I know of a couple who as only one child,a boy who is 5 years old. The husband as said no more kids,just one is ok. Wife wants more,at least 1 more kid,either a boy or girl considering the fact that there is so much pressure on the wife from both families to have more kids. Now she as decided to go ahead and stop her pills inother to have another baby WHITHOUT her hubby approval.

This couple are VERY okay medically and are VERY VERY confortable financially so mony to raise another kid isnt the issue...
Now my question is should the wife go ahead Between the husband and wife who determines whether to have another baby Bearing in mind that the woman can decide to stop her pills and get pregnant at her will (which wouldnt be fair on the husband)...

Well depends on the woman really. If she is a responsible woman, she should not get her husband trapped into another child. If she is like us whores in the cabal, who gives a damn about the man? We never shacked up with them because they had brains.

Op, lyk u wrote, it wont be fair on d husband. Y dont u tell her to try convincing her husband some more? Wit good reasons, he ll give in

I don't think its okay to force unwanted responsibilities on a man no matter the case.
What happened during courtship?
Wasn't the number of kids they'd both love to have discussed and decided??
How come she now doesn't want what her husband wants?

You all are very right with your point, the only reason the man dosnt want another child is having not to worry over many kids.... He says having only ONE child is enough inother to raise him in the best possible way. But the wife is despirate and wants another child and hubby as bluntly refused,she feels so sad and thinks her hubby is selfish....

She should wait, give the man and economy some time before raising the issue again.

Then the man need to practice safe sex if he doesn't want any more children. It is common sense.

She should use her womanly powers to convince the man.

@OP
what this woman is about to do is not only wrong but also a sure way to end up a single divorced mother, as i would certainly quickly divorce such woman if i was her husband. if she has any wishes for children or big family then there are many ways to solve that instead of deceitfully imposing a child on that man who trusts her fully. obviously, this woman has no idea what HONESTY, TRUST and RESPECT means in marriage, cause if she did she wouldnt come up with such schemes.

having a baby is NOT a small joke and BOTH parents need to agree to have it, not just ONE. they are a FAMILY, and thats what families do, they sit down and take decisions together......... so if they disagree on this issue, then they need more time to settle it maturely, but none of them should force the other one to accept the other's choice selfishly and deceptively like that.

this lady is clearly NOT thinking straight!!!!

i will never use pills.
she should invent some weird illness and tell her hubby it is side effect of using pills then stop to have that '1' more '5' more

as long as she has a job, why not.

armyofone: i will never use pills.
she should invent some weird illness and tell her hubby it is side effect of using pills then stop to have that '1' more '5' more

as long as she has a job, why not.

Hope she wont bother the husband with the upbringing if it was her sole decision to have a child

Hmmmmm...

This is a "before" discussion point.

Having said that, it is wrong for either spouse to make unilateral pronouncements of this nature. Be that by diktat, by deceit or by any other way. It can breed resentment and ill-will, which can escalate, with more serious and potentially destructive consequences.

In as much as there are no medical or financial impediments to their having further children, madam should rather "entreat" her husband in the first instance. Lots to be said here, about hubby, mummy and their son. Keep talking. Communication is key.

Although it's not first and foremost about them, is "hubby" oblivious to the family pressure? I wonder if he'd feel the same way if their child was a girl. His stated reason for having just the one doesn't appear to hold that much water. One more sonds like a reasonable compromise. Since it hasn't been said, I won't speculate on there being anything deeper.

Hmmmmm...

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If both of them are finacially stable,what stops them from having more kids? The man must be hiding something from the woman.probably he has kids from another woman.if I were to be the lady,I will stop taking the pills and get pregnant! Simple! Of course he can't tell me to abort it.

berem: If both of them are finacially stable,what stops them from having more kids? The man must be hiding something from the woman.probably he has kids from another woman.if I were to be the lady,I will stop taking the pills and get pregnant! Simple! Of course he can't tell me to abort it.

So would he be held responsible for the upkeep of a child you had on your own accord?

berem: If both of them are finacially stable,what stops them from having more kids? The man must be hiding something from the woman.probably he has kids from another woman.if I were to be the lady,I will stop taking the pills and get pregnant! Simple! Of course he can't tell me to abort it.

are you saying that a man who is financially stable, and only desires ONE kid, must AUTOMATICALLY be hiding something?

although he cant force you to abort, he can surely leave your deceitful self....but then again, to some women, its having kids at ANY COSTS!

So far,the only reason the man has given to his wifey for wantin to have only one child is to be able to raise the child properly and as i heard the couple has been on this issue of having another child sin their son was 2years and some months,so you all can imagine how much the wife as pleaded with her hubby and pressure on her before she now decides she will stop her pills so she can have anoda child. As for me i dont think she is asking for too much oo...

If you want more children and your husband goes to do vasectomy

Or you dont want children yet your husband put holes in his condom

dayokanu:

So would he be held responsible for the upkeep of a child you had on your own accord?

why would he not be responsible? Is he not the father of the child? C'mon let's be realistic here! The pressure is coming from the inlaws for them to have more kids.now the woman might get the heap of the blames because they might think she can't have more kids.what type of flimsy excuse does the man want to tell both his parents and inlaws? Having one more kid won't make him become poor.

berem: why would he not be responsible? Is he not the father of the child? C'mon let's be realistic here! The pressure is coming from the inlaws for them to have more kids.now the woman might get the heap of the blames because they might think she can't have more kids.what type of flimsy excuse does the man want to tell both his parents and inlaws? Having one more kid won't make him become poor.

Are they having kids for the inlaws? ARe the inlaws the ones who would change diapers at night, stay awake, pay the fees and other stuff involved in child rearing

Bill Clinton has only one child, Is it that he is unable to have more or too poor to maintain more?

taryour: So far,the only reason the man has given to his wifey for wantin to have only one child is to be able to raise the child properly and as i heard the couple has been on this issue of having another child sin their son was 2years and some months,so you all can imagine how much the wife as pleaded with her hubby and pressure on her before she now decides she will stop her pills so she can have anoda child. As for me i dont think she is asking for too much oo...

what a flimsy excuse the man is giving! He dare not tell his inlaws or parents this trash! How proper does he wanna train the child? Does that mean other couples who are well to do who have more than a kid don't train their kids properly?of course she isn't asking for much.if I were to be her I will stop the pills!

Not that I encourage her in anyway to have a kid without first making sure they are on the same page, but I think folks should spend a bit more time learning of the person they chose before tying the knot. The excuse she gives you there is not a good enough excuse. We are humans for pete's sake and we deserve better, let alone a wife. I can imagine that she is tortured by this, but she married him she has to deal with it.

dayokanu:

Are they having kids for the inlaws? ARe the inlaws the ones who would change diapers at night, stay awake, pay the fees and other stuff involved in child rearing

Bill Clinton has only one child, Is it that he is unable to have more or too poor to maintain more?

if bill clinton had one child, probably its an agreement between him and his wife.unless they might have fertility problem.but in this case the wife wants more kids but the man said no!supposing the child was a female,do u think the man will not think of having another child immediately?

berem: if bill clinton had one child, probably its an agreement between him and his wife.unless they might have fertility problem.but in this case the wife wants more kids but the man said no!supposing the child was a female,do u think the man will not think of having another child immediately?

Your point is she should just have the child to satisfy the inlaws.

I think a child is supposed to be wanted by both parent, So what justice are you doing to the child when the father already doesnt want him/her.

So the child would be born knowing the father didnt want him but the mother deceived him into having a child.

No wonder some kids are not loved

Any educated couple plans for their kids. If the woman is willing to take full responsibility for the child from birth to marriage, then I say tell him this and sign a contract. Otherwise, plan together.

Which one is husband's approval again? Why didn't they discuss this before marriage? Anyway, the husband has no right to say 'no more and that's that' especially if they can afford to have another. They need to sit down and discuss and if the man's being unreasonable then abeg woman full steam ahead, have the baby let us see if he will throw it in the dustbin...mitschewwww!

The husband has got to be the most selfish being in God's green earth. The woman should stop taking pills abeg. Tell the man to go get a vasectomy or better still castrate himself if he feels so strongly about not having more kids.
Imagine! I want the kid and you are making me take pills in order to not have kids that i so desperately want. That cannot happen!!

Kobojunkie: Not that I encourage her in anyway to have a kid without first making sure they are on the same page, but I think folks should spend a bit more time learning of the person they chose before tying the knot. The excuse she gives you there is not a good enough excuse. We are humans for pete's sake and we deserve better, let alone a wife. I can imagine that she is tortured by this, but she married him she has to deal with it.

I agree with you. The man no get sense. OP, tell him I said so.

Why on earth will a man decide NOT to have more kids after one child wothout regards for how the wife feels about it

Did they agree to have only one child BEFORE they got married?

If money or health is not the issue, then why is the man being stubborn?

We all know the pressure women go through here in Nigeria when it comes to having children!

If the man didn't make it clear to the woman BEFORE marriage that he wants just one child, then he's a very selfish and heartless person!

If I were the woman, I'll go ahead and have more kids, if he doesn't like it, he can take a hike!

2mch: Any educated couple plans for their kids. If the woman is willing to take full responsibility for the child from birth to marriage, then I say tell him this and sign a contract. Otherwise, plan together.

Puh -leee - se!

This is Nigeria.

You guys should stop confusing us with all you oyinbo metality!

Which one be sign contract again? Tifiakwa!

jennykadrry: Well depends on the woman really. If she is a responsible woman, she should not get her husband trapped into another child. If she is like us whores in the cabal, who gives a damn about the man? We never shacked up with them because they had brains.

I dont think having another child is 'trapping'!

They are already married with one kid, he's already 'trapped'!

If he doesn't give a GOOD reason why he doesnt want more kids, then I say to hell with him.

Bludeville: The husband has got to be the most selfish being in God's green earth. The woman should stop taking pills abeg. Tell the man to go get a vasectomy or better still castrate himself if he feels so strongly about not having more kids.
Imagine! I want the kid and you are making me take pills in order to not have kids that i so desperately want. That cannot happen!!

Exactly, someone that doesn't want kids firing live bullets on an ongoing basis when his wife's tubes are not tied or her uterus has not been removed or something? Imagine the nonsense. Does he realize the pill doesn't work 100%?. He needs to take responsibility for his own birth control if he's so bent on not having any more kids. The wife herself must be a little mad sha. So she's wanted another child and has continued taking daily pills for 3 years? That's some crazy a*ss commitment to something you don't desire.