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Could My Wife Be Cheating? - Family (14) - Nairaland

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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by egobetatoday: 9:03pm On Jul 12, 2015
F50:


I dont cheat too... If I did I wouldn't be making such rules. And she won't be obeying those rules if she caught me cheating.

thats fair enough. i hope u know that most of the guys on NL are guilty of communicating n doing other things with exes but they will come here n be shoutjng DIVORCE HER. i wonder how e dey sound for their mind or better still conscience.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by egobetatoday: 9:16pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


It's no excuse! A guy that's willing to share his personal affairs on Nairaland shows that he's deeply concerned, he hasn't given up on his wife yet. Women are fond of making excuses such as he's not approachable, he won't listen and he doesn't have time; the reality is there were better options available to her than confiding in another man! Maybe I'm just old school but some things are just not done when married!

if he is deeply concerned as u explained things wouldnt have degenerated to this level. how will ur wife want to discuss something with u and u increase the volume of ur music?. he only came here to hear what he wanted to hear and he got it. i'm even suspecting he has a gf already. does it mean he prefers to discuss on nairaland but not with the person (wife) concerned?

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Mutendiwashe(f): 9:46pm On Jul 12, 2015
wagazala:
Bros, begin find new wife.

If your wife would go as far as cook and confide in another woman's husband other than you then obviously something is wrong. The usual template answer most people will give you on this forum is have a heart to heart talk about it to your wife, pray about it, etc. Forgerrit, if you don't have kids yet, i'll suggest you start packing your bags.
It will always be easy for any 12year old child to come online and give advice on marriage when they have never been in a committed relationship before.

Marriage comes with its ups and downs and if you always think of getting off the next bus stop everytime an issue arises be ready to do the same with the next 5 or 6 women you will marry.

Show me a perfect man or woman and i will show you the world's biggest liar. Too many imperfect people expecting a perfect spouse.

This is something that can be worked on my being more open in the relationship. How can a person remove his ring and still expect the other person to be 100% perfect when they have given that person a million reasons to mistrust or grow distant from them.

To freelance777 if your excuse for removing your wedding is not either because you are allergic to the material or it was too tight, i would say you created reasons for your wife to find consolation in other people. You need to sit down with her. If her removing her wedding ring affected you this much, dont expect your removing your wedding ring to have done anything less to her.

Find the root of the problem and fix it. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Perfect women do not fall from the sky especially for an imperfect man.

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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by abbey621(m): 9:51pm On Jul 12, 2015
egobetatoday:


if he is deeply concerned as u explained things wouldnt have degenerated to this level. how will ur wife want to discuss something with u and u increase the volume of ur music?. he only came here to hear what he wanted to hear and he got it. i'm even suspecting he has a gf already. does it mean he prefers to discuss on nairaland but not with the person (wife) concerned?

Stop it already with your biased assessment! I'm assuming you are not married because if you were you would understand that things are not always rosy like the movies would have us believe. Are you telling me the guy turns up the music every time she wants to have a discussion or is this a one time event in which she has chosen to capitalize on? If I was in the guy's position, we would already be discussing divorce or at least a temporary separation, the fact that he's still looking for advice shows me that he has not given up on her. I don't tolerate bullshit and what the wife has done is inexcusable, I've seen women sent packing not doing half as much so trust me when I say she should thank God she married a cool headed guy!

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Mutendiwashe(f): 9:52pm On Jul 12, 2015
freelance777:


Unfortunately we have kids together, 2 kids to be precise. So am on some serious hanging here. If not, I might probably have parted ways with her.
maybe you got into marriage a little too early before you became mature enough to handle it.

Unless you are perfect you should be working on bringing the trust and openness into the marriage. You have to be mature enough to fix things that are broken and not just throw it away.

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by perry2020(f): 9:52pm On Jul 12, 2015
misreal:
shatap my friend. We are talking marriage,not boyfriend and girlfriend..this is why marriages are failing.ladies now expect an African man to behave like a European..my parents have been married for over twenty five years now,and counting.neither my dad or mum cheated,because they did it in an African way..woman fear God oh.
That's because both ur parents are matured,ur mum is very contented and knows what she wants.
Am being realistic here not making excuses for her but trying to offer a solution. Y knt u treat ur marriage like a relationship,y treat her so nice and after marriage leave all d swt goodies of it.m sure ur mum and dad still chill out or have nice times,m sure he buys her gifts,women are different from men,they love to be showed love,ur can't compare women of ur mother's generation to the kinda women that re out there now.
Plz reason positively rather than being quick to bash me.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Mutendiwashe(f): 9:53pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


Stop it already with your biased assessment! I'm assuming you are not married because if you were you would understand that things are not always rosy like the movies would have us believe. Are you telling me the guy turns up the music every time she wants to have a discussion or is this a one time event in which she has chosen to capitalize on? If I was in the guy's position, we would already be discussing divorce or at least a temporary separation, the fact that he's still looking for advice shows me that he has not given up on her. I don't tolerate bullshit and what the wife has done is inexcusable, I've seen women sent packing not doing half as much so trust me when I say she should thank God she married a cool headed guy!
we are assuming removing a wedding ring barely a half a decade into the marriage is excusable?

So since other people would rather throw away a marriage for half as much it makes it the mature and sensible thing to do because some other people out there are doing it as well?

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by ideykwum: 9:54pm On Jul 12, 2015
cheesy cheesy cheesy

Goldenboy007:


What da heck are you talking about ? There are times I wish I will read and don't comment because of puerile responses like this. As much as I criticize the modern day feminism, I realize that some people are called men by virtue of reproductive organs. What do you know about marriage or how many years of marriage do you have? Your demunitive intelligence did not dictate decorum to you when expressing an opinion in a public forum? Lack of exposure has robbed you of objectivity which you have gladly replaced with egocentric tantrums! I do not blame you for the condescending reply...the rain has allowed the eagle and chicken to share a common abode. Nonsense !!!!
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by abbey621(m): 9:55pm On Jul 12, 2015
Mutendiwashe:
we are assuming removing a wedding ring barely a half a decade into the marriage is excusable?

It's not excusable but it does not give the woman the right to do what she's done. We are Africans, whatever happened to reporting him to his family members or someone he respects? You people keep trying to come up with lame excuses for a married woman to flirt around and I'll keep telling you all the same thing, it's pure bullshit!

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by ideykwum: 9:57pm On Jul 12, 2015
Read my comment and your two comments, and get a neutral person to tell you who is being egocentric, juvenile (not puerile!) and lacks exposure!

I'm seriously tickled by your response! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Goldenboy007:


What da heck are you talking about ? There are times I wish I will read and don't comment because of puerile responses like this. As much as I criticize the modern day feminism, I realize that some people are called men by virtue of reproductive organs. What do you know about marriage or how many years of marriage do you have? Your demunitive intelligence did not dictate decorum to you when expressing an opinion in a public forum? Lack of exposure has robbed you of objectivity which you have gladly replaced with egocentric tantrums! I do not blame you for the condescending reply...the rain has allowed the eagle and chicken to share a common abode. Nonsense !!!!
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Mutendiwashe(f): 9:59pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


It's not excusable but it does not give the woman the right to do what she's done. We are Africans, whatever happened to reporting him to his family members or someone he respects? You people keep trying to come up with lame excuses for a married woman to flirt around and I'll keep telling you all the same thing, it's pure bullshit!
show me where i gave lame excuse for her to cheat? If you remove your wedding ring, do you think its very reasonable to expect her to continue being a jolly good wife after having such an insult to her union thrown in her face?
Why would you do something you wouldnt want the other person to do to you and still expect everything to remain remain rosy?

You should never open your marriage to trials you cannot handle when thrown back in your face. Be the good spouse you want you wife/husband to be and see if you will not reap the benefits thereof

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by perry2020(f): 10:02pm On Jul 12, 2015
misreal:
shatap my friend. We are talking marriage,not boyfriend and girlfriend..this is why marriages are failing.ladies now expect an African man to behave like a European..my parents have been married for over twenty five years now,and counting.neither my dad or mum cheated,because they did it in an African way..woman fear God oh.
First of all you don't have the right to tell me to shut up coz am not talking to u,this is a social forum where we all air our views,if u ain't ok with my opinion then mind ur business and face front rather than tell me to shutup.
Secondly must we always be so poverty stricken to this African mentality,i feel it's unexposed people that have such ideas coz if u are well learned u will know that u dnt stop doing what u did in a relationship just coz u have now married the woman,y must u treat her right during relationship and suddenly stop after marriage.
Thirdly you knt come here and compare ur parents marriage to another person's marriage,every marriage has its own issues and the couples involved have ways of sorting it,ur parents are far older and more matured compared to a lady who isn't contented with what she has.
Am nt justifying her cheating am only trying to create a long term solution to spark up their relationship and marriage.its totally wrong to stop doing the things u used to do during relationships just coz ur now married. + he doesn't know yet if she cheated or not if I can rightly remember.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by perry2020(f): 10:04pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


I'm sorry but did you actually read what you posted? This is marriage and not some trumped up relationship. Absolutely no excuse for what the wife has done. You gave excuses such as boredom, lack of gifts, lack of dates but sincerely that's bullshit! All I see from what the guy has described so far is a woman who's not content with what she's got.
They are not excuses rather long time solutions and ideas the man can come up with that could save the marriage besides he isn't sure if she slept with the guy.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by vague: 10:05pm On Jul 12, 2015
freelance777:
Dear Nairalander's

How are you all doing? I hope you guys are doing well? I am writing this post to express my fears of the unknown, because I have been a very trusting and reliable husband to my wife.

Before marriage, my wife have once told me about his ex who is supposedly his best date ever in her life before she met me, that apart 2 years into our marriage, we had an arguement in which she confronted me about a number saved with a lady's name on my dialled list. I openly and honestly told her it was my old school mate whom I missed her call and had called back. But she wanted to know more like I was doing something shady, that got me all roused up and I just told her to leave me be.

A week later, I received a call from her straight from work that my daughter had a serious cut on her lips due to an
accident, I quickly rushed down to the school, but met them at the nearest clinic where my daughter's lip was being stitched, few mins later I walked down to her school where she works nearby to pick up her car key then bring her car nearby so we could all go home, surprisingly, I found her wedding ring inside the glove compartment. A ring she wore out to work that very morning.

I didnt question her immmediately until the night of that day, I asked her why she had removed her ring and kept it in the glove compartment knowing fully well that the wore it out that very morning, she said it was because I have had mine removed since the past 1 month, so she also had the same reason to remove her's.

A week later, she opened up to me that she has been talking to her ex whom I described above, I asked her about what? She said she has been taking advise from him whenever we have issues. I kept shut and moved on.

2 more years into this marriage, I recently found out that her ex had sent her a whatsapp message, but she didnt respond, so I opened up a discussion with her based on ex's. I asked her if keeping contact of ex's or communicating with ex's is good for married people be it the man or woman, she said its a no no, that infact she will never accomodate such and that its wrong for anybody to do that. I immediately told her to open up her whats app, she did and I showed her her ex's whats app message, she at first was scared, wanted to cover up the phone somehow, but due to fear, she slowly relaxed herself and she said well that I can see that he is just talking and she has not been responding, and that its possible for someone you do not have on your contact list to send you a whatsapp message, I agreed, but countered her saying you also have saved his number with Abbreviation, if you never intend having future communication with him, why then did you save his number thereafter? I didnt get an answer, until later after two weeks when she told me she was in communication with him in order to secure a job for his younger brother. ( Very hard to believe) I moved on.


A few days later again, I was on my way to help her fix her iphone which she has abandoned like a year and the half, something just prompted me to dial his ex's number on that phone, behold she had saved the number as 'rsif' someone who bears Williams. Anyway I kept quiet still. The the final incident that gave me a final warning that this my wife might be cheating on me unknowingly was just a month ago when she told me she had met this dude on the same estate we reside, that he was into business and had also gave her his complementary card, I asked what he does, said he is an estate agent, I responded saying estate agency does not correlate with what you do, she said at least he can provide us good offer for housing by the time we are ready to move. When all of a sudden, she said that same guy had asked her to help cook since his own wife had travelled to the USA to give birth. She asked if it was right for her to go ahead and do the cooking, I immediately denounce that move that it is wrong, and that the guy has another motive entirely. I told her to tell him that he should ask his own family member to cook for him, and that she should immediately cut communication with him if she wants to last long in the marriage.

My wife responded by saying, she does not think the guy has bad intentions and that he is a cool and nice person with a very mild personality,that if the dude has such intentions, that it would be the most surprising occurence to her. I said well just do as I have said. Lo and behold, I investigated her phone and I found out that she had already cooked for this dude even before she asked me the question. I confronted her, and she said it was because I might not find it funny and thats the reason why she kept it a secret at first. I then promise to show her that the dude was infact a cheater whom is planning to cheat on his wife with my own wife. One day, I impersonated my wife, and started sending text as such as that am ready to give him what he wants, lo and behold, this dude was responding and was even asking where I was at, that he is ready to heal my wounds, a hug and everything that I needed. I showed my wife the text message, and she acted all surprised, but I was not, because based on the conversations that I have seen, it seems to me that whenever I have issued, he rushes to call the guy and tell him everything, which was a good avenue for the guy to provide emotional consolation in order to get what he wants.

I apologize for this long story, but I just needed to detail this story well, so that I can get insight of what I need to be thinking, what I need to do, and the right steps to take.

Thanks all.



you disrespected the marriage by taking off the ring and expected the devil not to play skelewu with your marriage? You are a very big joker!

You need to stop wasting pastors time and energy bringing you together if you have no intentions of showing commitment in your marriage.

Its not by force to have a wedding every Saturday. Stop wasting all of that money on jollof for people to enjoy on your wedding when all you will do with the marriage after that is play child's games with it.

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by vague: 10:11pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


I'm sorry but did you actually read what you posted? This is marriage and not some trumped up relationship. Absolutely no excuse for what the wife has done. You gave excuses such as boredom, lack of gifts, lack of dates but sincerely that's bullshit! All I see from what the guy has described so far is a woman who's not content with what she's got.
if you get bored in your marriage or your wife doesn't spoil you or she isnt romantic enough, you are telling me that in all honesty you will continue to be a loving loyal husband to her and you will waive off any temptation that comes your way?

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Moana(f): 10:17pm On Jul 12, 2015
One needs to be very wise about the kind of advice they get on a forum like nairaland. They will always be people with other motives.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Tay16(f): 10:24pm On Jul 12, 2015
freelance777:


Does that counseling of a thing truly do work? I am in a big doubt to that.
if your ego is far much more important than dealing with a small problem that has hit your marriage you could always divorce and come back and give a testimony about the next flawless woman that you will marry, is such a woman exists. Quick question, why did you remove your wedding ring if you were aiming at keep a flawless wife and a perfect marriage?

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by abbey621(m): 10:25pm On Jul 12, 2015
vague:
if you get bored in your marriage or your wife doesn't spoil you or she isnt romantic enough, you are telling me that in all honesty you will continue to be a loving loyal husband to her and you will waive off any temptation that comes your way?

Yes! Some men are natural cheats while others have self respect. As a man I know it's my job to tell my wife how I want to be treated, I owe it to her to discuss what I like and what I don't. If she won't listen, I'll involve her family and if that doesn't work I'll leave her. The day my wife stops being attractive to me is the day I know something is not right somewhere and that's where the conversation starts not flirting or cheating!
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by vague: 10:32pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


Yes! Some men are natural cheats while others have self respect. As a man I know it's my job to tell my wife how I want to be treated, I owe it to her to discuss what I like and what I don't. If she won't listen, I'll involve her family and if that doesn't work I'll leave her. The day my wife stops being attractive to me is the day I know something is not right somewhere and that's where the conversation starts not flirting or cheating!
so now that a problem has presented itself in the OP marriage why are you giving a different vibe from what you would do in your own marriage?
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by bigfly: 10:34pm On Jul 12, 2015
perry2020:

They are not excuses rather long time solutions and ideas the man can come up with that could save the marriage besides he isn't sure if she slept with the guy.

U are talking about sure if she slept with the guy or the trust broken by the action of the wife.

The wife her self knows she has messed up from the tone of her response in page 4 but other ladies here on Nairaland just want to side with womanhood irrespective of the situation.
Even the guy ask simple question which is. "Could my wife be cheating" and he explain the reasons for asking such questions. With people's response including ur self, it is clear that the lady had sown a seed of doubt by her actions and there is no reason to blame the guy for thinking so.

The question I have been asking all this solidarity people here is
1 Can your spouse do what the op's wife has done and u will remain silent and still have trust in your partner?
2 Can your partner condone half of what op has condoned?

One thing about Nigerians is that we tend to act base on emotion and sentiment rather that reality and fact, this usually make us to discard the truth when it does not suit us.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by abbey621(m): 10:34pm On Jul 12, 2015
Mutendiwashe:
show me where i gave lame excuse for her to cheat? If you remove your wedding ring, do you think its very reasonable to expect her to continue being a jolly good wife after having such an insult to her union thrown in her face?
Why would you do something you wouldnt want the other person to do to you and still expect everything to remain remain rosy?

You should never open your marriage to trials you cannot handle when thrown back in your face. Be the good spouse you want you wife/husband to be and see if you will not reap the benefits thereof


You still don't get it do you? If a wife does not like an action by her husband for goodness sake let him know, if he does not change involve people who can talk to him. You act as if marriage is about tit for tat, if a woman should react the way she has to every little issue in her marriage, she would soon find herself out the door. By your reasoning because the man took off his ring or he isn't a good communicator, the wife has the freedom to flirt with another man, confide in him and who knows what. When did Africans start acting like the Kardashians?

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by abbey621(m): 10:37pm On Jul 12, 2015
vague:
so now that a problem has presented itself in the OP marriage why are you giving a different vibe from what you would do in your own marriage?

Wrong again, they are way beyond that stage. The damage has been done already, if I were in the guy's shoe at this stage I would have sent her packing but it seems this guy is a softy which is why he's on Nairaland asking for advice.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by vague: 10:42pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


Wrong again, they are way beyond that stage. The damage has been done already, if I were in the guy's shoe at this stage I would have sent her packing but it seems this guy is a softy which is why he's on Nairaland asking for advice.
okay im assuming you will be the "hardy" that will help his children deal with the divorce and you will be able to give him a wife who will be able to handle another woman's children and be the perfect spouse to him that he cant be to her. Arent we all always ready to give the easy way out when we know we wont be there to help people deal with the most hard times?
Are you even married or have you ever had a serious relationship before?
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by vague: 10:46pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


You still don't get it do you? If a wife does not like an action by her husband for goodness sake let him know, if he does not change involve people who can talk to him. You act as if marriage is about tit for tat, if a woman should react the way she has to every little issue in her marriage, she would soon find herself out the door. By your reasoning because the man took off his ring or he isn't a good communicator, the wife has the freedom to flirt with another man, confide in him and who knows what. When did Africans start acting like the Kardashians?
If African marriages are more stable why are more people running away from them and adopting the western way of doing things?
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by bigfly: 10:46pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


You still don't get it do you? If a wife does not like an action by her husband for goodness sake let him know, if he does not change involve people who can talk to him. You act as if marriage is about tit for tat, if a woman should react the way she has to every little issue in her marriage, she would soon find herself out the door. By your reasoning because the man took off his ring or he isn't a good communicator, the wife has the freedom to flirt with another man, confide in him and who knows what. When did Africans start acting like the Kardashians?

Don't mind them, they were just looking for excuse for her.
Does wearing wedding ring made her starts communication with her ex?
Does wearing wedding ring made her saved ex phone number with code?
Does wearing wedding ring made her to start befriending neighbours against her husband wish?
Does wearing wedding ring made her to cook for married male neighbour and lied to her husband about it?
Does wearing wedding ring made her to wear her wedding ring out in the morning only for her to hide it in glove compartment later in the day?

Sometimes I wonder how people reason, but I know when sentiments set in human being losses their logical reasoning.

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Mutendiwashe(f): 10:50pm On Jul 12, 2015
abbey621:


You still don't get it do you? If a wife does not like an action by her husband for goodness sake let him know, if he does not change involve people who can talk to him. You act as if marriage is about tit for tat, if a woman should react the way she has to every little issue in her marriage, she would soon find herself out the door. By your reasoning because the man took off his ring or he isn't a good communicator, the wife has the freedom to flirt with another man, confide in him and who knows what. When did Africans start acting like the Kardashians?
you clearly misinterpreted me. To every action there is a reaction, of you know for certain the reaction will not be a good one why remove the ring in the first place? A ring symbolises a union between 2 people and its only a grossly inconsiderate person who would think there would not be a negative reaction after doing something knowing every well it disrespects that their union stands for.

So what you are simply saying is if a man is not a good communicator something can always be done about it to make it better but if the wife on the other hand is not a good communicator the marriage should be thrown down the drain?

Clearly your idea of marriage is one-sided. One has to be at the receiving end and the other has to be the one giving, no 2ways about it.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Mutendiwashe(f): 10:55pm On Jul 12, 2015
bigfly:


Don't mind them, they were just looking for excuse for her.
Does wearing wedding ring made her starts communication with her ex?
Does wearing wedding ring made her saved ex phone number with code?
Does wearing wedding ring made her to start befriending neighbours against her husband wish?
Does wearing wedding ring made her to cook for married male neighbour and lied to her husband about it?
Does wearing wedding ring made her to wear her wedding ring out in the morning only for her to hide it in glove compartment later in the day?

Sometimes I wonder how people reason, but I know when sentiments set in human being losses their logical reasoning.
if your wife removes her wedding ring barely years into the marriage, please tell us what your poitive reaction to it would be.

How does ignoring a person's messages constitute as flirting with an ex?
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Brytawon(m): 10:59pm On Jul 12, 2015
egobetatoday:


Sir, i salute u for ur intelligent advice.
pls how do pple get phlegmatics to talk self because I'm thinking that will really be a hard nut to crack.

if a guy sees himself as perfect and doesnt have any fault, what should the lady do?



Phlegmatic temperament is an inborn trait and one among the four temperaments we have. It is hereditary and can be transfered to offsprings. To know much better about yourself if you have phlegmatic temperament, I'll advice you look for this book and buy titled: WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO by TIM LAHAYE. It will sure answer most of your questions.

Back to your question, it is inborn and cannot be changed. You only know how to express yourself when you're around people who know how to motivate you and press the right buttons in you.

The lady has to learn how to bring out the best in him by motivating, encouraging and support. This kind of people are not quick to anger but when they do, it takes much out of them.
She has to be a very patient and understanding person to tolerate such man. She must also know that he's much of a jealous lover.

Finally, she can press the right buttons in him if she knows how to motivate him. The best medicine for such kind of people is unconditional love.

THANK YOU!
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Moana(f): 11:03pm On Jul 12, 2015
Brytawon:



Phlegmatic temperament is an inborn trait and one among the four temperaments we have. It is hereditary and can be transfered to offsprings. To know much better about yourself if you have phlegmatic temperament, I'll advice you look for this book and buy titled: WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO by TIM LAHAYE. It will sure answer most of your questions.

Back to your question, it is inborn and cannot be changed. You only know how to express yourself when you're around people who know how to motivate you and press the right buttons in you.

The lady has to learn how to bring out the best in him by motivating, encouraging and support. This kind of people are not quick to anger but when they do, it takes much out of them.
She has to be a very patient and understanding person to tolerate such man. She must also know that he's much of a jealous lover.

Finally, she can press the right buttons in him if she knows how to motivate him. The best medicine for such kind of people is unconditional love.

THANK YOU!
on nairaland this only exists if the woman is the one who loves unconditionally, its "unmanly" and a taboo for a man to love just as much, it has to be limited depending on how much his ego can take in.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by bigfly: 11:04pm On Jul 12, 2015
Mutendiwashe:
you clearly misinterpreted me. To every action there is a reaction, of you know for certain the reaction will not be a good one why remove the ring in the first place? A ring symbolises a union between 2 people and its only a grossly inconsiderate person who would think there would not be a negative reaction after doing something knowing every well it disrespects that their union stands for.


So what you are simply saying is if a man is not a good communicator something can always be done about it to make it better but if the wife on the other hand is not a good communicator the marriage should be thrown down the drain?
Madam did u read the husband's complain and the wife's response at all, the woman never complained about ring until her husband caught her with ring hidden in the compartment, she said her husband stops wearing it a months ago, husband said she saved ex number with code on the iPhone she abandoned over a year ago.

Pls read her response very, it is clear her husband started misbehaving immediately her ex came in. That is why she said she now know why d man has been mean to her.

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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by abbey621(m): 11:05pm On Jul 12, 2015
Mutendiwashe:
you clearly misinterpreted me. To every action there is a reaction, of you know for certain the reaction will not be a good one why remove the ring in the first place? A ring symbolises a union between 2 people and its only a grossly inconsiderate person who would think there would not be a negative reaction after doing something knowing every well it disrespects that their union stands for.


So what you are simply saying is if a man is not a good communicator something can always be done about it to make it better but if the wife on the other hand is not a good communicator the marriage should be thrown down the drain?

You're still mixing apples with oranges! Let's simplify this; the man took off his ring (Bad), at this point the man is at fault, a good complaint from the wife or even to family members would have resolved this but what did she do? She starts communicating with an ex(bad), she took off her ring too( very bad), she starts visiting another man (worse), she cooks for the man( worse to worst), she starts telling the man about her marital problems (worst). Hope you are getting my point here, it's not until a woman sleeps with a man before she can be accused of adultery, for goodness sake you call all her actions a negative reaction, please don't make me laugh! Screaming at the husband would be a negative reaction, calling him names would be a negative reaction, even threatening to walk away would be a negative reaction. What she has done is a taboo, totally uncalled for and only a woman who does not respect herself would ever do such a thing! You keep thinking marriage is about tit for tat when in reality it's not!

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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 11:05pm On Jul 12, 2015
freelance777:


Unfortunately we have kids together, 2 kids to be precise. So am on some serious hanging here. If not, I might probably have parted ways with her.
Honestly bro, u fall ma hand. Ur wife doesn't deserve d treatment shez going tru now. U ve to defend cum protect cum support cum fight for her, learn to treat her rite. Women just don't go out to cheat, u mite ve pushed her to dat extent, wen she nided u, u were nowhere to be found. All she nids is true love and care cum listening husband, and once she gets dat from u, damn and man dat disvirgined her. Ma first babe, she had a guy dat opened d hole for her, buh wen I was in charge who born dat man to smell dere. What u nid to do now, is to draw her closer to urself and see how she becomes d best.

NB: treat a woman as a queen, and she won't only treat u as her king buh also makes u feel as a god.

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