kinkie: all those long story weren't necessary. The part i dint cancel is d actual prank d op is asking of you. Elejo wewe ni e!

Kcxee: When i was a kid if i urinate on my bed i will wake up n change my cloths den take water n pour on my junior sis den push her 2 where i urinated den slip bak n i was never caught...n she always get beaten....

pato405: beside being a voracious eater, the next best thing I did was being a 'con-boy'. If there was an award for young and mischievous little fellas, I would be king-pin and a perennial winner of such an award! . I regarded out-smarting others as the easiest way to get out of trouble at anytime. I remember asking popsi to buy me a popular chemistry text book [Osei yaw Ababio] in SS1. he bluntly refused saying the text-book was just too expensive to be bought for =N=750. he claimed [despite knowing next to nothing about chemistry because he read Bus.Admin] a good alternative was Senior sec school chem by Afolayan [a text I hated with so much passion!]. I knew his arguments were simply based on the fact that Afolayan's chem text sold for N200 as against Ababio's N750. so, he bought it. as fate will have it, I hadn't paid my tuition for extra-moral lessons usually held every evening. the director for the evening lessons was usually very strict and never allowed anyone to delay by as little as a day to pay up. however, based on the rapport and respect he had developed for my dad, he allowed me stay even when he chased others home for his money.

so, the third month, he called me and handed N600 in new mints of N20 to me. he explained with a stern face..''this money is for your evening lessons, make sure you give it to your director''. i was nodding in approval as hended the money to me. then he brought out a clean A4 paper and was scribbling vigorously on it as if he was writing a poem.it was a letter of appology for the delay in payment and he wanted me to deliver it to the director along with the money. haaaaaaa! ..ol boy! my hrt lept for joy! money don land, I said to myself. this man just wasted his precious time scribbling this miserable note. i humbly collected the letter and promised to deliver it. the next day, I asked a classmate of mine to lend me N100, which he did, I added my N50 which took me ages to save to the money and my friend accompanied me to the bookshop where I did justice to myself with the money and tore the letter into shreds. . I bought the chem text i had always wanted.

I told popsi, I delivered his note to lesson teacher. then he asked me about the new text and where i got it from. I simply told him it belongs to my friend and I borrowed it from him. . till date, i never told him about it.


ode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is the smartness here na

mtcheeeewwww

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2) My smartness [coupled with the fact that I was also very bright] earned me the class-rep [popularly called claass monitor back in the days I speak of]. one of the duties delegated to me by my class teacher was to write the names of all noise makers and make sure they paid 50kobo coin each time their names appeared. [ol boy, na so I become senator oooo abi na speaker of house of rep! on PDP platform ooo! ] she had delegated this duty to me after she walked into the class unannounced one particular day but went irate at the level of disorderliness in the class. as a mater of fact, we practically turned one half of the class room into a market place and the other half into a football field with our desks and chairs shifted to one corner and goal posts mounted with our bags. we played all day not knowing she had been standing by the entrance to the class room watching us in utter disgust! i was the first to sight her with her sullen face, mute and standing like a ghost by the entrance. I wanted to alert others about her presence, but I couldnt. her wicked eyeballs were proppingg out of the sockets with rage and furry. so, I simply kept my cool. then finally, she announced her presence. haaaaaaaaaaa! boys nearly enter ground! she had to go call one monster of a teacher we all dreaded to flog the livin day-lights out of everyone. my punishment was reduced anyway!

to cut the long story short she announced the new rule. I was to take the list of noise makers daily, make sure they pay up the fine of 50kobo on time, and keep all the money till the end of the term. she declared to the class that the money will be spent on what she described as end of the term party. she threatened fire and brimestone on whosoever refused to pay. hmmm! guys! I became super rich! even if you cough too much, I could write a X5 in front of your name- meaning you have to pay 2naira, 50kobo. just imagine how long my list looked like with boys arguing about football & English premiership every now and then in the class room whenever there was no teacher! hahahahah! I could produce a thousand naira list from multiples of 50kobo! Lastma no extort moni reach mi o! . it didnt end there, i deployed my coy strategy. write names as much as possible, collect the monies, take the list home and reproduce another list inwhich the sum total of the money collected will be less than the original list!, then destroy the original list.


haa! my break-time was always a time for heavy feast. I fed fat on the money that at the end of the term, what i presented as total collected fine was far less than 1/10th of the true account and the list was so perfectly dated that no one [not even the teacher herself] could fault it. however, i made sure that a few of my classmates who could raise eye-brows were well taken care of. so, they had no choice but to keep quiet since their mouths were also soiled with 'the oil'. . when I reflect about it now, i just beam that sheepish sly smile! corruption didnt start today o!

Ejiné: One of my numerous crimes was inflating my Junior WAEC fee like a PDP senator. I remember I presented popsie a looooong list of things needed to register for the exam, with 65% of the items being things I 'kurukerely' filled in there.
Chineke nna, come and see format.

Dad: Son, number 14 says "handling charging". What exactly is that?

Me: It's the levy that takes care of the charges for the handling.

Dad: Handling of what?

Me: It handles the charges.

Dad: Charges based on what exactly?

Me: The overall handling, of course.

Dad: How?

Me: I mean the charges.

Dad: Of what?!

Me: The handling!!!

badboy: I was a very naughty boy. My tricks were too many but there's this one I thought I got away with, until many years later. I think it happened in primary 2 or 3. I moved ten bucks from my mum's purse to buy these giant buns that caught my fancy way back then. The buns were sold by a peddler on a bike. Come and see buns!!! The things filled up a giant black nylon bag.They must have been like one million. Like 10,000 people gathered around me for the feast. I was the man!!!Lo & behold, Miss Deborah came...."Who gave you the money for the buns?". I told the teacher it was my dad. "Are you sure?" .Yes ma,I answered. Then came closing time, Miss Deborah gives me a stapled note for my dad. As a sharp boy, Iwent to a corner, read the note and in it she requested my dad to confirm giving me ten bucks, along with some graphic details. Guess what I did....I cancelled my name and jejely wrote,Nnamdi, my younger brothers name in it's place. Well, minutes later, pops came to pick us up from school,I bounced to the car, handed him the note,he read it and laughed the whole distance from school to our house without saying a word to any of us. I was perplexed, wondering why he didnt rake my younger bro. Long and short story is that, several years later, while in A.B.U.,we were moving homes and and while packing, he called me in to show me the note.I nearly died of laughter....the teacher wrote with biro while I cancelled(rather almost smudged my name out in pencil and my name was still clearly visible). Come and see the teacher's fine handwriting as compared to my scribbling. I felt so foolish....I thank God for life.

slimyem: lol@all those who peed and pinned it on their sibs by pouring them water...una nor try!
.
I peed till i was 9 and since i always knew my offence,every morning,my next routine after getting up and washing and spreading my urine-stinking clothes and mat was to go and kneel down until further notice.
it had become so shameful that even my younger sib had stopped peeing.so i deviced my own means..
After peeing and waking up in the middle of the night,i would go to the sitting room,plug the iron and bring it to my room to iron-dry the urine.i did it for up to six months and was never caught.
While my mum was glad i had stopped peeing,i was still peeing and solving the problem my style!

badboy: I was a very naughty boy. My tricks were too many but there's this one I thought I got away with, until many years later. I think it happened in primary 2 or 3. I moved ten bucks from my mum's purse to buy these giant buns that caught my fancy way back then. The buns were sold by a peddler on a bike. Come and see buns!!! The things filled up a giant black nylon bag.They must have been like one million. Like 10,000 people gathered around me for the feast. I was the man!!!Lo & behold, Miss Deborah came...."Who gave you the money for the buns?". I told the teacher it was my dad. "Are you sure?" .Yes ma,I answered. Then came closing time, Miss Deborah gives me a stapled note for my dad. As a sharp boy, Iwent to a corner, read the note and in it she requested my dad to confirm giving me ten bucks, along with some graphic details. Guess what I did....I cancelled my name and jejely wrote,Nnamdi, my younger brothers name in it's place. Well, minutes later, pops came to pick us up from school,I bounced to the car, handed him the note,he read it and laughed the whole distance from school to our house without saying a word to any of us. I was perplexed, wondering why he didnt rake my younger bro. Long and short story is that, several years later, while in A.B.U.,we were moving homes and and while packing, he called me in to show me the note.I nearly died of laughter....the teacher wrote with biro while I cancelled(rather almost smudged my name out in pencil and my name was still clearly visible). Come and see the teacher's fine handwriting as compared to my scribbling. I felt so foolish....I thank God for life.

engrchux: I remember my uncle's wife catching me red-handed watching po(r)nography aka mojo on my uncle's VHS video cassette player in his sitting room. She eJected the cassette & seized it as physical evidence to present to my uncle when he returned from work. She didn't like me much then cos I was so mischievous. I was so troubled & time was ticking very fast, with every second bringing me nearer to the consequence; my uncle was already a retired Major as at the time. Anyways I kept targeting the cassette she kept in her handbag which was on the dining table, praying 4 her to loose guard. The opportunity came & she did, she fell into a nap on the long couch in the sitting room. I quickly retrieved the cassette, screwed it open, removed the mojo tape inside & replaced it with musical video tape of snoop dogg, warren G, Salt & Pepper, TLC & all the reigning artistes of the 1994 era, by so doing the title & look of the cassette was the same on the outside but the content had miraculously changed on the inside. Then I quietly returned it back to her handbag. Lol. My uncle eventually returned & she narrated the story backed up with evidence , only 4 her to insert the cassette & Snoop dogg was rapping. She fast forwarded, rewind, stopped, ejected, confirmed it was the same cassette she seized, re-inserted etc. The worst they saw where some gals in bum shorts dancing & shaking their booties. Lol.
My uncle got furious with her & started attacking her that she's always wanting to cause wahala in the house with his people & she felt like a fool & a liar. Lol

Caracta: I hated pills. The day we changed the furniture, there were several pills i had hidden everywhere, especially inside the couch & seat covers.

Mustay:
The truth has no hiding place!

nikaShow:
Mine was bad men ! T had to do with me replacing my results,I went to a boarding school and our results were given to us on a preset sheet, I don't know how some of my mates got a hold of an empty result sheet, but that was how it all started, from SS2 till ss3 b4 waec, all d results I took home were 'refurbished' results....I'd call my mates then to fill in as each subject teacher, and fake a signature whilst someone else served as my class teacher with very good reports of me and a pretty decent postition, somewhere between 5th-10th of a 80man class !
I've never been d grredy type