@lailaiwala, Ify has been taken if not I would have put on my smooth-talking game and whisk her away!!
And who is that in that blurred pix ?

@lailaiwala

Please leave Ifyalways and the charity thread you know nothing about out of this. Ifyalways is a respected married woman.

And be informed that it is against the forum rules to post someone's picture without his/her consent.

Thanks.

BRIEF STATEMENT ON THE ELECTION
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE ELECTION COMMISSIONER

Based on classified intelligience report recieved by the commission on plots to frustrate the Eze Ndi Igbo election by holding parallel election, the Highly Independent Nairaland Electoral Commission (HINEC) has made a little modification to the election time table.

The election shall commence immediately.

Polling Center and guideline can be located here:



https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-819196.0.html#msg9707966

Totally hilarious thread.

NRI PRIEST:





Bros,slow down abeg cos Ify is very married!

O nwero ife ne me nwanna, we dey kampe but please ask when is the actual date for election because it seems nobody has an answer

Kilode?!:

Totally hilarious thread.

, because you weren't invited

^^^^^Yeske, bros elections have been going on already. Point B posted the link here earlier on:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-819196.0.html#msg9707966

Kc3000:

^^^^^Yeske, bros elections have been going on already. Point B posted the link here earlier on:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-819196.0.html#msg9707966

thanks, voted already

Ejiné:

Okada Man Dies In Jubiliation - Nigerian Horn

In what may be best described as a celebration gone too far, the event of December 6th, 2011, has reportedly claimed the life of an Ohafia-born motorcyclist, Ojioso Agaumuahia.
According to witnesses who spoke with Nigerian Horn, this incident is not unconnected to the recent announcements regarding the Alaigbo electoral nominees. It has been revealed that as soon as news of the disqualification of Okija_juju was confirmed, Mr. Agaumuahia, with his motorcycle, took to the streets in celebration, performing the most superhuman stunts ever known to man, to mark this historic triumph of electoral justice.
A close friend and eyewitness explains further: "He was trying to do the triple-drift when the unfortunate incident happened."
"I'm not really sure about the whole thing. Everything just happened so fast," continued the witness. "As soon as he was informed of Okija's disqualification, he said he was going to perform a move 'never before seen,'" the witness said.
"So he set out to do a move such that he'd be blazing his bike at a speed of 940km/h while moonwalking on it at the same time. It was only unfortunate he ran into an icecream bicycle."
But after a few minutes of silence, the witness looked up and said, "It was a heroic death. He died for his country."

This is very funny.

Totally hilarious thread. I'm enjoying every bit of it

Mixed reactions trail the Eze Ndi Igbo elections.

Thisday Newspaper
December 5th Publication


The voting has commenced to elect the Eze Ndi Igbo 1 of Nairaland, in what has been discribed by international observers as the worst form of broad daylight rigging in the history of democracy. Our reporters went out and interviewed many Nigerians and observers on what they felt about the proceedings and this is what we got;

Even I am speechless. This is worse than anything I've done. - Maurice Iwu _{Former INEC Chairman.}

With I guy like PointB handling an election in my country, I shall be in power even after I die, because he can make even a dead man win. - Robert Mugabe. _{Zimbabwean President}

As a proud Igbo woman, I am ashamed to associate myself with this sort of charade. Infact this election has given me the inspiration for my new book titled "Pointb is a true SUN of a BEACH" - Chiamanda Ngozi Adichie. _{Prize winning authour of Half of a yellow Sun.}

Laugh wan kill me o!! - Olusegun Aremu Obasanjo _{Former President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria}.

Even I could have better rigged a football match result using just an Abacus. One word to describe this would be "system failure". - Bill Gates _{CEO Microsoft.}

I am not surprised. The second I heard he (PointB) was incharge, I knew that the elections would be flawed. In 2005 he was arrested for selling fake drugs in Onitsha by Mrs. Akunyili, also arrested by Tafa Balogun for importing sub-standard spare parts at Seme border. He also gave false testimony in court, gained admission into polythecnic with falsified results, was caught buying hard drugs with counterfiet money and then you give him an election to run, OFCOURSE he will provide you with fake results. - Nuhu Ribadu _{Former EFCC Chairman.}

Jesus Christ of Nazareth!! Did you say election or selection - Mahmoud Ahmedinejad _{President of the Islamic republic of Iran.}

That was not an election. It was a jamboree of frivolous decadence, masqueraded as an election with the sole purpose of enthroning a puppet whose puppeteers would manipulate, exploit, maneuver, steer and gravitate to sway, play and levitate to their malicious melody. The entire Igbo assembly should band together and expectorate the anthropomorphic hoodlums for thier midst before they teleport them back in time to the pre-jurrasic times. - Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon. _{Senator from Edo State}

Where was this guy (pointB) during the PDP Primaries?! I would have won by a landslide victory. - Atiku Abubakar _{Former Nigerian Vice President and PDP presidential primaries loser.}

Tufikwa!! Gini! What election?! that is an aluu, perpertuated by decendants of Osu's - Ohaneze Ndi Igbo spokesman.

Did I hear you say 'Eze Ndi Igbo' election?! I dont think you finished your question. Its is 'Eze ndi Egbo-smokers elections'. - Gov. Perter Obi _{Executive governor of Anambra State.}

Embarassing!! - Seun Osewa _{CEO Nairaland group}


Also, wikileaks has also released damning evidence of moneys paid to the Electoral Commisioner and also copies of invoices and reciept of the merchandises and gift items given to the electoral commisioner by some of the Candidates. The election was done by secret balloting and reports coming out of the Commisions office says that rigging was of epic proportions. A reliable source who pleaded not to be named, told our reporter this;

reliable source:
"Ifele na eme'm _{(i'm ashamed).} Maka chukwu ifu ife anya'm fu na this election, anya mmli ga gbapu gi _{(True to God, if you see what I saw in this election, you'll cry).} Ballot boxes where being thumb printed by all manner of creature. A new born baby that was there thumb printed some, when they had ran out of thumbs, they started using their toes. As if that wasnt bad enough, ma ewu, nchi, bussu, nkita, ngwere and even oke _{(they even started using goats, grasscutters, cats, dogs, lizard and even rats)} to paw-print, hoof-print and claw-print. Fa' di very desparate _{(they are desparate)}. Obu na aka ochicha bu ibu, ochicha-print aka ga di na the ballot paper _{(If the hands of the cockroach were bigger, there would also had been cockroach-print on the ballot paper as well.)}

The question on everyones lip now is "what is the hope of the Igbo people?". .

Mmuo Okija:

Mixed reactions trail the Eze Ndi Igbo elections.

Thisday Newspaper
December 5th Publication


The voting has commenced to elect the Eze Ndi Igbo 1 of Nairaland, in what has been discribed by international observers as the worst form of broad daylight rigging in the history of democracy. Our reporters went out and interviewed many Nigerians and observers on what they felt about the proceedings and this is what we got;

Even I am speechless. This is worse than anything I've done.  - Maurice Iwu _{Former INEC Chairman.}

With I guy like PointB handling an election in my country, I shall be in power even after I die, because he can make even a dead man win. - Robert Mugabe. _{Zimbabwean President}

As a proud Igbo woman, I am ashamed to associate myself with this sort of charade. Infact this election has given me the inspiration for my new book titled "Pointb is a true SUN of a BEACH" - Chiamanda Ngozi Adichie. _{Prize winning authour of Half of a yellow Sun.}

Laugh wan kill me o!! - Olusegun Aremu Obasanjo _{Former President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria}.

Even I could have better rigged a football match result using just an Abacus. One word to describe this would be "system failure". - Bill Gates _{CEO Microsoft.}

I am not surprised. The second I heard he (PointB) was incharge, I knew that the elections would be flawed. In 2005 he was arrested for selling fake drugs in Onitsha by Mrs. Akunyili, also arrested by Tafa Balogun for importing sub-standard spare parts at Seme border. He also gave false testimony in court, gained admission into polythecnic with falsified results, was caught buying hard drugs with counterfiet money and then you give him an election to run, OFCOURSE he will provide you with fake results. - Nuhu Ribadu _{Former EFCC Chairman.}

Jesus Christ of Nazareth!!  Did you say election or selection - Mahmoud Ahmedinejad _{President of the Islamic republic of Iran.}

That was not an election. It was a jamboree of frivolous decadence, masqueraded as an election with the sole purpose of enthroning a puppet whose puppeteers would manipulate, exploit, maneuver, steer and gravitate to sway, play and levitate to their malicious melody. The entire Igbo assembly should band together and expectorate the anthropomorphic hoodlums for thier midst before they teleport them back in time to the pre-jurrasic times. - Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon. _{Senator from Edo State}

Where was this guy (pointB) during the PDP Primaries?! I would have won by a landslide victory. - Atiku Abubakar _{Former Nigerian Vice President and PDP presidential primaries loser.}

Tufikwa!! Gini! What election?! that is an aluu, perpertuated by decendants of Osu's - Ohaneze Ndi Igbo spokesman.

Did I hear you say 'Eze Ndi Igbo' election?! I dont think you finished your question. Its is 'Eze ndi Egbo-smokers elections'. - Gov. Perter Obi _{Executive governor of Anambra State.}

Embarassing!! - Seun Osewa _{CEO Nairaland group}


Also, wikileaks has also released damning evidence of moneys paid to the Electoral Commisioner and also copies of invoices and reciept of the merchandises and gift items given to the electoral commisioner by some of the Candidates. The election was done by secret balloting and reports coming out of the Commisions office says that rigging was of epic proportions. A reliable source who pleaded not to be named, told our reporter this;
The question on everyones lip now is "what  is the hope of the Igbo people?". .

he he he
this is serious
LMHO

Mmuo Okija:

Mixed reactions trail the Eze Ndi Igbo elections.

Thisday Newspaper
December 5th Publication


The voting has commenced to elect the Eze Ndi Igbo 1 of Nairaland, in what has been discribed by international observers as the worst form of broad daylight rigging in the history of democracy. Our reporters went out and interviewed many Nigerians and observers on what they felt about the proceedings and this is what we got;

Even I am speechless. This is worse than anything I've done.  - Maurice Iwu _{Former INEC Chairman.}

With I guy like PointB handling an election in my country, I shall be in power even after I die, because he can make even a dead man win. - Robert Mugabe. _{Zimbabwean President}

As a proud Igbo woman, I am ashamed to associate myself with this sort of charade. Infact this election has given me the inspiration for my new book titled "Pointb is a true SUN of a BEACH" - Chiamanda Ngozi Adichie. _{Prize winning authour of Half of a yellow Sun.}

Laugh wan kill me o!! - Olusegun Aremu Obasanjo _{Former President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria}.

Even I could have better rigged a football match result using just an Abacus. One word to describe this would be "system failure". - Bill Gates _{CEO Microsoft.}

I am not surprised. The second I heard he (PointB) was incharge, I knew that the elections would be flawed. In 2005 he was arrested for selling fake drugs in Onitsha by Mrs. Akunyili, also arrested by Tafa Balogun for importing sub-standard spare parts at Seme border. He also gave false testimony in court, gained admission into polythecnic with falsified results, was caught buying hard drugs with counterfiet money and then you give him an election to run, OFCOURSE he will provide you with fake results. - Nuhu Ribadu _{Former EFCC Chairman.}

Jesus Christ of Nazareth!!  Did you say election or selection - Mahmoud Ahmedinejad _{President of the Islamic republic of Iran.}

That was not an election. It was a jamboree of frivolous decadence, masqueraded as an election with the sole purpose of enthroning a puppet whose puppeteers would manipulate, exploit, maneuver, steer and gravitate to sway, play and levitate to their malicious melody. The entire Igbo assembly should band together and expectorate the anthropomorphic hoodlums for thier midst before they teleport them back in time to the pre-jurrasic times. - Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon. _{Senator from Edo State}

Where was this guy (pointB) during the PDP Primaries?! I would have won by a landslide victory. - Atiku Abubakar _{Former Nigerian Vice President and PDP presidential primaries loser.}

Tufikwa!! Gini! What election?! that is an aluu, perpertuated by decendants of Osu's - Ohaneze Ndi Igbo spokesman.

Did I hear you say 'Eze Ndi Igbo' election?! I dont think you finished your question. Its is 'Eze ndi Egbo-smokers elections'. - Gov. Perter Obi _{Executive governor of Anambra State.}

Embarassing!! - Seun Osewa _{CEO Nairaland group}


Also, wikileaks has also released damning evidence of moneys paid to the Electoral Commisioner and also copies of invoices and reciept of the merchandises and gift items given to the electoral commisioner by some of the Candidates. The election was done by secret balloting and reports coming out of the Commisions office says that rigging was of epic proportions. A reliable source who pleaded not to be named, told our reporter this;
The question on everyones lip now is "what  is the hope of the Igbo people?". .

That was not an election. It was a jamboree of frivolous decadence, masqueraded as an election with the sole purpose of enthroning a puppet whose puppeteers would manipulate, exploit, maneuver, steer and gravitate to sway, play and levitate to their malicious melody. The entire Igbo assembly should band together and expectorate the anthropomorphic hoodlums for thier midst before they teleport them back in time to the pre-jurrasic times. - Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon.

thanx for making my day!

you are the best!!!

BRIEF STATEMENT ON THE ELECTION
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE ELECTION COMMISSIONER

The attention of the Electoral Commissioner has been drawn to publications and media campaign by disenchanted candidates, who have gone further to accuse the Commission of bias, and rigging.

The Commissioner want to make the following clarifications.

1. The Commissioner did not receive bribe (in cash, kind, women, etc) from any candidate.
2. The Commissioner did not collude with any candidate(s) to compromise the process
3. Every candidate was given equal opportunity and were treated fairly
4. Disqualification of candidate on the strength of petitions was in the best interest of the process in general, and the electorate in particular
5. The process has been largely peaceful, fair, and very transparent.
6. Minor lapses noticed was due to reason of logistic, and did not affect the integrity in any way
7. Cleared candidates are enjoined to peaceful, and honorable prepare for the election
9. Candidate who did not pass the hurdle are enjoin to don the spirit of sportsmanship, and perhaps lend their support to other candidates.
10. All candidate are enjoined to desist from libelous, inflammatory, and defamatory publications.


Thank you all.

BRIEF STATEMENT ON THE ELECTION
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE ELECTION COMMISSIONER

Based on classified intelligence report received by the commission on plots to frustrate the Eze Ndi Igbo election by holding parallel election, the Highly Independent Nairaland Electoral Commission (HINEC) has made a little modification to the election time table.

The election shall commence immediately.

Polling Center and guideline can be located here:



https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-819196.0.html#msg9707966

[b]BREAKING NEWS. . . . .Okija-Juju commences hunger strike, threatens suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In a twisted turn of events, the controversial candidate, infamously known as Okija-Juju is reportedly having a most difficult time of embracing the reality that his quest to become the Eze Ndigbo of Nairaland, ended just as vigorously as it began. Having sold all his land, quickly marrying away his last two daughters, and dipping his hands into the treasury of the Okija Development Foundation, for the purpose of funding his election. . . Chief Okija now finds himself in a most unenviable position.
   In an elaborate campaign in which no expenses were spared, he took out ads in publications such as TIME magazine and many others, and offered lucrative bribes to an army of romantic youths. The self proclaimed 'Ichie onye ego na achu oso' ran a no-expense spared campaign that would have made the Sultan of Brunei blush. However, the rather emaciated figure of Chief Okija today, as he sits in his front porch sporting a white singlet and brown shorts, as he aggressively gnaws on a chewing stick, paints a completely different picture. According to the last of his eight wives, Mgbafor, he has refused to eat or even talk, except for occasional outbursts in which he violently shruggs his shoulders, looks to the heavens, and pleads with his ancestors to mercilessly punish the architect of his downfall, Commisioner PointB.
[/b]
To be continued. . . .

This is the original and genuine thread. Not the fake one set up by that poser

Ejiné: This is the original and genuine thread. Not the fake one set up by that poser

That's true.

For the avoidance of doubt!

Epic!

" These people" no dey shame? Eze ndigbo of Nairaland? Hehehehe

Demdem:
The only igbo i respect here on nairaland is Ezianchi. i wonder where he is right now.

You got the spelling of his name wrong. He wont be mentioned.

nduchucks:
ndu_chucks gburu gburu    

Tufiakwa!

frankyychiji:
Tufiakwa!

Egbe ndi Abriba piafuka gi isi. ewu can bia

nduchucks:


Egbe ndi Abriba piafuka gi isi. ewu can bia

Back to sender! Tufiakwa! *wees on nduchuks' head* *runs out of thread *

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The Hot Party Jam “AJO OKU” is another Street, Club banger from SamBeart.
An IMO Born Rapper. Legend of all time.
This song will make you groove..
Produced by one of the best (Da voiz Tunes)

Download, listen and enjoy!

DOWNLOAD

frankyychiji:
Back to sender! Tufiakwa! *wees on nduchuks' head* *runs out of thread *

smh

I know the troubles that would have been on NL today if na a different set of people dem open this thread to ridicule but these guys know how to have fun, you can't take it from them.....

Eze ndi heeeeeeegoat yawns udo.

Point of Order!!!
Though l barely know the nominees, but am poised to ask, how can an initiator of the elusive title "Ezendi Igbo" as the case me be, appoint and make himself an Electoral Commissioner at same time? This is a breach of the 1999 Electoral acts, sub-section 12 as amended

Point of Order!!!
Though l barely know the nominees, but am poised to ask, how can an initiator of the elusive title "Ezendi Igbo" as the case me be, appoint and make himself an Electoral Commissioner at same time?. It's not only unlawful but breaches the 1999 Electoral acts as amended