now this is something to be applauded. This Nigerian mentality that the man is the stronger sex should be broken. Thumbs up for women in general and all the women who have to endure this kind of treatment from their spouses.

kutchs: And who exactly do you want him to be replaced with? Listen the MTN is not about family values or morals but about general knowledge, MTN cares more about competence and quality presentation than ur so called morals. Ok I dont support wife or husband bashing but that should stay out of ones business. People outside always play the ‘good family man‘ until their own little secret leaks. So many people on this page abuse their spouses but ofcourse since it‘s not open we are saints and are qualified to judge others. I say away with that.

Listen mate, Domestic violence ala battery/assault is essentially a criminal act. The traditional view of a man as “a wife beater” is no longer the standard. A female is equally capable too.
Now I know in Nigeria, most would swear by the tagline - ‘should stay out of ones business’… until shite hits the ceiling.
Have you ever heard of a ‘Moral Clause’? ie one which (to paraphrase) forbids scandalous behaviour per se. The contract in question refers instead to “an act which constitutes a felony offense involving moral turpitude under federal, state or local laws”

As a public figure, Frank is expected to uphold strong moral values especially one who is popular and well-known amongst young people, carries a certain degree of responsibility for the influence one may have, since he or she will be treated as a role model.

Numerous celebrities get dropped or lose endorsements for the "lesser" crimes of drunken behaviour, hate speech, drugs, prostitution much less a case of domestic violence.
It is also in MTN’s best interest to project their organisation or the show they sponsor in a reputable family oriented setting. They could have issued a statement concerning their stance on assault and steps taken to address it by say an in-house investigation rather than looking like a gormless company without an iota of public interest at heart.

In the case of a long running programme as Who Wants’ to be a Millionaire’, this step is usually done in order to protect a project's reputation. In some cases, misdemeanour can actually plunge show ratings for a programme, sponsorship withdrawal, loss of advert revenues and loss of public confidence for an employer.

I know you wouldn’t be happy when a man that batters your sis (God forbid) and then he’s free to walk around heck even smiling back at you on TV or singing on stage.

Obviously there are cases of women lying and the penalties for perjury are indeed heavy and most certainly involve jail terms for the person involved.

kutchs: Dude u dont need to get so personal, address the issue I raised and leave my fingers out of it cos u‘re neither Hadiza nor Frankie‘s ex. FYI anyway my fingers are straight and well formed. Now to the issue u raised u see what is killing this world is our false morality, people sit on judgement morally over others while their own misdeeds remained covered at home. Anyway I know MTN knows very well the quality they ahve got and even ur vituperations here wont change anything. If Kate knows she was assaulted she should go to court and get Frank convicted and perhaps he may then be thrown out. He‘s not going to get sacked cos of some probably cooked up yarns by an estranged wife.

[quote
author=iv4fb]Inasmuch as domestic violence is inexcusable, let's also
face reality, some women are devil's incarnate, for such women, you have
to tame them somehow. [/quote] women are not animals dat need to b 'tamed'. if u cant live with her cos of her attitude leave her and look 4 anoda woman!

stagger: Please a husband should not strike the wife no matter the provocation. Your wife is your own body.

So what happens when d woman strikes first. Beside my house is this gentle man. Anytime they quarrel, d wife raises her voice and pple including me would say t
Hat that useless irresponsible man has started beating his wife again. Not until d laSt quarrel when d man mentioned that that was d first time of beating his wife since they got married over 20 yrs ago. The woman actually slapped him first and he responded several times. The woman did not fault her husband's claim. The man said that was not d first time of receiving such slap from his wife but that he responded like that so that pple could know what he haS been passing through.

cotton101: its only in nigeria a woman will have a broken arm bloody face and people will ask for the other side of the story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2206799/Chad-Johnson-sentenced-probation-domestic-violence-awareness-classes-contest-plea-ex-wife-headbutt.html

Didn't Amb. Wigwe's wife have a 'bloody face'?

logica: You know their type eh? The only way they can get any action is to be the "good guy".

Don't mind them , cowards.

2good:

The bolded and colored shows you the level of hypocrisy entrenched in the Nigerian society. People want to choose what is good or bad based on their own intuition which is influenced by religious, cultural and tribal orientation. Oyedepo was practically exonerated by majority of Nigerian Christians and yet the same Christians will cry out to the public if they are treated the same way.
Bunch of hypocrites.

Thank you and Dayo for pointing out the double standards represented by the Oyedepo case in the context of this debate. It's extremely irritating the way people pick and choose what they think is 'good' or 'bad' depending on how it suits their purposes.

Indeed what I find most disgusting in this wife battering discourse is that MOST women do not bother to emphasise the need for women to behave right, to avoid verbally/emotionally/psychologically/physically abusing their husbands, and to control their own provocative perversity in order to eliminate or reduce the chances of attracting violent backlash from the frustrated husbands. Instead, all they keep saying is that a man should never hit a woman "no matter what". This 'no matter what' argument is extremely disgusting to me, as it suggests that women are free to do whatever pleases them to provoke a man, but that men must always exercise robotic, super-human self-control and not react to such provocation. My goodness! Since when did men become less human than women?

As long as these deceitful, perverse women refuse to acknowledge that some of their actions and behaviour can lead to violent backlash, then some of us would not take them seriously in this domestic violence discussion.

Chidosqi: Being a married man I can tell you that most of this women are lying. They will just tell you half truth. In most cases women are the cause of the beatings they receive.Their words are so biting and actually heavier that the blows they're dealt.
The truth is most women go into marriages half knowing the power of their tongue. Do you know that the devil kept Jobs wife alive cos he knows the power of her words.
I implore women married and single to study the power of their words.
Of course their are men who find themselves in being violent to their spouses, those ones need help.

s

violent: It's with a certain level of disbelief that i read people here demanding to hear "the other side of the story"...which by all accounts will likely begin with statements such as:

"I slapped her because..."

"I punched her because..."

Nairaland is a microcosm of the Nigerian society afterall. The evidence is all too to the eye. People who are sympathetic to wife beaters and would rather listen to a man's excuse for beating up his wife are themselves closet wife beaters. People like that deserve no place in a forward looking society.

Domestic violence should never be tolerated...regardless what the other side of the story for perpetuating such violence may be.

You just said my mind. When I was in early secondary school, I read a book which really helped guide me, can't remember the name now. The summary was that I am the only one responsible for my actions and reactions. No excuses. Say someone slapped me, whether justified or not, that is his problem. There are several ways to respond to that. I could slap back, walk away and plan for revenge, forgive him, etc. But whatever response I choose, it is my decision and problem. I cannot say, " He slapped me which is why I slapped him back. He pushed me to it". The truth is that I slapped back because I chose and wanted to. There is no justification for bad behavior and you cannot claim to be mature and responsible if you do not take responsibilities for your actions and reactions. It has helped me a lot to make the right decisions in my life knowing I cannot bear to look at myself in the mirror otherwise. And when I behave badly, I own up to it too. There is just no excuse for domestic violence no matter the provocation.

There is a saying in my place that when a woman understands the husband people will say she is controlling him with "juju". To be honest, the success of any marriage depends largely on the woman. I site myself as an example, am very hot tempered but I've been married for 5yrs without laying a finger on my wife, just because my wife doesn't talk back at me when she offends me, she will either apologize or keep quiet. No same man hits a woman who did not say anything no matter how terrible the man might be.

Women should guard there mouth and protect there marriage.

youngies: The Walk Against Rape in Lagos which encouraged rape victims to speak out; and the Peace Prayer Outreach in Kwara State which enriched the lives of those in need and advocated for understanding between religions. These efforts all served to promote peace, non-violence and solidarity within Nigeria and more importantly advanced the vision of Peace One Day.

Obiang who was once married to the 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' host, Frank Edoho said, "Just to dare to argue with your husband is like a challenge in your home. The woman is challenging the man and tempers flay and then you snap, then there is a slap. He says 'I am sorry it is a mistake' then says 'sorry I won't do it again,' then he does it again, again and again.

Narrating a particular incident, Hadiza, estranged wife of musician Zaki Adzay, said, "he slapped me on the face so (and said) 'get up you must abort this pregnancy today. Now that I am married to you, you want to hook me with pregnancy because I am a celebrity.' Then there was a wardrobe in our room so I put my tummy in there and then he continued beating me. He had some folic acid in his hand and said I should swallow it and abort the pregnancy. When he gave me I said he should allow me take water, thank God the door was open so I ran away."


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFqv8Azlsjc

Question: Why did they decide to talk now? Of what importance is it? Does this have a positive impact on the society as far as matters of marital status are concern? What I expect is that they should have a message to share to young people on how to either wholeheartedly follow their husbands in trust and let their own ideologies be second or how to quickly take a decision and pull out of the marriage when faced with a situation like this instead of trying to damage the images of their ex husbands I cannot be deceived I have lived life above this.

If my ex girlfriend today becomes, the CEO of a multi national company, would I come to give a crazy testimony on how she had some strong will against mine during our courtship which lead to our breakup. Come-on guys, this is just some bullshiiiit testimony....

There's no excuse to hit a woman, but folks talking about the west. You really need to see the abuse of power by nigerian women in the west. Goodness it's nauseating.

There's no excuse to hit a woman, but folks talking about the west. You really need to see the abuse of power by nigerian women in the west. Goodness it's nauseating. Whitee wey get law no carry am put for head like the immigrants

I know I'll be crucified for this but I genuinely believe there's a big difference between wife battering and giving a woman a slap.

Some women have a mouth on them and if left unchecked can cause damage just by words alone...in some of these cases it is natural for a man pushed to the edge to issue a slap of caution and in order to stop the verbal assault. If not, she go just dey go dey go dey go, you know Nigerian women now. They run themselves down with words much less a man who they can ridicule in public. So sometimes you never know what provoked the slap.

To be frank, I've done it twice and in both instances it was provoked by the "mouth" issue and in both instances, the mistake was never repeated again by those who made it. However it was easy for them to market the issue to other people as "he slapped me" to which the normal question is "what did you do?". No normal man slaps his wife for no just cause. However, I believe if a woman's attitude makes you consider slapping her on a regular basis, you should exit that relationship there's no need being involved in something that brings out the worst in you. A marriage should have some mutual respect as a foundation not damaging your humanity and that of another person. Not something you want your kids to see.

As for the consistent battering of a woman for no just cause, that one is some sadistic stuff and trust me it usually applies to men who have issues that should ordinarily be evident during the dating period. Some people are just unstable. For some its an alcohol thing or they're just unbalanced.

Like seriously,people r asking for d other side of d story?What else wud b d other side of d story if not;'i beat her up because she nags,disrespects me bla bla'.wud he beat hs colleagus up if they disrespected him?I knocked 2 teeth out of my bro inlaw's mouth for beatn my sis,beast cudnt even throw 1 punch.na whr women dey,na there som men dey get power.*Spits in disgust fr som Nigerians*

tai2: I know I'll be crucified for this but I genuinely believe there's a big difference between wife battering and giving a woman a slap.

Some women have a mouth on them and if left unchecked can cause damage just by words alone...in some of these cases it is natural for a man pushed to the edge to issue a slap of caution and in order to stop the verbal assault. If not, she go just dey go dey go dey go, you know Nigerian women now. They run themselves down with words much less a man who they can ridicule in public. So sometimes you never know what provoked the slap.

To be frank, I've done it twice and in both instances it was provoked by the "mouth" issue and in both instances, the mistake was never repeated again by those who made it. However it was easy for them to market the issue to other people as "he slapped me" to which the normal question is "what did you do?". No normal man slaps his wife for no just cause. However, I believe if a woman's attitude makes you consider slapping her on a regular basis, you should exit that relationship there's no need being involved in something that brings out the worst in you. A marriage should have some mutual respect as a foundation not damaging your humanity and that of another person. Not something you want your kids to see.

As for the consistent battering of a woman for no just cause, that one is some sadistic stuff and trust me it usually applies to men who have issues that should ordinarily be evident during the dating period. Some people are just unstable. For some its an alcohol thing or they're just unbalanced.

Smh..If only these women were stronger than you are, you think they wouldn't have beaten you up?

Would you have slapped your female boss\macho man no matter the tongue lashing??

Would you have slapped these two women if they were female boxers\wrestlers...

The ONLY reason you slapped them was cause you were stronger and them and they wouldn't have retaliated.

Majority of female beaters and their supporters are just cowards..exercising your strength on someone who is physically weaker..

Why am I not even surprised..most of them are products of homes where their fathers beat their mothers.,

[quote author=mazaje]Nigerians and their wahala. . .I have stated this time and time again. . .Violence is a part of our society. . .Its is part of our DNA. Until we eschew violence then women can keep crying day and night, but the problem will never be sloved. . .The same women that complain about domestic violence are the same women that beat up their house helps, their younger ones and also encourage their elder children to beat up their younger ones all the time when they offend them. . .

How true. You should see our men and women on the street when a minor accident occurs. Once saw a woman slap a man for hitting her in traffic. The poor gentleman couldn't hit her back which was commendable, but not all men have that patience.

Violence against women is despicable, but I've come to find that some women now liar about it in a bid to get sympathy when their marriages hit the rock. I realized this after a couple close to me seperated. Turns out the chic was lying through her teeth just because she didn't want to be in the marriage anymore.

Please men don't hit your women. Please be honest about issues relating to domestic violence. It's hard enough to prove in many homes. Don't make it harder.

o.obim:
Like seriously,people r asking for d other side of d story?What else wud b d other side of d story if not;'i beat her up because she nags,disrespects me bla bla'.wud he beat hs colleagus up if they disrespected him?I knocked 2 teeth out of my bro inlaw's mouth for beatn my sis,beast cudnt even throw 1 punch.na whr women dey,na there som men dey get power.*Spits in disgust fr som Nigerians*

Hadn't even read this before I typed my post..

Why dint your bro-in-law return your blows..because he met his match this time around and not a woman, the weaker one..

I keep saying if women were as physically strong as most men, they would not be battered by these cowards..

I'm just surprised at the 'other side of the story' line..

Would these men fold their arms waiting for the other side of the story if their sisters\daughters come home with a broken rib and battered face??

greateros: in as much as i empathize with the 'victimized' ladies, we should all understand that their are two sides to every story especially when it involves relationship.


Before passing judgement and calling names, its fair to hear the side of the other persons involved - women have a way of telling domestic violence stories to suite their side

am not married so don't crucify me .

May you live long, I love it when people think before they speak.

Abuse of anybody is wrong period

however 2 phrases come to mind and reinforces the fact that you have to hear both sides of a story

1. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
2. no be who first go police dey win case

lets bear these in mind when passing judgments

Cuddlemii: Which zaki are we referring to here? Is it that musician that uses torch light to sing?
Ha, I used to respect him as a devoted Muslim. I saw him as conservative & cool headed.

Na wa oh, hypocrisy is the middle name for most Nigerians.
Can pple now see y it's not good to criticize Charly boy for being erratic & crazy, his he not more straight forward than these men that have innocent/meek faces?
All that glitters is not gold!
Embrace imperfection/reality in a man and you won't be sorry.
Women should stop chasing shadows, there is nothing like a perfect man, just look for a man that you can vouch for & that is real enough to show you what you are getting yourself into from the on set.

Zaki is a xtian, he attends fountain of life church

I honestly don't have the time or patience to read thru d whole thread, but it's infuriating to see some people justifying this abominable behaviour.I'm a man, I'm married. There is absolutely no reason in d world that justifies domestic violence. All who do so should be shot, they're on the same level with rapists and child-molesters.

BlackBaron:

Jeez. What rubbish! It's only because you live in a pseudo-sane society you are able to type such with your mangled fingers.

Developed societies will either suspend you immediately whilst under investigation or get sacked.

Hypocrite! you play the judge, the jury and defender. Remove the moot in your our eyes so then you can see the log in another man's eyes. while listening you need to be attentive. There are 2 sides to a cion. We are not all born an angel. Instead of judging advise couples to study,endure, tolorate and submit to one another for the sake of the family not self.

I have learnt from experience that its better to hear from both sides...
I have heard from sources too that Frank Edoho's ex-wife gave the him 'hell' while it lasted.... so who do we believe?

shymexx: Can we also hear the guys' side of the story??

Women and their blame game...

*Yawns*

@crisycent.... hmmm.. u sound like someone who likes to have the best of both worlds. Truth is that you can eat your cake and have it ni..
When you sign up for marriage, all that hanging out with friends for drinks are tonned down, if you are a woman and you think your man should understand you are tired and cut you some slack.... just know for a fact that there are many women and young girl out there that will happily take ur 'husbands slacks'... Be careful what you wish for and dont allow the devil into your home by trying to practice your marriage the 'Oyibo' way.. We are africans!
The more we want to tend towards oyibo claiming that we are becoming 'modern', The more damage we do to ourselves and our society. Are we ready to deal with the high divorce rate, high rate of marital infidelity, large number of broken homes and lots of children raised by single parents?
For Ladies that say ' anyone can cook, it mustnt be me'....hmm.. True talk... anyone can cook...but when Laraba, Ngozi, amina, idara, jumoke and all dem girls appear and start 'cooking' for your man.... dont cry wolf o! cause you asked for it.

crisycent: We men must understand that our wife is not a slave....before you got married, you were doing your laundry so why should your wife do it now that you are married? Before you got married, you eat outside when you are hungry, now that you are married if your wife is tired or sick, why can't you let her be and buy food outside?

For the women, when you were dating this man called your husband, he used to hang out with his friends to drink, now that he is married, you question his hanging out... does that mean his friends are no longer important to him? Remember he met those friends before he met you!! Before you got married, you sleep alone in your fathers house, now that you are married, can't you manage to sleep alone if your husband couldn't make it home that day? Before you got married, you can't even touch your husbands phone, why are you now searching his pings and text messages? what did you put in there?

greateros: in as much as i empathize with the 'victimized' ladies, we should all understand that their are two sides to every story especially when it involves relationship.


Before passing judgement and calling names, its fair to hear the side of the other persons involved - women have a way of telling domestic violence stories to suite their side

am not married so don't crucify me .

Domestic violence is a two way thing. men are also abused both physically and emotionally in a lot of marriages/relationships.

Some men r also victims of women molestation. So,itz 5 & 6!

debrief08: I am trying hard to understand why MTN will still let that Man host a family show

With all due respect to MTN, they have shown us time and time again they are not interested in giving back to society. For them it is all business. Another instance is the recent closure of the MTN call center in Jos which had over 1,200 call reps. These reps were started on N30,000 per month with promises of increase. The trend continued as the said pay was far less than what their colleagues in neighboring states like Kaduna and Kano. When the state government and labour unions stepped in MTN pulled out rendering families jobless.
To my mind for all they care Frank is doing a great job on set they are not intestested in what image he is protraying. Its left for Nigerians who are so moved by upholding family values, boycott attendance or viewing of the 'who wants to be a millionaire show'. Until that happens and the Business oriented MTN sees drop in SMS home play figures (which equates to drop in viewers naira contribution), only then would we see a change

[quote author=shymexx]Can we also hear the guys' side of the story??

Women and their blame game...

*Yawns*

should that be an excuse to abuse the weaker sex?

greateros: in as much as i empathize with the 'victimized' ladies, we should all understand that their are two sides to every story especially when it involves relationship.


Before passing judgement and calling names, its fair to hear the side of the other persons involved - women have a way of telling domestic violence stories to suite their side

am not married so don't crucify me .

No man has any right to beat a woman. Simple