WHO IS AT FAULT?
Akpos walked into a political rally
and he saw
a young female journalist with a
badge on
...her breast region saying;
"PRESS"
...and he pressed.
GBOSA!
and she slapped him..
Abeg tel me, who's at fault?

I have enjoyed, lots of Akpos story, guess it is important we document them, for other to enjoy his funny stories.

Strictly For Akpos Stories.

Akpos fans meet here.

Akpos was being chased by two men for one of his numerous crimes,akpos ran into d forest and d men followed him into d forest. Akpos got into d forest and climbed a tree. The two men got to d tree where akpos was and did not know where he ran to angrily one of d men said dis boy don escape again,d oda man said,no worry I know dis boy he is jus a mumu if I call his name like 3 times he must answer....Akpos laughed from d tree and said to d men"hahahaha if u like call my name from now till next year I no go answer u, U think say na akpos of before?

fter dipping AKPOS three times in water, Father Peter then said to him, “You are now a new creation so your name is no longer AKPOS but Paul. From now onwards, no eating pork.”. On arrival home, AKPOS now Paul dipped his pork in water three times and then said, “From now on your name na beef!!

During the exam, Akpors kept looking under the table, then he would write on the answer sheet.
His teacher saw him doing that & thought he was copying.
*when collecting the paper after the exam*
Teacher: I'm gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpors: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said, "STUDY THE TABLE BELOW "

Akpos saw his parents in bed enjoying their marital rights, so he asked;
"daddy, what are you doing?"
his father replied;
"i'm beating ur mummy"
Akpos thought for a while, with a sad face and said;
"mama, but what offence have you committed in this house?,
today, four different men have beaten you;
first, it was the gate man Aliyu, then Idris our house boy,
that vendor that sold Newspaper to dad also beat you and now daddy
WHY, mama you must be stubborn ooo!"

Akpos is is currently staying with his aunt Sophie at the moment, his dad is behind bars for murder and his mum's burial has been fixed for next weekend

dejustice: WHO IS AT FAULT?
Akpos walked into a political rally
and he saw
a young female journalist with a
badge on
...her breast region saying;
"PRESS"
...and he pressed.
GBOSA!
and she slapped him..
Abeg tel me, who's at fault?

Akpos was. Slap is too little!

Nuezha:
Akpos was. Slap is too little!

I dissagree.
he saw a word 'PRESS' and then he pressed, so why the slap

Funny Akpos, just saw some other interesting trends on Nairaland. I will extract and post them here.

All copy right laws, well observed.

A teacher lecturing on population said 'In the world, after every 10 seconds, a woman gives birth to a kid.' Akpors stood up and said 'we must find and stop her!'
_Akpors; why are all these people running? Man: this is a race, the winner will get the cup. Akpors: if only the winner will get the cup,why are others running?
_Akpors told his servant: go and water the plants.
Servant: its already raining.
Akpors: so what, take an umbrella and go!
_Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this package.
Akpors: why did you have to come so far, instead u could have posted it.
_Akpors at an Art gallery: i suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: i beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!
_Akpors was writing something very slowly. A friend asked "why are you writing so slowly?
Akpors: i'm writing to my six year old son, he cant read very fast.
_Flash news:A 2 SEATER plane crashed in a GRAVEYARD in Umukoro. Akpors and his townsmen have so far found 500 bodies and are still DIGGING for more. L.O.L.Z

Sitting in the bus, opposite Akpos was a lady trying to bre@st feed her baby and the baby was rejecting it. Akpos went over to the lady ...'Madam make I help you test the bre@st milk naw to know why bomboy de reject am naa!

dejustice: A teacher lecturing on population said 'In the world, after every 10 seconds, a woman gives birth to a kid.' Akpors stood up and said 'we must find and stop her!'
_Akpors; why are all these people running? Man: this is a race, the winner will get the cup. Akpors: if only the winner will get the cup,why are others running?
_Akpors told his servant: go and water the plants.
Servant: its already raining.
Akpors: so what, take an umbrella and go!
_Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this package.
Akpors: why did you have to come so far, instead u could have posted it.
_Akpors at an Art gallery: i suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: i beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!
_Akpors was writing something very slowly. A friend asked "why are you writing so slowly?
Akpors: i'm writing to my six year old son, he cant read very fast.
_Flash news:A 2 SEATER plane crashed in a GRAVEYARD in Umukoro. Akpors and his townsmen have so far found 500 bodies and are still DIGGING for more. L.O.L.Z

Akpos u be tortoise?
why ur name nor dey comot from story?

Akpors thought that LOL means'LOTS OF LOVE' So he wrote an SMS To his girlfriend.Saying'My dear,i'm sorry about the death of your sister.,LOL.

dejustice: A teacher lecturing on population said 'In the world, after every 10 seconds, a woman gives birth to a kid.' Akpors stood up and said 'we must find and stop her!'
_Akpors; why are all these people running? Man: this is a race, the winner will get the cup. Akpors: if only the winner will get the cup,why are others running?
_Akpors told his servant: go and water the plants.
Servant: its already raining.
Akpors: so what, take an umbrella and go!
_Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this package.
Akpors: why did you have to come so far, instead u could have posted it.
_Akpors at an Art gallery: i suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: i beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!
_Akpors was writing something very slowly. A friend asked "why are you writing so slowly?
Akpors: i'm writing to my six year old son, he cant read very fast.
_Flash news:A 2 SEATER plane crashed in a GRAVEYARD in Umukoro. Akpors and his townsmen have so far found 500 bodies and are still DIGGING for more. L.O.L.Z

let me die before you bury me. Which kind C & P be this. I am auditioning for my season 2 of ' The Adventures Of Akpors' and here you are stealing my self created brand. I demand an official apology after which i will decide on what to do.

~vicky~:
Akpors thought that LOL means'LOTS OF LOVE' So he wrote an SMS To his girlfriend.Saying'My dear,i'm sorry about the death of your sister.,LOL.

Now this is a very very very funny akpors story, LOL

~vicky~:
larride...these your molars no be here

Wetin u dey talk?

Vicky, say the truth, you are in love with me

Check my post, I already got copyright permission from you.

Sure, you can get some here too.

Just compiling all Akpos story.
If you have more, please share with us, let's keep the fun alive!

Valiantvaliant: let me die before you bury me. Which kind C & P be this. I am auditioning for my season 2 of ' The Adventures Of Akpors' and here you are stealing my self created brand. I demand an official apology after which i will decide on what to do.

dejustice: Check my post, I already got copyright permission from you.

Sure, you can get some here too.

Just compiling all Akpos story.
If you have more, please share with us, let's keep the fun alive!

hey, you are lucky today is my birthday so i'll just let it go.

God to akpors: Son, what do you wish for?
Akpors: A job, a big vehicle & lots of girls
God: Amen
#Akpors Is Now the Bus Driver of girls secondary school, Umuleri.

This Akpos go soon die........

AKPOS was hungry and went to ‘mai shayi’ (men selling tea and bread).The following transpired between the man and the mai shayi.

AKPOS: u get loaf of bread?

ABOKI:yes

AKPOS: bring one; slice am two and put 2 sachet of butter in btwn.

ABOKI: happy and tankin God 4 bringing customer, was just doing as he is told)

AKPOS: u get egg?

ABOKI: yes customer

AKPOS: fry 6 eggs put am btwn the bread.

ABOKI: Okay customer

AKPOS:u get sadin 4 inside gongoni?

ABOKI: yes customer everytin dey.

AKPOS: put two gongoni inside the bread.

ABOKI: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, in his mind he wil make a lot of money 2day)

AKPOS:u don finish? Oya press the bread for me.

ABOKI: See am customer, i don prepare am finish.

AKPOS: . . . . . OYA CUT TEN NAIRA OWN FOR ME

babylahot: This Akpos go soon die........

AKPOS was hungry and went to ‘mai shayi’ (men selling tea and bread).The following transpired between the man and the mai shayi.

AKPOS: u get loaf of bread?

ABOKI:yes

AKPOS: bring one; slice am two and put 2 sachet of butter in btwn.

ABOKI: happy and tankin God 4 bringing customer, was just doing as he is told)

AKPOS: u get egg?

ABOKI: yes customer

AKPOS: fry 6 eggs put am btwn the bread.

ABOKI: Okay customer

AKPOS:u get sadin 4 inside gongoni?

ABOKI: yes customer everytin dey.

AKPOS: put two gongoni inside the bread.

ABOKI: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, in his mind he wil make a lot of money 2day)

AKPOS:u don finish? Oya press the bread for me.

ABOKI: See am customer, i don prepare am finish.

AKPOS: . . . . . OYA CUT TEN NAIRA OWN FOR ME

Apos was sick last nite, so the doctor gave him a tablet.
he(Akpos) started cutting the sides of the tablet,
the doctor asked him; "y r u cutting the sides?"
Akpos replied; "to avoid side effects"

Press

Akpos joined the Nigerian Army. After the hard training he received, Akpos successfully passed. At the passing out ceremony the commandant assigned the postings.

Commandant: Ambali kuka!
Ambali: Sir!
Commandant: Posted to abuja.
Ambali: Yes sir, thank u sir!

Commandant: Muniru Sulai man!
Muniru: Sir!
Commandant: Posted to warri
Muniru: Yes sir, thank u sir!

Commandant: Akpos mujekarovwo ogidigbe!
Akpors: Sir!!
Commandant: Posted to Maiduguri
Akpors: RETIRED SIR!!!#:-s

Akpos walk into a post office, he buys an envelop from the cashier and Akpos open the envelop and screamed aloud into the envelop.... The furious cashier ask Akpos, "Why are you screaming into the envelop"? Akpos replied her........"I am sending a voice mail"=D=))=D=))