How do you pick up the pieces of your life that has been shattered after many years of a marriage that has just ended on a horrible heartbreaking note?
Where do you start from?
When will you start feeling normal again and stop feeling that there are invisible walls about to close up around you?
When will the feeling of hyperventilation stop and you can breathe again?
When will the tears and the feeling of "why me" stop?
When will the thoughts of choking the crap out of him for his cheating ways leave?

Please, don't follow this up with a silly string of Bible verses and quotes. I don't hate the bible, and I don't hate the message, I just have a hard time with how INSENSITIVE folks can bere thinking they can string up a couple of verses and dish it out as response that should suffice for all cases.

Kobojunkie: Please, don't follow this up with a silly string of Bible verses and quotes. I don't hate the bible, and I don't hate the message, I just have a hard time with how INSENSITIVE folks can think they can string up a couple of verses and dish it out as response that should suffice for all cases.

Thank you

Is this the same Pslm23 from the IVF thread? Oh, so sorry about this. God will help you recover. . I have followed your struggles and was hoping you will succeed. Let time do its job.

Hmmm, there are no "How toos" You just experience it and go through the motions, denial, depression, feeling of failure, hurt and pain, let your self go through the pain, cry, sulk, mourn, Losing a marriage, partner and a trusted companion is hard. Dont be in a hurry to get over it, dont try to prove anything to any one or "show them" that you are 'fine", take your time, go through the grieving process, in time, with Gods help your pain and heart will heal.
Time will come when you will look back and say, how did i get over this? But believe me God makes everything bueatiful in his time, Heal, re learn to love yourself and be alone before you be with someone else, dont be in a hurry to replace the spouse even if the other spouse left you for someone else. Also be ready to hear judgmental comments, ignorant comments, people who will call you a sinner and a failure but keep telling yourself that "this too shall pass"
No body prays for a divorce because this period is the hardest but believe me it shall pass

Kobojunkie: Please, don't follow this up with a silly string of Bible verses and quotes. I don't hate the bible, and I don't hate the message, I just have a hard time with how INSENSITIVE folks can think they can string up a couple of verses and dish it out as response that should suffice for all cases.

It's wrong for you to conclude that bible verses are insensitive. Just because they don't inspire you as the writer would have wished doesn't mean they weren't meant to.

2mch:

Is this the same Pslm23 from the IVF thread? Oh, so sorry about this. God will help you recover. . I have followed your struggles and was hoping you will succeed. Let time do its job.

yes it is!
It is well! This too shall pass!

pslm23:

yes it is!
It is well! This too shall pass!

Isn't that a bible verse

Ujujoan:

It's wrong for you to conclude that bible verses are insensitive. Just because they don't inspire you as the writer would have wished doesn't mean they weren't meant to.

um . . where in that post of mind did you get that I concluded that the bible verses are insensitive? How did you pull that out of my little post there?

@ debrief, i always love ur posts on every thread, u seem to have experince a lot in life, hence ur posts or U're either a marriage councillor or a proffesional councillor, but sincerely, u pour out from abundance of wisdom. I pray dt d wisdom God gave u will never work against u IJN.

@ poster,take to debrief's advice and always remember dt in every dissapointment,there hides great opportunity.

Ful of regret. She ask herself. Did i make d right choice

debrief08: Hmmm, there are no "How toos" You just experience it and go through the motions, denial, depression, feeling of failure, hurt and pain, let your self go through the pain, cry, sulk, mourn, Losing a marriage, partner and a trusted companion is hard. Dont be in a hurry to get over it, dont try to prove anything to any one or "show them" that you are 'fine", take your time, go through the grieving process, in time, with Gods help your pain and heart will heal.
Time will come when you will look back and say, how did i get over this? But believe me God makes everything bueatiful in his time, Heal, re learn to love yourself and be alone before you be with someone else, dont be in a hurry to replace the spouse even if the other spouse left you for someone else. Also be ready to hear judgmental comments, ignorant comments, people who will call you a sinner and a failure but keep telling yourself that "this too shall pass"
No body prays for a divorce because this period is the hardest but believe me it shall pass

God bless you for this! The tears will stop. It will take time but i will heal! When a spouse betrays you after 10 years plus of dedication and love, sometimes it feels like dying!..at least this is how i've been feeling! But i'm taking each day as it comes, one step at a time!

pslm23: How do you pick up the pieces of your life that has been shattered after many years of a marriage that has just ended on a horrible heartbreaking note?

Be sure you know what pieces of your life you need to pick up. Take your time in making sure you are picking up the right pieces and not the wrong ones so you can spite the other person.

pslm23:
Where do you start from?

Start where you can. The world is not in a race with you, and honestly, it is ok to take your time. It is not the fastest animal that wins the race. It is the patient one.

pslm23:
When will you start feeling normal again and stop feeling that there are invisible walls about to close up around you?

When you stop thinking that there is a normal, and stop focusing on the invisible walls about to close up around you, and start looking beyond at the things that could matter more. Again, take your time, it is not a race.

pslm23:
When will the feeling of hyperventilation stop and you can breathe again?

When you stop allowing your thoughts take control of your breathing mechanism. Will take time, and the world is not going anywhere. So relax and take your time.

pslm23:
When will the tears and the feeling of "why me" stop?

Probably never but why stop trying to stop them. I mean so many people cry that same tear regularly that sometimes I think it is a part of the life process.

pslm23:
When will the thoughts of choking the crap out of him for his cheating ways leave?

Probably never!!

Kobojunkie:

um . . where in that post of mind did you get that I concluded that the bible verses are insensitive? How did you pull that out of my little post there?

Maybe you need to go back to your previous post!

Ujujoan:

Maybe you need to go back to your previous post!

I need to go back or you need to show me exactly where you get that from? You are the one accusing me of concluding that bible verses are insensitive. Why aren't you able to show where you get that from?

pslms, i love that your thread. I read it though not sure i commented. i read it cuz i'm a crazy fan of medical stuff.

it will be hard, but this too shall pass with time. Time is the only healer.
Not sure what divorce looks like but the thought of it is scary.

Grief, cry, think through it all then please get up and move on.

Time heals, God restores.

Kobo and debrief have given you pratical advises.

I wish you come out of it stronger and better. Much love. Xoxo

pslm23: How do you pick up the pieces of your life that has been shattered after many years of a marriage that has just ended on a horrible heartbreaking note?
Where do you start from?
When will you start feeling normal again and stop feeling that there are invisible walls about to close up around you?
When will the feeling of hyperventilation stop and you can breathe again?
When will the tears and the feeling of "why me" stop?
When will the thoughts of choking the crap out of him for his cheating ways leave?

I have never been divorced so I don't have any personal relation to this however I have friends who have been divorced and it wasn't easy for them. Many of them have children with the ex husbands and it is hard to continue a relationship after a divorce with someone that either hurt you or left you for another person.

I have witnessed tears, agony, pain, depression, and many other things from these women. I supported them with therapy and counseling. It was a slow but worthy process to healing. Divorce is not easy for many but in some cases it is necessary.

The world will not stop because a woman is divorced but at the end of the day...when the storm settled...she is happy.

You got over it the moment you signed the divorce papers.

pslm 23 i dont know what to say. i follow the IVF thread religiously and silently pray for you and the other women on the thread. i have to say you are one heck of a strong woman and you will surely get through this difficult period with time

So sorry about this. I also followed your IVF struggles. And still remember some nice things you wrote about him then.

Just breath deeply in and out dear, and try to focus more on the good things happening in your life now and your other future plans.

This too shall pass, it surely will and I know you will smile and laugh again.

sighs
God be with u sister

I really don`t know what to do in such a situation but i sure know what not to do which is to jump straight into another man`s arms.

Give it time, you'll be fine even if it does not feel like it now. Just take your time and take it one day at a time.

Hi op,
Been Following your former thread and i am so heartbroken along with you.
From your posts,i think i can deduce what your DH did and the effects of his actions on your struggles,i am also in the ttc boat so i can imagine how devastated you are.I am very very sorry
Time will heal all wounds and help you deal with the betrayal to a certain extent,that much i know.
If you can get away from that situation/surrounding it would be best so you can reduce your aggravation..Time off work would also be helpful.
A holiday to clear your head so you can then make the best decisions for yourself..
Speaking to a qualified therapist is very very important so that you can at least make sense of what is happening around you.It is not easy but you will get through this.
Just know that the journey is not over yet,you will still hold that baby,DH or no DH.That's my prayer

pslm23,
I too silently followed your story on that thread. I found myself on off days thinking & praying for such a strong woman, checking in often to see your progress. I admired your strength, dedication and perseverance in the face of such difficulty...and in the same way that inner strength you've shown will see you through this. Be encouraged sister, you've been through so much and you will stand strong again by God's grace.

@ Kobojunkie,i quite understand where u re driving at when u said no bible quotations and stuff.But pls it may interest you to know that the word of God is d perfect and quickiest recipe for recovering from such and other vicissitudes of life.Though some commentators makes reading a post so boring with their long quotations and stuffs when such issues as this are being discussed.But nevertheless,the Bible remains a pointer and balm to calm and revitalise such troubling souls. @Op,dont u hv somthn u love doin bfore u got married?i mean somethn that keeps u busy et all?Why not try doin those things,or get involve in an NGO or something,just to take ur mind off d dilemma,while u keep ur mind open for any prospective friendship that will ease u of d tension.Also get involve in d house of God and things of God,i believe these might help.If u have d resources too,u can take a vacation and spend time alone,i bet u will recover faster than u think.I pray that God will give u d grace to stand again and quick too.God bless

Willy7: @ Kobojunkie,i quite understand where u re driving at when u said no bible quotations and stuff.But pls it may interest you to know that the word of God is d perfect and quickiest recipe for recovering from such and other vicissitudes of life

I will tell you the very same thing I was getting ready to tell the other person who miscontrued what was posted. PLEASE LEARN TO READ.

I made it clear in that post that I do not have a problem with the versese themselves but in how people string up verses and then post them as valid solutions/responses to all issues. They are not. The verses may be perfect but in the hands in insensitive mor0ns, they are a tool that could cause more pain than needed.

Willy7:
Though some commentators makes reading a post so boring with their long quotations and stuffs when such issues as this are being discussed.But nevertheless,the Bible remains a pointer and balm to calm and revitalise such troubling souls.

Again, the Bible itself is not the problem here, but people who INSENTITIVELY use it to pass on their TWEAK on issues. And I know so-called Nigerian Christians are very good at doing just that. To read and use those words, wisdom is needed, and a lot of people from there are LACKING THAT BASIC SUBSTANCE!!

Like armyofone i love medical stuffs
I have admired your Strength and prayed for you as i followed all through your Journey.
You are an epitome of Strength.
I don't know what to say except a prayer for you.

afam4eva: You got over it the moment you signed the divorce papers.

As simple as divorce sounds...it is not always black and white. How do you expect her to stay in a marriage that is potentially dangerous ot her? I am sure she had to think about it deeply before making a decision to divorce her husband. Not all divorces are mutual nor simple.

She is obviously not over it if she is still having pain about it.

wetin make her divorce before?

May God see you through this. I almost shed tears after reading through your ivf thread.

I wish I can do anything to help put smile in your face.