Kobojunkie:

If your life is about "It is what it is", I bet you would not leave Nigeria at all. The idea is a mentality can be and should be changed for the betterment of the people. Yes the overwhelming majority believe that it is an achievement but in reality, or in Naira sense, it really is not.

slimyem: I'm afraid what's more important to the average Nigerian at the end of the day is having something to call their own..which is most times a landed property/house no matter how much or how long it'll take to get there.
It is the next most realistic investment/achievement in these parts..apart from owning share capitals which has taken a downward spiral over the last few years.
The consolation is in the fact that no matter how bad it gets,they'll get by as long as they have a roof over their heads.

slimyem: I'm afraid what's more important to the average Nigerian at the end of the day is having something to call their own..which is most times a landed property/house no matter how much or how long it'll take to get there.
It is the next most realistic investment/achievement in these parts..apart from owning share capitals which has taken a downward spiral over the last few years.
The consolation is in the fact that no matter how bad it gets,they'll get by as long as they have a roof over their heads.

reephat: As for me  don't Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴͡ anything bad about her husband cooking for her, cos my own husband does d̶̲̥̅̊at too. Even more dan d̶̲̥̅̊at and d̶̲̥̅̊at does not stop me from respecting him or satisfying him, cos we ® 1 body. As for U̶̲̥̅̊r mother inlaw issue D̳̿ woman Ȋ̝̊̅§ not very nice @ least if she want τ̲̅ȍ give her son's food she's should also pack urs too, because Ɣ☺ΰ both ® her children S̤̥̈̊☺ why W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̝̊̅̄ll she give 1 food and left D̳̿ other. S̤̥̈̊☺  think she must have been planting some evil thing I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ U̶̲̥̅̊r Man's heart ‎​‎ βε̲̣̣̣̥ careful and βε̲̣̣̣̥ prayer full God W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̝̊̅̄ll Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴͡ Ɣ☺ΰ through.

Ujujoan:

I just wonder why he changed AFTER his mom started living close-by.

Could it be that his mum has told him it's not right to cook for his wife? That is a huge possibility!

Besides giving him food when he has a fight with his wife is encouraging him to keep malice. A mother who means well shouldn't do that.

Ujujoan:

If the man was providing for the family like he should, then wifey won't have to take a job where she gets home by 8.00pm!

Sometimes, men should try and be realistic.

kaboninc:
Me sef just dey wonder too. This cooking of a thing, this chore of a thing, since when did it become one's sole responsibility? Am just wondering. Still thinking. However, I believe that cooperation between the two partners can drive the union. I know of someone, a man, who finds pleasure in cooking for the house even when the wife is at home and sometimes, when the food is ready, you can hardly tell who made which.

DailyNews: Only poor, financially unproductive men cook for their wives becos they failed in the areas they are supposed to act as man, and hence rely on cooking and doing house chores as a way of pleasing their wives since they failed in their duty of fuLly providing for their family. So an MD of a company, a business tycoon or an industrialist, and the likes should be cooking for their wives and be performing house chores, abandoning their business responsibilities? Pls try and pray against poverty and lack so u can be man enough to provide for your family. Naturally, a man isn't meant to do those things, and a woman isn't meant to provide for the family, and in any home that a woman provides and the man does house chores n cook too, check well, that home lack peace and true happiness and the man isn't happy in that marriage. Men strive to get out of bachelorhood so they can have rest from performing house chores, cooking/eating outside, so when a wife can't do those things without expecting husband to assist, then there is no need for men getting married again.

DailyNews: Only poor, financially unproductive men cook for their wives becos they failed in the areas they are supposed to act as man, and hence rely on cooking and doing house chores as a way of pleasing their wives since they failed in their duty of fuLly providing for their family. So an MD of a company, a business tycoon or an industrialist, and the likes should be cooking for their wives and be performing house chores, abandoning their business responsibilities? Pls try and pray against poverty and lack so u can be man enough to provide for your family. Naturally, a man isn't meant to do those things, and a woman isn't meant to provide for the family, and in any home that a woman provides and the man does house chores n cook too, check well, that home lack peace and true happiness and the man isn't happy in that marriage. Men strive to get out of bachelorhood so they can have rest from performing house chores, cooking/eating outside, so when a wife can't do those things without expecting husband to assist, then there is no need for men getting married again.

passionate88: some women don't like to b a "kept" wife...

Flakeey: My family stays in the same building with my mother-in-law but different flat…
Due to expensive house rent in Lagos, mother-in-law advised that we moved in to the vacant flat and from there we can plan how to start something on our own land instead of wasting money on house rent. Despite all advise from friends and family not to stay in the same building with my in-laws I turned deaf ears to them and assured them my mother-in-law is a very nice woman, I shouldn’t have any problem with her and moreover, we won’t be staying in the same flat.

To be candid, I don’t have any problem with my in-laws but the problem is my hubby.
After we moved in, he gradually stopped doing some things he normally did before, like helping me with domestic chores, taking a walk with me in the evening during weekends. He helped with cooking anytime he gets home from work early but now, it has stopped…he would be in his mother’s flat waiting for me to come and do the cooking. I asked him twice why he doesn’t cook anymore whenever he comes home earlier than I do, he told me he has spoilt me and he wouldn’t want that to go on. We started arguing where we raised voices at each other and lots more.

Now, any little misunderstanding between us, he would stop eating my food and eat from his mother’s, sometimes he would even abandon me in our flat to play and be with his family.

My questions:
1. Am I wrong to have supported my hubby in staying with my mother-in-law?
2. Can you live in the same building with your mother-in-law or can you and your wife live with your parent?
3. in this kind of situation, what can/should I do?

Pls I need your advice

debrief08: the only place I will fault her is giving him food instead of sending him home to eat

Pleasantme: The fact is that evry MIL sees their DIL as a challenge while DILs percieve dem as a pain in d neck too!!! its prolli linked 2women n our complexities.

Pleasantme: Well FYI Kobojunkie,d poster is a Nigerian n lives in Nigeria(its mostly in dis part of d world such tinz apun)u tink if she were a whitey she wunt v filed for a divorce or sue d mother-inlaw to court.

U r either a man,single or non-Nigerian to tink my view is exaggerated in dis part of d world(evry1 is entitled to his/her opinion nd I jus stated mine)

In Nigeria,there's so much eyeservice/lipservice wen inlaw tins r concerned.Take it or u leave it; "once married ur former nuclear family becomes ur extended family whil ur wife n children NOw becomes ur nuclear family.
Btw...Wots ur point as regardz d posters questions n wot advice(s) did u profer

nitlad: That yhur understanding has a very strong tendency of inclining towards a 'ME AND MY HUSBAND ALONE' philosophy which isn't very healthy.

Efemena_xy:

Really? Pray, do tell me what's unhealthy about it?