nd 4 ur sake remember its against ur beliefs.gudluck anyway.
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earthrealm (m)
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dude,
christ said that if u hold father/mother/family, more dearly than me, that u aint worthy of him,
n also if ur eye will make u go 2 hell, that its beta u pluck it out[not literally!!! oh],
i know its going to be a tough decision, dude, i don't envy u,
but its still a decision that will determine wia u willl spend eternity, because LIFE IS JUST A STAGE WHERE WE GET A CHANCE 2 PREPARE 4 ETERNITY,
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SuperSweet (m)
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 [flash=200,200][/flash]Yeah why not make it snappy so that you guys can get married. i mean take her to the altar even tomorrow. It's food to hear u have already started having sex and still u guys want to get married. When u get married u can do it in the kitchen, toilet, sitting room, store, garage, car, room, lounge pouch, corrridoor, garden,pool, passage without hesitations, but always remember to lock the gates, to avoid mishappeninigs. BE COOL MAN 
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adeboo (f)
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Life is so hard - its so sos hard when u are stuck in a decision like this to make.
What i say is that if u sure she is the girl for you, then u gotta marry her.
Cause if u continue like this, it wount be good you will be dragging God's grace through the mud.
His grace is in abundance but that doesnt mean that sin should abound.
Trust me babes, i am talking to maslf too its real difficult thats for sure.
Its very easy to say leave her but its not as easy as it sounds - sweetie just pray and let God see that you are taking steps and he will help u.
There is no way u can do this by yourelf, for real.
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xpres
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marry her. you can't eat ur cake and have it.
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waterworks (f)
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of course u can eat ure cake an dhave it!
the word is marriage!!
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D-carding (m)
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Hello,
The answer is right there in your hand.
1. pray to God because such such decision is not easy.
2. Sit her down and explain to her that is easy to offend human than to offend God.If you offend human,people,even nairalander can help you plead but if you offend God, you will plead for you?
3. Besides,how ready are you for wedding?
4.If you really love her and you intend to marry her,don't run away from her.She might seek sex else where.Her soul need to be saved too.
5.don't allow her to come to your place and if she must come, let her come when your family or friends are around.Then, always plan outing with her with friends or family.
6.Go to her house often and make sure both of you are at open place and you must always discuss your plan for her and your dream in nearest future.
By so doing,she will get to it and before you know it the stakeholder(your family and her family)would be thinking of your UNION.
Believe me, this steps works.Am talking from experience.
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D-carding (m)
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Hi, In addition to my previous post, always pray with her Try to meet all affordable needs of her God Bless you. |
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cute_N_hot (f)
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A man saying no to sex? hmmmm  WEIRDO!!!!!!!!! |
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Reverend (m)
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I am sure that she is quite capable of making her own mind up. It is probably better to let her go and find a real man who can fufil her sexual needs. As for you, maybe you should become a monk and devote your life and body to God? Maybe you are not cut out to be with women? You can pray as much as you like, you will still be praying when your friend is pumping her in his bedroom Religion, women and sex never mix. If you choose the first one, then say goodbye the the second two  |
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cute_N_hot (f)
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nicely stated reverend
couldn't have said it better.
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playmate (f)
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I am sure that she is quite capable of making her own mind up. It is probably better to let her go and find a real man who can fufil her sexual needs. As for you, maybe you should become a monk and devote your life and body to God? Maybe you are not cut out to be with women? You can pray as much as you like, you will still be praying when your friend is pumping her in his bedroom Religion, women and sex never mix. If you choose the first one, then say goodbye the the second two that was d wrong thing 2 say.this guy is obviously a devoted christian nd he's confused,dnt make him backslide or feel bad bcs of what u said.u made it seem as if choosin his religion will mean loosin a great thing when actually its 4 his own good.u nd cute n hot shuld no its not all bout sex. |
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