juleze: It's tough abstaining, especially for men, but it's possible. Most of the guys I have around me (male friends) are virgins and they are in their 30's (one for married this year). Once you start, you'll find it hard to stop, even when married, you'll not be content.

Please stay strong!

thats what they say o. starting and tasting will make u call for more. lm hoping someone who havent started would wait till the right time

Guitarlife: So painful that I am replying with a mobile but I will try my best.
DIVORCE IS NOT PERMITTED AFTER MARRIAGE. The passage most people harp on reads 'except for fornication' mathew 5:32.
Do you mean to tell me Jesus made a mistake that he meant to say adultery but had a slip of tongue and said fornication ?
We need to get some education as christians. It all boils down to the jewish tradition.
The jewish tradition holds marriage in such high esteem so much that even if you were just engaged to be married to a lady.
Note that you had not even gotten married. You were only engaged to severe that engagement you needed a divorce.
That was why Joseph couldn't just walk out on Mary when he found out that she was pregnant although they were not yet married.
Now an adultery could only happen in the case of a married person but for engaged people the term was still fornication if they had sexual relations.
In essence Jesus meant that it was only people who were engaged to be married that were eligible for a divorce and the only reason permitted for you bro to 'divorce' that your petulant fiancee is fornication.
In essence you have no right as a christian to call of a relationship note not marriage now, a relationship unless your fiancee has commited fornication.
Therefore even before going into a relationship we have to be sure it's headed for the altar all things being equal.
Now this is God's undiluted standard by my own limited understanding.
May God grant us all wisdom.

Thnx bro. But are u sayin in other words dat women shld stay in bad marriages? Marriages that have the potential of killin dem in d case of physical abuse or marriages dat traumatise d kids who see and hear d father hittin d mother and d terrible words he sayz 2 her? Are u sayin women shd stay in abusive marriages?

UmericanGirl:

We no be virgins.

glad 2 hear dat. i dont think i can handle a virgin.

Typing on an iPad isn't fun but here goes a tiny bit... My biggest problem when it comes to women has been threefold.... Family pressures and the need to absolutely dictate who I marry, indecisiveness on my part and the inherent fear that it may not work out. One thing I find out over the course of the last few years.... My best experiences with women have been those who were not "card carrying church members". It's as if the girls on the outside seem to understand what true submission, respect and how to relate with a man far far better than your regular bible thumpers who are ready to argue with u over the smallest things.
My simple motto.... Never marry a woman who is more spiritual than you, it will NOT work. At the end of the day what you want is a woman who understand s what it means to be your helpmeet, rock and chief supporter than the one who thinks her faith should be superior to her role in the home.

Chrisbenogor:
Nobody answered my question oh. Urgent answers needed biko.

I will ignore the bold worded question.
Whether thrusting sister did 50 and comes to Christ genuinely, she's a new creature.
Truth is that the consequences of what she did.in the past may still hunt her eg: numerous abortions. The moment she accepted Christ. None of those sins is remembered and a genuine Christian will never use it against her. (1cor 1:25-29)

toba: of course it shdnt be. yet u must be careful cos i feel so bad with the rate of divorce these days. it shd start by choosing the right person and Getting Gods approval

I would not agree with divorce.. and I know my partners in the past would. I could state a thousand reasons why I am still single.
I want marriage but I want to find my life partner first and not somebody that will quickly fall in and out of love. I want somebody who knows that you aren't always going to be "in love" with your partner but you will always love them and respect them.

There is or will be nothing like a perfect man/woman on this earth, but people moving towards perfection. If only we would let God do His work in our lives, we would definitely see a great change in our lives.
One thing that is evident among us Christians is that we only accepted Christ as Saviour but the Lordship of Christ in our lives is still not absolute, despite us calling Him Lord.

This thread is a joke! 3 pages and people are already arguing about divorce and fornicaton.

d king123:
glad 2 hear dat. i dont think i can handle a virgin.

Why not? You could train her how you want.

foluberry:


Thnx bro. But are u sayin in other words dat women shld stay in bad marriages? Marriages that have the potential of killin dem in d case of physical abuse or marriages dat traumatise d kids who see and hear d father hittin d mother and d terrible words he sayz 2 her? Are u sayin women shd stay in abusive marriages?

Well I'm not saying anything. I only tried to set the records straight but then I should suppose there is nothing prayer cannot do. Paul suggests that an unbelieving partner could get converted by a believer. The problem most times is that the women screaming blue murder are themselves culpable.
Otherwise, shouldn't light overshadow darkness ? Atleast my basic physics tells me so.

Gracious10:

I totally agree with u, virginity doesn't mean hood xter, someone can be a virgin and has terrible, unbearable xter. Had one in my church who told anyone who listened about her virginity yet she has no respect for anyone not even the pastors of the church. She lacked respect in every sense of it. So what's virginity without a proper xtian xter of a supposedly spirit filled xtian? Who lacks humility.. Am very sure xter is one priority in finding a partner.

what are the messages being preached in the churches today? where have we thrown good xters? i want a complete package. a wife that can cook, love my family, have respect, fear God and wouldnt be promiscuos. thats an all inclusive package

Is masturbation a sin against God? Does it lead one to hellfire? Please what do you think about it 'cos it has been bothering me for so long now.

Havilah93:
okay thanks....dat means one must be careful in choice of life partner

we are supposed to be role models to others as christians. christianity is a complete package. Everything we need can be found in the man Jesus

foluberry: Very nice thread. Very very...proud of d thoughts. Nyweiz I need thots on divorce. D bible says God hates divorce and I'm fully aware of dat but den I visited a church in Enugu and d pastor said so categorically dat all divorcees are endin up in hell! I was wowed. Where is d concept of grace? Where is dat written in d bible? I confronted d man durin tym 4 questns and ansas dat sum women go thru hell in dia marriages, mamy have patched and patched and dey r about 2 lose dia lives in d bad marriage but he was unapologetic so I jus left! Ur thots on this pls

Hello Folu,

God hates divorce... also God hates sin. But sinners that repents will go to heaven... so also separated man or woman that "remarries" will not be condemned.

Get this right, there is a major difference between religion and doctrine... We all practice doctrine, which is bad for our health. Looking back into the bible fully, you will understand that the bible says you should not divorce your partner. Who is a partner? That is the question here... The bible commends that He who finds a wife has found a good thing ... ... but what if she stops behaving like a wife The bible says Wives should attend, respect and love their husband... what is they stopped doing that for a long period... Bible says What God has joined together let no man come inbetween... What of the husband and wife... they are the ones involved so believe me... they can come into one accord to say NO... But our prayer is that it should not be so.

Why has it been said that divorce is bad... Everything about a doctrine has been to put us on the right path... Marrying this and that really endanger someone's life both physically and psychologically and most importantly spiritually... It drains the soul out of the spirit. Think of a guy that has married like five different ladies and lets say four of them have marine spirit or so... in going to meeting, believe me the guy will have bad dreams because he has been joined to all of them and everywhere they go, he goes to in the spirit. When trying to prove something, we should not just say the bad side, I think it is better to say what led to it being bad as I have said.

Brothers and Sisters, I am single, not married, 29 yrs, a guy, not engaged, working, studying... Divorce is BAD on the long run... Avoid it from NOW.

Stick i into your brain that you dont want it and plan towards avoiding it in your marriage. The lady and the guy are two different people, they should not look for good or bad traits in each other. Believe me it all comes down to LOVE. If you love someone and she loves you back, please go ahead... not love that is based on material or physical entities. Forget about bone of my bone flesh of my flesh... Why hasnt ur pastor told u that your bone of your bone is in Russia?

Marriage open eyes and do not go into it unprepared or undecided. When you get married, stick it into your head that the two of you are now new born babies... About to start learning about each other... in terms of attitude and traits and be DETERMINED to like, adapt and stick to it so as to make it work. If you are determined, you can love the person sitting next to you and have a happy home. If God has blessed a home, who is there to say NO?

We all pray that God should direct our path so we do not marry a lady that will bring down your life in all areas... cos to be sincere, some people are CURSED... Some are IDOLS-in-PERSON... Some are brainwashed... So pray heavily that the person you meet should also share same faith with you so both of you can walk spiritually with God cos if one person dey drag spiritually, the other too MUST drag cos two shall become one. If one is not even real christian but a church goer and maybe an ogbanje sef and ready to follow God, if you can verify that and ready to help the person... why not

Abegi I wan read newspaper o jare..

It is well

Gracious10:

I will ignore the bold worded question.
Whether thrusting sister did 50 and comes to Christ genuinely, she's a new creature.
Truth is that the consequences of what she did.in the past may still hunt her eg: numerous abortions. The moment she accepted Christ. None of those sins is remembered and a genuine Christian will never use it against her. (1cor 1:25-29)

provided she genuinely repented and never returned to her lust

May the Lord strengthen us all in these perverted generation. @Toba &Guitarlife, thanks for the thread. You are not alone in it but the pressure is high.
To our sisters out there, please we cherish virginity that is why we are willing to keep ours. And for those who have lost theirs whether by omission or comission, it is not too late to have a fresh start.
#Virginity is not a requirement to make heaven BUT is a good step in that direction#

marimaar: Is masturbation a sin against God? Does it lead one to hellfire? Please what do you think about it 'cos it has been bothering me for so long now.

lets define it. before u bring out ur thing to start self servicing, there would be some immoral thoughts in ur heart. once u start, u'll be imagining doing the act. where does that leave u? out if the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

I heard about Spiritual Konji, I would like to know if some Konji are spiritual

Guitarlife: Did you read the whole post ? I am not talking from inference here, I practically took the words out of the mouth of Jesus. Mathew 5:32 is clear enough though it may appeared skewed due to what 'pastors' have made it look like.
The key word is FORNICATION AND NOT ADULTERY. Adultery is a non-issue, the panacea for adultery is forgiveness except you think Jesus made a mistake and meant to say adultery.
We should learn to put our emotions at bay when dividing the word. This is even clear enough, no ambiguity. If you are having doubts please reread my post.
God bless you.

I will go through the post again and re-read from Matthew 5 again, but the essence of no divorce is FORGIVENESS.
To be frank with ourselves, if we Christians would love our spouses just as Christ loved the church, there won't be any break-ups whatsoever.

Job.32: 7 I said, Days should speak, and multitude of years should teach wisdom. 8 But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding. 9 Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgment. 10 Therefore I said, Hearken to me; I also will shew mine opinion.

ledafaze:

Hello Folu,

God hates divorce... also God hates sin. But sinners that repents will go to heaven... so also separated man or woman that "remarries" will not be condemned.

Get this right, there is a major difference between religion and doctrine... We all practice doctrine, which is bad for our health. Looking back into the bible fully, you will understand that the bible says you should not divorce your partner. Who is a partner? That is the question here... The bible commends that He who finds a wife has found a good thing ... ... but what if she stops behaving like a wife The bible says Wives should attend, respect and love their husband... what is they stopped doing that for a long period... Bible says What God has joined together let no man come inbetween... What of the husband and wife... they are the ones involved so believe me... they can come into one accord to say NO... But our prayer is that it should not be so.

Why has it been said that divorce is bad... Everything about a doctrine has been to put us on the right path... Marrying this and that really endanger someone's life both physically and psychologically and most importantly spiritually... It drains the soul out of the spirit. Think of a guy that has married like five different ladies and lets say four of them have marine spirit or so... in going to meeting, believe me the guy will have bad dreams because he has been joined to all of them and everywhere they go, he goes to in the spirit. When trying to prove something, we should not just say the bad side, I think it is better to say what led to it being bad as I have said.

Brothers and Sisters, I am single, not married, 29 yrs, a guy, not engaged, working, studying... Divorce is BAD on the long run... Avoid it from NOW.

Stick i into your brain that you dont want it and plan towards avoiding it in your marriage. The lady and the guy are two different people, they should not look for good or bad traits in each other. Believe me it all comes down to LOVE. If you love someone and she loves you back, please go ahead... not love that is based on material or physical entities. Forget about bone of my bone flesh of my flesh... Why hasnt ur pastor told u that your bone of your bone is in Russia?

Marriage open eyes and do not go into it unprepared or undecided. When you get married, stick it into your head that the two of you are now new born babies... About to start learning about each other... in terms of attitude and traits and be DETERMINED to like, adapt and stick to it so as to make it work. If you are determined, you can love the person sitting next to you and have a happy home. If God has blessed a home, who is there to say NO?

We all pray that God should direct our path so we do not marry a lady that will bring down your life in all areas... cos to be sincere, some people are CURSED... Some are IDOLS-in-PERSON... Some are brainwashed... So pray heavily that the person you meet should also share same faith with you so both of you can walk spiritually with God cos if one person dey drag spiritually, the other too MUST drag cos two shall become one. If one is not even real christian but a church goer and maybe an ogbanje sef and ready to follow God, if you can verify that and ready to help the person... why not

Abegi I wan read newspaper o jare..

It is well

nice

toba:

marimaar:
Is self-service a sin against God? Does it lead one to hellfire? Please what do you think about it 'cos it has been bothering me for so long now.

lets define it. before u bring out ur thing to start self servicing, there would be some immoral thoughts in ur heart. once u start, u'll be imagining doing the act. where does that leave u? out if the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

In response to self-service, I have a "small" note on AutoSexuality... Kindly read that and come into a conclusion yourself...
https://www.nairaland.com/1042692/response-chris-oyakhilome

dayokanu: I heard about Spiritual Konji, I would like to know if some Konji are spiritual

that is lust. when a pastor gets an erection for another woman thats not his wife.

devil at work

marimaar: Is masturbation a sin against God? Does it lead one to hellfire? Please what do you think about it 'cos it has been bothering me for so long now.

Really masturbation is a sin. This sin is first built in ur heart then ur body reacts to it.
Medically, they will say its the effect of body hormones which I agree with. But remember, this body is given to you to control and not u allowing the body to control u. The enemy invaded my life with this same issue until I stood to it. I got so mad at it that I took a whole 3 days to address it. The enemy looks for loop holes to accuse the brethren, if u give in to one, he will bring more sinful ideas. I bombarded my self with tapes, books, prayers and I renewed my thinking. Whenever that urge came, I kept declaring " I am the righteousness of God, no trace of sin can be found in me" "I bear on my body the mark of Christ, therefore let nothing trouble me" By the time I did this for a week and avoided things that brought these thoughts (eg: the eye gate and the ear gate.) I was free from these torments and today, the devil dares not to bring these issues to me cos I don't Let go of the WORD!

toba: nice

Not nice .lol. You've got to support your stand with relevant scriptures. There is no room for accomodating emotions and it's called rightly dividing the word of truth.
Seriously, not one supporting scripture I'd rather you said abysmal.

UmericanGirl:

Why not? You could train her how you want.

where will i start the training?

Gracious10:

Really masturbation is a sin. This sin is first built in ur heart then ur body reacts to it.
Medically, they will say its the effect of body hormones which I agree with. But remember, this body is given to you to control and not u allowing the body to control u. The enemy invaded my life with this same issue until I stood to it. I got so mad at it that I took a whole 3 days to address it. The enemy looks for loop holes to accuse the brethren, if u give in to one, he will bring more sinful ideas. I bombarded my self with tapes, books, prayers and I renewed my thinking. Whenever that urge came, I kept declaring " I am the righteousness of God, no trace of sin can be found in me" "I bear on my body the mark of Christ, therefore let nothing trouble me" By the time I did this for a week and avoided things that brought these thoughts (eg: the eye gate and the ear gate.) I was free from these torments and today, the devil dares not to bring these issues to me cos I don't Let go of the WORD!

Now brethren this is a testimony. The devil sought to use NL as a tool for turning people away from God. I'm sure he must be shitting in his pants now.
With this coming from a lady, I doff my hat.

sadeiyare: Job.32: 7 I said, Days should speak, and multitude of years should teach wisdom. 8 But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding. 9 Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgment. 10 Therefore I said, Hearken to me; I also will shew mine opinion.

Marriage to the right person is praying and allowing only GOD answer it : when I was praying to GOD for a wife , He told me to have friends, and through all the friends I had then, I learnt many things, but with my greed, lust and even forward tendencies the wife GOD gave me was in answer to my sincere prayer. *GOD GIVE ME A WIFE ThAT WILL MAKE ME NOT LOOSE MY PEACE*

That I met her on fb, or that I was in one state and she another, even the fact that I proposed to her a month after we met and got married 7months after are stories for another day.

My emphasis is on sincere prayer; GOD ANSWERS SPECIFICALLY,OUR PRAYERS

Guitarlife: Not nice .lol. You've got to support your stand with relevant scriptures. There is no room for accomodating emotions and it's called rightly dividing the word of truth.
Seriously, not one supporting scripture I'd rather you said abysmal.

never will i stay with someone that would destroy my life. are christians allowed to marry more than one wife? are xtians allowed to stay with someone that would destroy their lives? lets think this through.

In my own estimation, Divorce doesn't mean a physical separation only. What about married couples who are not in talking terms for 1, 2 or 3 months? Or the man that no longer loves the wife, but endures her even though they still laugh and eat together? This issue is really affecting the church today and its our duty to fight it in all ramifications!!!

mediainspired: I wish i culd marry my fiancee dis Decemba, but we havnt completed d minimum courtship period set by d marriage committee in d church. And she isnt even allowed to frequent my house; so sometimes i kinda feel lonely (i told her so today). I pray my neighbor's sis moves away (her broda is sumtyms out of town on official assignment). I sense she may get desperate &women can be dangerous wen dey're ar. Recently, she askd me 4som moni. Even tho i had it, i didnt giv it so as 2kill attachmnts. Am able 2handle oda women, but dis is a neighbor... Close by

Bro pls be careful, the holy bible says FLEE from any form of temptation. Dont crawl, dont't even run FLEE... God help you.

d king123:
where will i start the training?

in your house after marriage.