Chaclaitmilk:


@bold, phew, are you for real? That would be such a relief for her if I tell her. Fear of losing her children is the only reason she is pushing for court marriage.

is she planning to kill her husband

Chaclaitmilk:


People change. The monogamous man of today could be polygamous tomorrow.

you and your sister think you can force a man to bend to your will abi
una go hia wen
everyone is telling you but no,you wan form shell pikin
e go shock una

MrBrownJay1:


you are the one who said that it was this man who asked her hand in marriage, and i just pointed out to you that they WERE indeed already married.... whether she likes it or not. so technically, YES, if she is pushing for a court/registry marriage then she indeed wants another marriage to recognize their union.



and yet, you dont think that this man could also be taken for a ride, like many are? your message is one sided.



well here is a clue: she "supposedly" has money he doesnt, so such marriage could LEGALLY have her take his kids away, when she divorces and portray herself as the only able person to care for them..... if she was indeed richer, then she wouldnt really care about all this because a good lawyer would do the trick (whether court marriage or otherwise). it is very easy to confirm who the unmarried parents of a child are AND a person with money would easily have lawyers show them as the best parent to get custody.

now remember, this man DOES NOT want to have such marriage, and he is ADAMANT about it as thats his wish. dwell on that and tell us all why he should not stand for what he desires, and instead conform to what SHE wants?

I think we seem to approach this topic from different angles and we would both appear to be correct unless we had all the information from the OP. While I see this as a new marriage, probably a case where they just got married and she is wondering why they haven't completed the legal bit, you probably see it as a marriage that has been on for years even with grown kids and I can understand why her sudden demand for legalisation would raise a red flag about her commitment to the union, especially if it didnt bother her for years. The OP didnt say how long they were married and thats why we have conflicting opinions. I would also refer you to this post I made. I think the Op can find solutions from asking these questions as well.

majorbravo:

I think if the man had made it clear that he isn't interested in court/registry marriage before they actually performed the other marital ceremonies and she had accepted it then, something would look very fishy that she demands it now. However if they never had this discussion prior to marriage it is only fair for her to desire full marital privilege.
The man should've explained that he doesnt want it before proposing and listened out for her response before going ahead with the ceremony. It's standard practice for married people to get legal proof of their union. Someone isn't telling the whole truth here.
This dispute rather has the symptoms of a rushed or arranged marriage. OP can find out who is really acting funny by asking his sister if she knew it before his proposal. That would solve this whole quandary

Did she know he wasn't interested in the legals prior to the marriage and accepted to stay with him? The motive can only be discussed and analysed if this information were given.

majorbravo:


I think we seem to approach this topic from different angles and we would both appear to be correct unless we had all the information from the OP. While I see this as a new marriage, probably a case where they just got married and she is wondering why they haven't completed the legal bit, you probably see it as a marriage that has been on for years even with grown kids and I can understand why her sudden demand for legalisation would raise a red flag about her commitment to the union, especially if it didnt bother her for years. The OP didnt say how long they were married and thats why we have conflicting opinions. I would also refer you to this post I made. I think the Op can find solutions from asking these questions as well.

Did she know he wasn't interested in the legals prior to the marriage and accepted to stay with him? The motive can only be discussed and analysed if this information were given.

i see it as a new marriage, as only a newlywed can deman for such, i dont even believe they have kids yet.

sadly, in all your write up, you never for once mention divorce, making me believe that you think they should stay together even though they are incompatible on this very important marital issue. says a lot about your mindset.

as i said earlier... if push comes to shove, then let them part ways with no regrets, et voila!

MrBrownJay1:


i see it as a new marriage, as only a newlywed can deman for such, i dont even believe they have kids yet.

sadly, in all your write up, you never for once mention divorce, making me believe that you think they should stay together even though they are incompatible on this very important marital issue. says a lot about your mindset.

as i said earlier... if push comes to shove, then let them part ways with no regrets, et voila!

I am of the opinion they are newly weds from a rushed marriage and that's why they don't seem to be in agreement about something as basic as legalizing the union. In most churches, you go through an intensive course for months before you are even allowed to marry and these issues would be raised during the course, you are even required to get the legals done before the church can wed you or alternatively have the legal registers signed during the event.

It makes absolutely no sense that this man newly got married and already is against getting it legalised. I can't see where she is wrong for demanding something that is standard practice for most newly weds.

However if she had accepted to boycott legals and now suddenly demands it, then i agree something is fishy. In the absence of that, the man should tell her why he doesn't want it and his reasons better be compelling.

The OP wouldn't come here seeking our opinion if he wanted them to part ways, suggesting they get divorced is not in any way useful to the topic at hand nor respectful to the OP.

majorbravo:


I am of the opinion they are newly weds from a rushed marriage and that's why they don't seem to be in agreement about something as basic as legalizing the union. In most churches, you go through an intensive course for months before you are even allowed to marry and these issues would be raised during the course, you are even required to get the legals done before the church can wed you or alternatively have the legal registers signed during the event.

It makes absolutely no sense that this man newly got married and already is against getting it legalised. I can't see where she is wrong for demanding something that is standard practice for most newly weds.

However if she had accepted to bycott legals and now suddenly demands it, then i agree something is fishy. In the absence of that, the man should tell her why he doesn't want it and his reasons better be compelling.

The OP wouldn't come here seeking our opinion if he wanted them to part ways, suggesting they get divorced is not in any way useful to the topic at hand nor respectful to the OP.

bro, just because you dont see their marriage as "legal" is for you to deal with...many people only do traditional and church wedding....and they go on to live wonderful lives together. furthermore, the fact that you think that this man is against "making their marriage legal" while they are already legally married, is why you will never see this issue from his point of view.

the op doesnt want them to divorce because he is seekeing for ways to have this man change his mind.... he is just as biased as you are. you guys should open your minds and accept that there is something seriously wrong here and these two should have NEVER gotten married. now, differencies arise and you want this man to lay down and open his nyansh so he can be royally sodomised in every ways this lady desires. haba! have some respect for this dude bro. the man said NO, why dont you guys accept that for a change!

what is standard practice will work for standard people,... today many dont even get married and have baby mamas instead, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. so stop trying to make this court marriage issue like a do or die mission, and instead try to UNDERSTAND this man

MrBrownJay1:


bro, just because you dont see their marriage as "legal" is for you to deal with...many people only do traditional and church wedding....and they go on to live wonderful lives together. furthermore, the fact that you think that this man is against "making their marriage legal" while they are already legally married, is why you will never see this issue from his point of view.

the op doesnt want them to divorce because he is seekeing for ways to have this man change his mind.... he is just as biased as you are. you guys should open your minds and accept that there is something seriously wrong here and these two should have NEVER gotten married. now, differencies arise and you want this man to lay down and open his nyansh so he can be royally sodomised in every ways this lady desires. haba! have some respect for this dude bro. the man said NO, why dont you guys accept that for a change!

what is standard practice will work for standard people,... today many dont even get married and have baby mamas instead, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. so stop trying to make this court marriage issue like a do or die mission, and instead try to UNDERSTAND this man

I didn't use the word 'legal' in the context of "legitimacy' I'm simply referring to the 'registry/state marriage' for lack of a better term due to its use of legal documentation. Just like someone who says he is in the legal profession doesnt mean everyother profession is illegal, I'm not suggesting any of the others is inferior. The man simply didn't give any real reasons for refusing it. And until we know what agreement they had prior to the wedding and what transpired like I pointed out before, we would all be making wrong assertions.
I do not want to turn this into an argument. I think I have covered enough ground for my opinion on this matter.

So after reading that post, this is what you can come up with? Hehehe

majorbravo:

What stops them from getting a pre-nup. Ain't no way I'm gonna let anyone marry my daughter if they don't register it with the church and the law. He should be looking to answer to God if he decides to jet, and also lose half his property if he thinks he can just go marry someone else after he's done reaping her off.

majorbravo:



I think if the man had made it clear that he isn't interested in court/registry marriage before they actually performed the other marital ceremonies and she had accepted it then, something would look very fishy that she demands it now. However if they never had this discussion prior to marriage it is only fair for her to desire full marital privilege.
The man should've explained that he doesnt want it before proposing and listened out for her response before going ahead with the ceremony. It's standard practice for married people to get legal proof of their union. Someone isn't telling the whole truth here.
This dispute rather has the symptoms of a rushed or arranged marriage. OP can find out who is really acting funny by asking his sister if she knew it before his proposal. That would solve this whole quandary

Nobody wants to notice the words in bold.

The man isn't honest about something.

And it seems other men want it that way. They're rooting for the native wedding thing in order to protect him from any future responsibilities and a possible cover up of a previous marriage by avoiding the courts at all costs.

Since when did something as natural as legal documentation become a sign that the woman isn't serious about it and is bullying him?

blank:
What Church? If they gave her certificate that has Federal Republic of Nigeria and is very long, that's the same certificate as the court gives. She should take it to the nearest marriage registry and register a copy. The End.

152 likes ...152 people have been misled

Doctorfitz:
Well he should get a prenuptial, a water tight one, she should sign then let's go ahead with the court marriage..

Smh ...

Contact each others lawyers, simple let's officially make this contract a "contract".

Prenuptial agreements are not recognized by Nigerian laws ....don't be misled

tobianthony:


Prenuptial agreements are not recognized by Nigerian laws ....don't be misled

Get ur facts right ogbeni

Chaclaitmilk:


It's very funny how African men always reiterate that women should have jobs and not take money from their husbands but they will flare up if you suggest that husbands should cook and cleanup after themselves instead of depending on their wives for it.

True.

How far with your quest?

Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.

Here u let the cat out of the bag, In life it is always the destination before the journey. Ur sister knows she is not the right woman to her husband for having such thoughts, she is aware of her been throne out of her marriage with no time cos she has evil attitudes n character to prove her intentions. In life only God protects,we are guided by law and law does not guarantee our safety but God. Tell her to have a change of heart, care and love her family endlessly with pride of being a Mrs. Pls stop misleading ur sister, always tell her the truth without fear.

Chaclaitmilk:
Her husband is vehemently against having a court marriage with her, They did church marriage and reception but no court,

He keeps refusing and saying he doesn't see the need because he isn't travelling abroad soon and so does not see the importance.

Please what is the usefulness of court marriage for her as a wife and him as the husband? I want to know how to advise her in convincing the husband.

For certain documents processing and official documents, only Court registry marriage is acceptable

At work and even as prove of marriage

Your inlaw doesn't understand the real meaning of it, he felt all he has will be given to your sister incase of any problems

But he is not looking at registration of his marriage which is the o my recognised prove of marriage for official purposes

It may be useful now or in the future

Her husband is just being in secured