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nwando
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an excerpt I stumbled upon .
Traditionally, a Yoruba woman had only one marriage ceremony, without rituals to mark remarriage after being widowed or divorced (Eades 1980, 5859). Her husband's death did not mark the end of her marriage, which would continue according to the levirate system with a junior member of his descent group. Now, the ease of divorce varies with the legal status of the marriage. While English-style ordinance marriages can be dissolved only in the High Court, marriages contracted under customary law, which permits polygyny, easily can be dissolved in the local courts. Yoruba men rarely sue for divorce, and only on grounds of adultery. More commonly, wives leave husbands who have stopped supporting them, move in with a lover or with their parents, and start divorce proceedings from there. The main issue in these proceedings is repayment to the husband of marriage presentations and trading capital. Fathers traditionally have the right to keep the children, but do not usually do so.
It is easy for a woman to remarry, in part because it costs less to marry a divorcee than a first-time bride. In a study by the Okedijis (Okediji and Okediji 1966) in Ibadan, cited by Eades (1980, 58), the most common reasons given by women for divorce were non-support by the husband (71 per cent), trouble with co-wives (32 per cent), trouble with in-laws (20 per cent), and lack of children (20 per cent).
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nwando
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Yoruba women are both autonomous and subordinate to men. Autonomy arises through a fairly rigid sexual division of labour, which excludes women from most agricultural work, and means that traditional women work independently of their husbands and not jointly or cooperatively with them (Lloyd 1974, 37-38). Although a woman traditionally expects her husband to provide her with capital to start trading or to establish her craft, she is her own supervisor. Income derived from her labour is her own - to spend on herself and her children, after fulfilling her obligations to share in purchasing food, clothing, and sundries.
An aspect of the division of labour that is often ignored but which puts women at some economic advantage in Yorubaland is that, except in the case of cash crops, Yoruba social expectation and conjugal etiquette forbids the farmer to carry his own farm products to the market to sell. Any man who does is regarded as a miser. Since it is the wife who sells these items, whatever she declares as a sales profit is what the man will accept. It is not unusual for women to use some of such funds to begin petty trading in other goods as well.http://www.unu.edu/unupress/unupbooks/uu13se/uu13se0e.htm
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nwando
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The above proves Yoruba women have been independent for a while.
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kojeiwa (m)
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If you read my reply carefully, i said not all of them are like that. My sister's name is Bosede and she is benin.
Nwado you are right on that. And i said i would marry a yoruba girl if i find a good one.
Right now i am dating a Calaber girl and I am happy with her.
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D-reloaded (f)
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[Ok osisi I forgive you  |
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D-reloaded (f)
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They seem to be able to survive without a husband than Igbo women, for example Lmao. We thank GOD sha  |
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D-reloaded (f)
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And I thought respect was an integral part of the Yoruba culture! Their women often go down on their knees to curtesy to elders, while their men prostrate flat out on the ground as a sign of respect Thank you o Laudate. We are not the ones who see our grand parents and give them a bloody handshake. I don't understand how people can even feel right just standing in front of an very elderly person without some sort of sign of respect. Rubbish. Now they have the audacity to be running their rabies infected mouths like they know anything. I don't know if there are any statistics to back up this claim of divorce in Yorubaland, but if it does occur more often than other regions, It will be due to the higher urbanization/westernization that prevents people from staying in a relationship that is potentially life threatening or hopeless in the name of 'keeping face' or bearing 'Mrs' We thank God that we don't rely on a man for our happiness. Please tell me which ones are more likely to tell a woman to stay in an abusive relationship. Ori yen o pe. |
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nwando
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another excerpt from an article. In Nigeria, while some ethnic groups have gone ahead in women liberation and empowerment, Ndiigbo, the Hausas and few others still believe that the place of a woman is at home. The place of an Igbo woman in the community is still that of social exclusion.
In the southwest of Nigeria, a Yoruba woman is known to be as industrious as an Igbo man with their men struggling to meet up. An Igbo man will however prefer to be the “lord of the house” and in the communities even in the face of glaring failure and incompetence - not give women any chance social and intellectual expression. Man must be man, so we struggle till death; we abandon our villages and communities to cities and vow never to go back until we “make it”. We do rituals; defraud our brothers… to maintain the dominance?while what the writer says have a ring of truth,I disagree with some of it. http://www.kwenu.com/publications/cokonkwo/inferiorization_igbo_women.htm |
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D-reloaded (f)
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I have a real life case in point.
I have a close cousin who is married into a well to do Yoruba family.
Sadly her husband was a bum not because of his tribe but himself as an individual he is a waste of sperm cells.
His elder brother is married also to an Igbo woman and they live happily.
When she told me a few years ago about the heart wrenching stories of the physical and mental torture she was going through especially the constant punchings,rape,infidelity,forceful demands of her whole paycheck and beating her down for it,accusations and beating because he accuses her of cheating,I asked her to take her kids and leave him so that I don't get invited to her funeral but she refused to go.
Nobody else in my family sided with me.
They all asked her to pray and she stayed on.
Even when the man beat up her own mother,she stayed and prayed.
He would disappear for days with other women she stayed and endured.
It took years but finally she has filed for divorce just recently
Perhaps the average Yoruba woman would have gotten encouragement from her family to leave.
I don't know but I suspect that would have been the case.
You are right. Most likely had the wife been Yoruba, her family would have carried her away and cursed the husband What made her finally get a divorce? That's one thing I can't stand, "oh pray about the situation". SOME things are beyond prayer!! God is capable of everything yes but how can He help if you are already dead. I don't know why people don't think about these things. Yet these same people telling the woman to pray would be the FGIRST people to send the woman out if she was the offending party. Pitiful |
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nwando
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[Ok osisi I forgive you my sister the truth is often bitter. If I agree to the article about Yoruba families earlier posted and the statistics,it says the main reason Yoruba women file for divorce is non support from husbands. It is easy for a woman to remarry, in part because it costs less to marry a divorcee than a first-time bride. In a study by the Okedijis (Okediji and Okediji 1966) in Ibadan, cited by Eades (1980, 58),the most common reasons given by women for divorce were non-support by the husband (71 per cent), trouble with co-wives (32 per cent), trouble with in-laws (20 per cent), and lack of children (20 per cent). That and physical abuse are worlds apart. But perhaps non support comes with infidelity and keeping mistresses from Bodija to Agege,I don't know.of course too much of anything is bad. I still maintain that a woman in danger of being killed by a husband ought to leave irrespective of her tribe. No one is worth dying for. |
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nwando
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You are right.
Most likely had the wife been Yoruba, her family would have carried her away and cursed the husband
What made her finally get a divorce?
That's one thing I can't stand, "oh pray about the situation". SOME things are beyond prayer!! God is capable of everything yes but how can He help if you are already dead. I don't know why people don't think about these things. Yet these same people telling the woman to pray would be the FGIRST people to send the woman out if she was the offending party. Pitiful
I believe in prayers too but I also believe one ought to stay alive to pray LOL I'll also like my full set of dentition for proper enunciation of my words while lifting up holy hands ROFL. She finally woke up perhaps because she got tired of praying. She is a deaconess in her Church and I'm sure that was why she stayed ,because of what her fellow Christians would say of her faith. God is not a man and I know this girl had tried everything possible to make it work. I'm sure she hit rock bottom and realised his demons were just too many. |
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romeo (m)
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Ewooooooooo babyOsisi egbuo m ebea!!! onweghi ihe ura mere anya |
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OMUWUNMI
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Ewooooooooo babyOsisi egbuo m ebea!!! onweghi ihe ura mere anya why ae you speaking in tongue ?you think say na your church{cele}you dey?abeg come back and talk the one way we understand  Yoruba women are both autonomous and subordinate to men. Autonomy arises through a fairly rigid sexual division of labour, which excludes women from most agricultural work, and means that traditional women work independently of their husbands and not jointly or cooperatively with them (Lloyd 1974, 37-38). Although a woman traditionally expects her husband to provide her with capital to start trading or to establish her craft, she is her own supervisor. Income derived from her labour is her own - to spend on herself and her children, after fulfilling her obligations to share in purchasing food, clothing, and sundries.
An aspect of the division of labour that is often ignored but which puts women at some economic advantage in Yorubaland is that, except in the case of cash crops, Yoruba social expectation and conjugal etiquette forbids the farmer to carry his own farm products to the market to sell. Any man who does is regarded as a miser. Since it is the wife who sells these items, whatever she declares as a sales profit is what the man will accept. It is not unusual for women to use some of such funds to begin petty trading in other goods as well.http://www.unu.edu/unupress/unupbooks/uu13se/uu13se0e.htm Mr Nw[ b]OBODO[/b]he be like say you don enjoy yoruba girls well well o,why all this support? If you read my reply carefully, i said not all of them are like that. My sister's name is Bosede and she is benin.
Nwado you are right on that. And i said i would marry a yoruba girl if i find a good one.
Right now i am dating a Calaber girl and I am happy with her.
ol boy sofri sofri o,calabar girls are dangerous in bed o,you go wound o |
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bigbee (m)
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hhmm, nigeria now has a centralised divorce data base, how about the country focusing on things like national finger printing data base to enable the national security outfits track down fleeing habitual criminals.
to the poster be assured that divorce is not the bane of a particular ethnicity but individuals. so your idea of hand picking one ethnicity to me is stereo typing.u know how many people get divorce here in the USA everyday, i don't think u want to know, so post something reasonable 4 people to talk about.
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D-reloaded (f)
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]he be like say you don enjoy yoruba girls well well o,why all this support? ; Um osisi is a proud married Igbo WOMAN. and her support is kind of shocking considering the kind of fights we've had in the past |
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MP007 (m)
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@poster, this is the problem I have with people that post on this site, You just can't come on a forum of this magnitude with claims that lack evidence(stats,links, research,gov stats and public polls).Its important that you quote from sources and provide us with credible links, this is gettin out of hand,
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toyinrayo (f)
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@post because the male decide to act the goat after putting the ring on the woman's finger. and what can i say? we love being independent. |
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laudate
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my sister the truth is often bitter. If I agree to the article about Yoruba families earlier posted and the statistics,it says the main reason Yoruba women file for divorce is non support from husbands. It is easy for a woman to remarry, in part because it costs less to marry a divorcee than a first-time bride. In a study by the Okedijis (Okediji and Okediji 1966) in Ibadan, cited by Eades (1980, 58),the most common reasons given by women for divorce were non-support by the husband (71 per cent), trouble with co-wives (32 per cent), trouble with in-laws (20 per cent), and lack of children (20 per cent). That and physical abuse are worlds apart. But perhaps non support comes with infidelity and keeping mistresses from Bodija to Agege,I don't know.of course too much of anything is bad. I still maintain that a woman in danger of being killed by a husband ought to leave irrespective of her tribe. No one is worth dying for. D-reloaded or TOH, is it true that "non support comes with infidelity and keeping mistresses from Bodija to Agege," like Nwando suggested? Please explain. This is because what I have been made to understand, is quite different. While non-support by the husbands in some Yoruba communities could be synonymous with physical abuse, in other communities, it is an euphemism for abandonment. i.e. the man has gone AWOL and cannot be traced for several years. Even his family do not know where he is. So what is the woman supposed to do? Quite a few parts of that research are not valid anymore from what I have also heard. The levirate system no longer takes place. i.e. a surviving brother no longer marries his deceased brother's widow.And all Yoruba communities do not begin and end in Lagos, please. So why do folks keep using events that occur in Lagos and a few urban centres to collectively describe all Yoruba people? It makes me laugh. Can the Yorubas explain it to us? In many areas outside Lagos, women in unhappy marriages are encouraged to stay on in such marriages by their families. Some would even say that in their family, divorce is unheard of, so no daughter of their own should bring shame to them by embarking on it. The younger sister of my cousin's wife, was told this by her parents. The girl ended up with a broken arm after her husband beat her up the first time. Usually, it is women in families that have moved from their villages, into the towns & urban centres (e.g. Lagos & co.) that have the guts to embark on divorce, due to abandonment or physical abuse. It is not common outside the urban areas. And finally Nwando a.k.a babyosisi, Yoruba men do not initiate divorce because more than half of them are muslims, and as such their religion entitles them to second or third wives. Why initiate divorce as a man, when you can easily marry a 2nd or 3rd wife, to keep you happy if the 1st one displeases you? |
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Germannig
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Interesting topic. I think that Yoruba women, rather than their men somehow initiate most of the divorcements, being on the average more open-eyed (whatever that means) than other female Nigerians. I also feel (THOUGH I HAVE NO STATISTICAL BACK-UP) that the question asked by the poster is correct to a large extent.
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nwando
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In many areas outside Lagos, women in unhappy marriages are encouraged to stay on in such marriages by their families. Some would even say that in their family, divorce is unheard of, so no daughter of their own should bring shame to them by embarking on it. The younger sister of my cousin's wife, was told this by her parents. The girl ended up with a broken arm after her husband beat her up the first time. Usually, it is women in families that have moved from their villages, into the towns & urban centres (e.g. Lagos & co.) that have the guts to embark on divorce, due to abandonment or physical abuse. It is not common outside the urban areas. And finally Nwando a.k.a babyosisi, Yoruba men do not initiate divorce because more than half of them are muslims, and as such their religion entitles them to second or third wives. Why initiate divorce as a man, when you can easily marry a 2nd or 3rd wife, to keep you happy if the 1st one displeases you? That's true. I forgot that interesting bit. A man that allah allows to marry 4 wives can do as he pleases. She can leave if she wants to Allah would just provide a replacement. I hate polygamy with all my heart |
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nwando
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Um osisi is a proud married Igbo WOMAN. and her support is kind of shocking considering the kind of fights we've had in the past check my posts,I've always said it like it is. |
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olydim
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By Adedamola Oyeniran & Bola Odutayo A Celestial Church of Christ prophet, Michael Afolabi and his wife, Esther, are currently engaged in a controversy over the genuineness of their marriage certificate at the Agege Grade ‘A’ Customary Court. Counsel to the prophet, Bamiji Oyedokun, had brought a letter from the Ifako-Ijaiye Local Government registry, stating that there was no marriage contracted between both parties. The plaintiff, who is also the husband, told the court that he took his wife to the registry for notification of intention to marry on 23 November, but they did not go back to contract the marriage, a claim the wife disputed. The court had earlier instructed the registrar to conduct investigation into the matter. In his finding, the registrar claimed that the plaintiff signed one certificate on the day of notification of marriage to enable the respondent secure a job. He disclosed that the respondent, after the last hearing, went to the registrar of Ifako-Ijaiye Local Government for the document which the council refused to grant her. http://www.thenewsng.com/modules/zmagazine/article.php?articleid=21329 |
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D-reloaded (f)
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Olydim, get a life. How about reading what nwando wrote. Nop one cares about what you have seen
Dont be jealous that we don't like to stay in shackles. Oloshi.
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otele (m)
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the divorce cases in yorubaland are on the increase because the bitchy women are f-cking dirty very soon divorce cases will be on the rise in other parts of the country b/c the bitchy women are f-cking whores |
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RichyBlacK (m)
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And finally Nwando a.k.a babyosisi, Yoruba men do not initiate divorce because more than half of them are muslims, and as such their religion entitles them to second or third wives. Why initiate divorce as a man, when you can easily marry a 2nd or 3rd wife, to keep you happy if the 1st one displeases you? You're joking, right? |
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E-baby
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the divorce cases in yorubaland are on the increase because the bitchy women are f-cking dirty very soon divorce cases will be on the rise in other parts of the country b/c the bitchy women are f-cking whores Another Moron on the loose, abeg Seun ban this idiot !!!!!!!Waste of sperm, disgrace to the manhood |
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toyinrayo (f)
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Another Moron on the loose, abeg Seun ban this idiot !!!!!!!Waste of sperm, disgrace to the manhood
E-baby, my dear, dnt mind him. in no time, his dog species will miss him and come and claim their fool!! |
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E-baby
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E-baby, my dear, dnt mind him. in no time, his dog species will miss him and come and claim their fool!! LOL u re silly but really he needs to get ban jare |
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laudate
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You're joking, right?
Nah. . . . . .met a large number of Yoruba men who were (and still are) Muslims, in various parts of the South-west. In areas like Ijebu, Ilorin, Oyo, Isale Eko etc. the proportion of muslims, almost outstrips the Christians in many localities. Ehm. . . . .haven't you met any muslim Yoruba men?  |
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Busta (f)
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Why yoruba only.
This goes on everywhere and all over!
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olydim
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PM NEWS
Court Dissolves 16-Year Old Marriage
By: admin
Published: 2008/1/10 - Read 129 times Article Rated: 0.00
(0 votes)
By Paul Sanusi
A 16-year old marriage between Mr. Noah Ebudola residing at 9, Bajulaye compound, Somolu and Mrs. Mojisola Ebudola of 9, Unity Street, Oworo has been disolved by a Ketu Customary Court, Ogudu.
The petitioner, Mrs. Mojisola, 40, had sought the dissolution of the marriage which was contracted in 1992 and blessed with four children on grounds of irresponsibility and battering.
Mrs. Ebudola had accused her enstranged husband of being irresponsible, uncaring, drunkeness and beating her all the time. She urged the court to dissolve the union.
In its judgement, the court granted the petitoner custody of the four children and ordered the respondent to pay N10,000 as a parting fee to the petitioner.
The court also ordered the respondent to pay N8,000 monthly as upkeep allowance for the children.
The court directed further that the children should be allowed to spend the long vacation with the respondent anytime the school is on holiday.
In a related development, Mr. Sunday Sodeke of 14, Daniel Akande Street, Ibafo, has urged the court to dissolve his 19-year old marriage with Mrs. Adeola Sodeke of 1, Sodipe Street, Ikosi, Ketu.
The petitioner accused his wife of being unreliable, uncaring, stubborn and untrustworthy. He therefore urged the court to separate them.
The respondent, Mrs. Adeola consented to the dissolution. She told the court that the petitioner abandoned her and her daughter, Seun, 16.
She begged the court to grant her custody of the girl and order the petitioner to be responsible for the girl's education and welfare.
The court adjourned the case till 28 January for judgement and ordered the petitioners to pay N5,000 as interim feeding allowance for the girl, pending the adjourned date.
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bodsibobo (m)
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Whatever form of genberalisation is just plain stupidity!
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