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Thanks everyone for the advice , I have 2 kids age 6 and 3 and my first degree is in microbiology.

LagosismyHome:


vanitty

It is very possible to come with family but the older the children the easier it is for the other spouse to work and that help financially..... however small

So I guess it depends on how many children and their ages but lots of students come and somehow settle with their family

Currently in Nigeria, he is going for M.sc
Hi Madam,
Please can you advice us on what’s your current location (UK or Nigeria) and what’s your husband going to study ?(B.sc/M.sc/P.hd etc)... this would help us give you the best advice ... ..[/quote]

Good day everyone, pls I need your advice .hubby got an admission to study in Scotland, is it advisable to go with the whole family and settle down.

Truth be told, it would have been better were the father to have given the car to both his children ( his daughter and inherited son)!

Something is a bit off in that relationship hence why the man blew his gasket.

Situations like this happens more than we know but unfortunately the way society is set up, there is this general belief that women are the weaker sex but trust me that is totally not true.

Sure, a man MAY be stronger physically but a woman MAY kill emotionally and render you useless you with her tongue.

That been said, I can assure you that you handled it perfectly, had you reciprocated, you would have been the one in the wrong ( another society set up)

You sir , need to take it a step further, she has done it twice and she has more or less escaped scot - free. Remember the adage, fool me once, shame on you, twice shame on me.

I will suggest you have a serious one to one with her, labelled the point and please stick to it, think of it as a contract if you must. Next time, she abuses you in any shape or form, stick to any agreement you have. Let her understand there are repercussions for her actions.

Hitting is not cute!

Lastly, communication. If there is something off with your routine/pattern for the day, take time out, even just 5 minutes and talk to her about it. Why you will be late etc.

Good luck and yes you are right, marriage is not child play!!

Most men are seen as the monster for hitting back even though the wife had done it for eons. Something about life not being fair springs to mind and why I personally think all this male - female equality will never work.

Chillisauce:


Put it in a cloth sieve, wrap it very well, then throw in a washing machine.
No soap please


You can try it, after all it's same principle of washing.

Just one question. Is she "allowed" to see her child?

All that matters is that you spend quality time with your family. I am very time conscious, I understand the concept of time and please everything I can do to cut corners and spend some private time with hubby and quality time with the kids, you best believe it I am cutting with all guns blazing. Why would I want to hand wash a whole load of laundry etc.all because I want to be seen as good, we get who we deserve truly because I trust my hubby, he will be like who send you message

How about wives reading Psalm 109 (but omitting verses cursing their children )on top of husbands'head. Darn right strange things do happen. Scorned wives are not smiling. Hatred is just as strong an emotion as love.

In my line of work, I see so many things that my mind cannot comprehend it all so therefore If a woman refuses to mourn for dead husband as long as she didn't cause the death, none of my business.

I don't think most ladies really care about potential. A more better phrase to use is "responsible" right here and now.

I strongly advice people not to marry people based on their potential anyway - marry them for exactly who they are right now. The only constant thing in life is change. The risk of marrying a potential far outweighs the benefit as his so-called potential may never materialise. You will end up bitter and hassling the poor man.

The man in the story at least as a job . he just needs a woman that they will be singing from the same hymn sheet.
I certainly do not think being average ( earning 100 000 naira per month ) translate to not having potential. The woman just wanted more. There are some ladies that will be satisfied with just that, combined with the fact that the man is a responsible leader in his home.

There are far more important things for a woman to be concerned with when choosing a life partner. Money even though important ranks so much lower in the grand scheme of things. At least this man had a job.

Ask him bluntly why you were not mentioned. That is the only way this will be resolved. If you feel entitled, so be it, talk to your mr.

So many things appear petty to people, but to me it is a huge deal and I am sure it is vice versa.

There is an evil streak in the man if he told you he did that mainly because you did not support him. You need to watch that.

So many times, I am sure most have not entirely supported a decision made by their better half but when it turns out well, the chorus was ( me and my wife/husband)

One thing I know is if we are treated the way we deserve at times in relationship, infact there would be none

Sort this out now

All the best!

Kids are very innocent/naive -the child probably did not mean it in the context were it to be a grown adult that said it.

However for the parents to be very worried, they must feel there is something a bit off in their parenting style. Let them check themselves.

Praise and rebuke appropriately, don't focus on the "wrong things" alone.

It is well.

Your hubby salary is 40k per month, putting that into consideration, 45k per month is too much for a stranger to be watching your baby. Please I know it seems impossible but there are family that even survive on 18k per month.

Chair cover said it all really, your baby and health should be your priority and the easiest thing to do is quit your job.

In this slight pickle you find yourself, left to me I will just let my husband make the decision, if he thinks quit - so be it, if he thinks maid - so be it, if he thinks spending more than his own salary for crèche- so be it

Really wish you the best, it will be worth it in the end x

The only sensible option if all else fails is for the person with the lesser pay to quit their job but if hubby refuses then I am afraid you will have to quit. Your husband will have to shoulder the responsibilities of the family by himself.

If you are totally against that idea then

1. You can relocate
2. You can stop worrying about it and let hubby give his own suggestion
3. Get another live in nanny

Believe you me, most husbands do this and more, probably not braiding hair but most husbands are very active in housekeeping

Never you mind, the pretentious men in their grandeur delusions with their beer parlour gist frame of mind that says one thing but their home life is totally different.

Forget the western world for a minute, even in Nigeria where wife and husband both work same hours, unless the husband does not want peace loku or perhaps have a housemaid or madam na housewife will he sit down while madam does everything

Nashville:

Ol boy don't even go there. My wife's car is finer than mine. She has more clothes, infinite shoes, bags jewelry. The worst thing is that if you give her money to buy stuff for the kids and you ask the kids later, they will say mummy bought it for me. Even though na your money dem dey spend, the kids will still give the credit to mummy.

Hehehe mummy and daddy are one so it don't matter if the children continuously thinks mummy bought them the goodies . As bukatyne said on Father's Day, daddy get fussed all over. Hehehe

My dear, it is simple. misery loves company. You have no business being divorced and happy whereas they are married and miserable.
Even double whammy, the husbands that insist their subservient wives not to be associated with divorcees. They know they know the wives might just gain some senses and grow wings.

Marriage in itself na journey, every year we make it, We no the kinda thanks We give to God! Will it make sense for us now to be looking down at others! Some put in even more effort and it doesn't work out. I am convinced that if you are truly happy, you want every other person to be happy. Simples.! Just take the looking down as them being envious in disguise jare.

curtain: in addition, I will strictly advice you never to fight or beat her up because if a woman posses the guts to tear off your clothes then beating can only make her develop thick skin. And moreover it has been discovered that some demon possesed women lure men into the habit of beating women making them become like animals when you allow the spirit of women beating to enter you by starting with her you may even end up beating up your mother one day. The best you can do is to take her for deliverance.

Awwwww
They might be oblivious to the discomfort they are causing or they might be doing it on purpose just to break you.
Just endure, some people suffer worse.

I like your wristwatch baby boy
Be a good boy for your mummy and daddy.

jennykadry: Buahahahahahaha I just fell off my high chair oh this year is going to be a good and fulfilling one for me .Vanitty oooo happy new year.

Thanks & Happy new year to you too

Usually I will say be yourself but if your real self stinks, change your attitude!! Don't put up a front, truly have a friendly disposition towards them
Respect the son
Respect his family
Be accomodating
Don't give that ”air” that most lady gives, the I know Him more than you do air

Lmao. Levels dey for this feminism thing.

Feminism has been modified sotay, everybody is a feminist jare, pick and choose whatever suit you amongst their ideaology.

I have met some hardcore feminist likewise the "majority of us" kinda feminism bearing our husband's name, knelt down for hubby during the traditional wedding and sat for the 45 mins approximately while pastor was advising us and quoting the Holy Bible during the church wedding hehehe.

Another analogy that flows i guess are animal lovers - we have the average ones that talk the talk but eat meat etc likewise the ones that throws paint on fur wearers, refuse to even eat egg etc. Pick and choose what suit you and MOST IMPORTANTLY ACT THAT WAY DURING COURTSHIP so when the deed is done, hubby won't come and curse you out on nairaland o

Is the father a lazy bum or just temporarily down on his luck?
Marriage is a partnership, as long as the couple understands each other, all third party should mind their business

Why must we carry the load of the whole world on our head. We are only entitled to ONE spouse legally. Never you mind that feminists are bitter people with bitter marriage experiences

Many a Men loves them some feminists!! Never mind what your idea of marriage is!! If you are not that man, move to one side and go for your own level.

I just love that lady. God will continously bless her for them

Much ado about nothing. In all churches, certain protocols must be observed. In most churches, front row is reserved for pastors, their wives etc. In some churches, pastors have their own parking space, in some churches, you cannot even see pastor without appointment. Next time, you know to call him daddy. Don't let anyone embarass your fiance. If you cant tolerate their ways, go to another church or do court wedding.

Have you loved anyone since he left? I doubt it with your signature. Listen here, if you TRULY loved someone to begin with, you will always have a soft spot for them and the fact that you have an amazing bond (your son) should have made it easier. For the sake of your son, you need to let go of your bitterness, forgive him. In an ideal world, father, mother and children but let me tell you this, we have step fathers that are 10 times the man, the daddy the biological father could ever be so If you think you cant love, respect him, don't do it.

No big deal here. That is the way it is with most couple. The happy ones argue in private as sign of respect to their spouse while the others do it to keep up appearances.

It depends really. I could care less if a stranger verbally abuses me but when feelings comes into it, verbal abuses hurt more. I personally think the aftermath of physical abuse - the betrayer of trust- hurt more than the deed itself....well unless it leads to death. Both are equally as bad jare

Fact is nagging/bad mouth or whatever won't put you in jail as fast as physical violence! That man is lucky he is in Nigeria, were he to be in a more civilised country, the story will be totally different.

Part of bein a man is to be able to control yourself when madam starts. There is nada like equality there, no tits for tats.
And I am an imperfect woman and I know I know I know when we starts ha!