The Walk Against Rape in Lagos which encouraged rape victims to speak out; and the Peace Prayer Outreach in Kwara State which enriched the lives of those in need and advocated for understanding between religions. These efforts all served to promote peace, non-violence and solidarity within Nigeria and more importantly advanced the vision of Peace One Day.

Obiang who was once married to the 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' host, Frank Edoho said, "Just to dare to argue with your husband is like a challenge in your home. The woman is challenging the man and tempers flay and then you snap, then there is a slap. He says 'I am sorry it is a mistake' then says 'sorry I won't do it again,' then he does it again, again and again.

Narrating a particular incident, Hadiza, estranged wife of musician Zaki Adzay, said, "he slapped me on the face so (and said) 'get up you must abort this pregnancy today. Now that I am married to you, you want to hook me with pregnancy because I am a celebrity.' Then there was a wardrobe in our room so I put my tummy in there and then he continued beating me. He had some folic acid in his hand and said I should swallow it and abort the pregnancy. When he gave me I said he should allow me take water, thank God the door was open so I ran away."


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFqv8Azlsjc

I am so happy the code of silence is getting broken. People are living to tell the story, it is not "Beaten to death" story. Hopefully women and men in similar situation will see that they owe themselves and their kids their lives and a violence free home first more than keeping up apprearance and societal expectations of staying married even when the price to pay is a life

Celebrity, indeed! Celebrity beast in human skin!

hmmmmmmmm maybe one day.......... some other so called celebrities will also be exposed. My mouth is shut for now

watched this yesterday and cried - just sad.

I am trying hard to understand why MTN will still let that Man host a family show

Debrief, have their really been a code of silence when it comes to educated, enlightened women married to stars(by nigerian standards)?

NGOs, the press, police and everyone is willing to listen and help them Cos either them or their husbands have got a name. . .

The code of silence is still on and would continue to remain so unless their is a general overhaul of our system, mentality.

For an average iya buliki, mama Ngozi facing domestic violence, neighbours might be sympathetic but still advise her to stay because they know that :
Without money or name(fame), the police won't listen to her story much more do something.
If she leaves, on their advice, would they feed her?
If the hubby attacks them the neighbour, the police won't protect you.
Basically, its all man for him or her self. The rules only change when there is cash or connection involved.

The lagos office of the public defender is trying though but right now, the Nigerian factor of "who-do-you-know" is gradually crawling in.

I admire the women that were able to put down their feet and say NO to all forms of violence. Bravo!

ifyalways: Debrief, have their really been a code of silence when it comes to educated, enlightened women married to stars(by nigerian standards)?

NGOs, the press, police and everyone is willing to listen and help them Cos either them or their husbands have got a name. . .

The code of silence is still on and would continue to remain so unless their is a general overhaul of our system, mentality.

For an average iya buliki, mama Ngozi facing domestic violence, neighbours might be sympathetic but still advise her to stay because they know that :
Without money or name(fame), the police won't listen to her story much more do something.
If she leaves, she on their advice, would they feed her?
If the hubby attacks them the neighbour, the police won't protect you.
Basically, its all man for him or her self. The rules only change when there is cash or connection involved.

The lagos office of the public defender is trying though but right now, the Nigerian factor of "who-do-you-know" is gradually seeping in.

Ify I am not disagreeing with you but do you know it is harder for a known person to come out and say this is what I am going through, all the media smiles, hand holding and public display of affection is fake?
Do you know what it means to have your life splashed on the pages of newspapers, truths, half truths, outright lies put out for the public to read and judge you? Its a 2 edged sword, who knows mama Ngozi? If she decides to leave and raise her children on her own, highest her neighbors and some family will talk but for these people to come out they are exposed to all sorts.
I agree that these celebs get more attention but If they can use their star power to show other women in similar situations that with all our make up, designer shoes and clothes, we are going through the same thing you are going through and we have come out alive you can too.
hadiza doesnt have anything, she didnt even finish school because of her controlling husband, if she can so can they.
We should all engourage Mama Ngozis and Mama Asabes to have something to hold on to so when they gather the courage to leae they have something to hold on to. I hate helpleness. Lets us encourage our sisters, anties, daughters and friends to say no to idleness and helplessness.

in as much as i empathize with the 'victimized' ladies, we should all understand that their are two sides to every story especially when it involves relationship.


Before passing judgement and calling names, its fair to hear the side of the other persons involved - women have a way of telling domestic violence stories to suite their side

am not married so don't crucify me .

Actually ify its a bit more difficult cos ur biz now becomes everyones biz. and u have to remember as with all abusers the man (or woman) pretend to all and sundry that they are good.

In my case its only now people actually believe that my ex was in fact a bad abusive person - everyone thought I was just talking too much grammar at the time.

To be honest even if you raise awareness the awareness starts in the home - the cycle will always continue if people live in a abusive home and grow up thinking its normal.

Also people need to remember that love and submission go hand in hand and its not just the responsibility for a woman to submit

cotton101: Actually ify its a bit more difficult cos ur biz now becomes everyones biz. and u have to remember as with all abusers the man (or woman) pretend to all and sundry that they are good.

In my case its only now people actually believe that my ex was in fact a bad abusive person - everyone thought I was just talking too much grammar at the time.

To be honest even if you raise awareness the awareness starts in the home - the cycle will always continue if people live in a abusive home and grow up thinking its normal.

Also people need to remember that love and submission go hand in hand and its not just the responsibility for a woman to submit

Exactly, if people knew my real identity here they would have probably read and commented on my own case years ago. My Father was portrayed as a controlling, manipulative father in law whose interference cost me my marriage, while in truth the man only spoke when he saw clearly I was in danger. He was dragged in the mud, people made comments as "see why it is not good to marry all these rich peoples daughters, Maybe she cant cook, doesnt have home training" etc. So it goes both ways. It is never easy for poor, rich, famous or not famous people, it is a loss, painfull one, poor or rich, you will feel it, poor or rich you will face the talks, poor or rich you get the same bruises, poor or rich you hide it and tolerate it, poor or rich women here face the same discrimination, poor or rich, abuse is condoled and hushed up

greateros: in as much as i empathize with the 'victimized' ladies, we should all understand that their are two sides to every story especially when it involves relationship.


Before passing judgement and calling names, its fair to hear the side of the other persons involved - women have a way of telling domestic violence stories to suite their side

am not married so don't crucify me .

I was about to say/type same before I saw your post.

Be that as it may, domestic violence is completely inexcusable

Domestic Violence is NOT acceptable

And unfortunately some people will continue to do this if they can get away with socially and legally. Tts a power struggle for almost all perpetrators, they will find anyways possible to gain their control

Regardless of if its from the men or the women - its not ACCEPTABLE

People need to find out how better to resolve their Anger and Insecurities please. And ask for Help before they kill someone

How can we start prosecuting the culprits? I know just making one or two scapegoats out of the lot would go a long way in teaching a lesson to present and future spousal abusers.

Nigerians and their wahala. . .I have stated this time and time again. . .Violence is a part of our society. . .Its is part of our DNA. Until we eschew violence then women can keep crying day and night, but the problem will never be sloved. . .The same women that complain about domestic violence are the same women that beat up their house helps, their younger ones and also encourage their elder children to beat up their younger ones all the time when they offend them. . .In our schools we are thought that violence is the only way when a person commits an offence, when a junoir student offends a senoir student the only answwr is violence, a students offends a teacher same thing, violence, when a younger brother/sister offends an elder brother/sister the answer is violence many parents encourage their elder siblings to discipline the younger ones with acts of violenve. . .Child offends parents, violence. . .Violence permeates our society. . .We encourage it every where. How do we expect it not to manifest in our homes. . .The society has thought us right from school and from our homes that if any subordinate offends you beat him/her up, we carry the same violence to our homes and offices. . .why won't there be excessive violence when the society teaches us that it is the only way to solve our problems when our subordinates offend us?. . . .The same women that grew up beating their house helps, younger brothers, younger sisters and younger cousins will come on nairaland and be forming "my husband beat me up". . .When you your self have been contributing to the circle of violence that is rife in our society all your lives. . .Make wuna carry go jare. . .

Many "PEOPLE" as you see them

Na different disguise dem dey oh!
Animal in Human Skin
Animal dey .....suit oh!
Animal dey wear agbada.....................................

I cant Ever forget FELA'S words

Can we also hear the guys' side of the story??

Women and their blame game...

*Yawns*

debrief08: I am trying hard to understand why MTN will still let that Man host a family show

I just weak! So out of all the educated and learned people in nigeria,there is no one else to anchor the programme except Frank Edoho? I don tire to see im face sef! When you see him on TV he looks so innocent as if he can't hurt a fly! Meanwhile he is a wife beater at home.
As for Zaki Adzey wey dey carry torch about,na im make rechargeable torch cost for market.
Wey dat KSolo sef wey dey beat im wife come dey form for us say na publicity stunt im dey do with im wife? Shame on them all!

i wish we cld also hear Frank Edoho's side of d story!
I remember he was d 1 dat informed d public of d called off union as he said back den with a tweet :'...due to irreconcilable differences...'

oh yeah! He may have been abusive but let's c if he responds 2 dis video soon...

debrief08: I am trying hard to understand why MTN will still let that Man host a family show

Because there is no evidence except hear say and rumor mongering does not add or subtract from the job description of Frank.
Just the mere fact that the woman is vomiting all these nonsense does not make it credible or true. What would you say if another video is published tomorrow where Frank also narrate his own ordeals? Which would you believe?

If you have a marital union with someone and the terms of that agreement is being violated, you should know what to do than pandering to emotions.

debrief08: I am trying hard to understand why MTN will still let that Man host a family show

And who exactly do you want him to be replaced with? Listen the MTN is not about family values or morals but about general knowledge, MTN cares more about competence and quality presentation than ur so called morals. Ok I dont support wife or husband bashing but that should stay out of ones business. People outside always play the ‘good family man‘ until their own little secret leaks. So many people on this page abuse their spouses but ofcourse since it‘s not open we are saints and are qualified to judge others. I say away with that.

This should teach us men to learn to keep our things in our sokoto.

kutchs: And who exactly do you want him to be replaced with? Listen the MTN is not about family values or morals but about general knowledge, MTN cares more about competence and quality presentation than ur so called morals. Ok I dont support wife or husband bashing but that should stay out of ones business. People outside always play the ‘good family man‘ until their own little secret leaks. So many people on this page abuse their spouses but ofcourse since it‘s not open we are saints and are qualified to judge others. I say away with that.

Short, simple, meaningful and direct. Thank you.

its only in nigeria a woman will have a broken arm bloody face and people will ask for the other side of the story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2206799/Chad-Johnson-sentenced-probation-domestic-violence-awareness-classes-contest-plea-ex-wife-headbutt.html

Which zaki are we referring to here? Is it that musician that uses torch light to sing?
Ha, I used to respect him as a devoted Muslim. I saw him as conservative & cool headed.

Na wa oh, hypocrisy is the middle name for most Nigerians.
Can pple now see y it's not good to criticize Charly boy for being erratic & crazy, his he not more straight forward than these men that have innocent/meek faces?
All that glitters is not gold!
Embrace imperfection/reality in a man and you won't be sorry.
Women should stop chasing shadows, there is nothing like a perfect man, just look for a man that you can vouch for & that is real enough to show you what you are getting yourself into from the on set.

Nonsense. So because some serpents concocted fantastical tales, we should believe them? Have we heard from their entranged husbands? What makes these spiteful women's claims likely to be more true than their respective husbands' own accounts?

Yeye things wey dey find sympathy wey dem no deserve. Na Devil go punish that Hurricane Catarrhrine wey wan spoil Frank career. Useless witch.

kutchs: And who exactly do you want him to be replaced with? Listen the MTN is not about family values or morals but about general knowledge, MTN cares more about competence and quality presentation than ur so called morals. Ok I dont support wife or husband bashing but that should stay out of ones business. People outside always play the ‘good family man‘ until their own little secret leaks. So many people on this page abuse their spouses but ofcourse since it‘s not open we are saints and are qualified to judge others. I say away with that.

Jeez. What rubbish! It's only because you live in a pseudo-sane society you are able to type such with your mangled fingers.

Developed societies will either suspend you immediately whilst under investigation or get sacked.

cotton101: its only in nigeria a woman will have a broken arm bloody face and people will ask for the other side of the story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2206799/Chad-Johnson-sentenced-probation-domestic-violence-awareness-classes-contest-plea-ex-wife-headbutt.html

Were you in the car with Chad and Evelyn??

And did you watch basketball housewives? - Evelyn is as ghetto as they come, and the only reason why Chad got crucified is because of his past, and because she called the feds on him..

Chad vs. Evelyn is a non story - Chad shouldn't have married that hoodrat in the first place...

Lets wait to hear d other side of dis stories.

Please a husband should not strike the wife no matter the provocation. Your wife is your own body.

Well Its so heart breaking because lots of women are currently undergoing domestic abuse from their husband.
I came across this link in the course of researching of traits of abusive husbands. Am sure Someone also needs to share it with a friend

Signs to Look for in an Abusive Personality
Many people are interested in ways to predict whether they are about to become involved with someone who will be physically abusive. Below is a list of common behaviors that are seen in abusive people. Many victims do not realize that these early behaviors are warning signs of potential future physical abuse, such as the last four (***) behaviors. If the person has several (three or more) of the first 12 listed behaviors, there is a strong potential for physical violence -- the more signs a person has, the more likely the person is a batterer.
1) Jealousy:
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love; jealousy has nothing to do with love, it is a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust. He will question the other person about whom she talks to, accuse her of flirting, or be jealous of the time she spends with her family or friends. As the jealousy progresses, he may call frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may refuse to let you work for fear you will meet someone else, or even do strange behaviors like checking your car mileage or asking friends to watch you.
2) Controlling Behavior:
At first, the batterer will say that this behavior is because he is concerned with your safety, your need to use your time well, or your need to make good decisions. He will be angry if you are late coming back from an appointment or a class, he will question you closely about where you went and whom you talked to. As this behavior gets worse, he may not let you make personal decisions about your clothing, hair style, appearance.
3) Quick Involvement:
Many people in abusive relationships dated or knew their abusive partners for less than six months before they were married, engaged or living together. He comes on like a whirlwind, claiming, “You are the only person I could ever talk to” or “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. He will pressure you to commit to the relationship in such a way that you may later feel guilty or that you are “letting him down” if you want to slow down involvement or break up.
4. Unrealistic Expectations:
Abusive people will expect their partner to meet all their needs; he expects you to be the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, the perfect friend or the perfect lover. He will say things like, “If you love me, I’m all you need and you are all I need.” You are supposed to take care of all of his emotional needs.
5. Isolation:
The abusive person will try to cut you off from all resources. He accuses you of being “tied to your mother’s apron strings,” or your friends of “trying to cause trouble” between you. If you have a friend of the opposite sex, you are “going out on him” and if you have friends of the same sex, he may accuse you of being gay.
6. Blames Others for Problems:
He is chronically unemployed, someone is always waiting for him to do wrong or mess up or someone is always out to get him. He may make mistakes and blame you for upsetting him. He may accuse you of preventing him from concentrating on school. He will tell you that you are at fault for almost anything that goes wrong.
7. Blames Others for Feelings:
He will tell you, “You make me mad,” “You are hurting me by not doing what I want you to do,” or “I can’t help being angry.” He really makes the decisions about how he thinks or feels, but will use feelings to manipulate you.

Hypersensitivity:
An abusive person is easily insulted, and claims that their feelings are hurt when really he is very mad. He often takes the slightest setbacks as personal attacks. He will rant about things that are really just part of living like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being asked to help others with chores.
9) Cruelty to Animals or Children:
This is a person who punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain and suffering. He may tease younger brothers or sisters until they cry.
10).“Playful” use of Force in Sex:
This kind of person is likely to throw you down or try to hold you down during making out, or he may want you to act out fantasies in which you are helpless. He is letting you know that the idea of sex is exciting. He may show little concern about whether you want affection and may sulk or use anger to manipulate you into compliance.
11) Verbal Abuse:
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen when the abusive person tries to degrade you, curses you, calls you names or makes fun of your accomplishments. The abusive person will tell you that you are stupid and unable to function without him. This may involve waking you up to verbally abuse you or not letting you go to sleep until you talk out an argument.
12. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:
Many people are confused by their abusive partner’s “sudden” changes in mood -- you may think he has a mental problem because he is nice one minute and the next minute he is exploding. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical of people who are abusive to their partners, and these behaviors are related to other characteristics like hypersensitivity.
13. *** Past Battering:
This person may say that he has hit girlfriends in the past but the other person “made him do it.” You may hear from relatives or past girlfriends that he is abusive. An abusive person will be physically abusive to any one they are with if the other person is with them long enough for the violence to begin; situational circumstances do not change a person into an abuser.
14. *** Threats of violence:
This could include any threat of physical force meant to control you: “I’ll slap you,” “I’ll kill you,” or “I’ll break your neck." Most people do not threaten their partners, but the abusive person will try to excuse his threats by saying, “Everybody talks that way.”
15. *** Breaking or Striking Objects:
This behavior is used as a punishment (breaking loved possessions), but is mostly used to terrorize you into submission. The abuser may beat on the table with his fists, throw objects at or near you, kick the car, slam the door or drive at a high rate of speed or recklessly to scare you. Not only is this a sign of extreme emotional immaturity, but there is great danger when someone thinks they have the “right” to punish or frighten you.
16. *** Any Force During an Argument:
This may involve an abusive partner holding you down, physically restraining you from leaving the room, any pushing or shoving. He may hold you against the wall and say, “You are going to listen to me.”

IF YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION PLS READ
http://utpolice.utk.edu/PDF/Victim%20Assistance/Signs%20to%20Look%20for%20in%20an%20Abusive%20Personality.pdf
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm