I prefer my dad to my mum.

iRepNaija1:


First, paying for the bills and expenses [b]does not [/b]equate to an emotional and quality relationship with your children. When kids are young, they don't notice who pays the bills or whatever, they notice who feeds them, who plays with them, who gets them dressed in the mornings, who reads to them, who attends their school functions. (And to add, a father shouldn't be handling all the bills by himself. These gender roles in Nigeria, for men and women, need to go).

Second, there are plenty of absentee fathers in Nigeria who don't necessarily walk out but are barely involved in their children's lives.

Third, a child will love which parent they want and how they go about it.

You are so wrong! Yes when kids are young they don't notice things such as financials and security but as they get older especially through college they start to realize what life is all about. They start to feel the need for a male role figure, the role of a father can never be underestimated! Any kid that loves one parent more than the other is still naive and thus still a kid; as they get older they tend to realize the importance of both parents in their life with the caveat that none of the parents treated them badly.

Saintmary:


Too bad I can't reveal everything on social media. Currently, in Nigeria, many mothers are the financial backbone of the family. The fathers are, as you said, the male role figures. They are trying, but many mothers are wiser with money, thereby, not as affected by the recession as are many fathers.

Yes many mothers are becoming the bread winner of their family but when you look at the overall picture you would see that males especially the ones in Africa still represents the sole or partial financial sponsor of their families. In the olden days it was 99% to 1% but nowadays it's like 70% to 30% due to irresponsible males, frustrated males and spiritually cursed males. But let's not get off topic, the main point should be kids should not feel obligated to love one parent over the other, it is just plain wrong!

Seahawk:

On the internet only. In real life many Nigerian women cater for their families.
Can't sow grapes and reap corn

You are absolutely right but when we talk about in general, it is still a ratio of 70% to 30%, with males representing the larger ratio.

Bobugee:




What exactly is this trying to say? I hate seeing this kind of write up.

Hony wot is it u dnt undastnd? Simply tell me n I will explain or rada bring it down 2 ur level or undastndn.

10q u!

abbey621:


You are so wrong! Yes when kids are young they don't notice things such as financials and security but as they get older especially through college they start to realize what life is all about. They start to feel the need for a male role figure, the role of a father can never be underestimated! Any kid that loves one parent more than the other is still naive and thus still a kid; as they get older they tend to realize the importance of both parents in their life with the caveat that none of the parents treated them badly.

See? That's your problem right there. You're equating a male influence with financial security, as if it's impossible for a woman to provide that. It's 2017. Husbands are not the only ones paying for everything, and they shouldn't be, despite what you may think. No one is talking about underestimating the father. You're deflecting by saying that. My point is that a husband/father paying for everything does not matter to children as much as you think it should. Children need more than just someone who is there to pay the bills. And if that's the only role he can provide, what if he's out of work? Lazy? Unemployed? A father needs to be more than just a financial provider. Every family is different. Making a statement that children should love their parents equally is narrow-minded.

iRepNaija1:



See? That's your problem right there. You're equating a male influence with financial security, as if it's impossible for a woman to provide that. It's 2017. Husbands are not the only ones paying for everything, and they shouldn't be, despite what you may think. No one is talking about underestimating the father. You're deflecting by saying that. My point is that a husband/father paying for everything does not matter to children as much as you think it should. Children need more than just someone who is there to pay the bills. And if that's the only role he can provide, what if he's out of work? Lazy? Unemployed? A father needs to be more than just a financial provider. Every family is different. Making a statement that children should love their parents equally is narrow-minded.

I don't get? Teaching your children to love both parents is narrow minded? No one is saying a woman cannot be the financial provider, all I'm pointing out here is that the financial provider role is still predominantly a man's role when you look at it globally. This could be incidental or just natural but it's just the way it is. A good parent does not play favoritism, it causes so much problem as I have seen first hand here in the USA. Teach your children the value of your spouse, when trained right, they will surely respect the financial/physical needs as much as the emotional needs. In an ideal home both parents would fulfill both roles but life isn't cup a tea, sh*t happens and it is the job of parents to teach family values not play heroes and villains.

CHOPUP411:
Because most of us suck breast

I beg like for mothers and share for fathers

Bro this is fantastic and I don nack my own "like a share". However, for me I don't even know who to place first.

This might be hard to believe as most people have soft spot for dere mumsi more, but my papa Na great am abeg. The man Na sacrificer. #unbelieveable man! Even as adults, where we need help him still dey support fire.

Him dey follow my mama drag o, big time

abbey621:


I don't get? Teaching your children to love both parents is narrow minded? No one is saying a woman cannot be the financial provider, all I'm pointing out here is that the financial provider role is still predominantly a man's role when you look at it globally. This could be incidental or just natural but it's just the way it is. A good parent does not play favoritism, it causes so much problem as I have seen first hand here in the USA. Teach your children the value of your spouse, when trained right, they will surely respect the financial/physical needs as much as the emotional needs. In an ideal home both parents would fulfill both roles but life isn't cup a tea, sh*t happens and it is the job of parents to teach family values not play heroes and villains.

No parent is going to sit down and tell their children to love each parent equally. Did your parents do that? Because mine certainly didn't. You cannot make a person love another person, even if that person is a parent. If you find out a child does not love their parent, are you going to make them do it? And just to be clear, love is not the same thing as respecting a parent or liking a parent.

I'm not going to take your word for it about whether men are the primary financial providers around the world without statistics. And I'm not talking about the US, I'm talking about Nigeria.

The topic of this thread and my point is not a parent playing favorites with their children or how they should train those children "in loving" those parents. It's about which parent the child is close to and why. I explained that point already. If you're so worried about making sure the father is loved and appreciated as much as the mother, then maybe some fathers should stop expecting their children to notice when they pay the bills and actually be present and involved with their children. I promise you, when those parents are long gone, that child isn't going to be reminiscing about which parent paid the bills but that parent who was there for them for emotional support, guidance, and encouragement.

iRepNaija1:


No parent is going to sit down and tell their children to love each parent equally. Did your parents do that? Because mine certainly didn't. You cannot make a person love another person, even if that person is a parent. If you find out a child does not love their parent, are you going to make them do it? And just to be clear, love is not the same thing as respecting a parent or liking a parent.

I'm not going to take your word for it about whether men are the primary financial providers around the world without statistics. And I'm not talking about the US, I'm talking about Nigeria.

The topic of this thread and my point is not a parent playing favorites with their children or how they should train those children "in loving" those parents. It's about which parent the child is close to and why. I explained that point already. If you're so worried about making sure the father is loved and appreciated as much as the mother, then maybe some fathers should stop expecting their children to notice when they pay the bills and actually be present and involved with their children. I promise you, when those parents are long gone, that child isn't going to be reminiscing about which parent paid the bills but that parent who was there for them for emotional support, guidance, and encouragement.

I can't help but laugh, if you ever think a man could be as emotionally present as a woman. Reason women develop those bonds is because they are the ones primarily at home and yes we are talking about Nigeria but no there is no need for statistics because it is just too plain to see! I can see you have no child of your own and most likely you had some daddy issues while growing up; if not you would realize that in a house where tomato paste and dried peppers are used to cook everyday, the children would complain but take away the food and leave them with just garri and they start longing for the tomato paste and dried pepper stew. A father's job is to be a good role model, provide for his family and keep them safe, he is not in competition with his wife for the affection of their kids hence the reason why I said both parents should not create an atmosphere where they have to compete for the love of their children but teach those children to love and appreciate the life they have. To cut the long story short, the reasons you gave for loving your mom more than your dad are valid but naive, as a child you could get away with that type of thinking but when you become all grown up and start experiencing life,such thinking belongs in the zoo...No need for argument here, this is just my opinion, your opinion clearly differs so let's leave it at that!

abbey621:



I can't help but laugh, if you ever think a man could be as emotionally present as a woman. Reason women develop those bonds is because they are the ones primarily at home and yes we are talking about Nigeria but no there is no need for statistics because it is just too plain to see! I can see you have no child of your own and most likely you had some daddy issues while growing up; if not you would realize that in a house where tomato paste and dried peppers are used to cook everyday, the children would complain but take away the food and leave them with just garri and they start longing for the tomato paste and dried pepper stew. A father's job is to be a good role model, provide for his family and keep them safe, he is not in competition with his wife for the affection of their kids hence the reason why I said both parents should not create an atmosphere where they have to compete for the love of their children but teach those children to love and appreciate the life they have. To cut the long story short, the reasons you gave for loving your mom more than your dad are valid but naive, as a child you could get away with that type of thinking but when you become all grown up and start experiencing life,such thinking belongs in the zoo...No need for argument here, this is just my opinion, your opinion clearly differs so let's leave it at that!

Which century do you even live in? You are just repeating yourself over and over again and yes there are a loooot of dads who are more emotionally present than their wives

lovelygurl:



Which century do you even live in? You are just repeating yourself over and over again and yes there are a loooot of dads who are more emotionally present than their wives

Show me the statistics or show me your source, if you are just going by your opinion then there's no need to even argue with you!

abbey621:


Show me the statistics or show me your source, if you are just going by your opinion then there's no need to even argue with you!

Aren't you the 1 that has been jumping up and down trying to prove your point? Where are YOUR statistics? That's why I asked which century do you live in! Are you telling me that wives do not work too? Your excuse is absolutely ridiculous! More and more dads are getting emotionally attached to their kids which we see EVERYDAY. It's getting to be the norm. You wouldn't be surprised if you see kids prefer their dads to their mums and noooope not because they go to work and bring money home (because their mothers do too). The best thing you can get if you are or want to be that kind of father is RESPECT NOT LOVE! Love for what? You are just their sperm donor and money bringer loooool

lovelygurl:


Aren't you the 1 that has been jumping up and down trying to prove your point? Where are YOUR statistics? That's why I asked which century do you live in! Are you telling me that wives do not work too? Your excuse is absolutely ridiculous! More and more dads are getting emotionally attached to their kids which we see EVERYDAY. It's getting to be the norm. You wouldn't be surprised if you see kids prefer their dads to their mums and noooope not because they go to work and bring money home (because their mothers do too). The best thing you can get if you are or want to be that kind of father is RESPECT NOT LOVE! Love for what? You are just their sperm donor and money bringer loooool

I'm not going to argue with you, if you say more and more dads are emotionally invested as women towards their kids, it still does not mean majority of dads are not less emotional when compared to mothers, unless you have statistics to back it up, the norm still remains the norm. At least admit to that and stop this bickering! I never said wives do not work, I just said when compared overall to their husbands. You do understand I'm talking about the global picture not just a few examples right? Unless something has changed in world dynamics, male are still predominantly the financial provider in the family, women can and should assist but it will never be compulsory regardless of how westernized the world becomes!

abbey621:


I'm not going to argue with you, if you say more and more dads are emotionally invested as women towards their kids, it still does not mean majority of dads are not less emotional when compared to mothers, unless you have statistics to back it up, the norm still remains the norm. At least admit to that and stop this bickering! I never said wives do not work, I just said when compared overall to their husbands. You do understand I'm talking about the global picture not just a few examples right? Unless something has changed in world dynamics, male are still predominantly the financial provider in the family, women can and should assist but it will never be compulsory regardless of how westernized the world becomes!

Oh please tell that to an European man he'll laugh right back at your face because it's = to rubbish




No such thing as global picture because they way you see things doesn't mean everybody does


Also with your mentality you have already failed as a FATHER all you are to them is a bank nothing else. How pathetic

lovelygurl:



Oh please tell that to an European man he'll laugh right back at your face because it's = to rubbish




No such thing as global picture because they way you see things doesn't mean everybody does


Also with your mentality you have already failed as a FATHER all you are to them is a bank nothing else. How pathetic

I'm sorry I've always been the science field so I believe more in facts and statistics than opinions. It is the opinion of U.S and Europeans citizens that women and men contribute equally financially but considering most of the populated countries such as China, India, Indonesia, Japan have a male dominated workforce, I think your argument is null and void! My mentality has served me well because while growing up I saw first hand grown men and women crying because they never had a father to offer financial, physical or moral support so I beg to differ that a man that does his best to provide for his family doesn't deserve to be loved as much as the woman who is always home with the kids. This is my opinion and you have yours but to think my mentality makes me a bad father shows you know nothing about parenting!

abbey621:


I'm sorry I've always been the science field so I believe more in facts and statistics than opinions. It is the opinion of U.S and Europeans citizens that women and men contribute equally financially but considering most of the populated countries such as China, India, Indonesia, Japan have a male dominated workforce, I think your argument is null and void! My mentality has served me well because while growing up I saw first hand grown men and women crying because they never had a father to offer financial, physical or moral support so I beg to differ that a man that does his best to provide for his family doesn't deserve to be loved as much as the woman who is always home with the kids. This is my opinion and you have yours but to think my mentality makes me a bad father shows you know nothing about parenting!

I want YOU to bring up YOUR statistics first b4 I go researching the OBVIOUS for you. Who got the time for that. Already told you to bring up yours first and I'must not going to repeat myself like jeez do you have problems with comprehending sentences

Besides nope it does not mean you are a bad father. It means you are NOT a father but a sperm donor

And a bank of course

Oh and the countries you are naming. We see how well they are doing financially, don't we?

[quote author=lovelygurl post=53395522]


I want YOU to bring up YOUR statistics first b4 I go researching the OBVIOUS for you. Who got the time for that. Already told you to bring up yours first and I'must not going to repeat myself like jeez do you have problems with comprehending sentences

Besides nope it does not mean you are a bad father. It means you are NOT a father but a sperm donor

And a bank of course

Oh and the countries you are naming. We see how well they are doing financially, don't we?[/quote]

I can see you have nothing to offer just trying to make conversation for conversation sake, sorry I've got better things to do but Google is your friend but I'm kind so I've also included a link below....happy education!

http://www.gallup.com/poll/178637/worldwide-men-women-full-time-work.aspx

P.S: In case you can't read or comprehend, I've also taken out an excerpt:

Across all global regions, women's deficit in the good jobs market remains largest in South Asia and the Middle East and North Africa (MENA), where their P2P rates lag behind men's by more than 20 percentage points. But is important to note that women in these two regions are also the least likely in the world to be in the workforce. Roughly three in four women in each region are out of the workforce, many choosing not to participate for cultural or political reasons.

[quote author=abbey621 post=53395932][/quote]

Yh I can see where you are coming from

MIDDLE EAST AND SOUTH ASIAN!!!

Of course! Very clever searching 'globally' because those poor countries will push the numbers up uhn Just like you want them.

Only 50 per cent of women of working age are in the labour force, compared to 77 per cent of men. The gender gap in labour force participation remains especially large in Northern Africa, Western Asia and Southern Asia.

However, women and men aged 15 to 24 years have experienced a decline in participation, which is likely linked to expanding educational opportunities at the secondary and tertiary levels.


Of course those countries will push the number of men working more up because most of their females are UNEDUCATED Mr. That's why I said' poor countries uhn' in my last post

Besides like you said, 'I never said women aren't working too'

The statistics I was expecting was 'Being a bank and sperm donor leads to kids being more emotionally attached to their dads'

If your excuse is that the dads work MORE then your excuse is absolutely ridiculous since women work too (except your wife is UNEDUCATED and doesn't have a full time job like you were trying to prove with your 'statistics' ), doesn't change the fact that you wouldn't be a father to your kids but a bank and sperm donor!

http://unstats.un.org/unsd/gender/chapter4/chapter4.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uni87uWtG1E

The Mystery of Creation here:

https://gullahgeecheeworldtradeunion..com/2016/12/primordial-beginnings-when-things-fall.html

lovelygurl:


Yh I can see where you are coming from

MIDDLE EAST AND SOUTH ASIAN!!!

Of course! Very clever searching 'globally' because those poor countries will push the numbers up uhn Just like you want them.

Only 50 per cent of women of working age are in the labour force, compared to 77 per cent of men. The gender gap in labour force participation remains especially large in Northern Africa, Western Asia and Southern Asia.

However, women and men aged 15 to 24 years have experienced a decline in participation, which is likely linked to expanding educational opportunities at the secondary and tertiary levels.


Of course those countries will push the number of men working more up because most of their females are UNEDUCATED Mr. That's why I said' poor countries uhn' in my last post

Besides like you said, 'I never said women aren't working too'

The statistics I was expecting was 'Being a bank and sperm donor leads to kids being more emotionally attached to their dads'

If your excuse is that the dads work MORE then your excuse is absolutely ridiculous since women work too (except your wife is UNEDUCATED and doesn't have a full time job like you were trying to prove with your 'statistics' ), doesn't change the fact that you wouldn't be a father to your kids but a bank and sperm donor!

http://unstats.un.org/unsd/gender/chapter4/chapter4.html

Ok glad we got that out of the way, so we are in agreement that globally more men provide for their family? The statistics I was expecting was 'Being a bank and sperm donor leads to kids being more emotionally attached to their dads'? I'm sorry but that was never my argument, I'll repeat it again just in case you chose to ignore it. Women and men have roles, traditionally the woman is more at home with the kids while the man is the provider. Both are equally important and any kid that thinks one is more vital than the other is still naive. This is my argument and it was in response to someone that claimed he loves his mom more because she went through childbirth and took care of him after. Any other arguments you might wish to make is none of my business, call it whatever you may but kids sooner or later realize the value of both parents either financially or emotionally they all miss their mom or dad when they are gone either as a kid or as an adult....peace!

abbey621:


Ok glad we got that out of the way, so we are in agreement that globally more men provide for their family? The statistics I was expecting was 'Being a bank and sperm donor leads to kids being more emotionally attached to their dads'? I'm sorry but that was never my argument, I'll repeat it again just in case you chose to ignore it. Women and men have roles, traditionally the woman is more at home with the kids while the man is the provider. Both are equally important and any kid that thinks one is more vital than the other is still naive. This is my argument and it was in response to someone that claimed he loves his mom more because she went through childbirth and took care of him after. Any other arguments you might wish to make is none of my business, call it whatever you may but kids sooner or later realize the value of both parents either financially or emotionally they all miss their mom or dad when they are gone either as a kid or as an adult....peace!

Cos of the poor countries

Only in poor countries when the woman doesn't have a full time job sometimes even the man

You will always love 1 way more than the other and that's who you are more emotionally attached too. Is it by force they love you looool. If you only bring home money and don't even build a relationship to them then hell naaaaah

Financially = respect
Emotionally = love

Repeating myself over and over again because obviously you didn't do comprehension in school

Luv em both to bits.... Bt was closer to my Dad... Op to grow in2 d kind of man n Father ma Dad was...
God Rest ur Soul Dad..

I love my Mum and Dad o. I dont love one above the other. Both have left their marks in my life. Love them alot.
Most mother's especially single mothers, divorced/separated mothers and mothers that dont enjoy their marriages like painting their children's father in a bad light. You see many children from such unions that end up hating or not liking their Fathers.
A mother is very influential. Anything she says her children swallow. Only few kids can shake off a false representation of their fathers when they become adults.

lovelygurl:


Cos of the poor countries

Only in poor countries when the woman doesn't have a full time job sometimes even the man

You will always love 1 way more than the other and that's who you are more emotionally attached too. Is it by force they love you looool. If you only bring home money and don't even build a relationship to them then hell naaaaah

Financially = respect
Emotionally = love


Repeating myself over and over again because obviously you didn't do comprehension in school

Ok so you are no longer arguing against my position that more men provide for their family financially than women globally. Good, that is all I wanted. The rest of your argument is none of my concern....shalom!

abbey621:



Ok so you are no longer arguing against my position that more men provide for their family financially than women globally. Good, that is all I wanted. The rest of your argument is none of my concern....shalom!

Dude you need to go back to primary school as fast as possible!

lovelygurl:


Dude you need to go back to primary school as fast as possible!

ignoratio elenchi

abbey621:


ignoratio elenchi

Oh which language is that?

lovelygurl:



Oh which language is that?

Just your classic philosophical language. It basically mocks your conclusion that I need to go back to primary school

abbey621:


Just your classic philosophical language. It basically mocks your conclusion that I need to go back to primary school

Interesting



Behindertes Stück Scheiße

lovelygurl:


Interesting



Behindertes Stück Scheiße

gleich zu Ihnen

abbey621:


gleich zu Ihnen

Eh nicht

You googled that up johr loool gleich zu Ihnen ko typical Google translator