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A Response To Chris Oyakhilome - Religion - Nairaland

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A Response To Chris Oyakhilome by Nobody: 7:06am On Sep 09, 2012
Hi All,

I was doing a private bible study / research and i stumbled across this in one of my books... It reads Autosexuality... why it is believed to be sinful and why its not (the likes of Oyakhilome & co). Taking a good look at the text supplied by Dr. Ed. Murphy in his book; The Handbook For Spiritual Warfare, it sheds more light on the topic and I would advice all to read.

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Autosexuality

Uncleanness or impurity covers not only the practice of homosexuality, but also that of self-stimulation, otherwise known as masturbation. Webster defines masturbation as the “stimulation of the genital organs to orgasm, achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse.” There would probably be general acceptance among physicians and counselors on this or a similar definition of masturbation. The essence of the practice then would be bringing about orgasm by any means other than sexual intercourse.

Toward a Useful Definition
I have difficulty with this broad definition, however. That is why I prefer the narrower term “sexual self-stimulation.” This definition emphasizes self-gratification, a form of narcissism. It is a totally self-centered sexual activity through self-stimulation to the point of orgasm. I also like Norman L. Geisler’s word for this practice. He calls it “autosexuality.” Webster’s definition would mean that almost all married couples practice masturbation at different times in their married life when full sexual intercourse is not possible or advisable for one of the marriage partners for various reasons. It would also mean that some married couples regularly practice masturbation, particularly women who are not able to reach orgasm without manual stimulation by their mate. Often when this situation exists there is enough personal trauma without adding to it the idea that masturbation is being engaged in.

Psychologist Earl D. Wilson recognizes this reality in his excellent chapter on masturbation in his helpful book Sexual Sanity. Wilson writes, “Masturbation is necessary for some couples in order to achieve maximum sexual adjustment.” When I counsel married couples who face this type of personal problem I never use the word masturbation to refer to their practice. I prefer the term “manual stimulation.” Even though we live in an era of so-called sexual liberation, among sensitive Christians there is still shame connected with the word “masturbation.” To heap that shame on an already troubled woman or man is unfair and unwise.

My definition of masturbation then would be the practice of self-stimulation to the point of orgasm by whatever means. The focus is on self-stimulation. It is a form of self-sex involving a preoccupation with one’s own sexual organs and orgasm. Most Christian authors I have read hold to a somewhat more flexible view of autosexuality than I do. However, they recognize many of its inherent dangers.

The Bible’s Silence
The Bible says absolutely nothing about this practice. Psychologist Earl Wilson correctly observes: Masturbation, like many other topics of great personal and social concern, is neither condemned nor condoned in Scripture. In fact, I have not been able to find any direct scriptural statements about masturbation. Christians have not always been honest about this fact and have tried to give the impression that their opinions on the subject were fortified with biblical imperatives. Such is not the case.

He then cites the traditional Roman Catholic interpretation of Genesis 38:8–10. Alcorn says it was from this text that masturbation became “labeled onanism after the supposed masturbation by a man named Onan,” but a study of this passage reveals no autosexuality at all. Onan had sexual intercourse with the woman, but just as he reached the point of orgasm “he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother” (v. 9). Alcorn continues saying, “The issue was Onan’s disobedience in refusing to raise up children for his deceased brother, which he was bound by law and family loyalty to do.”

An Appeal to Scriptural Principles
In cases like this where the Bible is silent, we must be guided by broad Scriptural principles concerning sexual practices. Sexuality is a gift of God. It is not only necessary for procreation, but is the one act that in the most meaningful manner makes the man and woman “one flesh.” Intercourse is a kind of marriage, Geisler says:

If it is outside a life-long commitment of love then it is a “bad marriage.” In fact, it is a sin the Bible calls fornication (cf. Gal. 5:19; 1 Cor. 6:18). The first reference to marriage declares that man and woman become “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24), implying that marriage occurs when two bodies are joined. . . . Intercourse initiates a “marriage.” If it is not engaged in with a life-long commitment of love, then it was an evil union, an act of fornication.

Geisler considers autosexuality to be generally wrong, and masturbation to be sinful “(1) when its only motive is sheer biological pleasure, (2) when it is allowed to become a compulsive habit, and/or (3) when the habit results from inferior feelings and causes guilt feelings.” Geisler next makes an important statement, “Masturbation is sinful when it is performed in connection with pornographic images, for as Jesus said, lust is a matter of the interests of the heart” (Matt. 5:28).

Finally Geisler writes that autosexuality
can be right if it is used as a limited, temporary program of self-control to avoid sexual sin before marriage. If one is fully committed to leading a pure life until marriage, it may be permissible on occasion to use autosexual stimulation to relieve one’s tension. As long as it does not become a habit nor a means of gratifying one’s lust, masturbation is not necessarily immoral. In fact, when the motive is not lust but self-control, masturbation can be a moral act (cf. 1 Cor. 7:5; 9:25). . . . Masturbation used in moderation without lust for the purpose of retaining one’s purity is not immoral.

Problems of Autosexuality
I am happy with Geisler’s first statements about the three ways that autosexuality is wrong. I have trouble with his (and other writers’) permissiveness of autosexuality to release sexual lust. First, is autosexuality to become a substitute husband or wife? As any happily married person knows, once you enter into a life of deep sexual fulfillment with your beloved, it is even more difficult to suddenly cut it off because of sickness, forced separation, and death.

Second, is autosexuality the only way to avoid lust? Are there not other ways much more in harmony with Scripture with no danger of becoming habit forming as is true with masturbation? Earl Wilson and Randy Alcorn, while generally agreeing with Geisler, make some important observations which give balance to our subject. Wilson argues for the biblical emphasis on self-control by saying that if autosexuality was the road to take, why did not the apostle Paul say so in his teachings on sexual self-control in 1 Corinthians 7:8–9? Why did he not say if one cannot control his sexual drive let him masturbate? That is what many writers seem to be saying. Wilson says:

One answer seems quite obvious. Masturbation is not a means of self-control. It is often a lack of self-control. Sexual fantasy and masturbation allow a person to engage in mental sex with numerous people. This does not seem compatible with Paul’s exhortation to have self-control which we read about earlier in 1 Corinthians 6:12–13. . . . We kid ourselves when we say we can’t live without masturbation. That very statement borders on obsession. We need to face the fact that we are a pleasure-loving people and that masturbation is one way we choose to worship pleasure rather than God.

Wilson continues saying that the second major problem with autosexuality is its depersonalization and quotes the title of John White’s outstanding chapter on autosexuality, “Sex on a Desert Island.” White’s entire argument against autosexuality as a legitimate sexual lifestyle is that sex is given by God to counteract human loneliness (“It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him,” Gen. 2:18). Autosexuality, however, produces further loneliness. That which was made to bring a man and woman together for life is abused to produce the worst kind of loneliness and isolation.

Your sexual longings are associated with a deeper need—that someone should . . . bring your isolation to an end. . . . Masturbation is to be alone on an island. It frustrates the very instinct it gratifies. Alcorn agrees with the general line of thought developed by Wilson and White. He concludes his chapter on autosexuality with two important items.

One, “masturbation seems to be a natural part of adolescent self-discovery, particularly among boys.” He warns Christian parents not to be upset if they catch their adolescent children masturbating. Nor should they threaten their children that masturbation will lead to insanity or some kind of physical or later emotional maladjustment.

Two, persons should not allow autosexuality to become “the focus of their life. The guilt, shame and self-hatred as well as anger against God for making sexual stimulation such a powerful force in human life can cripple a believer’s life,” he says. If we have been guilty of this sin, it is forgivable. If we are in bondage to habitual autosexuality there is a way out. As all these author-counselors say, as one has chosen to masturbate, he can choose to stop masturbating. If the practice is obsessive and longstanding it may mean real spiritual warfare to stop, but in Christ we can stop. Alcorn, Wilson, and White suggest simple steps we can take to gain victory over this potentially obsessive habit.

Seven Reasons To Resist Autosexuality
I have other reasons why I take a firm stance against autosexuality. I do not accept it as “God’s relief value for built-up sexual drive,” a common expression among Christian leaders with whom I have discussed this issue.

First, it is not necessary. I have as strong a sexual interest as any man, but I do not engage in autosexuality. My ministry often has taken me away from my loving wife for months at a time. My intimate sexual relationship with my wife grows deeper, not shallower, with time. After over 40 years of marriage she is as desirable to me as ever, even more so. With maturity comes a deeper love for this marvelous woman that God has given me. I tell her continually that next to God himself, she is God’s greatest gift to me. When I am away from her, even when I am alone and desire her love, I do not engage in autosexuality. I choose not to do so. With this God-given self-control has come wonderful freedom and peace. There is no freedom nor peace in bondage to masturbation.

Second, masturbation does not decrease sexual tension; it only increases it. When you stop, your sexual tension will be taken care of by itself if you maintain an active life and disciplined physical exercise. Thus one will be tired each night and not need sexual self-stimulation to relax and sleep.

Third, autosexual conduct usually involves sexual sin and lust in the fantasy realm even though it may not be focused on any one person.

Fourth, autosexuality fixates on one’s own sexual organs and sexual desires, the opposite of a shared sexual relationship with one’s mate.

Fifth, it is habit forming. I am not saying that occasional self-stimulation will inevitably become an obsessive habit. Experience proves that is not so. No one, however, ever becomes bound by a habit which did not begin at a given point and continue with more and more frequency. This is the only way autostimulation can ever become a sexual bondage. Thus, the only sure way to avoid the possibility of habit and bondage is never to begin.

Sixth, in almost every form of sexual bondage from promiscuity to homosexuality and pornography, autosexual stimulation plays a central part. Probably all “sexaholics” are addicted to masturbation. To my memory, in every counseling case I have had with men or women who are in sexual bondage, masturbation has been involved. Some men and women cannot enjoy a normal satisfying sexual relationship with their mates but continually masturbate.

Finally, there can be a definite demonic dimension to uncontrolled masturbation. I have cast demons of masturbation out of the lives of sexually bound men and women. I am not saying that demons are directly attached to the lives of all those in bondage to autosexual practices, nor am I saying demons are attached to the lives of most persons addicted to such practices. I am saying that they can become attached to the life of anyone in bondage to this unwise sexual practice. Such persons need counseling, but they also need deliverance.

Bondage to masturbation is spiritual warfare. The desire may first come from within, warfare with the lusts of the flesh. It can also come directly from without, warfare with a sex-crazed world. Finally, it often comes from above, warfare with sexual demons who tempt us to unwise or illicit sexual activity (1 Cor. 7:5).

A fellow missionary with whom I often travel in ministry was experiencing increased sexual loneliness during his frequent absences from his wife. He had never practiced masturbation beyond a few experiences as an adolescent. As he shared his loneliness with two missionary friends, both were amazed that he did not try masturbation as a means of temporary relief while away from home. They both said they did. They affirmed it was God’s relief valve for pent-up sexual desires.

My friend began to follow their advice, at first infrequently. Then it became more and more often, especially in the evenings while bathing or alone in bed. While it provided some relief, it actually made him feel very insecure. Mental images of what he was doing would cross his mind at the most inopportune times, often while he was praying and reading Scripture or preaching. He felt that he must stop. He did for a while; then the desire would come upon him stronger than ever.

Eventually he became quite disturbed by his lack of sexual self-control. His habit seemed to increase his sexual desires instead of decreasing them. One night while in bed the desire came upon him with the greatest intensity he had ever known. Suddenly he became aware of an evil presence in the room with him. He was only beginning to learn the demonic dimension of spiritual warfare, but he sensed it was Satan. He remembered James 4:7–8:
Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. He began to resubmit his sexuality and sexual organs to God, including his mind, his emotions, and his will. He then began to resist the Devil and his sexual demons, out loud. He took his position as reigning with Christ above all principalities and powers of evil. He claimed his victory through the one who had defeated Satan and his evil spirits on the Cross.

Within a few minutes the evil presence left. The uncontrollable sexual passion was now under control. He then drew near to the Lord in praise, worship, and thanksgiving. The Lord, as He promised, drew near to him (James 4:7–8 ). He did not masturbate that night. Though this occurred some twenty years ago he has never masturbated since then. Though he still travels in a worldwide ministry usually without his wife, he has had no problem with masturbation or even strong temptations toward masturbation since that day. Why risk bondage to sexual self-stimulation when freedom is ours in Christ?


Dr. Ed. Murphy
The Handbook for Spiritual Warfare
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Pls comment and share your views if it is really a sinful act or not
Re: A Response To Chris Oyakhilome by k2039: 7:33am On Sep 09, 2012
Its's not a matter of 'If it is a sin',it is a sin.

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Re: A Response To Chris Oyakhilome by Nobody: 6:59am On Sep 10, 2012
Sure... a sin it is...
Re: A Response To Chris Oyakhilome by Joagbaje(m): 10:28am On Sep 10, 2012
Theres no record in the bible that it's a sin. I find it unfit to labell something a sin that God didn't labell a sin. I know for sure it's a bad habit. Among other habits such as drinking smoking and doing drugs etc. I believe also that addiction to it is demonic just as addiction to alcohol and drugs are demonic. If I shouldn't label a smoker a sinner or a man who takes alcohol a sinner . I shouldn't label this one a sinner too. There are severel bad habit that people suffer from. I have ministered to people to be free from such . Such as eating sand ,eating soap, mastubation ,drugs alcoholism. But it is not the habit that constitute sin. It's between them and their body.

For those who label it as sin , I always like to ask . What if one does it on medical ground . Especially the fuid test. Have such people sinned? The answer I get is a clear "NO" so if it's not a sin when you do it for medical reason . Does God have double standard? Just like those who say that to take alcohol is sin. When you confront them of the passage where Paul told timothy to take little wine because of his stomach trouble (1tim 5:23 ) they reply "well ,it's for medicinal use" if paul made Timothy to take drink for medicinal use. And it doesn't constitute a Sin . Then a man that takes it for pleasure also has not sinned . God doesn't have double standard. I don't drink and I don't encourage mastubation. I don't see them as decent habit . But I won't bring condemnation of sin on someone if God didn't label it so thanks.

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Re: A Response To Chris Oyakhilome by k2039: 3:32pm On Sep 10, 2012
Joagbaje: Theres no record in the bible that it's a sin. I find it unfit to labell something a sin that God didn't labell a sin. I know for sure it's a bad habit. Among other habits such as drinking smoking and doing drugs etc. I believe also that addiction to it is demonic just as addiction to alcohol and drugs are demonic. If I shouldn't label a smoker a sinner or a man who takes alcohol a sinner . I shouldn't label this one a sinner too. There are severel bad habit that people suffer from. I have ministered to people to be free from such . Such as eating sand ,eating soap, mastubation ,drugs alcoholism. But it is not the habit that constitute sin. It's between them and their body.

For those who label it as sin , I always like to ask . What if one does it on medical ground . Especially the fuid test. Have such people sinned? The answer I get is a clear "NO" so if it's not a sin when you do it for medical reason . Does God have double standard? Just like those who say that to take alcohol is sin. When you confront them of the passage where Paul told timothy to take little wine because of his stomach trouble (1tim 5:23 ) they reply "well ,it's for medicinal use" if paul made Timothy to take drink for medicinal use. And it doesn't constitute a Sin . Then a man that takes it for pleasure also has not sinned . God doesn't have double standard. I don't drink and I don't encourage mastubation. I don't see them as decent habit . But I won't bring condemnation of sin on someone if God didn't label it so thanks.
On a more serious note don't tell me you are a lawyer or studying law in school(seriously will love to know your profession).

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