My friend was a christian, he went visiting a friend on that faithful day. His mum said he must have been slaughtered in the area he went to. It was an hausa zone.

Morning 2 y'll.
Brighter days ahead.
U guys are d bst, God bless.

Hehehe, Teeo says, '... Or why is it that Yoruba muslims don't kill Yoruba christians?

Have Yoruba people finished dancing to start thinking of who to start killing. I think if Yoruba people gather en-mass to kill, once they form a crowd, they would forget what they came for and start a party!

Hohohoho, I'm actually having fun looking for Yoruba people's trouble cuz Tgirl seems to be missing!

@Breathing u have come with ur breathe of fresh(with bad odour) air. First u did the aborminable by supporting Badluck Jonah, secondly u stated that u hate using water after the pooo.

I didnt want to say anything yesterday but today u have brought the battle home.

To answer you about yesterday; tissue paper sucks to me, it cant wipe the behind clean at all. Water is the best of all and it isnt just yorubas who do it. Hygiene makes u wash ur hand after using the loo. Most people who wipe with tissue forget to wash their hands.

Maybe u do that too. And when i was in du.... I washed my behind with water also...

I dont know why u hate yorubas, and u said something about hating the thought that ur coming back to yoruba land. Better stay in the east oooo plsss. Duhhh

skillet dont take sides plssssss

thats really bad. what options do you people have?

:Pℓ☺ℓ Teeeeeeeeo, yay I knew mentioning Yoruba people again so soon would finally get someone to answer my yesterday's questions.

Let's not make a poo thread out of this, I'd totally hug you when I see you, just remember to keep your palms away.

I really don't hate Yoruba people ouch! How do you define hate!

farydah: Hmmmnnnn Skillet yea i live in jos as matter of fact im from plateau state. U schooled in Film Institute? Cool. Was around the school today sef.

Well, the stories are sadly, true. Its horrifying even tho i havent seen any dead bodies from the voilence but i have friends whose houses were razed down and also relations who have been affected. Cant remember any close friend or relative dying tho(thankfully). Yea im a christian. Farydah's just a moniker I've alwais loved.

But running with my laptop, credentials and a few essentials during crises is kinda a staple in my life right now.

Lucky for me(not my whole fam tho) i schooled outside jos so i rarely witnessed crises.

I remember when i was in my 3rd year in the uni and there was crises! All i could do was cry and call without cease! I was terrified for my fam. I kept urging my mum to leave with my younger sis and cousin and they kept delaying until the Hausas surrounded our house!! When they told me, i think its the pounding in my head and my tears that kept me from fainting! My sister who drives was in law school at the time so nobody to drive! My mother, luckily, peeped over the fence(house is on a rise) and she shouted to MOPOL to come and rescuee them. Thats how they escaped to barracks! Phew
That same night, we were told our neighbour's house had been set ablaze and we share a fence so asking about ours, they said twas safe.....huh?! We didnt believe them until my mum came back and confirmeed by herself. Dis is just one of the many crises tales I've heard or witnessed.

Where i reside, there's just a thin boundary between christians and muslims so d area is usually tense and ready to explode at the first sign of trouble!

God has been faithful sha as my sis is married and living in a safe part of town so we alwais relocate if things get serious....houses and cars can be burnt but lives cant be regained.

BTW, we live in our personal house hence the reluctance to move. God dey sha

OMG: this is like proper fiction...wow, to think this was happenning in your own backyard:Literally...We thank GOD for your folks' lives...shame...this is stuff I watch on t.v...is it true they bomb churches every sunday? I have a friend who travelled to Nigeria earlier this year/last year christmas and she said there was a curfew in the North (Jos or Kaduna, I'm not too sure) and so her mum and sister had to return (to my present location) one week later as they could not leave the house....this violence, sef, why na?

teeo: @Breathing u have come with ur breathe of fresh(with bad odour) air. First u did the aborminable by supporting Badluck Jonah, secondly u stated that u hate using water after the pooo.

I didnt want to say anything yesterday but today u have brought the battle home.

To answer you about yesterday; tissue paper sucks to me, it cant wipe the behind clean at all. Water is the best of all and it isnt just yorubas who do it. Hygiene makes u wash ur hand after using the loo. Most people who wipe with tissue forget to wash their hands.

Maybe u do that too. And when i was in du.... I washed my behind with water also...

I dont know why u hate yorubas, and u said something about hating the thought that ur coming back to yoruba land. Better stay in the east oooo plsss. Duhhh

skillet dont take sides plssssss

LOL....so i wasn't the only one reading the thread on cleaning up in the loo? LOL at the stuff nairalanders come up with...Using water makes me envision this scenario:
Ok, so you go to the loo, do your business, wash the backside well well, using both hands for emphasis....then you realise there's no soap in the bathroom...wifey's calling out dinner is ready,come now, oh... you go downstairs and there is no electricity...but she tells you its your favourite: Pounded yam and ila/ogbonna soup...(you have to lick your fingers)
what would you do?
EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW...
I think Tissue does its job, but i agree it doesn't do the best job at times...but still, the water thing traumatises me..

erm, on the issue of water versus tissue, tissue wins, everytimme.

i would rather, you left your skid marks in your pants than on my palms, after a handshake, or on my face, when you are helping me burst a pimple, or in my mouth, when you pass me a cigarsette.

but since we all have to co exist in this world, the liliputians and the homynims, the big enders and the little enders, i say a litte prayer before i shake or allow anybody to touch my face. and i fast before i eat outside.

and my dear brother teeo, bright does not like jonathan. she calls him a mumu. i had to ask her to stop. because in my opinion. GOODLUCK JONATHAN IS THE BEST PRESIDENT WE EVER HAD.

i can only guess what your complaints about him are but he you can mention a few, i will try to show you why i have that notion. and please i beg you in the name of your best girlfriend either edit the bad odor part of that post directed at my babe, or substitute your babes name with hers.

it is a double post, but let me use it.

bright, what you are doing to the yoruba people is called racial profiling and its not funny. okay, maybe a bit funny, but you must understand that its discrimination of some sort.

as i type right now am laughing at all your incidences of racial profiling and how teeo might have felt reading it all.

babe, biko nu, calm down. it is true that teeo, would rather drink beer than fight you, but that is a good thing kwanu.

my brother tee, please forgive her and look at what one guy in the diary section wrote about us ibos. his name is hafiz of my nysc diaries. he said we eat people and that our ways are crooked. see, everybody profiles according to race and ethnicity.

^^ so true....I was told (by parents and people around me) that an Ibo guy could sell his mum at the right price just to make money...I'm also told you guys also like yellow Garri...but, since my best friend is an Ibo, I'm not hating...I like the fact that before he can settle down, an Ibo guy will make sure he has 'made it' before marrying a wife and worrying her with financial woes...but then, that means alot of them marry old...what is it with grown ibo men and jewellery? Uhn? you would thing they were advertising the shine-shine kingdom or something.....and the preying on young girls
dont get me wrong, I have my own fair share of Ibo guy crushes (Nonso Diobi, Uti Nwachukwu ...) to name a few but still...stereotypes tend to stick.
Look at the people from yoruba land for instance, those from Ogun state (e.g our favourite Seun) are said to be Ijebu and hence stingy with money.....well, you see my dad's family is from Ijebu, which makes me Ijebu, which means.....well, I can be tight-fisted at times but my dad isn't..so, you see...stereotypes....
At the same time, I wathced this Akwa-ibom movie the other day (Edikan) with Ini Edo and Nse talking about how people stereotype children from Akwa-Ibom as witches....#AFRICANS SEF!

ok bros Skillet, @breathing with a breathe of fresh air. Take that as my bad. Apologises for my outburst, i soo love the Ibos so i get really angry when they dont like the yorubas.

This started far back as secondary school, i had one chinyere in my class. She always abused yorubas, its annoying when she emphasize them like; Yorubas wee in poo at night in their rooms, Yorubas eat amala dudu, Yoruba do short put, Yorubas are dirty bla bla bla...

When Breathing made her comments i just had a flash back that was what made me burst out. Am sorry

@Skillet thank goodness u knew i would rather have 3bottles of a taste of greatness than quarrel with your babe.....

I have had enough of my share in the front row. I would go back to my shy mood and await SOM's arrival.....

Novel mood activated..

@teeo: Sounds like a traumatic childhood.....
@Guitarlife: welcome oh! feel free to post sometin small small...I see you..

@alosiby92 that incident didnt make my childhood traumatic ooo. We are still best of friends and she always singled me and another girl out of the pack of "DIRTY" yorubas. But i have this human rights activist attitude so i didnt always like it.

but what really makes us nigerians is the ability to laugh at ourselves. these stereotypes are the only reason the entertainment industry is huge all over the world. people always look out for and encourage them. thats why jim iyke will always be a lover boy, and knight rider has a 2011 release, over 10 after the first one came out.

Awwww Teeo, come here»» for a hug, but still no palms please, lolzzzz.

I am still surprised that you would think I hate Yoruba people sha, my CRUSH is Yoruba for godsakes, how can I single out a whole tribe and hate them? Even if they wash their butt with their hands after business, is that enough reason to hate anyone? Hate is a really strong word to have used, I don't even dislike Yoruba people. Hate is Boko Haram ish

Ok I accept I'm curious about them and I enjoy having fun with all the stereotypes attached to Yoruba people, and I wish I could promise to stop now, but I enjoy it too much to stop now, especially since I'd be spending the whole year with them, besides I see people poke at Igbos all the time, it's just funny, nothing else attached.

I've heard a lot about them, and I'm in Dubai to either confirm or debunk them, so don't get worked up so soon, cuz I've got loads of Yoruba people stories coming-no hate attached!

And what I said about not wanting to go back to Yoruba people's land, that wasn't even part of it. I just didn't want to say Dubai so that new readers might know that the place I refer to as Dubai, is really not Dubai, and I didn't wanna name the place too. And the reason I don't wana go back yet is cuz I don't have a house there yet, and life there for now is just stressful. I wasn't even looking for trouble when I said that one.

As for saying I support GEJ, I think you should meet up with Tgirl so that you guys could start up an association of people that read from the back.
Lolzzzz. Love you too o Teeo.

LOL@ Skillet: If the person was hausa, perhaps they'd have a hidden boko-haram grenade to kill everyone but themselves, If Ibo maybe say something like: biko, let me go and bury my mama first, why did you drag me to this place? Oginni? now you want me to die, die for who?
If yoruba: Is alright, no problem. I will go, even If I die...just make sure Yinka Ayefele plays at my funeral..

@ Breathing: your post in your diary about dating Ibo guys..Lmno(laughing my nyarsh off)..I personally think both parties should pay for the date so nobody owes nobody....follow you to your house for what? to study Biology? EHn...so I should visit you in hospital, abi? I'll be the one to send you there! After taking me to a mere fast-food joint? Mscheeeeeeeew! How cheap do you think I am?, or is it ASHAWO that you can read written on my forehead?

@Lucky gurl: congrats on making it...its waec, right? more grease to your elbow and all that...

ℓ☺ℓ, Alosiby, most times they are too horney to read whatever it is you wrote on your forehead o.

Having internet access only at school must be pretty distracting for you?

LOL..Is it that obvious? Anyways, i'm off to lectures..

ℓ☺ℓ, not that obvious jor, I'm just saying cuz it was kinda like that when I was in school too. We had free wireless connection in class and none in the hostels. My class used to look like a cyber cafe, lolzzz.

now, where is that alosiby? bright good afternoon. why is molly not here yet? someone please tell her am missin her.

yes where is alosiby? something she said yesterday finally made sense. kept me awake all night. okay i exegerate. but all the same.

she said she was told by her mom, that ibos like yellow garri and i kept wondering what other kind of garri there was. it didnt occur to me that white garri existed. not until i called my sister and asked her and she said they also have ijebu garri.

mind you, not white garri, but ijebu garri.

so, alosiby, you people have a garri named after you. i hail o! if that one na stereotype, then that typewriter na baba.

Lmao @typewriter

Morn abi na gud afternoon pple.

Alosiby, in reference to ur comment ysdy on crisis in jos, naxo we see am oooo

Hmm. No b small thing dey happen for here o!

At last! We Ijebus have done something to be proud of!! Garri- the basic neccessity for all nigerians! See, yorubas aint that bad...
wait, I guess I meant that their Garri was yellow on another level......
@breathing: your previous comment made me want to disable my nairaland account and focus on my books...but then again, one has to rest once in a while.....LOl at the cyber cafes..over here I guess its the same, computer labs get packed....
Well, guys, have to go home now...till another day..

@skillet All the Igbos i know its either Yellow garri or no garri.
When i was still in school in HND1, my roomate in the hostel was Igbo, he wld first pour palmoil inside the water he wants to use to prepare garri all in the bid to make it yellow. His reasons were that, it must be yellow before he calls it garri....

Isnt that stereotyping

Awww Alosiby, why would you wanna do that, you know what all work and no play does to you and Jack, lolzzzz. Anyway, you can't even disable your handle if you tried. This is nairaland, when you are in, you are in, welcome to the brotherhood of the star and sun! Btw, what does alosiby mean?

Skillet: It's like you are beginning to love this thread more than you love your diary!

Fyngal: Update us nah!

Farydah: hi

@ breathing:I definitely will

@Breathing: which kind Garri you dey chop, no be extremely yellow one?) By the way, I think you are right about this nairaland..is there even a way to disable an account?

@teeo, thanks for backing me up...I know what I'm saying...yellow garri with extra yellowness due the aid of palm oil...LMNO!

@skillet: so I gave you sleepless nights? mmmm, YOU, skillet? #wonders

@Farydah: How were lectures?

@ Everyone..could someone please give molly and Tgirl/mama and sixteen directions to this thread?
By the way, what does "Manogede" mean? I heard it in Skales' song "Mukulu" and in another song...In my head, the tranlation is "I'll beat the banana" or "don't beat the banana" (I'm not that well dictioned in Yoruba slang words) but I'm sure thats not what it means....