The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar - Family - Nairaland
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Never Judge A Book By The Cover / A Married Man. A Single Lady. The Infidelity Trend... / I Feel So Manipulated & Used By Some People Back Home In Nigeria (2) (3) (4)
| The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 11:42pm On Dec 19, 2014 |
The Manipulated Man - a book by Esther Vilar The Manipulated Man is a 1971 book by author Esther Vilar. The main idea behind the book is that women are not oppressed by men but rather control men to their advantage. A third edition of the book was released in January 2009. Synopsis The book argues that, contrary to common feminist and women's rights rhetoric, women in industrialized cultures are not oppressed, but rather exploit a well-established system of manipulating men. Vilar writes, "Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's vagina." The book contends that young boys are encouraged to associate their masculinity with their ability to be sexually intimate with a woman, and that a woman can control a man by socially empowering herself to be the gate-keeper to his sense of masculinity. The author says that social definitions and norms, such as the idea that women are weak, are constructed by women with their needs in mind, and that praise is only given to a man when a woman's needs are met in some way. Vilar claims that women can control their emotional reactions whereas men cannot, and that women create overly-dramatized emotional reactions to attempt to control men and get their way. She says that women "blackmail" men and use sex as a tool. The book argues that women use traditions and concepts of love and romance, which are seen more positively than sex, to control men's sexual lives. Vilar writes that men gain nothing from marriage and that women, who are out to get men's money, coerce them into marriage under the pretense that it is romantic. Critical reception The Manipulated Man was quite popular at the time of its release, in part due to the considerable press coverage it received. The author Esther Vilar appeared on The Tonight Show on February 21, 1973, to discuss the book. In 1975 she was invited to a televised debate by WDR with Alice Schwarzer, who became known as the representative of the women's movement at that time. The debate was controversial, in particular due to its high aggressiveness, and at some point Schwarzer claimed Vilar was "not only sexist, but fascist", also comparing her book with the Nazi newspaper Der Stürmer. According to the author, she received death threats over the book: So I hadn't imagined broadly enough the isolation I would find myself in after writing this book. Nor had I envisaged the consequences which it would have for subsequent writing and even for my private life - violent threats have not ceased to this date. Achievements According to research from the Spanish Book Institute, the Spanish translated version was the third-most popular book sold in Spain in 1975. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Manipulated_Man 2 Likes |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 11:46pm On Dec 19, 2014 |
Manipulate a man with s*ex?  In 2014? What kind of men? |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 11:52pm On Dec 19, 2014 |
#Following and taking notes, Emeritus Prof.  Original black man! |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 11:58pm On Dec 19, 2014 |
SirShymex: How is your side of London ? |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Truckpusher(m): 12:02am On Dec 20, 2014 |
| .......Prof Ilekokonit I duff my hat. Tell them the truth.  |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 12:03am On Dec 20, 2014 |
What Ester Vilar wrote; Women "blackmail" men and use sex as a tool. What NL Women would read instead; Women should "blackmail" men and use sex as a tool. 3 Likes |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 12:07am On Dec 20, 2014 |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 12:14am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Truckpusher: I no send them. At least no be me do dem. If dem like make dem hear word, if not its up to them. I was advising a young lady I met today and I told her that as long as she treated her man the way her Mum treated her Dad, then her marriage will last when she eventually gets married. I also gave her the caveat that the time is already upon us when men will shun marriage in droves because of the attitude problems of the fairer sex. But what I know is that for me personally, no woman will give me a skirt to wear even though oyinbo men have been wearing skirt for ages and some "unfortunate" black men have succumbed to wearing skirt in the home all because they live in the permissive West where anything goes and they have been hen-pecked into the ground. I love women but I can't stand aggresive women. 1 Like |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by YourCoffin: 12:14am On Dec 20, 2014 |
She didn't say anything new, just a different perspective. The notion has always been glaring to a keen observer. She forgot to mention that somehow black men are more immune to women's manipulations than white men. Maybe, the reason for this, is because black women are yet to perfect their act or due to black men's inherent rebellious spirit. But, the woman harsh sha. I've never seen a book as denigratory of women as hers. 2 Likes |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 12:15am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: I can definitely relate to the bold, hence I'm always wary of emotional blackmail these days. And also why it's always important to never get your emotions involved when dealing with women. It's all a game. However, I don't understand the first bit. Was she alluding to emotional lust, when it comes to attraction and sexual urge, or just emotions in general? |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 12:19am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: Just chilling. Nairaland is an anonymous site and no one knows the experience or otherwise of the person behind the keyboard in differing areas but as a man if I read something about relationships from a woman that makes common sense then I'll take it on board for future use. But then again, common sense is no longer common and what was good in times past is now bad and what was blatantly bad in the past is now good. As for me, I have a low tolerance for obvious bullshit and in certain areas I vehemently refuse to be politically correct when the whole world is going astray. As I told a young African lady I met today, I advised her that she is better off marrying an oyinbo guy if she is of the school of thought that our African ways of relating in marriage is too old school or "uncivilised" for her. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Truckpusher(m): 12:23am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit:
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| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 12:28am On Dec 20, 2014 |
[quote author=Truckpusher post=29037328][/quote] You mean more like the image below :-
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| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 12:37am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: That's what these folks don't understand about life. People's experience(s) is what shapes their mentality. And personally, with me, the only women I take it to the next level with, are women that're like my mum and sisters. I prefer it that way cos I understand the perspective, and it's always easier for me to connect with that. Thus enabling me apply things that're natural to me, and lessons I learnt from my parent's marriage. Women are like commodity (no pun intended), and they come in all shapes and sizes to be picked. So, you can't force people to pick what they won't connect/get-along with, all in the name of pseudo-modernity. I'm super-western and I'm also super-black/African. Also very cultured. And I deal with reality - while trying to be part of the solution to the unique problems plaguing black people/family. Not part of the problem. Moreover, they only push that "school of thought" on black men. When they meet white men, they get star-struck and become slaves. Overly submissive. And the funniest thing is that: most white men aren't even attracted to them, they just objectify them, and treat them like shiit. But who cares? - there are loads of great young black chics out there, from nice families. I've got a lot of friends that're cool-headed. 2 Likes |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 12:38am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: Its a mystery to me as well, hence I did not highlight it. I laugh internally when a woman talks at 1000 miles an hour and you are listening patiently digesting her words and just for her to let you get a word in is a problem for her. I also wonder when they send you a flurry of texts like a hyper-active somebody that has swallowed a whole can of nescafe and whilst you are still trying to reply one text many more have come in from her. If only our women would calm down. A lot of times these women are sleep deprived because of over ambition and greed for money thus destabilising their brain chemistry hence their hyper-active brain and combative attitudes but if you try to advice them to slow down, take more restful sleep to calm down their brains and generally pause for thought before talking, you will suddenly become their enemy. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 12:43am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Bwahahahaha They're just too emotional, and everything they do is induced by emotional impulses in BPS (bits per second). When they come with that flurry of emotional rants, I just lock off my phone, and switch it off. And if we're together in the same vicinity, I just tell them to shut the fvck up, and walk away. Ain't no one got time for that. |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 12:45am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: This is in my psyche as well and is what every black man I know subscribes to. Which makes me wonder why black women are hell bent on turning black men into WIMP's and if you try to correct them, you have become their enemy. |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 12:51am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: Its amazing how fast these women type when they want to send you multiple "per second" texts and want to brow beat you into accepting their point of view BY FORCE. Most of these texts at the end of the day are childish to say the least. 1 Like |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 1:00am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: A clear case of inferiority complex. SirShymex: If only they knew what these men say about their body parts to their mates who haven't been with a black woman before. SirShymex: Seeing that you did not grow up in Africa, how did you manage to keep a strong black identity in a country that has perpetually knocked everything black overtly and covertly  ? |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 1:10am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: It's about emasculating black men. And perhaps some of them are just bitter about something. Who knows? Sir, I'm not even going to lie, I started seeing this madness of black women trying to dominate, and thinking the traditional family structure is wrong, on NL. And perhaps, with those naija women who kick their husbands out of house, all the time, out here. All through Uni, all the chics used to cook for us all the time. Heck, one of my female friends used to do my laundry for me all time back then, cos I lived in a studio flat - and obviously, they don't put washing machine in studio flats. Also, going all the way to Uni hostel for laundry was a mission for me back then. And cos she lives like 5 mins drive from my house, I'll just dump all my clothes in a bag. Drive down to hers, dump the bag there, and she usually ring me later to come get them. And these are chics born and raised in London, not Africa. Hence I still can't comprehend the "western"/"modern" nonsense these blinkered folks always spout on here all the time, to be honest. 1 Like |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 1:10am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 1:24am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: The problem is that a lot of them are oblivious to reality. Hence they dwell in idealism, and an imaginary space. It's just basically a mind control thing. It's just natural for people from other races not to be attracted to black women. Only black men can handle black women, and their problem. They've got too much testosterone. Thanks for asking. Basically, I was just like everyone else before. However, the journey started during my 2nd year in Uni. One of my friends (he's also Nigerian - Edo guy, from Brixton) introduced me to Afrocentrism. At first, I wasn't really on it. But he must have given this book, "The Destruction of Black Civilisation" by Chancellor Williams. Read it through the summer break, and that was how my journey into enlightenment and knowledge about African/black history/culture started. Subsequently, I started attending seminars with him, and other friends. Read loads of books. And since then, I've not looked back. Also, since I'm Yoruba, I decided to make Yoruba history the nucleus of my own scholarship. And that was how I discovered this forum in 2012, and I've been on here since then. When I first registered, I did learn a lot about Yoruba history, especially from folks like: Katsumoto, Negro_ntns, TonySpike, 9jacrip, Terracotta, PhysicsQED et al. But you know how toxic the forum has become, with too many illiterates, who have absolutely nothing to offer. So, these days, there's basically nothing to learn anymore, than just clown around. 1 Like |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 1:41am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: I think its "delayed womens liberation" a.k.a "independent womans syndrome". A case of assertiveness gone wrong as evidenced by the horde of single black women in their late forties and even early fifties and the battalion of single mothers who have mismanaged their own marriages due to their cantankerous nature and wrongly copying every thing oyinbo literature and TV tells them. Just log onto pof.com and you will see approx 500,000 people online at any time - a sizeable proportion being women. 1 Like |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 1:55am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: That's such a shame and I think the lowering of educational standards has a big part to play in that coupled with riff raff's now becoming undergraduates because the entry scores have been lowered and also the amount of exam malpractice that goes on in our exam halls. 1 Like |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 2:11am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: I honestly don't think it has to do with "independent woman's syndrome" cos most of these lousy women depend on men most times for upkeep. They just want to be belligerent cos feminism is the "new sheriff in town" and the coolest thing to be part of. You'd be shocked that almost all of them don't even have an understanding of what they talk about - it's that shocking. As for the old single mums, those ones are just using that to leech the welfare system, whilst they fvck around. I know plenty-of-fish - when did they change the domain name to pof.com? |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 2:16am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Lol, the overwhelming majority of posters on this forum are either stark illiterates, or educated illiterates. Most of them can't even exhibit basic reading and comprehension skills. So, basically, telling them to use critical thinking/analysis to debate any subject-matter is an uphill task. Hence I prefer to clown around, than waste my time in engaging people. Coupled with the fact that their knowledge scope is very limited. |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 2:18am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: Reminds one of the single mother in Dublin that got her intimate pics posted online by her "boyfriend" about a week ago. SirShymex: They both lead to the same place. |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Ilekokonit: 2:19am On Dec 20, 2014 |
SirShymex: Very true. That's the result when a lot of people cheat to pass exams even in medical school. Shocking. |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by killjoy(m): 9:42am On Dec 20, 2014 |
I read dat book too. it inspired d thread , seven reasons u shud neva get married. gladly following |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 9:48am On Dec 20, 2014 |
killjoy: So you use a book written in the 70s to say that one should never get married?  |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by 5minsmadness: 9:54am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Humbly following my elders and taking notes |
| Re: The Manipulated Man - A Book By Esther Vilar by Nobody: 11:59am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Lol, they always end up with riff raff cos of their desperation to get laid by anyone. And they lure these guy who wouldn't mind sleeping with them, for the fun of it and loose change, with the money they leeched off the system. Apparently, that woman labelled herself as being "rich" after scrounging all kinds of benefits, as a single mum. These women are hilarious! 1 Like |
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