Madam,being that ur marraige is about a yr old,both of u re still studying each other and if u communicate ur displeasure through anger,u may make him uncomfortable with the relationship thereby giving him more reasons to look else where.Again,some men love keeping secrets as a man and if their wives are always smart at discovering these secrets,they become extreemly uneasy and pick offences at little things.As a young ànd perhaps successful man,this phenominon is very common.Its impossible for u to begin to run after the girls asking him out or take him up for girls asking him out.
The best solution for u is to be at ur best as a wife to him and a friend so much so that he does not find reasons to keep any relationship outside his marriage.If he cannot find someone outside better than u,he will always stay with u.He loves u alraedy which is why he married u.u ve to give in ur best services as a wife and a friend to convince him that he has the best of wife and friend at home and not allow jealousy to ruin ur marriage.
I advise u to keep those things u saw off ur mind as if u ddnt see it.confronting him may do more harm to the relationship than keeping it away fr ur hrt completely.gudluck

Saddenedsoul:
Thanks

You are welcome but i have not really finished before the system sent my post..please look at the subsequent comment i sent.

Have a nice day.

[quote author=bulldoza post=46090473]
How is it your business? [/quoteHow is it my business?smh for you

uzoormah:



who open gate 4 dis one

and who closed d gate against you?smh

lady don't get paranoid just step up your game. those ladies are looking for a leverage to f^ck your man, use all the powers and paraphernalia of your office and make sure he has no excuse to oblige them, but you can use that information to your advantage without confronting him since he hasn't crossed the line yet.

the competition is out there, keep it that way.

Avalon316:


You think our problem is indiscipline? You think we love to hurt our babes,wives? Nah. You girls need to put us in your prayers. This issue no be by power.

Btw,our pockets may suffer but our d1cks see it as won battles.

Sure w will never cease in prayer for d male folk. Btw,am a woman,nt a girl.

Avalon316:


You think our problem is indiscipline? You think we love to hurt our babes,wives? Nah. You girls need to put us in your prayers. This issue no be by power.

Btw,our pockets may suffer but our d1cks see it as won battles.

Definitely,we wont stop praying for d male folk.

All what u nid 2 do is 2 put ur husband in prayer,that God should take control over him,so dat he I'll not look all does women face,dat are asking hem out, dat God should blind their eyes.

mylove4him:

Apologise for wetin? I am not sure you are married because if you are, you won't give that kind of advice. Does he apologise for going through her private part? So if he can go through there without apology why does she have to apologise for going through his chat. So chats has become privates to married couples. Nuffin where person no go see for this marriage.

I can feel your energy. Yes, they'd tell us "the two have become one" but that does not diminishes our individuality.
She need not apologise if she won't bring it up but if she's going to do so, apologising would help her.
If I read my wife's mail/sms without her consent, she deserves an apology, irrespective of the content otherwise, I'd keep quiet on whatever I found there.

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

to S'S you see...The thing here is that most times we blame women for knowingly going out with a married man irrespective of their marital status. Because if a man truly loves his wife he should be proud of her. And when I mean proud he should be able to respect her even when she's not with him. Most times I wonder if we truly ever love.because if we really do...then we won't easily fall for temptations because love blocks every form of that. Your husband might be nursing the intentions or is already in one or two women. But these are assumptions until of course you confront him.if there is one thing I know about love it is like a deep connection between two people. Only you and you alone will know if he is lying or saying the truth and trust me you'd know what to do....

Weren't you tutored by your mother b4 now? Get this into your head men are polygamous in nature and there is nothing anybody can do about it. The worse you can do is scream your head out or leave him for another yet they're all the same. A man can love u and still cheat on you, d earlier you realize ds the better for u. The only thing you can do if you want peace in your home and want to live a long life just go on your kneel keep telling it to God in prayers and watch God transform your hubby for good.

Onegai:
Confront him. Calmly. Tell him what you saw. Show him. Yes he may lie and hide it better next time but let him know that you won't sit down and accept such. Because when you give someone an inch, they will take a mile. That's human nature, to always push boundaries. Either confront him or confront the girls (if you have energy and time) by posting their chats and numbers onto facebook and tagging their families. I don't know if it's the best option but a lot of people are doing it now and it is sending girls who like to play with married man into hiding, scared that their ashewo behaviour will become public knowledge.

He's already in the wrong, he shouldn't be having conversations about meeting up and dates with anyone. When will we be honest and call a bad thing by its name? Why should a man or woman in the highest level of a committed relationships be planning meetups with anyone, without his/her partner knowing?

You can't say "let me wait and see until he does it", because he will do it and you will shed hot bitter years and everyone here who told you to keep quiet will disappear. Think I'm lying? Search for a thread where a woman saw messages on her husband's phone chatting with girls and people here told her to keep quiet, that it was just "chatting, he was innocent, leave his phone, prayerful" etc. She came later on, devastated that he went on to have a 3sum with the girls he was chatting to. And all her advisers were conveniently quiet.

U are advising her to invite problem into her life

Pamelayoung:
Weren't you tutored by your mother b4 now? Get this into your head men are polygamous in nature and there is nothing anybody can do about it. The worse you can do is scream your head out or leave him for another yet they're all the same. A man can love u and still cheat on you, d earlier you realize ds the better for u. The only thing you can do if you want peace in your home and want to live a long life just go on your kneel keep telling it to God in prayers and watch God transform your hubby for good.

what if her mother doesn't know what u are talking because her husband didn't cheat on her?

Just pretend you don't know , You can be collecting from your former boyfriend who may even be better in bed
#do me I do you
DO

U have no right to check ur husband's messages without his permission, everybody has right to his own privacy. U are doing urself no good by doing that because no matter what u tell him it can not change him from cheating on u. Pray to God to change him for better. GENESIS

byvan03:



I really don't get what people take this marriage for, if they aren't ready to be married, why marry? Those that hide phone know they are shady, so they will prefer to keep things discreet. This marriage thing no be by force oo.



,

Seriously not by force..
Hiding ur Fone from the person you are dating alone is a red flag..
Atimes I ask what's in a phone to hide self??

Amen

mylove4him:

Pay for it kwa. These men eh. May God help us

Cutehector:
if u don't want to screw ur marriage, u take dat laptop opening the whatsapp page and shove it to his face and give him a piece of ur mind tellin him if this marriage fails, he should knw he caused it. Den walk out of his presence.

I think I have a capital A with this. Could evn copy down d msgs n write down a piece of my mind at d bck. Hand it to him n say Baby, u wld luv dix wonderful poem I wrote.

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

Not until you change this your name you may always remain SAD

Until we all accept the fact that God didnt create man to sleep with just one woman..... couples will keep divorcing....

thank God my wife na bisexual.... we know how we run things....

ask abraham. isaac and jacob.... david... solo..... all of them.... even prophet Mohammed

Saddenedsoul:
I don't know if he did, but after all my telling, he just kept calm like I didn't even exist, and it drives me even crazier

He probably kept calm cuz dats d best way 2avoid issues wit u at dat moment. Whatsoever u av in mind 2do, don't push him to d wall, he might just end up doing wat u accused him for.. Be wise in ur decisions and ask God 4directions. He alone can provide u wit perfect solutions.

Naija women ehn.
When my wife sees such chat on my phone WhatsApp. Her only advice is simple, teminikan let them know you are married and please don't lead them on raising their hopes. My wife is fully competent to pick my calls so if you be snatcher then na OYO case.
My simple point; doing sth crazy will make you look crazy even when you have proofs. The best way is sitting him down and asking jokingly who those olosho be & why dem dey disturb your Behind & handsome bobo. U go gaga den u will understand why they say men get ego.

Benignasweety:
I think I have a capital A with this. Could evn copy down d msgs n write down a piece of my mind at d bck. Hand it to him n say Baby, u wld luv dix wonderful poem I wrote.

Guess you have never met d crazy husband snatchers before. U never see where olosho dey bet say I go destroy that guy home without knowing him personally before? Send erotic chats, calls d wife & do enough damage to separate them. D only fault of d guy here is if he leads the so called ladies on with hope of something called love but if he makes it clear yet they persist then the wife needs to communicate with the husband and they solve it together

Saddenedsoul:

We dated all through Uni (4 yrs) + 2 yrs after that .... he was a nerdy nice guy... good grades and all...

okay well its like all those years in his early 20s he didn't taste now that you cleaned him up they are chasing him. Just hang in there he is just going through a phase Dear.

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

suck his dk and remind him he's your one and only

4 things to do:
I have read your msg and I want to offer u my own piece of advise from biblical point of view and as an experienced and a married person myself.
pls note d following:
# The Lord said follow peace with all men without which no man shall see d Lord. Confrontation is not d first step in conflict resolution. The man is being tempted and we face this everyday. It's d fear of the Lord that keeps us from falling.
# The Lord hates putting away. That means divorce is not an option for u right now. It has not graduated to dt.
# Wife submit yourself to your husband in all things.
# They were both NAKED and they were not ashamed. Naked here does not mean unclad. It means openess, having someone in confidence, hold ur partner's secret etc
4 Things to do are:
1). Prayer: Pray for him first. Talk to God about d situation and let Holy Spirit guides on the best time to discuss.
2): Discuss or dialogue: This is your hubby and u must observe d rules never to disrespect him. Approach him praising him , tell him is d best man in d whole world and tell him about his good sides not his weaknesses. Tell him about ur love for him and your dream for d marriage. Do u know starting like dt u ve stirred up a reaction inside and created a good atmosphere for him to disclose everything dt happened.

3) Consultation: This one will come him if d above did not work. It means u can not handle it again then u have to invite third party like your pastor, his closed friends and trusted family members.

4) Confrontation. This is d last one. It works when d above three aren't working. Whatever u can not confront u can never conquer. I don't pray u will get to ds level.
A wise woman will build her own home but d foolish one will scatter it!
Marriage is a journey and a school of life. We learn and grow everyday.
U will succeed in your marriage in Jesus name. Apply maturity in everything. Stop nagging and stop insulting him. Don't give devil a chance! All d best. 08057995143.

I have.

THE WOMAN:
As a woman, you are many things to your husband and as a man, there are 8 things you should be to your wife.
Don’t marry a man because of what he drives but what drives him
Seduce your husband. Don’t always allow your husband to ask for sex. As a woman your under wear should match
You must be a different woman to your husband every time. Be creative. Don’t be predictable. Give him what he wants.
Everyone woman has an influence. If you lose influence over your husband you have lost womanhood
You must learn to synchronize with your husband. Be part of his plans
Don’t have too many children. Sex is not all about making children. Dress to please your husband
Don’t fix time to have sex with your husband.When a man is sexually satisfied he is emotionally stable
As a woman you should invest in yourself spiritually so you can adequately support him. Build yourself as a prayer warrior so that you will not be forced to pray at the end of your life.
I agree with almost all but why must my husband provide for all my needs? Is he a money making machine?
Secondly, why cant I provide for my husband, afterall, iron sharpens iron, they say, if he can buy me something, I should be able to reciprocate, isn’t that romantic?
As a woman you are a helper!
The one who you are helping must be stronger than you! Once you are married, you are somebody’s helper and the helper is meant to have what the person’s need! As a wife, you are meant to surround your husband! Women are natural keepers; men take care of your wives so your life can be long! The woman is your helper. Treasure your wife, let her feel important!! Let your wife know that she is important. Women, you are your husband’s helper, stop looking helter skelter! You are there to help him and God will reward you.
As a woman, you are a builder!!
Proverbs 14:1- A wise woman buildeth her home! We need wisdom to build. You must know when to speak, when to keep quiet, when to comfort, when to build!
As a woman you are a servant!
Titus 2:4-5- These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
You are a cook, cleaner, laundry woman and nanny!
When last did you love him and lay his head on your chest? When last did you run up behind him and kiss him?
Once a bride, always a bride!! Stop calling him daddy or papa Joseph!! He is your husband! You are a servant, not a slave
12- You are an intercessor!
Prayer cover him, satan proof him, Delilah proof your husband! If God has blessed you with a husband, pray for him. The praying woman is a winning woman; at certain times, just pray for your husband!! No matter how happy you are in your marriage, never stop praying for your husband! In case you don’t know, some people are not happy that you are happy? That husband you think is useless, some people are queuing to marry him. Take care of your home; no matter where you go, come back to your home!
13- As a woman, you are a lover!
Some women forget that you are a lover! Every man is attracted by what he sees, while a woman is attracted by what she hears. That is how we are wired! If you are an old bride beside your husband, you will push him to a Delilah! The male species like variety, even Christian men can be tempted! Therefore, you must be many things to your husband! Become unpredictable in marriage! Wear your hair differently, dress differently!
You should have two types of nightwear, the general ones and the ones only your husband can see you in; you know what I mean. Look lovely for your husband; remind him of what he has. Make the room you share have a wonderful ambience!
Touch your husband! A woman needs 13 meaningful touches a day! Remain romantic! Don’t be an old ugly bride around your husband; walk hard to retain your shape! You must be romantic and spontaneous! Befriend your husband, if you don’t befriend him, you will wake up one day and find a huge emotional gap! Don’t let your ministry or career cause a rift between you
14- As a woman you are a covering!
Look at Genesis 21:9-10
What a man can’t see, a woman can see! So, as a man learn to listen to your woman! Be careful when your wife warns you about a particular business or a friendship or woman, listen to her and try to understand her! Don’t tell your wife to shut up. As a woman, protect your husband, defend him!
15- You are a keeper, an assignment!
For example, he gives you sperm; you keep it, deliver a child and nurture that child! He tells you his vision, you keep it in mind and help nurture and bring it to pass.
May the lord give us Good understanding amen

Sorry to say this but you have entered one chance marriage. You should have done your FBI work before tying the knot. Men like that hardly change. You should confront him though cos that is the only way you'll have a chance at fixing the situation. Let him know how you feel.

byvan03:
Lack of communication is the surest way to ruin any marriage. Sit your husband down and communicate. Learn how to discuss your fears because you can only mess things up with your new unfriendly disposition. Go have a chat with your man.

And please, dont do it in an "aggressive, today-na-die" tone.

men generally dont like being cornered, which is exactly what you have done .....and rightly so!

If l were you, l will say it with a smile on my face (he knows you are fuming),.... but he will respect you going forward, for not trying to rub it in.

Tell him, its not worth it and if there are areas he wants improvement in the marriage, he should feel free to air them.

Finally, ask him to show and prove to you that he will and is, discharging those "Olosho women" ina very unfriendly manner.

Sit down together and reply them on Whatsupp!
Like: Sorry dear, l am married and my wife is reading all your advances, Let me give it to her to respond to you.

Wife writes: Phuck-off or else, you may loose your front teeth next time l catch you trying to sneak-up to my husband!

Make a joke out of it, be on the look-out but please dont nag or react about it unnecessarily. It will further drive him into the hands of these "dangerous women" who cant find husband of their own but like to snatch that of others.

Women seff! Wetin, leave the man alone and stop tempting him naw?




Lastpage!

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

MADAM, Talk well abeg. I hate it when wives and girlfriends do what you are doing. You mean your husband would just sit on his own and women would just come and start asking him out.
it didn't stop there, they go as far as planning dates and meet up venues.
is your husband Michael Jackson? Even if he is, no woman would go after a man if the man didn't encourage or lure her. How much more "women".

You are the type that would catch your husband naked with another woman, attack the woman and pronounce your husband as a victim.

No one said you shouldn't support your husband. but do so in fairness to others.
I wish to get married to a stupid person like you, make I just dey shaaag on top your head everyday and night.