Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

If I don't have, or I'm just barely able to survive, how would I be able to give another person?
I won't give if I'm NOT convinced there is a "need". Ie don't give for "wants"
I won't give if I think there is another way out to solve the problem.
Btw, OP, are you in need now? Why really wait to be given when you can hustle and earn your own dough?
People not giving is NOT an excuse to do crime. Nobody except your parents(to an extent)owes you anything.

Oleros: Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

Oleros: Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

Does it have to do with the value system people consider to be NIGERIAN? Could be? Nigerians per capita are some of the lowest donors in the world. When it comes to donating to causes, Nigeria ranks really low, yet for a country with the most number of religious entities, you would think the opposite ought to be the case given the Bible says "Give and it shall be given unto you". I am sure the Quran says something about as similar.

I feel it has to do with how many were brought up. I am advocate for better mothering and fathering . . . I believe many of the ills in our society today are as a result of people not raised well enough for them to at least respect the next man and empathize with the poor enough to do whatever it is they can to help. Many who live down there look down on the poor in the society, as if they(the poor) chose that life for themselves. And I believe that is why things like what happened in Makoko recently coulc happen and not a single public outcry against it. The foreign media carried the news of the destruction for days but not a single outcry in the Nigerian newspapers. . . not even the many so-called big men in Lagos spoke up against it.
I believe the future of this nation, and the black race lies squarely on the shoulders of parents. If you raise kids who do not believe in taking society along with them on their road to success, then what good are those kids to any nation?

Ujujoan:

It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

interesting

@topic
because ''the boy is gud'',apa lo n je be.

Kobojunkie:

Does it have to do with the value system people consider to be NIGERIAN? Could be? Nigerians per capita are some of the lowest donors in the world. When it comes to donating to causes, Nigeria ranks really low, yet for a country with the most number of religious entities, you would think the opposite ought to be the case given the Bible says "Give and it shall be given unto you". I am sure the Quran says something about as similar.

I feel it has to do with how many were brought up. I am advocate for better mothering and fathering . . . I believe many of the ills in our society today are as a result of people not raised well enough for them to at least respect the next man and empathize with the poor enough to do whatever it is they can to help. Many who live down there look down on the poor in the society, as if they(the poor) chose that life for themselves. And I believe that is why things like what happened in Makoko recently coulc happen and not a single public outcry against it. The foreign media carried the news of the destruction for days but not a single outcry in the Nigerian newspapers. . . not even the many so-called big men in Lagos spoke up against it.
I believe the future of this nation, and the black race lies squarely on the shoulders of parents. If you raise kids who do not believe in taking society along with them on their road to success, then what good are those kids to any nation?

Isn't it just typical of people to blame every ills on 'parenting'

Sometimes our parents are the reasons why we don't help. I remember nasty incidences of how my parents got burnt trying to help relatives and freinds. Makes me more inclined NOT to help . . .

Ujujoan:
It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

Well said

help financial did you say?

they will reign your life. i helped a business partner with 1million Naira, with the hope to return the money back after six months
he was aware i want to use the money for my schooling abroad. up till date, is being four months since i graduated from my school abroad, he is yet to pay me,
when i call he doesn't pick my calls, on top of it, he threatens me.

for me o, Oju anu ti blind

Selfishness

Oleros: Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

shaaatap dis one na style wey ucari dey beg for moni i talk am say beggers don go nuclear, pls modrators having observed all protocols i hereby move a motion for the suspension of op from all nairaland matas pending and set upa commitee to probe dis unaccetable e-beggeing,

OYO mentality, survival of the fittest.

People rarely give out arms on d road side which happens to be d most popular way d needy takes to. Many help d poor in d church cos of how dangerous our society is now. Many needys are not truly in need. Many of them are lazy. Eg. I saw a healthy young girl wit two legs and hands wit a child on her back using small basin in begging on d road. On that same road were small children selling snacks and pure water. Can you give out help to Such?

Uju, u are very much on point on this, mostly dat 1st point of yrs...

d fact is that no one has an excuse. most of us who claim to have were at one point like those who dont have but the difference is that we chose not to remain in that state. we chose to hustle and do clean stuffs to get money. even if i give my hard earned money to this people it will b e of no use cos they will spend it and return back to where they were.

chiover: shaaatap dis one na style wey ucari dey beg for moni i talk am say beggers don go nuclear, pls modrators having observed all protocols i hereby move a motion for the suspension of op from all nairaland matas pending and set upa commitee to probe dis unaccetable e-beggeing,

My mum helped sumone in 'need' and paid 4 her good 'deeds'.

Personally, I will speak for myself.
I learned something from experience and noticed the successful people also make use of, and that's " the power of giving".

I try never for be miserly/stingy and also never extragavant /wasteful. No one comes with a problem and leaving without having at least some of it being solved. Be it financial, moral or emotional.

I have gotten to realize that the more you give the more you get.

The sad part is, people always always and always take you for granted when you give. Also people respect and adore people who make them suffer before rendering any form of assistance to them. They hardly value those who help them without making them go through any form of suffering.

Inshort, blackman likes things the hard way as that's the only way he appreciates it, and as such people only help after putting someone on the burning furnance.

Also don't forget an average black man thinks if he helps you to be successful then who will be there to slave for him and his family.

Ujujoan:

It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

You're so right. But we should not because of these baggage that come once in a while not assist people in need. Though it's advisable that if you must help just try as much as possible to keep the person away from you. For instance, i don't support the idea of getting a job for someone that's close to you in the same place that you work except there's not alternative.

Ujujoan:

Isn't it just typical of people to blame every ills on 'parenting'

Sometimes our parents are the reasons why we don't help. I remember nasty incidences of how my parents got burnt trying to help relatives and freinds. Makes me more inclined NOT to help . . .

There is nothing typical about blaming every ill on 'parenting'. The home happens to be the first place kids are exposed to most of the basic structure they need in life. If a child is not exposed to what it means to give, and how good it feels from a young age, then the likelihood of that child growing up a giver are slim.

The kind of help you mostly described there is not what the @Poster is talking of(I think).

If you give, give and let go. Much of what people describe here are of people giving and EXPECTING SOMETHING IN RETURN . . in the form of, I don't know "thank yous", future gifts etc. That is not how to give. When you give, you need to LET GO. LET IT BE as if nothing happened. There are tons of people out there in Nigeria who when they give, they then make themselves MONITORS over you. That is not helping.

Just because you made a donation to a school in Afghanistan does not mean some of those kids will not try to blow themselves up to kill you later. There is something bigger than that about this.

afam4eva:
You're so right. But we should not because of these baggage that come once in a while not assist people in need. Though it's advisable that if you must help just try as much as possible to keep the person away from you. For instance, i don't support the idea of getting a job for someone that's close to you in the same place that you work except there's not alternative.

So there should be seperate rules for people close to us

Aint we supposed to want to work with people we know rather than strangers

Ujujoan:

It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

All the above happens EVERYWHERE on this planet, yet Nigerians as a whole, the most religious people on the planet are some of the worst givers on the same planet.

Kobojunkie:

There is nothing typical about blaming every ill on 'parenting'. The home happens to be the first place kids are exposed to most of the basic structure they need in life. If a child is not exposed to what it means to give, and how good it feels from a young age, then the likelihood of that child growing up a giver are slim.

The kind of help you describe is not what the @Poster is saying here. If you give, give and let go. Much of what you describe is of people giving and EXPECTING SOMETHING IN RETURN . . in the form of, I don't know "thank yous", future gifts etc. That is not how to give. When you give, you need to LET GO. LET IT BE as if nothing happened. There are tons of people out there in Nigeria who when they give, they then make themselves MONITORS over you. That is not helping.

I'm sorry how does giving someone a lift translate to giving and expecting something in return

What can a little neiece give someone for training her in school

Do you just NOT understand what people post?

If all we do we learn from our parents, then why do responsible parents give birth to theives and pro[i]st[/i]itutes

Kobojunkie:

All the above happens EVERYWHERE on this planet, yet Nigerians as a whole, the most religious people on the planet are some of the worst givers on the same planet.

Please help me out here . . . what has my post got to do with RELIGION?

First you talk about parenting, and now you talk about religion!

Stop confusing people please!

Ujujoan:

Please help me out here . . . what has my post got to do with RELIGION?

First you talk about parenting, and now you talk about religion!

Stop confusing people please!

um . . . go back to my first post and read.

acidtalk: Personally, I will speak for myself.
I learned something from experience and noticed the successful people also make use of, and that's " the power of giving".

I try never for be miserly/stingy and also never extragavant /wasteful. No one comes with a problem and leaving without having at least some of it being solved. Be it financial, moral or emotional.

I have gotten to realize that the more you give the more you get.

The sad part is, people always always and always take you for granted when you give. Also people respect and adore people who make them suffer before rendering any form of assistance to them. They hardly value those who help them without making them go through any form of suffering.

Inshort, blackman likes things the hard way as that's the only way he appreciates it, and as such people only help after putting someone on the burning furnance.

Also don't forget an average black man thinks if he helps you to be successful then who will be there to slave for him and his family.

You're right. people take cheerful givers for granted. They respect people that make them suffer before they give them money. Something similar happened to me.

@op why are you talking like this na? How many people you don beg cheese for nairaland dem no give you, abi you don ask me I no give you?

Ujujoan:

So there should be seperate rules for people close to us

Aint we supposed to want to work with people we know rather than strangers

Not necessarily. It has a way of backfiring sometimes.

Oleros: Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

Read 48 laws of power

Kobojunkie:

All the above happens EVERYWHERE on this planet, yet Nigerians as a whole, the most religious people on the planet are some of the worst givers on the same planet.

It's only Nigerians, as far as I know, that struggle to send money home to their parents and long- distant relatives.

It's only in Nigeria that a man will house his children, his sister's children and his brother's children in his one room apartment, in the name of 'helping'.

Just because Nigeria's donor-figures are low you concluded that Nigerians are the worst givers

Interesting!

We refuse to help people financially partly because we need financial help ourselves.

Some wil come begging on their knees, borrow them and u'd eventually end up begging, wishing and hoping in fact fasting and praying to get ur money back. They'll avoid u and even change number. Some are not jst credit worthy.

Timing may be wrong. U may be in a fix urself, for instance, u already hv 'needful' plans

Reasons for borrowing: Some people's reasons which they see as 'needs' may jst be 'wants' under closer examination. I want to pay rent and u want to entertain ur new chick this wkend

That guy dat comes to u wit a well packaged sweet 'sentimental'& 'reasonable' bullsht story will end up wit his new chick in d cinemas to see batman: dark knight rises

Ujujoan:

I'm sorry how does giving someone a lift translate to giving and expecting something in return

What can a little neiece give someone for training her in school

Do you just NOT understand what people post?

If all we do we learn from our parents, then why do responsible parents give birth to theives and pro[i]st[/i]itutes

Um. . . do you mind checking your emotions at the door please? Nowhere have I said ALL WE DO, OUR PARENTS are RESPONSIBLE FOR. Not sure where you get that.

a) When you give someone a lift, there is that likelihood that that person is a criminal. You giving the lift should not do so because you expect that in the case the person is a criminal, he will spare you. You give the lift because it is what you want to do, for you, at the time.

b) Training your niece in school is great, but don't expect her to then SPARE YOU from whatever else there may be as a result. Even people who did not train their nieces fall to the same.

I gave the example of giving to schools in Afghanistan even when you know that those kids might someday seek to blow you up . . . Giving, again, is not about what you can get from others but what you gain from giving as a person.