Thank you all ever so much.
I have been reading all day and smiling but at work so could not reply.. CC you are not my aunty but my mother,some of the things you have said on here, my folks didnt even say to me. God bless you and yours.
I remain positive.

I just feel the need to defend him a bit in light of what the thread has become. Just for the sake of the future, what if he sees this someday?.

He is not lazy or relaxed about the whole situation, infact he worries day and night and I catch him looking into thin air all the time searching for what is not lost ...lol. I only feel he is in a wrong environment, one that he is not used to and has been unable to penetrate.

Years ago, before I met him he ran a successful business that went down the drain. He still has the company papers and some documents he shows me to prove it. Things went the order way and he lost all (long story). His longtime girlfirend left him and he sold what he had left and moved to another city thats where we met. Infact we joke about it and I say so you have made money before and I have never enjoyed your money and he replies that you would soon enjoy it and be tired. He started hustling and doing all sorts of business to make money (nothing bad) and by the time I met him he had bought a new car (toks o..lol) and was saving money to get a place. According to him, he bought the car first in order to move around easily. At that time he was staying with a friend. As for me, I would not lie I met someone with a bit of potential that I fell in love with and married him. He got a small place before we got married and we moved in. After a few months we moved to a bigger place. I was working and he was still hustling,selling all kinds of things, doing middleman for businesses etc. I would not say all was rosy because we were still managing but at least we were fine.

We relocated due to some reasons (I wont be tempted to share..lol) and obviously he is not used to this UK system, hence the position he is in. I encourage him all the time to think of what he can do to supplement the income but he tells me he is thinking, but if you ask him of what he can do in Nigeria, he has a long list. The not wanting to be seen in places issue as to do with people he knows back home, he has friends and past clients that visit and all that kind of thing (to be honest, I don't blame him)

Therefore, I came on here to seek advice on how to move ahead so we can at least increase our income and save enough money to return to Nigeria where I know he can excel.

To the law degree and accountancy, thanks for your advice but it did make me chuckle. Infact it made my day, I am my hubby's PA as he calls me o, I fill all his forms and pay all the bills. He is no good with computers and books o.

Once again guys I really appreciate the prayers, something +ve happened today, I received an invitation to a test from one of the coys I have been applying to and I believe this is due to all that happened over the weekend. I am someone that believes God answers some people's prayers more than others and he must have heard the cry of you guys. I am positive about this job.

God bless us all.

Thanks guys, very constructive arguements there, but don't make me start thinking of running away o..lol *just kidding*

@John, sent you an email last night..

Good day everyone

Double post again
I need to learn fast..lol

@ David,

You are not the 'bad guy' at all and I can't take offence because you have said nothing but the truth. Infact this is a critical view of the whole situation which I like. Every single thing you have said I have thought of before and I know where my mistakes lie but I have no REGRETS because if my husband's financial situation improves today and with his character (if it does not change), I would be the happiest woman alive.

It's a long story and we moved to UK for reasons I don't want to go into, all in all we don't regret it and we have learnt a lot from living in another man's land.

Our ultimate goal is to relocate back home, but we obviously need money to set some things going.

I won't dwell on the past and cry over spilled milk but think about how I can join forces with him to make our lives better. We have two children together and I love him so the best thing to do is to forge ahead.

I agree I have to push him a bit harder which I am trying to do though I must be honest and state that he has a bit of pride and would not want to be seen doing some things. He prefers to go and push crates in a warehouse where no one would see him according to him.

@prettycindy,
Thanks
Good thing you listened to your sis but you should still have pursued the masters and return back home after, if you can afford it. UK is not a lose-lose situation and you learn a few things in the one year you are here to learn. I also pray things open up for your sister.

Oh dear, Jenny! I think you got me wrong. Building houses in Nigeria is not my priority at all and I was only saying to Busybody that I like to look ahead not behind. I was stating examples only.I am not looking at or comparing myself to millionaires in a bad way but in a postive way. I am aspiring and aiming to get there someday, through hardwork and dedication. Like I stated earlier, I had dreams from when I was a young girl which everyone has and I know it can ony be delayed but not denied.
To my husband, I respect him so much and can never say anything to depress him rather I show him all the love I can. A man that hands in all of his salary except the money he keeps for fuel in a month. I can't remember when last he bought a new item except for an occasional bottle of perfume he gets once in 3 months and on top of it takes care of his whole family. I would be wicked to start saying hurtful things to him, money is not everything and God can bless anyone at anytime.

Thank you to everyone TV, Cfour, Kay and Freesia.

Kay, I would note down your suggestion and state it to him. He has a good eyes for cars which might help. Let's see how it goes.

Double entry

Wow!

Thanks guys...I honestly didnt think anyone would pay attention to me and I appreciate each and everyone.

Efe, I def saw the mini cab comment and it has been noted as well.

lol @sisi on John's comments, I am sure he has experienced some nigerians turning up their noses thats why he asked that way. I dont blame him at all, I am still very much looking forward to his reply or email so we can discuss.

@busybody,
I am not complaining, its just that when I think of the future, I get really worried and I just needed to hear stories to encourage me. I thank God I even got more than just testimonies but very helpful hints to move us to the next level.
Like I say to my hubby, I don't like to look back and say everyone earns minimum wage. What of the boys in the city? what of doctors? what of people living here and buying property in Naija...I am not comparing myself to them but I am also aspiring to live well. We only live life once. Thank God we don't even run into emergencies as such in this country, if not how would we cope? I appreciate the link you sent, I am going to digest each and every post.

@minute,
I love you already..lol
Firstly, transportation is high because that is the only job I could get. I spend £280 on transport a month because I travel all the way to zone 1 from where I live. Zone 1 is the most expensive part of London transportation wise.
My hubby spends £200 on fuel every month for work, dropping the kids,dropping me at the station in the mornings, our shopping etc. Thats why transportation is that high. I am trying to get a job around my area working for the same company for now till I get my desired job.
A big thank you for all your free financial tips,some people charge a fee to supply this info .
We would follow every step.

God bless you all.

Chaircover,
you are so nice...thanks very much. I'll keep you posted on our decisions. If I decide on cake making, I wont mind the items you offered but would not want you spending your money to post them. We'll discuss another way because as it is you are going to be giving out items worth a lot of money.

John,
Thanks..we are most def interested in anything that would help us except get rich schemes and anything against the law.
Could you please elaborate on the kind of business

God bless everyone
Still looking out for more replies

Hello everyone,

Thanks for the prayers

That is after tax. I earn £19,500 pa so comes to about 1300/month after tax.
He earns minimum wage, so about £200 comes to his account weekly after tax.
A church member helps with the children, picks the 4 yr old from school and cares for the baby during the day. We pay her £200 a month which is very considerate of her.
Unfortunately, the only job I could get is far from home. Rent where I live is fair so we can't move to where I work because rent there is outrageous. I spend £280 a month on transport(Zone 1 inclusive). My hubby spends £200 on fuel to include transport to work, dropping the kids, shopping and all other things we have to do. We have no social life so nothing to account for there.
We save some bits but then car insurance comes, road tax comes and it goes again and we start again.
I am not moaning o, just looking for a way out and all your advises have been very helpful.
I trust God to direct us.

Thanks guys..I can't thank you enough.
I am noting down all the suggestions.

I have thought of so many things in line with your suggestions chair cover. I thought of cupcakes, making soup and stew for bachelors etc. The wedding decorations would still take me out of my house on saturday so amm I not better off getting a job from like 10 to 3 and hope for like £50 every saturday. I like the part that you prayed that we won't compromise on anything becaue it is so hard. I now understand why some girls want to marry rich men and I can't judge them.
MY hubby is good with his hands, he barbs his and our son's hair and it look's like A professional did it, he is also good with house fixing and furniture. I tell him how can you have such talents and we are suffering, I guess we don't know how to begin.I am ready to hustle and work my head off which is what I have always done but still worried about the future. These days we have 30 years olds that are already senior managers and u just wish it was your hubby.
After all has been said, I guess the next step is to try and get extra income, save and start a business that can help us achieve our dreams.
I know I can excel in my career because I am searching for jobs with Msc qualification which I got from here(my folks paid) and I know it would come but I am worried about my hubby.

@Jenny, unfortunately its a month's wages o. I earn £1300 and he earns £800 for now.

Thanks Moremi

I just read your post, we would keep going and praying for God's blessings.

Thanks Efe, Chaircover and Violent.

Our kids are 4 and 2 and our net is about £2100, £500 goes to transport to and from work for both of us because of distance.
I would say the going back to school won't work for him. He has never been a 'book'person and going to spend money on him at his age (over 40) would only waste our little resources.
He has a BSC from Nigeria but has never really used it to work. He was into business before we moved here for some reasons, so you see why it is hard for him to get a skilled job.
He has done a course in the healthcare sector for those that take blood from patients and yet to get a job, my problem is the jobs dont even pay that much too.
I think our best bet is to look for other sources of income, I have started looking for a saturday job.
I used to do online work when I was on maternity leave but hardly have time now. I have done some ebay trading before but i find that the fees from ebay and paypal means you don't make much profit at the end of the day.
We would keep trying and hoping.
Thanks for all the advise and encouragement.

I think it is wickedness on the part of academics to award anyone a CGPA of 3.49.
Poster I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.
If you can afford to pursue your masters degree abroad, it would be great because you have good potentials.

Thanks

We dont really have any debts apart from credit cards (1 each) with little outstanding balances.
We are not extravagant, we pay our bills and take care of our kids whilst spending money prudently.
The problem is the income, my job is just OK and my hubby's quite bad so I am worried about living like this forever. You know that feeling of being stuck. I understand a lot of people in UK live like this but this is not our dream.
We don't need advisers actually because we manage our little money really well.
We look for a new job for him everyday but to be honest he doesnt have much skills so can't really get a high paying job. We have plans to relocate to Nigeria so he can do business which he is good at and I can get a job but how do we save the amount of money needed? We have discussed it and know/think that we would be better off in Nigeria.
That's why I thought to come on here to hear other people's stories and how they survived this kind of problems.

Thank you so much for your response.
I feel like I am going to print it out and frame it, so encouraging.
I tell you the truth, he is indeed wonderful..helps with the kids, housechores, takes care of me too as per ironing my clothes etc. he has never hurt me since we got married.
I told him recently that we have everything but money and he said to me, 'You should be happy because money can always come'.
I guess i am worried because I used to dream about the kind of life I wanted to have when i was much younger. It is not close to it financially but I am grateful for all other things.

Hello guys,

New user here but has a burden.
I have been married to my hubby for a couple of years, we live abroad and things are not and have never been rosy.
Since I married him we have always struggled. We both have jobs but just manage to get by each month. We have loads of plans but never have excess cash.
He is a wonderful man and I love him so much but he is quite old and I am getting scared that things might keep going on like this.
Sometimes I think it is spiritual because this is what they call hand to mouth with no spare cash.
I would like to know if anyone has been through or is going through this?. How did you overcome this? share your testimony to encourage me to keep hoping. Please give advise on what we can do.

P.s I have a masters degree, I do small business with my job. Hubby is hard working and can do anything for his family but without a great job. We have 2 kids and do everything together including planning our finances.