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Siena (m)
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I've discovered it's always wise to focus on the important person in your life.
Otherwise, you could lose him / her, then it'll be too late.
I'm one of the lucky ones.
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Siena (m)
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Avoid distractions. I almost didn't take my own advise, and I almost lost everything.
Ignore folk who'll try to divert you up the wrong path, it's all to easy to accept advice from the wrong people!
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Siena (m)
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Well, another day, another week starts.
My second week into my new job, already, I'm indispensable to my boss, he knows my worth, and so do I.
It feels really weird working for someone other than myself, after so long.
Still, it's great to know how much I'll take home every month, less uncertainty, more space to make plans.
But, I'm not losing focus of what's important, what I know I can achieve on my own.
I have every confidence in myself, and my friends that count do as well.
All sorts of emotions are running through my mind.
Some sad, some joyous, but I'm filled with hope, I know everything'll work out for the best.
Hard to explain to others sometimes. They won't understand. Sometimes, I fail to understand too.
Who knows where things may lead? I have no idea, but I'll try something at least once.
If things don't work out, I know it won't be for want of trying.
So yes, I'll take the plunge, jump in at the deep end, no safety net.
Getting burned makes me stronger, I don't do depression, neither do I do stress.
My philosophy is simple:
If something's likely to stress me, I'll try to change it, before it does. Always best to change the course of events, if I can.
If I can't alter the course of things likely to stress me, then no need to let things get me down!
If I can't change things, then I'll learn to live them. Why stress? The issues will still be there tomorrow, whether I stress or not.
This probably doesn't make sense to anyone but myself, but it does work for me.
Tomorrow is another day, and I'll embrace all that comes with it, good or bad, and remain smiling.
My humour does help me a great deal, also allows me to interract with others that are against me.
For me, this is the age of miracles, of change.
I won't be blind to things that are staring me in the face. Been there, done that.
My problem is, I take most things as jokes, and often misconstrue the obvious, only realising later that folk ARE serious.
Right now, I'm looking forward to the future, with renewed hope.
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Siena (m)
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Had a bit of a shock today. Had some revelations from a friend of mine on here, there's a lot I've been blind to. A lot now makes perfect sense, everything now falls into place. But, damage has been done. Can I still make it up to 2 people very dear to me? Or, is it too late? I have been trying, but each time, I end up way more confused. Why can't things just be simple?  At least, I can understand both parties now. As I'm now better informed, is there a chance I can build bridges? Make something beautiful and meaningful out of this mess? I suppose, only time will tell. Untill I get a firm "no", I won't give up. |
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Siena (m)
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Another weekend rolls to an end, but I feel it was way too short.
I need a change of scene, looking into a road trip to Italy, or Spain.
Still trying to resolve issues, but difficult, when the 2 people involved don't make things easy.
But, I guess all I can do is keep on trying.
A friend adviced me today to try my utmost to resolve issues.
That's a tall order. I guess when folk are hurt, they need their own space.
So, I'm going to try the "no pressure" approach, hopefully, it'll work, and they'll come round in time.
You both know who you are, you've made your points.
Can't we call a truce?
Does a whole year need to roll by, before we put things behind us?
I can only try so much, before even I know when I'm beat.
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Siena (m)
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June the 7th:
Had a great day out with a very good friend of mine, was pleasantly surprised.
left home at 07:00, didn't get bact till 22:50.
Still, I don't regret the fatigue that followed, had a ball!
Got back to an unexpected, though pleasant surprise.
Had a bit of a heart-to-heart with one very dear to me.
Learned a few home truths.
So, probably all's not lost?
I'll take things at her pace, some of what she said, make perfect sense.
So, I'm optimistic about the future, I'll take things as they come.
What else can I do?
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Siena (m)
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Tuesday 10th June, 2006:
After a lot of soul searching last night, I came to a decision.
It takes 2 to make a relationship work.
It's high time I did my bit, and none too soon either!
I feel a lot better for deciding, rather late than never.
I guess the outcome will shape the future to come, I'm quietly optimistic.
I thank my friends for listening to me, and being there for me too.
Hopefully, I'll return the favour some day.
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Siena (m)
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Made a conscious decision, I guess I was being too keen.
So, a chapter of my life's closed, or at the very least, put on hold.
How does one fight true feelings? Ignoring them seldom makes them go away.
So, I made some partial revelations, some things I was already well aware of, feelings that wouldn't go away.
Whether it was a good idea, only time will tell. But, I feel much better for it all.
Who knows what will happen next?
Sometimes, even I with the feelings, don't know the answers.
How can I expect those closest to me, to understand, if sometimes, I myself don't?
I love my friends, and I don't want to lose any.
Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut, but then, I'd be deceiving no one, but myself.
Some things are better off said, regardless of the consequences.
For the first time in weeks, I feel relief, and all the better for it.
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