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Stats: 1335585 members, 1966097 topics. Date: Wednesday, 01 April 2015 at 09:00 AM
|Romance / Re: Men: What Do You Prefer She Wears To Bed? by Xionez(m): 12:55am On Mar 30|
OP....wia Barney costume dey na?
|Politics / Re: Attention!!! Attention.... Election Fixture by Xionez(m): 7:14am On Mar 26|
*Notes a slight pleasing and familiar scent in the atmosphere. Turn my back.
Waves and mouths "You just dey come?!"
|Events / Re: Today Is My Birthday. by Xionez(m): 6:06am On Mar 26|
|Family / Re: Why Do Men Appear With All Sort Of Colours On Their Wedding Days by Xionez(m): 2:51pm On Mar 25|
The bride must be silently cursing herself for her ill luck.
|Romance / Re: How Do You Feel When A Lady Who's Not Your Girlfriend Sees Your Joystick ? by Xionez(m): 2:45pm On Mar 25|
I dunno. It wouldn't move me though...may not even notice.
I would probably have shot my eyes to her twins and kept my eyes there till she turns and walks away...then relocate my sight and watch as she jiggles them other twins
Some questions on NL really cracks me up!
|Celebrities / Re: Christina Milan Gushes About Her Relationship; Says ''lil Wayne Is My Man Crush' by Xionez(m): 2:18pm On Mar 25|
Hmm, I see...is that all?
|Celebrities / Re: Photos Of Jlo And Her Adorable Twin Kids At Movie Premiere Yesterday by Xionez(m): 2:09pm On Mar 25|
Receding hairline...at this tender age...na wa o
It iz well
|Celebrities / Re: The Resemblance Between Funke Akindele And Taraji P.henson Is Unbelievable? by Xionez(m): 2:06pm On Mar 25|
OP, wetin u drink wey u come dey see double?!
Na only one pesin dey dat pic na.
Shine ya eyes wella...Election don reach o!
|Celebrities / Re: Celine Dion: 'he Can't Eat So I Feed Him Through A Tube by Xionez(m): 1:56pm On Mar 25|
God, please grant her strength in this trying times.
Let the joy and happiness come back to her now
Let her hubby say she really "Loved Me Back to Life" with the "Power of Love"...she is totally "My Angel".
|Romance / Re: Today Is Sp.erm Appreciation Day by Xionez(m): 6:03pm On Mar 23|
Thank God my pops decided to stick it in the right hole.
A moment of silence to those that were 'cajoled' and 'diverted' from their normal pathway. R.I.P.
|Romance / Re: Should I Sell My Body For Promotion? by Xionez(m): 5:52pm On Mar 23|
Turn the tables around,bro. When she is free, ball into her office and lock the door. Drop your trousers (but not your boxers o, to prevent her pouncing on you) and show your package. Look straight into her eyes and tell her
'If you don't behave yourself and give me that promotion, you are getting none of this'.
Make it stick to her fantasy by juggling your crotch a bit then immediately dress up and walk out.
Once that promotion comes, invite your wife to drop in at odd hours so as to frustrate the woman. With time, she would see how caring you are and frees you.
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|Romance / Re: Is There A Way A MAN Can RESIST This? by Xionez(m): 5:40pm On Mar 23|
That ain't normal.
So if she ages like in 6 years time, how would her physique look like.
Please. I cannot resist a slim pretty lady but that babe over there, I damn can!!!
|Romance / Re: Straight Men Are Now Kissing! You Need To Check This. by Xionez(m): 5:28pm On Mar 23|
If any you try this on me, I SLAP UP!!!
Better look face wells before attempting such.
|Celebrities / Re: Davido's Ex Nishkards Share Sexy Photos With Boobs Open by Xionez(m): 5:21pm On Mar 23|
Mtcheww, please...she can't even compete with most Nairaland cuties.
|Celebrities / Re: 'my Family Is Ready To Shock You'; Peter Okoye Says As He Shares New Family Phot by Xionez(m): 4:33pm On Mar 23|
I would have been in shock...but 7:30 never knack before I switch on my gen.
Make he wait small. Just 3 hours more...
Shirt, no fuel
|Celebrities / Re: If This Man Is The Winner Imagine The Looser ( PICS) by Xionez(m): 4:31pm On Mar 23|
The other opponent must be all right with no scratch.
I'm sure he just laid down after getting frustrated and exhausted from punching this guy left, right and center for 3 hours straight with no end in sight.
Talk about smartness.
|Romance / Re: HILARIOUS: Guy Passes Out While Getting A Lap Dance From Club Girls (see Photos by Xionez(m): 3:49pm On Mar 23|
The guy must have masturbated heavily in his days.
Just one round...of pre-intimacy (can we even call it that?) and he contort's his face like he has blown his load.
The girl in the second pic should not waste her time. The guy is in cool down mode.
|Romance / Re: Woman Who ‘fell In Love With A Tree’ Explains How They Have Sex (photo by Xionez(m): 3:27pm On Mar 23|
Make she try the ones wey dey Sambisa forest, Oloshi!!
|Health / Re: I'm Addicted To Lacasera, How Do I Stop? by Xionez(m): 3:00pm On Mar 23|
Simples. Replace your addiction with something like...Cocaine!!!
Thank me later
|Celebrities / Re: Davido Impregnates A Cute Abuja Babe by Xionez(m): 10:32pm On Mar 15|
IF I HEAR......NA TODAY?!!!!!
Mods, arrest this man!
|Nairaland / General / Re: Stay In This Bathroom For A Day And Get 75 Million Dollars us. Yay Or Nah? by Xionez(m): 10:23pm On Mar 15|
I go jejely balance gidiba for the toilet seat.
Plug my phone to the mains and ear-piece to my ear.
Use my toe to close door.
Open Nairaland.com...life continues
But wait o, na whose toilet be the venue for this press conference?!
|Celebrities / Re: Woman Branded As The World #ugliest# Woman Fight Back In An Inspirational Way by Xionez(m): 10:04pm On Mar 15|
Can't blame her. Its all due to genetics gone wrong.
She would have been one beautiful lady, if you mentally do a reconstruction.
To all those women drinking, smoking, eating unhealthy foods or lack of healthy meals...this might be your end product. Don't go blaming your 'enemies at work/village/river/jungle/home/yard'
I like her guts tho.
|Family / Re: Describe This Cook In One Word by Xionez(m): 5:39pm On Mar 12|
|Nairaland / General / Re: Things Invented By Women by Xionez(m): 12:14am On Mar 07|
So who come invent dil'do?!
|Romance / Re: Did I Do Wrong? by Xionez(m): 12:04am On Mar 07|
OP, u did nothing wrong. Prevention is better than cure. If the damn thing has entered your eyes and gave you an infection or inflammation, would she pay?
The only thing she would say is "Sorry, I didn't know now"
I dislike women that don't respect themselves and are so inconsiderate.
I will not forget the day I entered my bank to meet the CC. I was told to wait a bit so I jejely looked for an available place to sit while I waited to be attended to. I sighted this a seat that was occupied by a big ugly looking designer wannabe hand-bag (I still remember the ugliness. I use it as a yard-stick for ugliness nowadays).
Anyways, I looked to the lady next to it and asked her if it is hers. I got a positive reply.
I then asked her if she could carry it because that was the only seat available. I got a negative reply.
I made a second attempt to reason with her. Same reply.
I rephrased my appeal. Same response with a hint of irritation.
An elderly woman next to her took pity on me and offered me her seat but I declined. I can handle the stress, she is too frail to go through such.
I selected an appropriate spot behind the rows of seat and where AC would reach me well before my boiling point goes through the roof. There I stood for like 30 mins before I was called upon.
I finally got attended to and finished my business. I proceeded to wait outside.
Finally, e-dia-ta strolled out with that disgusting bag on her arm, and was going through her phone. I wanted to approach her but something just told me to wait a little bit.
Alas, karma was smiled on me that day.
The oloshi didn't notice a protruding rod on the concrete floor. She tripped on it and her phone tumbled into the gutter.
I just smiled on this opportunity and walked up to her.
I helped her up and asked if she was ok.
She was so surprised to see me. The look of shock was priceless and basked in her uneasiness. I gave her my handkerchief to dust the dirt off herself, all the while trying to show my utmost concern and care.
She then audaciously pleaded with me "dive in", "wade through" the rotten sludge and "save" her phone. I dey craze!!!!!
I immediately gave her that look we make when someone suddenly breaks open spoilt egg.
She was at loss for words and was gulping air like a catfish.
I just did a 180, heaved my chest and moved on to the next activity on my agenda.
The sweet life.
|Romance / Re: Features You First Look At In A Female Or Male by Xionez(m): 11:14pm On Mar 06|
|Celebrities / Re: Battle Of The Latex Dress - Kim K Vs Rita Ora by Xionez(m): 11:11pm On Mar 06|
RITA ORA HANDS DOWN!
|Nairaland / General / Re: Please Why Are There So Many Premature Ladies On NL Romance Section? by Xionez(m): 10:53pm On Mar 06|
Please, proffer a solution not just raise a topic and sit back.
Every problem should have a possible solution even though its not concrete.
Pa. In every system, if a new vulnerability/loop/bug/backdoor/problem is found in that system, possible solutions are given before the loophole/door/problem gets patched/rectified/fixed/solved/contained. Be it in Medicine, Engineering, Law, Economics, Bus. Admin, Biochemistry, Computer sciences...It applies everywhere.
Its not just about raising alarm. Don't be an inexperienced and inept politician.
|Romance / Re: British Woman Weds Dog In Expensive ‘romantic’ Wedding Ceremony (PHOTO) by Xionez(m): 10:42pm On Mar 06|
So wetin come be her last name nah?!
Mrs. XYZ Bingo?
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