SUB-TOPIC
7 Unreal Factors That Can Cause Delay In Marriage, Especially With Ladies (Even In This Recession)


I stumbled upon a thread by one young 'lad'-y who emphatically professed how she was gonna cheat on his hubby for looking chubby. Wow!
I ran into another where some guys were giving lectures as to what they desire in their wife-to-be.

Even the marriages in my church has reduced sef. Marriage counselling hasn't stopped counselling because the cash isn't really there; Trad Wedd: Jan. 24th, White Wedd tentative date: May 11th, Haba!

As Solomon, I looked carefully and I observed keenly, the problem is rather internal than external. Things have changed and our singles aren't aware! At a Certain Age, your REQUIREMENT LIST of the spouse you want has to be cut down else you'll be deluding yourself.
Once a met a lady 30+, who said, "I really think some things I expect from my future hubby are non-existent, to be sincere. I must accept that."

Below are 7 of them- As a guy, this Epistle will go to the ladies. Ladies write ya own :

---

1. He must be 6 feet tall.

God made some short and others tall. What does it have to do with whom you settle down with? Short lady, you can marry a short guy and give birth to tall kids. Who height even epp? Stop forming nonsense, if he truly loves and you sense it, accept and start something concrete. Don't mind your friend's advice o. You are leaving them behind. Once you are sure of the veracity of his love/affection, be focused.

2. He must be earning at least 100,000k.

Some ladies here will deny they don't care but check their hearts. Well, do I read the writing on the wall? Directly or...recession is prevalent here. How much is the least? Can't say. If you TRULY love him, you don't need my sermon to put up until he gets a breakthrough- bigger or a fresh job. I have seen couples marry small but are financial giants today. Stop "Alhajirising"! Kamar is a bitch! Nemisis is a niggur! You too, work. Build your home together. A controversial point, I guess.

3. Childishness/Immaturity.

Okay, your friends dictate how you respond to your bf. Should you be telling them in the first place? Angelina Jolie breaks up and you too take turn. Drama!!! You love him and the only way to show it is by being rude? Seriously?

4. Pride

See them saying, "Babe, some guys are so funny. Lols. They think it's everyone that's into this marriage thingy..." But, she has been in three different relationships since January. I heard one saying, 'I'm my own boss.' I hear you! Be open about it on time before you start praying, "Man na man- God, gimmie any one."


5. His Family Background

Is this important? Yes. But, it's not urgent. I mean, time would change your mind if you succumb to the power of 'destiny' and 'love'. Some say, "Ladies from OUR PLACE don't marry from THEIR PLACE o...". Is there any other definition of Ignorance than this? Don't let no MYTH, PAST Belief System or even your own parents stop you from following the one you love even if it's against you Village People's custom. Are you a village girl?

6. His Current Location.

She visits you just to take a look at your residence. If it's not up to par, she leaves you. A wife-material never does that. When ladies wants to visit, the reasons aren't many... Maybe he's still in his father's house for now, she judges him by that and chooses to celebrate her 28th birthday as a very single lady. Have you found out why? He may have plans. Don't allow comparison kill your ability to reason well. Love is sweet when it grows from little to great. Join him and build your desired home together. Guys become more responsible when a woman, good woman is in the house.


7. His Physique, Appearance, Spoken English...

All these things can be worked on. If you marry because he has abs today, what if he doesn't have tomorrow? Will you cheat on him? The Sugar Daddies some undergraduates date; they don't check their tummies o. Is marriage now mechanical? If you need some 'watering' like money, fame, looks etc, to keep loving him? Nne, you married the wrong person. His looks is inconsequential for the consummation of a happy marriage. Ask Hollywood Superstars! Is your dad still so handsome? Is your mum cheating? He speaks one-legged English, how does that concern choosing a life partner?

The essence of this is to rent in two from the minds of most 21st Century ladies that Marriage is bigger than sex, money, fame, physique (good looks), power, anointing, academic intelligence etc. So therefore, none of 'em is strong enough to keep it going strong. Love, Agape love is the only degree that the Institution of Marriage endorses and respects. Stop looking at the wrong direction to get the right result; only self- deluded folks do that. You know where to look. The ordinary places: around you. Don't judge a book by its cover. Give people a chance. Give guys a chance.
Project GiveGuysAChance.

Good morning!

Haha !Good read n Good morning even tho its the same old sh1t lol

,

Very funny excuses...no 6 baffled me, when I once told a female friend my friend likes her, next thing I would hear is where is he from, because I can't marry some igbo guys from a particular town....she hails from delta, later she kept asking me about the guy, I just answered her that the guy too is scared of delta gals...after she had seen and liked the guys pix and telling her a lot about him.
Many gals are single today all because of these excuses

Iamhatey:
and the list continues


Time to stop all this lists and be yourself and mind you Op, marriage is not for everybody



Don't quote me

Marriage is a very delicate enterprise. It's not something people should rush into, and it's surely not something that is compulsory, like your post is suggesting. I am of the opinion that if someone should enter an institutionalized agreement that essentially involves spending the rest of her life with just one person, then that one person should be someone who meets her standards. Everyone has standards, and these standards shouldn't be circumscribed by opinions of "relationship article writers" who think they have all the answers.

emusmithy:

can't you read

Don't quote me
Simple english

Iamhatey:
can't you read

Don't quote me
Simple english

I don't comprehend simple English; Complicated ones,

Xensity:
Marriage is a very delicate enterprise. It's not something people should rush into, and it's surely not something that is compulsory, like your post is suggesting. I am of the opinion that if someone should enter an institutionalize agreement that essentially involves spending the rest of her life with just one person, then that one person should be someone who meets her standards. Everyone has standards, and these standards shouldn't be circumscribed by opinions of "relationship article writers" who think they have all the answers.

Nice point!

I didn't literally or literary state we all don't have standards. My point is; Even what you think is your standard could be flawed and imperfect, for obvious reasons.
Look beyond the 'temporary' facade, of course, and lay hold on what is permanent. That's the crux.

emusmithy:

Nice point!

I didn't literally or literary state we all don't have standards. My point is; Even what you think is your standard could be flawed and imperfect, for obvious reasons.
Look beyond the 'temporary' facade, of course, and lay hold on what is permanent. That's the crux.

@bolded, what is this thing that is permanent?

How can a standard turn out to be flawed and imperfect? Say a standard a woman sets for herself is to get married to a man who is more intelligent than she is. If she actually does get married to this man, how can it turn out "flawed?" And what are the chances that being pressured into getting married to someone who is less intelligent than she is, wouldn't turn out more "flawed and imperfect?"

I think threads like this are sort of platitudinous. It's premise is the prevailing mantra in our Nigerian society- That Ladies should look past so called superficialities and high standards they set for themselves and give other men a chance, blah blah blah. Every girl has heard this sort of advice.

Propositions like this aren't entirely bad, but they are predicated on shallow perceptions of relationships, that aren't thoroughly pondered. Too much importance is placed on running against the aging clock, and getting married early, which places too much pressure on the individual, which invariably leads to making wrong choices, while less importance is placed on what the individual wants and how settling for less would affect the relationship in the long run.

Xensity:


@bolded, what is this thing that is permanent?

How can a standard turn out to be flawed and imperfect? Say a standard a woman sets for herself is to get married to a man who is more intelligent than she is. If she actually does get married to this man, how can it turn out "flawed?" And what are the chances that being pressured into getting married to someone who is less intelligent than she is, wouldn't turn out more "flawed and imperfect?"

I think threads like this are sort of platitudinous. It's premise is the prevailing mantra in our Nigerian society- That Ladies should look past so called superficialities and high standards they set for themselves and give other men a chance, blah blah blah. Every girl has heard this sort of advice.

Propositions like this aren't entirely bad, but they are predicated on shallow perceptions of relationships, that aren't thoroughly pondered. Too much importance is placed on running against the aging clock, and getting married early, which places too much pressure on the individual, which invariably leads to making wrong choices, while less importance is placed on what the individual wants and how settling for less would affect the relationship in the long run.

My perspective is as lovely as yours. #even

emusmithy:

I don't comprehend simple English; Complicated ones,

goan meet wole Soyinka

Nice from emusmith.

Iamhatey:
goan meet wole Soyinka

Lols: I want you to be my Soyinka

firstking01:
Nice from emusmith.

Thanks bro. Been reading your posts once in a while. They're inspiring!
Keep this forum alive.

emusmithy:
Thanks bro. Been reading your posts once in a while. They're inspiring!
Keep this forum alive.

Thankia bruv....But you scarce o, na the recession??

emusmithy:

Lols: I want you to be my Soyinka

I'm another guy's Soyinka already

Move front small

Iamhatey:
I'm another guy's Soyinka already

Move front small

Lols...I like your sense of humour. It's contagious.

firstking01:
Thankia bruv....But you scarce o, na the recession??

No, just entangled with some projects.

mk i book space first

emusmithy:
No, just entangled with some projects.

I can relate boss

emusmithy:


Lols...I like your sense of humour. It's contagious.

modified
God made some ladies short, some ladies short, some fair some others black, some curvy, some like ply woods, some beautiful some ugly, some wth boobs and ass, some flat all sides

if u really love her dont look at her looks pls, thrs more to rship/marriage than mere boobs and ass, tall, fair. every woman is beautiful in her own way, choose character first, then looks

dont dump a good lady cos shes not from a rich home or is not a grad, because she cant dress well or speak. u can assist her be wat she wanna be in life

One should make list of what they want in suitors, but be flexible and willing to hold loosely to the list--

I have my "lists of non-negotiable", "deal breakers" and I will not settle for less. If it means remaining single, then so be it. Point blank.

Iamhatey:

lols

Xiadnat:
One should make list of what they want in suitors, but be flexible and willing to hold loosely to the list--

I have my "lists of non-negotiable", "deal breakers" and I will not settle for less. If it means remaining single, then so be it. Point blank.

I like your spirit! Xiadnat!

VibrationsZ:
modified
God made some ladies short, some ladies short, some fair some others black, some curvy, some like ply woods, some beautiful some ugly, some wth boobs and ass, some flat all sides

if u really love her dont look at her looks pls, thrs more to rship/marriage than mere boobs and ass, tall, fair. every woman is beautiful in her own way, choose character first, then looks

dont dump a good lady cos shes not from a rich home or is not a grad, because she cant dress well or speak. u can assist her be wat she wanna be in life

You're right bro. It's both ways.

emusmithy:
I like your spirit! Xiadnat!

. Thank you, sir. Likewise. I get that comment a lot actually --- offline and in person.

Thats very discerning of you to pick that up online.

Kudos.

Ps: long time no hear, how is life/work?

No worry, when she reach 35 she will understand. Asi na ikar nka ihota ije

Xiadnat:


. Thank you, sir. Likewise. I get that comment a lot actually --- offline and in person.

Thats very discerning of you to pick that up online.

Kudos.

Ps: long time no hear, how is life/work?

Fine dear. You dis appeared na. Dunno what crime I committed.

emusmithy:
Fine dear. You dis appeared na. Dunno what crime I committed.

Heheheh!!! No crime. I just have this aversion to social media like bbm, whatsomething, facebook blah blah. I am only on linkedIn for professional associations.

Forgive me! I am working on my social media shortcomings. Email me if you want to catch up.

Lol.