In every home, Godly and African, the man is considered to be the head of the family and the crown of his woman. It is his responsibility as the head of the home to provide the family's financial and material needs. It is his responsibility to protect the family in all ways.
Likewise, it is the responsibility of the wife to take care of the home and the family's spiritual and social needs. A good woman makes a good wife and mother. A good woman is the mother of the home and the family.

Nowadays though, it has become the mantra of the 21st century man that he cannot marry a woman who isn't ready to bring anything to the table. Honestly, I have no problem with a woman working to bring something to the table to support her man. It's no biggie.

But you have to know that once I start sharing your responsibilities with you, we will share mine too. If I have to work hard to bring something to the table, you have to know that we will share your crown as the heads of the family. I have become your head and you have become my head. We are both heads.

If I do the dishes all through a month, you will do the dishes all through the next month.
-If I do the laundry this week, you will do the laundry the following week.
-If I cook the meal for breakfast, Dear husband, you'll make dinner.
-You have to go the market on days when I can't.
-You will leave your work to take care of the kids on days when I can't.
-I'll be submissive to you only if you're submissive to me.

Dear husband, you will wash my bra and also my panties. You will clean the house. While I'm washing and cleaning the kitchen, you will wash and clean the toilet.
And trust me, we won't be needing a maid or a houseboy/girl because it's both of our responsibilities and we have to share it.
Not to worry, I'll be taking care of my share of the financial responsibilities too.

Afterall, it is about sharing responsibilities!


Cc: Lalasticlala, Dominique, Mynd44.

oh dear! I'm going to wait for this, they are coming for you

lalanice:
oh dear! I'm going to wait for this, they are coming for you

I await them

Lawlahdey:
I await them

well, I say this and I say that, depends on who I'm willing to piss off but here's the truth. IT'S A MAN'S WORLD. it has always been. whether we want to accept it or not.

as a woman you are allowed to rule your empire, but you don't own it. for me I'd hate to be in a marriage like this, rather not be married than to be in one where I or my partner begins to feel like we are doing the other a favour when we help each other out. I just imaging the kind of marriage you describe up there. ..it'd be too draining for me. I CAN'T!!

Lol...na wa o. Op, abeg, whatever works for you jor... I don tire for marriage matter for nairaland. The thing don dey fear me sef

lalanice:
well, I say this and I say that, depends on who I'm willing to piss off but here's the truth. IT'S A MAN'S WORLD. it has always been. whether we want to accept it or not.

as a woman you are allowed to rule your empire, but you don't own it. for me I'd hate to be in a marriage like this, rather not be married than to be in one where I or my partner begins to feel like we are doing the other a favour when we help each other out. I just imaging the kind of marriage you describe up there. ..it'd be too draining for me. I CAN'T!!

Sure, it's a man's world.
This post is meant to be sarcastic. Honestly, if a woman starts taking care of the finances of a family,She 'd naturally want to assume the role of the head since she's playing it already.
Any man who says a woman must bring to the table too is just a lazy fool. I will only bring to the table if I feel my husband needs my help.

Lawlahdey:
Sure, it's a man's world.
This post is meant to be sarcastic. Honestly, if a woman starts taking care of the finances of a family,She 'd naturally want to assume the role of the head since she's playing it already.
Any man who says a woman must bring to the table too is just a lazy fool. I will only bring to the table if I feel my husband needs my help.

True that.

Lalasticlala,please move this thing to the promise land.

chikk:
Lol...na wa o. Op, abeg, whatever works for you jor... I don tire for marriage matter for nairaland. The thing don dey fear me sef

You took the words out of me. This marriage issue has been over flogged here.

chikk:
Lol...na wa o. Op, abeg, whatever works for you jor... I don tire for marriage matter for nairaland. The thing don dey fear me sef

It's not about what works for me, dear.
It's about reality.

Tritri:
@ Lawlahdey ,

I wonder how people REASON at times...

DO YOU TELL PEOPLE HOW TO RUN / MAINTAIN THERE MARRIAGE ?

AS LONG AS HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE HAPPY..KEEP UR RULES TO URSELF OR FUTURE HUSBAND OR RATHER GIVE UR ADVICE TO UR PARENT .

TELL YOUR DAD THAT IF HE LOST HIS JOB DUE TO NIGERIA HARDSHIP HE WILL WASH UR MOM PANTS.

Marriage here,marriage there like sey na only marriage be the reason of life.

LOL.
You obviously didn't get my point.

Lawlahdey:
LOL.
You obviously didn't get my point.

You're the one who don't understand what exactly ur saying..

THERE IS NO RULES TO MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE HAS NO RULES...

JUST BE CAREFUL BEFORE YOU STEP IN.

Tritri:


You're the one who don't understand what exactly ur saying..

THERE IS NO RULES TO MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE HAS NO RULES...

JUST BE CAREFUL BEFORE YOU STEP IN.

Okay okay.

I dey come

Lawlahdey:
It's not about what works for me, dear.
It's about reality.

No dear, you got it wrong. It is totally about what works for you because this is entirely your opinion. Or are you trying to say that this post is an advice from you to every single individual on how things have to be within every home? There aren't any laid down rules for marriage so what works for you, can't and won't work for others. As is evident in some contrasting comments on this thread.

This write up is for the bin

Lawlahdey:
Sure, it's a man's world.
This post is meant to be sarcastic. Honestly, if a woman starts taking care of the finances of a family,She 'd naturally want to assume the role of the head since she's playing it already.
Any man who says a woman must bring to the table too is just a lazy fool. I will only bring to the table if I feel my husband needs my help.

Mu.mu

RuthDaniels:
Lol!

I find it quite hilarious when guys go about craving a woman whom will share responsibilities with them and at the same time be submissive, respectful and also efficient in house keeping. Some even go as far as sharing financial responsibilities in 60:40% . lol! Can you eat your cake and have it? Why not share the house chores too so everything will be even, Should one gender bear the brunt of something you both decide to create?

This shows how loveless marriages are nowadays, Couples no longer love or support each other. Most people marry for selfish reasons and expectations. Things no longer happen naturally, If there is love in a marriage, helping your spouse financially, physically, materially or with chores will not be a responsibility but something you do naturally .

Gbam gbam gbam.

chikk:


No dear, you got it wrong. It is totally about what works for you because this is entirely your opinion. Or are you trying to say that this post is an advice from you to every single individual on how things have to be within every home? There aren't any laid down rules for marriage so what works for you, can't and won't work for others. As is evident in some contrasting comments on this thread.

I wrote this from an open POV.
Perhaps you missed the sarcasm.

hmmm...learning

Lawlahdey:
Gbam gbam gbam.

Dear,. Sometimes I wonder if people marry for love anymore. The lady wants someone who will take care of her and her financial problems while the man wants someone who will clean his house, warm his bed, bath his children, prepare his dishes and even render financial assistance? common!

Can we just marry with no interior motives? Whatever happens to love . It's really a crazy world!

Whatever works for the couple....

RuthDaniels:
Dear,. Sometimes I wonder if people marry for love anymore. The lady wants someone who will take care of her and her financial problems while the man wants someone who will clean his house, warm his bed, bath his children, prepare his dishes and even render financial assistance? common!

Can we just marry with no interior motives? Whatever happens to love . It's really a crazy world!

I know right?
Sadly, love isn't enough in a marriage.

RuthDaniels:
Lol!

I find it quite hilarious when guys go about craving a woman whom will share responsibilities with them and at the same time be submissive, respectful and also efficient in house keeping. Some even go as far as sharing financial responsibilities in 60:40% . lol! Can you eat your cake and have it? Why not share the house chores too so everything will be even, Should one gender bear the brunt of something you both decide to create?

This shows how loveless marriages are nowadays, Couples no longer love or support each other. Most people marry for selfish reasons and expectations. Things no longer happen naturally, If there is love in a marriage, helping your spouse financially, physically, materially or with chores will not be a responsibility but something you do naturally .

Most live in a bubble world

The typical perfect wife according to most Nigerian men is her being submissive, seeing house chores as her job etc.

The thing it might have worked in the past when men were expected to be the only source of income, being the only one providing etc.

But nowadays those same men complain of what according to the society makes them a man. They are quick to bash ladies who expect their man to be financially ok, they want women who can support them. I don't know if they are just plain stupid or naive but don't they know a woman helping financially is most likely to expect the chores in the house be shared too?

It's a man's world when you know you are a man according to society. If not don't expect to get a woman according to society

lovelygurl:


Most live in a bubble world

The typical perfect wife according to most Nigerian men is her being submissive, seeing house chores as her job etc.

The thing it might have worked in the past when men were expected to be the only source of income, being the only one providing etc.

But nowadays those same men complain of what according to the society makes them a man. They are quick to bash ladies who expect their man to be financially ok, they want women who can support them. I don't if they are just plain stupid or naive but don't they know a woman helping financially is most likely to expect the chores in the house be shared too?

It's a man's world when you know you are a man according to society. If not don't expect to get a woman according to society

Gbam than gbam

lovelygurl:


Most live in a bubble world

The typical perfect wife according to most Nigerian men is her being submissive, seeing house chores as her job etc.

The thing it might have worked in the past when men were expected to be the only source of income, being the only one providing etc.

But nowadays those same men complain of what according to the society makes them a man. They are quick to bash ladies who expect their man to be financially ok, they want women who can support them. I don't if they are just plain stupid or naive but don't they know a woman helping financially is most likely to expect the chores in the house be shared too?

It's a man's world when you know you are a man according to society. If not don't expect to get a woman according to society

[b] "When you do the right thing for the wrong reasons, there's bound to be a failure."

If a man lives his life according to society, then he is on the road to destruction. Not only is the society a group of different persons with different views, personalities,norms and reasonings, Society changes to. A man who lives according to the society is like someone who is asking for directions from a group of people who speaks different languages.

That said, Where there is law, there lies sin. What if we create a World where no one is under any obligations.
Where the woman washes the husband's clothes because she wouldn't stand her lovely spouse go dirty to work, or cook for her husband because she won't allow him to go hungry for a second. A world where the husband provides for his wife because he can't stand her lacking anything. Won't things work out well in such world,?
If partners can put and meet each other's needs first not because they are obligated to but because they feel that's how it should be, then the home will be paradise on earth. [/b]

A single lady is advising the married woman
Good continue
Just tell your future husband all this and wait for his reaction
If you want your man to help there is a way you will say it not like forcing him or telling him it is his responsibility
All responsible man know.is good to help one's wife but they will do it at their own convient time not routine


LAWLAHDEY be wise

horlahsunbo225:
A single lady is advising the married woman
Good continue
Just tell your future husband all this and wait for his reaction
If you want your man to help there is a way you will say it not like forcing him or telling him it is his responsibility
All responsible man know.is good to help one's wife but they will do it at their own convient time not routine


LAWLAHDEY be wise

Your point?

Lawlahdey:
Your point?

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