What It Would Be Like

What It Would Be Like

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?"

"No, I don't waste time shopping. I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?"

"Are you nuts?! I haven't had my hair done in twenty years!"

"Well, I am not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

"That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after twenty years without shopping, hair appointments and wine."

I'm lmao.