A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story - Family

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A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:04pm On Oct 22, 2014

Often times we have an individual that complains about their spouse and we the members of this platform have to advise with caution because we have not heard the "other side" of the story.

What if we could actually get both sides?

You might consider this thread if you have genuine concerns and want fair advice and resolution of such issues.

How this might work?

1. Serve your spouse notice that you want to use this platform as a arbitration medium to solve the dispute.

2. Obtain permission to table your grievance.

3. Create a unique handle to table your grievance.

4. Your spouse creates their own unique handle as well and post their response to your assertions.

5. The house considers and gives advice.

6. You select the best advice(s) and move forward hopefully as a better/happier couple.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:04pm On Oct 22, 2014

What do you all think?

Good or bad idea?

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by TV01(m): 3:12pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:
What do you all think?

Good or bad idea?

It could well turn out to be a great idea/resource.
You may have to selct panels for each unique issue to stop things being dragged allover the place.

TV

^{**it does sound a bit "gbeborun'ish" sha !**}

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Mynd44: 3:16pm On Oct 22, 2014

**grabs pop-corn**

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:17pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

It could well turn out to be a great idea/resource.
You may have to selct panels for each unique issue to stop things being dragged allover the place.

TV

^{**it does sound a bit "gbeborun'ish" sha !**}

^{Na u sabi, I love carrying out social experiments} Anything worth doing at all is worth doing well. If you are going to complain, do so with a view to finding genuine solutions is what I say.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:18pm On Oct 22, 2014

Mynd44:
**grabs pop-corn**

^{Pours water on pop-corn} angry

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 3:24pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

^{**it does sound a bit "gbeborun'ish" sha !**}

True. But gbeborunism, even if passive, is essential for sanity.

2 Likes

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by TV01(m): 3:29pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:

^{Na u sabi, I love carrying out social experiments} Anything worth doing at all is worth doing well. If you are going to complain, do so with a view to finding genuine solutions is what I say.

I didn't complain - in fact I thought it was a great idea and offered what I thought was an improvement! And I may even consider being part of an appropriately selcted panel for select issues.

freshdude2:
True. But gbeborunism, even if passive, is essential for sanity.

Abi? Comfort Mac in his unease - no man wants even the merest suggestion that he may be a tatafo grin

!

TV

2 Likes

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:31pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

I didn't complain - in fact I thought it was a great idea and offered what I thought was an improvement! And I may even consider being part of an appropriately selcted panel for select issues

TV

I meant complaining spouses not you as an individual.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 3:33pm On Oct 22, 2014

Sounds like a nice idea.

But some partners might just not be interested in the "social media marriage counselling". Especially the erring ones grin

Let's see. . .

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by cococandy(f): 3:38pm On Oct 22, 2014

How many folks have spouses on NL?
And where they already aren't, how many will agree to become members just because they want to be heard too.
I don't see an arrogant person who abuses their partner having the humility to answer the summons of the other person on a public forum to air their side of the story.

But...
It is still worth the try

1 Like

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 3:40pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

Abi? Comfort Mac in his unease - no man wants even the merest suggestion that he may be a tatafo !

TV

Lol. He'll get it eventually.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Busybody2(f): 3:40pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:
What do you all think?

Good or bad idea?

Glad you have decided to explore your calling as a Psychologist...been a long time coming cool

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by TV01(m): 3:40pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:
I meant complaining spouses not you as an individual.

Gotcha! Apologies, I misunderstood. Thought so.

Let see how it goes - perhaps you should constitute a number of diverse Panels to handle any issues.

Of the Marrieds, I'd suggest one panel as follows;

You can mix it up if you need specific /tailored input

TV

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by TV01(m): 3:42pm On Oct 22, 2014

cococandy:
How many folks have spouses on NL?
And where they already aren't, how many will agree to become members just because they want to be heard too.
I don't see an arrogant person who abuses their partner having the humility to answer the summons of the other person on a public forum to air their side of the story.

But...
It is still worth the try

Volunteer jo...you have a good head on you.

TV

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:43pm On Oct 22, 2014

cococandy:
How many folks have spouses on NL?
And where they already aren't, how many will agree to become members just because they want to be heard too.
I don't see an arrogant person who abuses their partner having the humility to answer the summons of the other person on a public forum to air their side of the story.

But...
It is still worth the try

It is not for everyone. I am thinking there might be mature couples who might be willing to use this platform; thare are times when a couple just need a little external help to sort them out and then they will be like: "what were we even fighting for?".

Those are the kind of people I am thinking would find this interesting.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by moscobabs(m): 3:45pm On Oct 22, 2014

good idea....

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:46pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

Volunteer jo...you have a good head on you.

TV

I am actually not thinking of having a formal set of advisers. I am hoping that bad advisers will get shamed into silence by reactions to their posts. I am neck-deep in too many formal arrangements and with this idea I am not even going to try to make anything formal.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 3:47pm On Oct 22, 2014

[quote a

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by TV01(m): 3:47pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:

I am actually not thinking of having a formal set of advisers. I am hoping that bad advisers will get shamed into silence by reactions to their posts. I am neck-deep in too many formal arrangements and with this idea I am not even going to try to make anything formal.

Be prepared for derailments, threads to mutate all over the place and large servings of beef - you have bben warned - no order = chaos!

TV

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by maclatunji: 3:50pm On Oct 22, 2014

Busybody2:

Glad you have decided to explore your calling as a Psychologist...been a long time coming

I guess helping others become calm helps me to keep calm too, ~~I could tear people apart from stress.~~ grin

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 3:50pm On Oct 22, 2014

cococandy:
I don't see an arrogant person who abuses their partner having the humility to answer the summons of the other person on a public forum to air their side of the story.

Hasty generalisation, much? Not all marital disputes are due to abuse.
And, even if that's not what you meant, you've got the imperative to be clear in your comments.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 3:56pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:

It is not for everyone. I am thinking there might be mature couples who might be willing to use this platform; thare are times when a couple just need a little external help to sort them out and then they will be like: "what were we even fighting for?".

Those are the kind of people I am thinking would find this interesting.

There was @mutter once upon a time, a remarried divorcee. She was nearly the sole voice of reason around these parts. I wonder why she withdrew.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by cococandy(f): 4:00pm On Oct 22, 2014

I get this part. Well since it's now clear that it's not for everyone, I guess it is settled then.

maclatunji:

It is not for everyone. I am thinking there might be mature couples who might be willing to use this platform; thare are times when a couple just need a little external help to sort them out and then they will be like: "what were we even fighting for?".

Those are the kind of people I am thinking would find this interesting.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Busybody2(f): 4:07pm On Oct 22, 2014

maclatunji:

I guess helping others become calm helps me to keep calm too, ~~I could tear people apart from stress.~~

Hmmm, mind over matter stuff...deep cool

TV01:

Be prepared for derailments, threads to mutate all over the place and large servings of beef - you have bben warned - no order = chaos!

TV

There are many posters in this section whose sole existence & validation is living for the pats they get on the back, so it should be a free for all thingy...

1 Like

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by cococandy(f): 4:09pm On Oct 22, 2014

I'm with him.
Why should there be a set of formal advisers?that's basically saying everyone else is shut out from trying to help.
Besides even the best of advisers on this forum have their 'not so good' days.
Same as the trolls have their amazingly sensible days.
If the couple can't sift chaff from wheat?
Tough luck I say.

TV01:

Be prepared for derailments, threads to mutate all over the place and large servings of beef - you have bben warned - no order = chaos!

TV

1 Like

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by cococandy(f): 4:11pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

Volunteer jo...you have a good head on you.

TV

Volun...?
Uncle TV I beg to pass.

Thanks tho wink

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by TV01(m): 4:18pm On Oct 22, 2014

Busybody2:

There are many posters in this section whose sole existence & validation is living for the pats they get on the back, so it should be a free for all thingy...

cococandy:
I'm with him.
Why should there be a set of formal advisers?that's basically saying everyone else is shut out from trying to help.
Besides even the best of advisers on this forum have their 'not so good' days.
Same as the trolls have their amazingly sensible days.
If the couple can't sift chaff from wheat?
Tough luck I say.

I meant a different panel of how ever many for each individual issue.

If it's open season for contributions, how is it any different from what normally obtains?

TV

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by Nobody: 4:22pm On Oct 22, 2014

Busybody2:

Hmmm, mind over matter stuff...deep

There are many posters in this section whose sole existence & validation is living for the pats they get on the back, so it should be a free for all thingy...

Big bumper shocked

Where did the 2 come from? tongue

How are you babes? kiss

@thread the few times I have seen a couple come here to air their issues, it has made things worse.
in the cases I have seen, the other party happens to stumble accross what their spouse said and they then go on to tell an opposite story

Maybe if they both agree beforehand to discuss their issues, and are both in agreement, then maybe it will work.

While you are here mac, I have been thinking of opening a question/answer/reality thread on the romance section, because that is really where the foundation needs to be built on solid ground beofre the "I do", but I havent had time to do this. Maybe some people can help with that.

For the married ones, its maintenance & mostly endure and red pant and boxers advise cool

but the singles can still run 440 if they feel that something is not quite right with Mr/Miss Right.

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by cococandy(f): 4:30pm On Oct 22, 2014

TV01:

I meant a different panel of how ever many for each individual issue.

that may be complicated.how will it work? Say when a couple bring their issue of the moment to the thread,we vote to decide who the advisers for that particular case will be?
Well I don't know... Seems not so easy

If it's open season for contributions, how is it any different from what normally obtains?

difference is the two sides of the story will be heard this time around (unlike before) and posters can see for themselves who's actually wrong or not

TV

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by jaybee3(m): 4:30pm On Oct 22, 2014

Hi Cococandy

Re: A Thread For Both Parties To Share Their Sides Of The Story by zemaye: 4:32pm On Oct 22, 2014

chaircover:

For the married ones, its maintenance & mostly endure and red pant and boxers advise but the singles can still run 440 if they feel that something is not quite right with Mr/Miss Right.

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