masonkz:
I actually don't know if this is a global thing, but I've come to notice it a lot around people here, especially the guys.

You see a single woman that is successful at what she's doing, and then the next thing that comes to your mind is to start opining that she must be bitter cos she's in her 30s or approaching 40 and not married. These are the kind of people that feel that for a woman, marriage is the biggest achievement that can happen to her. That no matter what a woman has in life, if there's no marriage, then she's not made, not minding the fact that many married women are silently suffering in their marriage.

In turn, this same thought process goes on to affect the woman as she starts getting desperate and starts having a very low self esteem. The pressure gets to the point where they end up going from one church to the other and in so doing may fall into the prey of men solely looking out for these kind of women to exploit. Only those bold enough to shake off the society's expectation of a woman can actually hold their head high and not give a hoot about what anyone says.

Even women can be their own enemies when a married lady starts using another's singlehood to insult her. In my opinion, that is way below being petty. Now the trend is when people see fine pictures of single ladies on social media, the next question is "where is her husband?", "...who go marry this one wey don reach 30something?", "...too bad that she's this rich and fine with no husband"... poor reasoning I.M.O.

Ladies/Women, your first priority when it comes to happiness is yourself, and not to cater to the happiness of the society. Granted, you may have wanted to marry in your 20s, but if that isn't /wasn't the case, why go on killing yourself about it? Develop yourself the more, be beautiful to yourself, get that money rolling, the career moving, that business booming. If need be, get a baby papa and get yourself pregnant and train the child yourself!. If teenagers can have unwanted pregnancies and still see the child through childhood, successful women can surely do better!

While that last part may not lie well with many, my point still is that you shouldn't go through life thinking having a husband would be your guarantee to having a fulfilled life. Having a great family is beautiful, if you don't have one, align your priorities and have your options open as to what really you CAN DO to make yourself more happy with YOUR LIFE.


#okbye.

FrancisTony: Who wrote 'half of a yellow Sun' or who produced 'Ije' and other blockbuster movies.

Anyways, you have duly being noticed.

OLAADEGBU:

It is either this woman was telling the truth or/and she was demon possessed. If that was the case shouldn't the demon be cast out like Paul did in Acts 16:16-18?

OLAADEGBU:

It is either this woman was telling the truth or/and she was demon possessed. If that was the case shouldn't the demon be cast out like Paul did in Acts 16:16-18?

OLAADEGBU:

How did you know?

Originalsly: Here you go again....EVERYBODY knows the Ave is in the hood. Now I know you really don't know what you are talking about. FYI...Jamaica Ave begins in Brooklyn and runs for a short distance only before it crosses the border and continues as a main artery through Queens. Its short distance in Brooklyn is in the hood. In Queens it cuts through all classes of neighborhoods so for you to say the ave is in the hood is another display of ignorance and arrogance. The initial purpose of your thread was to paint a true picture...give a reality check to those desirous of migrating....those who believed what is portrayed on TV to be the real deal. Isn't it ironic that here you are in the same shoes as those you were trying to enlighten?...believing what you see in your whatever top rated index to be true?...despite what somebody on ground is telling you? You need to chill or you will lose whatever little credibility you have left.

LifeIsGuhd!!:
Am stl in chr..+..i dnt fink i will learn anitn since ur askn mi a question durin sermon time

manny4life:


Wow... Bitch, person, and what have you? Really

You will have heart attack o...

You're 21yo, and perhaps haven't signed a lease, so you talk about lease and don't even know what a lease is about let alone what it entails. If you did, you won't ignorantly state an international student is leasing a place.

Then again, this is coming from a frustrated 21yo who's life is about fancy furniture, fancy phones and what have you while his mates are saving up and getting their shitt together. I thought you were informed, but you're misinformed. More reason why I won't waste my time with you, STOP PEDDLING LIES.

It's ok to struggle and hustle, once upon a time, we ALL did it, I had my tough day in college, but your fanciness has earned you bitterness about the U.S., don't blame the U.S. for your woes, blame your fancy spending. I dislike the U.S. for the system not for the constant bickering you've put out there.

God bless you...PEACE

Originalsly: Bro...if you get your figures from internet research...say so. I don't need to consult your source. I expected a bell to go off in your head when I specified that Jamaica Ave, Brooklyn is hood. I am very familiar with New York...am in New York at the moment...Brooklyn to be precise...and personally bought a 3 liter bottle of Poland Spring(...one of the better and most popular brand...) two days ago for $1.50. Because of your statement how many have left with the wrong impression that a small bottle of water costs $8 in New York? You should be man enough to admit you were misled instead of this display of arrogance and childish name calling.

Originalsly: Bro...if you get your figures from internet research...say so. I don't need to consult your source. I expected a bell to go off in your head when I specified that Jamaica Ave, Brooklyn is hood. I am very familiar with New York...am in New York at the moment...Brooklyn to be precise...and personally bought a 3 liter bottle of Poland Spring(...one of the better and most popular brand...) two days ago for $1.50. Because of your statement how many have left with the wrong impression that a small bottle of water costs $8 in New York? You should be man enough to admit you were misled instead of this display of arrogance and childish name calling.

peterphd:
Guy you dey vex o.lol

Originalsly: Jamaica Ave, Brooklyn?...that's the hood. If you paid $8 for even a gallon of water in New York period....if you didn't know I'm telling you now... you got scammed. $1 is the going price for a reg bottle of COLD water for the longest.

manny4life:

I did not even know where to start from because of the information you put out there is blatantly false. For instance on the lease part, he won't be able to get a lease simply because he doesn't have a SSN to sign a new contract/lease contract. His option is to rent a room which is usually between $500-650 monthly everything included. There's nothing conservative about it, a girl friend of mine has rented a room out here in Springfield VA for $550. Go to Craigslist.com and get information, please STOP misinforming people.

As for the part of fancy phone, fancy furniture and fancy nonsense, I can see the reason why you hate America so much, I'm disliking it as well, but you and I tend to have different reasons. My friend, people like me have what we call budget, it's called financial discipline: spending less than you have. Why buy a Samsung Galaxy when other phones perform the same function? If I want clothes, I go to JCPenney for their sale, and few times at Macy's. What's with the rubbish of "fancy furniture"? It all makes sense why you hate America, YOU'RE BROKE.

Let me tell you something, in my house, the brown leather sectional I've had for 3years + is getting weak because friends and family sleep on it and and the leather on two part of seats are kinda breaking/chipping off.

Solution to the weakness of the spring: http://www.walmart.com/ip/As-Seen-on-TV-Furniture-Fix-Interlocking-Panels/16609877 The link is supporting panels I saw on As Seen on TV, it supports the couch, according to the ad, even a Sumo wrestler of 700lbs can bounce on your couch. I have no plans on replacing it, I said I will remove the leather covering and return it back to the store and see if my warranty covers a new leather, if not, I will buy a new leather covering or the slip-on cover. Total cost---> $150 or less. Do I plan on replacing my entire sectional that cost $1800 when I bought it on sale, HELL TO THE Bleep NO, and yes, after more than 3yrs, it's still looks decent. If I can take pictures, you will see for yourself.

You know when last I replaced my TV ? About 4 years ago, I still have flat screen from back then, 37inch to be precise. Have I been longing for the Samsung Internet TV with 3D, fvck yeah, do i really need it, hell no...Granted I augmented it with my xbox, blu-ray player, surround sound system, etc... That's it. Bros, according to all you have written, you seriously need financial discipline. I'd advice you get it. Anyone who can't live within their means and come here to write nonsense should please stay back.

manny4life:

I did not even know where to start from because of the information you put out there is blatantly false. For instance on the lease part, he won't be able to get a lease simply because he doesn't have a SSN to sign a new contract/lease contract. His option is to rent a room which is usually between $500-650 monthly everything included. There's nothing conservative about it, a girl friend of mine has rented a room out here in Springfield VA for $550. Go to Craigslist.com and get information, please STOP misinforming people.

As for the part of fancy phone, fancy furniture and fancy nonsense, I can see the reason why you hate America so much, I'm disliking it as well, but you and I tend to have different reasons. My friend, people like me have what we call budget, it's called financial discipline: spending less than you have. Why buy a Samsung Galaxy when other phones perform the same function? If I want clothes, I go to JCPenney for their sale, and few times at Macy's. What's with the rubbish of "fancy furniture"? It all makes sense why you hate America, YOU'RE BROKE.

Let me tell you something, in my house, the brown leather sectional I've had for 3years + is getting weak because friends and family sleep on it and and the leather on two part of seats are kinda breaking/chipping off.

Solution to the weakness of the spring: http://www.walmart.com/ip/As-Seen-on-TV-Furniture-Fix-Interlocking-Panels/16609877 The link is supporting panels I saw on As Seen on TV, it supports the couch, according to the ad, even a Sumo wrestler of 700lbs can bounce on your couch. I have no plans on replacing it, I said I will remove the leather covering and return it back to the store and see if my warranty covers a new leather, if not, I will buy a new leather covering or the slip-on cover. Total cost---> $150 or less. Do I plan on replacing my entire sectional that cost $1800 when I bought it on sale, HELL TO THE Bleep NO, and yes, after more than 3yrs, it's still looks decent. If I can take pictures, you will see for yourself.

You know when last I replaced my TV ? About 4 years ago, I still have flat screen from back then, 37inch to be precise. Have I been longing for the Samsung Internet TV with 3D, fvck yeah, do i really need it, hell no...Granted I augmented it with my xbox, blu-ray player, surround sound system, etc... That's it. Bros, according to all you have written, you seriously need financial discipline. I'd advice you get it. Anyone who can't live within their means and come here to write nonsense should please stay back.

Stegomiah: Don't understand why some have dcided to attack the OP's personality by calling him a kid, don't think a 21year old is a kid.

Read through all the pages, and all i can point out is that the OP is not trying to discourage Nigerians from travelling to the States nor is he trying to paint Nigerians and other blacks thriving in the states bad, but he is just giving those who wanna come over a proper orientation of what to expect, doing so in a pragmatic way.

This thread is like a debate, not every one will agree with his point of view. Not every one will think in same line with him, but the bulk of what he said is the truth backed up with facts that's if you see it from his point of view. What the T.V paints about America is not the real America you get that's for someone trying to start a life. Hussle, and make a living, the start is αℓωαчs rough especially if you know no one,

And another major thing is that there is no basis of comparism between Nigeria and the states, our country is just 53 years old while America is close to 200years, don't think the OP is trying to compare both countries either.

I have been to the states on 3 different occasions, got siblings and relatives there and trust me i know a lot about the states. To survive and make sense there below are some things that will help:

Preparation- Get well prepared, be fully informed. Outline your goals work towards it, mix with people that can help you become succesful not the ones that will mar your stay and get you in trouble.

Discipline- you need to show a high level of discipline, many things are attractive there and tempting which if you are not careful will land you into serious debt. Cut your clothe according to your size, save and invest somewhere else.

Hardwork- work hard, work hard and work hard. Lazy people can never survive in america, most times you are on your own, hard work pays

If we put same efforts we apply to survive in america, poverty will be far gone in Nigeria. America brings the best in people cos its so fuxking competitive. No one needs to borrow you sense or tell you what to do before you know whatz up, cos every one around you Ȋ̝̊̅S̶̲̥̅ thriving to survive and make it or better still live the american dream, with so much accrued debts, you will learn to work harder to catch up.

Jeezy: Ok. So, somebody in my office wants to resign from a N300,000 per month job, go and study Computer Security in the US (saved up the tuition and rent- about $30,000), get a job after his Masters using his post-study work visa, HOPE that his employer will file for his work permit, and earn an estimated $50,000 a year (estimate based on current vacancies in that field).

For the Nigerians in the US, does the above plan sound realistic? Is there a remote chance that this might be a good plan? What are the odds?

We all come to crossroads in life where we have to decide on which way to go. This decision can make or ruin a person's life. Help this 'somebody in my office' make a wise, informed decision.

Ms Nas:
Why would a bottle of water be 1,500 (almost $10) when I buy a pack of 24 for $4 at Walmart or Kroger? Don't listen to his pack of lies dude
Probably he's drinking Evian water, Which I have no need for. Water is water!
Even vending machines sell water for a dollar! Smh

Originalsly: Hmmm...$8 for a small bottle of water? ...in NYC...no way. A 3 litre bottle of water is under $2.

royale442: mehn! A bottle of water for 1,500.

trae_z: Ozo_emeka these pass few days you've worked hard at exposing the myth surrounding America and you went about it hard.

Truth is I don't believe you're 21. Too much depth in your researched flows propably made up of the once bitten, twice shy regret stance.

You're at least in your late twenties.

No lele sha, nothing do you. Cheers.

trae_z: Ozo_emeka these pass few days you've worked hard at exposing the myth surrounding America and you went about it hard.

Truth is I don't believe you're 21. Too much depth in your researched flows propably made up of the once bitten, twice shy regret stance.

You're at least in your late twenties.

No lele sha, nothing do you. Cheers.

anonimi:

The issue is that word I highlighted- ALL.
He has not said all the glossed up images are fake. In fact if I remember correctly in his first few posts he talked about a couple (his relations) who are both doctors and have clinics in Nigeria apart from their work in the US.
The core of his thread is that there are quite a number of deceptions in the US for Nigerian immigrants that those who are YET to embark on the adventure need to be FULLY aware of.

rusher14: America like every nation (Norway and Switzerland inclusive) has it's own problems.

Wealth distribution could be skewed, apathy towards certain ethnicity could be rife making life unbearable for some.

However, after all said and done, the OP should acknowledge he is the offspring of immigrants (at least judging from his moniker).

This is point is moot because if nothing, it reinforces the perspective of not a few contributors; America has it challenges but these are evils many are willing to face. If the child of immigrants could make it to Cornell, it wouldn't be lost on a few that the potential for scaling life's hurdles exist for them, if only they could get there.

Ghettos and shanties are monuments of the modern society. As well we have the high-rises and semi-detached homes some with picket fence (the American dream) .

In the grand scheme of things, man wishes to survive and then thrive.

try telling a man who's barely surviving that the American dream isn't for him.

Tinyemeka:

The "glossed up" images I am aware of, are the flashy cars, houses and cash being thrown around when those Nigerians come home during holidays. Are they all fake? Aren't there much successful Nigerians in the US?
And must you be born there or have parents wealthy enough to sponsor you to Ivy League colleges before you can really make it there?

Tinyemeka:
However, @Ozo Emeka, I must admit that if your intent was to show the true picture of things in the US, then your attempt was a biased one. The opening pages of this thread were filled with pictures of ghettos and the severe gaps between the affluent and the homeless, obviously living side by side.
You said the US is not all about gloom and doom.
Where are the success stories? The happy pictures (and I am not talking literarily)?

Where is the balance you talk about?

babyosisi:

Cornell?
Ranking no 16 in university rankings
Ranks lower than the ones I was talking about
Try top two
Cornell
Tokunbo Ivy League
The headquarters for suicides??
I hope you don't become part of the stats with the way you are carrying on
You will soon jump off a bridge

I will not reveal anymore about me or where I schooled
Suffice it to say that it is a first tier university that ranks not too far away from your backyard ivy league
Ivy leaguers go talk,Cornell people will talk too
Mschtwwwww

Tinyemeka:
OP didn't say "Don't come". He said "Prepare your mind. These are things you might see when you come" They are two different things.

prince_onx:
This is exactly why me and you are here having this conversation! I don't live or close to the ghetto! And I don't have one closer than atleast 20mnts from me! Might be 2,5mnts for others that's them! America is not the same for everybody so no body especially those that it didn't favor should not discourage anybody especially someone that is suffering in Nigeria not to come to US if they have the opportunity. And like you said, homeless people live or stay Mnts from the WhiteHouse!! That's America for you! Can that ever happen in Nigeria/Abuja? Minutes from Aso rock? I don't think so! Not with the way states in Nigeria are deporting people to their states!
Guy! to live for America no be by force oh! You cant claim you don't eat beans but eat Akara or moimoi!!! If you don't like it here or can't make it here! Try other places or better still go back naija!! You can't live abroad and condemn it and also discourage people from coming yet you no wan leave!

Visit the travel section when you can and read/hear what half of this folks here are saying or asking how to get visas to even places you won't believe!! Some are even and still crying foul about the disqualification of nigeria in the US DV lottery even though we've reached our limit. You know what? Ara ga gba ndi ara! What'a h€££!

Tinyemeka:
There is. Balance you say. So there has to be a the good and the not good side.

Are you trying to recant?

babyosisi:

FYI my hubby and I came to the USA two months apart ,and we got our green card the same day
He came on a JI visa,I came on a J2
He later got a an H1, I got an H4
Our green card was stamped on our green passports the same day,I hope you read that
And everything was legal
We were married in Nigeria
What is your next question?

I am saying all these things about myself that I have never revealed in my years on NL just to prove to you that not all Nigerians are living from hand to mouth like you paint
Or suffering under the weight of racism
Yes racism exists but it cannot stop anyone who is focused
If you excel in what you do,even those who don't like you because of your skin color will be forced to respect you
They have no choice
It is defeatist to hammer on racism and use that you scare people when Nigerians in Lagos are telling Igbos in Lagos to go home
Is that not stupidity?
There is worse discrimination where you come from
Theodore Orji sacked all the neighboring Igbo state indigenes in his employ solely for being non Abians and nothing happened
Can anyone try it in the USA?