sugah:

Thanks, seen. He's on leave ke? I'd still call him Sha.
He recommended it but the nurses inserted it. Not to scare you but that ish left me traumatized. My threshold for pain is quite low I guess

Ewooo!
Chimoo

God dey o!

Heard I have to wait till my next period..is it true?

obayaya:


Being a mother is indeed a full-time job..

See planning and strategizing

Hi Auntie Mizmycoli

Heyyyyy
Obayaya!
Long time

It's one of Life's best gifts too.

Lol
How did you find me here sef.

Abi you sef dey take lessons for your little one?

Am I overreacting?
Am I being petty?
Am I just a bad wife?

I hate it when my husband takes my money without my permission. Especially when it's my last card.

Maybe that's because it's something I don't do. I don't take people's (my husband included) things without asking.

God it pisses me off.
It makes me mad that I have to hide my own money in my own house from my own husband.

It is worthy of note that we earn the same salary. I respect money and save for rainy days because I hate borrowing.
My husband is the opposite. He himself doesn't know what the hell he does with his money. But I know for sure he doesn't spend it on me or his child.

I pick up mine and my child's tab which I don't mind.
I even pay half of my house rent, which I guess is ok? Or I'm just a fool?

Before I got married I thought married women who spent their money on their home were idiots.

Who's the fool now?

MizMyColi:

Heyyyyy Obayaya! Long time
It's one of Life's best gifts too.
Lol How did you find me here sef.
Abi you sef dey take lessons for your little one?

I'm fine ma'am..
I'm preparing myself o..
my little one will come in less than 3 years time

[quote author=Chrisdada16 post=55059285]Please I want to rant I beg you.

Mama, i was once in your shoes. I gave birth with a C section as well and had to go and stay in my in laws family house because my mother is late. I also got frustrated with some of their decisions and told my hubby that i must leave. What i did was that i connived with my friends who i secretly flashed wen i was in the midst of my in laws and they called me. As a result of our plan, they told me they are planning to come to our house to see baby and i told them we are coming next weekend so my in laws overheard that which was part of the plan and asked me. I then used that opportunity to tell them that my family and friends have been calling to visit and i told them we will be coming that weekend. That was how i left when my baby was 3 weeks and told them we will still visit again which i said just as an excuse. So, u can adopt this trick and u can start doing small small chores as soon as u feel better and ur hubby can help u out as well. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK

obayaya:


I'm fine ma'am..

I'm preparing myself o..

my little one will come in less than 3 years time

Okay na
We will be here waiting...
All the best dearie

[quote author=faithisallihave post=55075710]Am I overreacting?
Am I being petty?
Am I just a bad wife?

Take it easy ma. You are not overreacting, you are not petty, you are not a bad wife and you are not a fool. I also contribute to almost everything to be done in the house and understands how u feel when u are being taken for granted. I guess u should try as much as possible to keep your monies in the bank and just hold some change for tp and little things. Its well dear

faithisallihave:
Am I overreacting?
Am I being petty?
Am I just a bad wife?

I hate it when my husband takes my money without my permission. Especially when it's my last card.

Maybe that's because it's something I don't do. I don't take people's (my husband included) things without asking.

God it pisses me off.
It makes me mad that I have to hide my own money in my own house from my own husband.

It is worthy of note that we earn the same salary. I respect money and save for rainy days because I hate borrowing.
My husband is the opposite. He himself doesn't know what the hell he does with his money. But I know for sure he doesn't spend it on me or his child.

I pick up mine and my child's tab which I don't mind.
I even pay half of my house rent, which I guess is ok? Or I'm just a fool?

Before I got married I thought married women who spent their money on their home were idiots.

Who's the fool now?

i dont think it is foolish for a woman to contribute financially to the home. If you have a husband who is rich enough to cater for all the house needs that is fine, but that is still no excuse not to work or spend your money on silly things, sadly it happens too frequently that should something bad happens to the man in that situation, then the woman goes from being comfy one day to not being able to even buy pure water the next day.

Talk about money with him and let him know how you feel, share an account, share the expenses and the responsibilities, it breeds trusts, it helps to identify what your money is going, and also how to plan for the future.

Well, since you are the sensible one, i suggest you take the reins on the house finances. i dont see it as being foolish

i do not mean you should foot all the bills, especially with childcare, he has to contribute, he is the father.

Get a spread sheet done of all your expenses ion a monthly basis, including electricity, gas, feeding, child care, generator &fuel, toiletries, water etc etc.
the pro rate your larger expenses like rent to a monthly figure and add, then add a bit for savings and also an amount for miscellaneous items.

When you get the final figure: divide it by 2 since you both earn the same amount . open an account and each person should pay their contribution into it as soon as salaries are paid. the the money for rent and savings can be transferred into another account. ideally the account should be a joint account and would work better if each person has access to it and is ONLY used for household items. but if one party is not good with money, you can road test this system for a few months and if they tend to dip in for silly things then perhaps you open one that only the responsible party has access to but the other can view.

then what each person does with what is left after contributing is really their business as long as the household can run itself. if an unexpected bill comes that cannot be accommodated from the house account, then that will be dealt with separately

the idea of the saving is to save at least up to 6 months household running cost, in case of a rainy day, you know you have a buffer for a few months to at least gather yourself.


Pele dear , but talk about it with him oh... money in a marriage IS a big deal, assume nothing, let the household finances be spelt out in BOLD Black and white, many a marriages have scattered because of money matter.

W

Please mamas don't fall for this; so many people have been burnt by this...

Also forward to everyone you know.
Never click any link sent in an email...always log on to the bank's official websites or call the customer care or better yet schedule a visit.

Too many ppllost funds that's why I'm posting this

AlphaHandMaiden, thanks for your contribution.

I actually suggested opening a joint account to him for monthly savings. That was over a year ago.
He wasn't forthcoming so, I opened one and save 50k monthly.

I also suggested opening a kiddies acc for the baby. He told me outrightly he wasn't interested. I wasn't even asking him to contribute.

Honestly, I just feel tired and defeated.

[quote author=stephmiracle post=55077994][/quote]
'Taken for granted'
Yeah! That's exactly what I think the problem is.

MizMyColi:

Okay na We will be here waiting... All the best dearie

Thanks ma'am..
Kiss your lil one's head for me

Fyngal1:
@ROFEMIGUWA: it happened to my baby and i wanted to see d pead but my husband said it was too much carbohydrates because it happens to him sometimes too. so, i began a personal observation and discovered that anytime i eat rice for dinner(especially if i eat late) my baby wakes up with heavy discharge in his eyes. i stopped and the discharge stopped. for good measure, i ate rice several days later, and the discharge was back in his eyes

Hehe Fyngal1, when did you marry and even born on top Your moniker just made me remember the good old days, oya come back and be updating your diary. This is Bright btw.

faithisallihave:
Am I overreacting?
Am I being petty?
Am I just a bad wife?

I hate it when my husband takes my money without my permission. Especially when it's my last card.

Maybe that's because it's something I don't do. I don't take people's (my husband included) things without asking.

God it pisses me off.
It makes me mad that I have to hide my own money in my own house from my own husband.

It is worthy of note that we earn the same salary. I respect money and save for rainy days because I hate borrowing.
My husband is the opposite. He himself doesn't know what the hell he does with his money. But I know for sure he doesn't spend it on me or his child.

I pick up mine and my child's tab which I don't mind.
I even pay half of my house rent, which I guess is ok? Or I'm just a fool?

Before I got married I thought married women who spent their money on their home were idiots.

Who's the fool now?

My darling come take a big hug
No you are not being petty, or overreacting.
In fact a lot of families are contending with a financially irresponsible spouse. I can imagine how painful it is having someone draw u back like that. I would have suggested what alphahandmaidien said because that's almost how my dh and I run our finances but since you said it wouldn't work then go guerilla on him like stephmiracle said. Please keep all your money in d bank. Use POS as often as possible to eliminate cash. Talk to him about how you feel. Is he working on any project or carrying any family burden (his extended family). Try as much as you can to find out where his money goes to.

Good morning mama's in the house, pls I woke up this morning and saw discharge from my 10month baby's right eye glued wwith 'ipin. Pls what can I do

CD: zaynle iomoge2, kaffy alphahaidmaiden, rofemigwa.
Thanks.

sugah:

On the topic .....Does yours cause abnormal bleeding?

.i only saw traces of blood 4 3 days after having it inserted.
Buh i havent seen my period since then.

Guess am one of d breastfeeding few who dont menstrate until they wean off baby.
Was scared thats why i ran to insert it.

But d nurse told us that 3 3months.. we shoukd expect heavy flow.
Like 8 or 10days period.
That our body is adjusting.
Sh3 said after then it would normalize.

Boomz:
Good morning mama's in the house, pls I woke up this morning and saw discharge from my 10month baby's right eye glued wwith 'ipin. Pls what can I do

CD: zaynle iomoge2, kaffy alphahaidmaiden, rofemigwa.
Thanks.

Someone said sometin about getting saline water from d pharmacy and using to wipe.
But since its d first time... use warm water to clean.
And watch it.
If there is discomfort or redness of d eye see a pead.

One old woman told me to be careful as to not allow soap enter my babes eye when bathing her that soap (tearless or not) causes it.

enque:


Ewooo!
Chimoo

God dey o!

Heard I have to wait till my next period..is it true?

I did mine before my period came o. I only saw my period when LO clocked 6months and I wasn't breastfeeding that much. I inserted mine like 3 months ago

sugah:

I did mine before my period came o. I only saw my period when LO clocked 6months and I wasn't breastfeeding that much. I inserted mine like 3 months ago

Ok...thanks ma

(This woman can type for Africa!!!. Anytime I see "essay" reply, I don't need to bother to check who it is. I automatically know she's de one)

AlphaHandMaiden:



i dont think it is foolish for a woman to contribute financially to the home. If you have a husband who is rich enough to cater for all the house needs that is fine, but that is still no excuse not to work or spend your money on silly things, sadly it happens too frequently that should something bad happens to the man in that situation, then the woman goes from being comfy one day to not being able to even buy pure water the next day.

Talk about money with him and let him know how you feel, share an account, share the expenses and the responsibilities, it breeds trusts, it helps to identify what your money is going, and also how to plan for the future.

Well, since you are the sensible one, i suggest you take the reins on the house finances. i dont see it as being foolish

i do not mean you should foot all the bills, especially with childcare, he has to contribute, he is the father.

Get a spread sheet done of all your expenses ion a monthly basis, including electricity, gas, feeding, child care, generator &fuel, toiletries, water etc etc.
the pro rate your larger expenses like rent to a monthly figure and add, then add a bit for savings and also an amount for miscellaneous items.

When you get the final figure: divide it by 2 since you both earn the same amount . open an account and each person should pay their contribution into it as soon as salaries are paid. the the money for rent and savings can be transferred into another account. ideally the account should be a joint account and would work better if each person has access to it and is ONLY used for household items. but if one party is not good with money, you can road test this system for a few months and if they tend to dip in for silly things then perhaps you open one that only the responsible party has access to but the other can view.

then what each person does with what is left after contributing is really their business as long as the household can run itself. if an unexpected bill comes that cannot be accommodated from the house account, then that will be dealt with separately

the idea of the saving is to save at least up to 6 months household running cost, in case of a rainy day, you know you have a buffer for a few months to at least gather yourself.


Pele dear , but talk about it with him oh... money in a marriage IS a big deal, assume nothing, let the household finances be spelt out in BOLD Black and white, many a marriages have scattered because of money matter.

iomoge2:

.i only saw traces of blood 4 3 days after having it inserted.
Buh i havent seen my period since then.

Guess am one of d breastfeeding few who dont menstrate until they wean off baby.
Was scared thats why i ran to insert it.

But d nurse told us that 3 3months.. we shoukd expect heavy flow.
Like 8 or 10days period.
That our body is adjusting.
Sh3 said after then it would normalize.

I had heard of the heavy bleeding but not the every 2 weeks bleeding.

sugah:

I had heard of the heavy bleeding but not the every 2 weeks bleeding.

Theres supposed to be check up after some weeks of insertion.
Have u gone.

faithisallihave:
AlphaHandMaiden, thanks for your contribution.

I actually suggested opening a joint account to him for monthly savings. That was over a year ago.
He wasn't forthcoming so, I opened one and save 50k monthly.

I also suggested opening a kiddies acc for the baby. He told me outrightly he wasn't interested. I wasn't even asking him to contribute.

Honestly, I just feel tired and defeated.

Some men can b stuuborn sha.
And the annoying part is if the baby does well its him they will praise....but otherwise its your fault.
Our children will do well in Jesus name.

For saving up... dont wait 4 him pls.
I was also waiting 4 him but mehn i have advised myself...

My family friend did one of them child savings n was dropping 5k montly.
In 5years he cashed out 650k.
U can then re-invest that or do a longer plan.

babythug:


Does he stay home all day? If yes stay off diapers and wipes for now! Buy pants there are some local and cheap ones that should fit his buttocks. All hands will be one deck to pack poo poo and wee wee though!

Also if you can find bepanthen nappy cream! It works wonders may be pricey, but it works

Good luck

I would try your suggestions...thank you

Onegai:


Your answer is with a Paediatric Dermatologist, not here. If you are in Lagos, I know 2. You can give them a call and they will schedule an appointment at their private clinic. You have tried antibacterial and antifungal so it is time time for Dr.
The next option is to switch to cloth diapers and cloth wipes, especially those made out of cotton (it is a weird shortcut to use only underwear and keep cleaning up after a baby when there is a product that will absorb and work even better, let the skin breathe and you won't have to be wiping the floor up after baby makes a mess) and most definitely stay away from most disposable diapers.

I am actually in Abuja but would try out some of the suggestions made...if you have the contact for a Pead in Abuja, it would be appreciated...

Still thinking about the cloth diaper thing oh...Am not so sure i have the mind for it...thank you so much

Abiagirl777:


in addition pls let his bum breathe when u r at home since you have tried all, its very necessary .since my son clocked 3 mths ,dh insisted I wear him only pants at home and use water to wash his bum when he poos,he is 18 mths nw and has never had a diaper rash even after prolonged stooling.my barrier creams are still unopened.

We would try this...thank you

olubankemi:


Do you rob vaseline in his bum before wearing him diaper? How aften do you change his diaper as well? Do use wipe to clean his bum when he poo? If yes pls stop immediately. My kids react to wipes, I never knew but I just stopped it when i realised and that was the magic.m

You may also consider changing his diaper.

I actually use buttpaste before wearing diaper but sometimes use wipes when he poos. I would revert to washing him only and hope it helps.

Thank you Ma

faithisallihave:
Am I overreacting?
Am I being petty?
Am I just a bad wife?

You are not overreacting
You are not being petty and
You are not a bad wife.

As other mama have advised, please try and save your money in the bank and let your cash be in your ATM. Also try and ask him if he is doing any secret project that is taking his money. In this era of i want to use Lamborghini, Men and Women has to work together to achieve most of the things they desire in life because only you or him cannot be paying school fees of 500k per term. Please talk to him. You may wake him up in the middle of the night maybe when hes happy or after una don kpekuse to talk to him because some of them brain work better in the middle of the night.

I pray God guide us a wife, mother and daughter. May we not disappoint God in this full time job as a wife and mum.

faithisallihave:
Am I overreacting?
Am I being petty?
Am I just a bad wife?

I hate it when my husband takes my money without my permission. Especially when it's my last card.

Maybe that's because it's something I don't do. I don't take people's (my husband included) things without asking.

God it pisses me off.
It makes me mad that I have to hide my own money in my own house from my own husband.

It is worthy of note that we earn the same salary. I respect money and save for rainy days because I hate borrowing.
My husband is the opposite. He himself doesn't know what the hell he does with his money. But I know for sure he doesn't spend it on me or his child.

I pick up mine and my child's tab which I don't mind.
I even pay half of my house rent, which I guess is ok? Or I'm just a fool?

Before I got married I thought married women who spent their money on their home were idiots.

Who's the fool now?

This tin is annoying, not in any small measure and you are not over reacting.

My dear, please borrow your self sense and start doing MINIMAL CONTRIBUTIONS ABEG. Let him realize he needs to take over his full responsibilities where it concerns the home and children even if he doesn't give a kobo to you in person cos gentlewoman approach will not help you here. Some men are like that and so as not to give yourself headache, hold only change you will need in the house and keep it out of reach. If you are going out together, ditch your ATM somewhere. Also invest in non liquid cash and have ur own separate savings. While doing this, please continue to do the good wife duties and let your actions lovingly tell him, "darling, you are the head of the home" and not by fight. However, if you sense he needs a little support occasionally, don't hold it back from him. Don't forget to pamper yourself and make yourself happy my sister.

I am sure you must have talked to him about this and believe me, it becomes increasingly awkward in a home where the wife and children are not priorities. It feels like one is taken for granted. Above all, continue to pray he has a change of heart. A mans finances should impact and bless his home first and blessings will surely follow him

Someone said sometin about getting saline water from d pharmacy and using to wipe.
But since its d first time... use warm water to clean.
And watch it.
If there is discomfort or redness of d eye see a pead.

One old woman told me to be careful as to not allow soap enter my babes eye when bathing her that soap (tearless or not) causes it.

Thanks@ iomoge2, it's actually not it's first time. He discharged d watery fluid wen he was 4mnths and d pead prescribed ofloxocin with 10 daily scrolling on both eye. It went off everytime but just reoccur today again. Maybe I should stop d soap face tin.....

iomoge2:


Theres supposed to be check up after some weeks of insertion.
Have u gone.

I wasn't told of any check up o and I didn't go.