Guitarlife: Typical of the modern christian to frown at any attempt to be realistic they'd rather be idealistic. How old are you if I may ask. You would have preffered it if I had chosen to conceal my trials and continued in them than to bring them to the fore and recieve encouragement to overcome them right ?
I hope you know this attitude is what has caused the 'church' to be where it is today. People like you would rather pretend and when brethren come to you for edification you'd rather condemn them.
You forget that we all have our time of temptation and the least you can do for your brother is not to judge him but encourage him.
Does it surprise you that you are the only one sharing your view ?
I do hope you'l learn a major lesson today .
You need to google the names of powerful men of God who have backslided it's cos nobody is impecable we are all striving.
I'm never as nauseated as at when I see a 'christian' judging others. You need to read your bible and ask for forgiveness too while at it.

You took the words out of my keypads. Hypocrisy is one of the reasons why people lose it in their relationships and marriages. As Christians, rather than focusing on what a fellow believer has done wrong, we are supposed to deal with the root cause and stop judging. I for one, find it very hard to open up to Chuch folk because everyone expects you to be perfect which in reality takes only the grace of God. I hope the church will get it right someday. However, i'm still not clear on whether the mouth@ction thing for married couples is right

Gracious10:

Really masturbation is a sin. This sin is first built in ur heart then ur body reacts to it.
Medically, they will say its the effect of body hormones which I agree with. But remember, this body is given to you to control and not u allowing the body to control u. The enemy invaded my life with this same issue until I stood to it. I got so mad at it that I took a whole 3 days to address it. The enemy looks for loop holes to accuse the brethren, if u give in to one, he will bring more sinful ideas. I bombarded my self with tapes, books, prayers and I renewed my thinking. Whenever that urge came, I kept declaring " I am the righteousness of God, no trace of sin can be found in me" "I bear on my body the mark of Christ, therefore let nothing trouble me" By the time I did this for a week and avoided things that brought these thoughts (eg: the eye gate and the ear gate.) I was free from these torments and today, the devil dares not to bring these issues to me cos I don't Let go of the WORD!

perfect! love this!

musKeeto:
In your myopic world view, if one isn't a xtian or muslim, then he's an atheist? Lord, have mercy on your people, they perish for lack of knowledge...

don't worry, I will search it out... Where u said u dnt believe in the existence of God...

basisop: PLanning to get married to this divine package from heaven but immediately after the introduction, wahala started coming left, right, centre from both parents. Each seeing their child as treasure thereby attaching pride and condition to every single step.

We don't have any issue but the parental issue is really giving us sleepness nights.

hey.... both of you should talk to God about it. He is not an author of confusion! If it is his will, it will workout. But pls don't head the altar without parental blessing! My sis faced same challenge from my father due to tribe. One thing i know they did was pray! Boy! The guy had to write my dads name on a piece of paper, dropped it inside an anointing oil and kept declaring by faith..... lol (now that's a man that takes it by force (faith)). As funny as it may sound, it worked! My father that said NO to the letter, happily accepted! Hahahahaaha! So my dear,pray in faith and in understanding!!!

Guitarlife: Thanks man. I think I got my senses back now. And by the way I have been searching for a woman of virtue and yet to find. Not that my expectations are overly high though. You will be shocked to discover that many young ladies are actually shocked when I tell them I am a virgin. Most donlt even believe. I have almost been r@ped by a 'sister', non ear ring wearing, non trouser wearing, no accesory I mean your model christian sister though I myself I'm a little bit culpable.
The christian congregation is really rotten. Believe me it's like trying to find a needle in a haysack when you are looking for a woman to marry in the church.

i just mite b dat nidle in d haysack. I'm nt roten n God fearing. Pls come n marry me.

Guitarlife: Typical of the modern christian to frown at any attempt to be realistic they'd rather be idealistic. How old are you if I may ask. You would have preffered it if I had chosen to conceal my trials and continued in them than to bring them to the fore and recieve encouragement to overcome them right ?
I hope you know this attitude is what has caused the 'church' to be where it is today. People like you would rather pretend and when brethren come to you for edification you'd rather condemn them.
You forget that we all have our time of temptation and the least you can do for your brother is not to judge him but encourage him.
Does it surprise you that you are the only one sharing your view ?
I do hope you'l learn a major lesson today .
You need to google the names of powerful men of God who have backslided it's cos nobody is impecable we are all striving.
I'm never as nauseated as at when I see a 'christian' judging others. You need to read your bible and ask for forgiveness too while at it.

I just caught u .
U were not luking for advise, u only wanted to create a thread where pple ll comment.
That was y I doubted u.
And u fell for it by your response .
And now, u re vexed because my comment is different from everyone's .

akanmumi:


I just caught u .
U were not luking for advise, u only wanted to create a thread where pple ll comment.
That was y I doubted u.
And u fell for it by your response .
And now, u re vexed because my comment is different from everyone's .

He didn't create the thread. Toba did. The issue here is that we should emulate what the Scriptures say. I'm not sure Christ would have judged him because of his past. Remember Mary Magdalene's story? What makes a man a saint is when he falls and gets back up again. We should never stop encouraging our fellow believers because trust me, its really difficult to be a true Christian in this perverse generation.Its when we are faced with extremely tempting situations that we can say whether or not we are standing.The only consolation we have is that God will never let us face a situation that we cannot handle. That's why he gave us the willpower. Everything we have or ever hope to achieve is by the mercies of God.

RedReact:
What you are insinuating about church ladies is true. Many of Christian ladies allow their lives, especially marital life, to be run by world's standard and thereby getting confused themselves.
A church lady played some kind of pranks on me, in fact, she played the game well and I made up my mind never to be interested in any of these so called church sisters. The truth therein is that we have 90% of church sisters/brothers but 10% of christian sisters/brothers.
What can we do then? Ask God for His leading because there are many deceivers in our churches these days.

pls can you guys explain or define 'church sister' cos i don't get it! Just like Joyce Meyer would say, "cos a 'car' is parked in a garage, doesn't make it a car". ( pardon me if i didn't quote her correctly).... So pls you and David should clarify this pls! By their fruit, you know them. Spirituality is not in going to church but in doing the Word! Simple!

Carius: Its very difficult for couples to admit to themselves or to any other person that they are not s3xually compatible.s3x is not synonymous wit sin.a lot of pple enta marriages wit pre-conceivd notions about intimacy such dat it would be easier to teach a pig how to sing than for them to change.i hate unpleasant surprises.it was here that i read d story of a lady who discovered dat d husband has a very tiny joystick that could not satisfy her.which mouth would she use to tell her pastor or her people that she's not fulfilled s3xually in her marriage?pls,don't let your marriage be lyk dis.d shame alone would kill u.

my darling..... are you a believer? a bible believing believer o?!...... answer that first and we can take it up from there! thanks dear!

Bibol:
He didn't create the thread. Toba did. The issue here is that we should emulate what the Scriptures say. I'm not sure Christ would have judged him because of his past. Remember Mary Magdalene's story? What makes a man a saint is when he falls and gets back up again. We should never stop encouraging our fellow believers because trust me, its really difficult to be a true Christian in this perverse generation.Its when we are faced with extremely tempting situations that we can say whether or not we are standing.The only consolation we have is that God will never let us face a situation that we cannot handle. That's why he gave us the willpower. Everything we have or ever hope to achieve is by the mercies of God.

He could have said thank you or simply ignore her comment or clear the air without the "angry" response. Lets enjoy the thread.

gloriana: i just mite b dat nidle in d haysack. I'm nt roten n God fearing. Pls come n marry me.

This is a joke right ?

While we are at it, my challenge is that I'm confused about what I want, that is, should she be fair in complexion or dark or ebony? And also should I go for slim petite women or curvy/chubby women? I've seen the best of all complexion and sizes and i'm now confused. Used to love petite and lithe women, now, some +sized women are really turning my head. Would love to read peeps perspective, opinions, insights and advice on this. Enjoy!

akanmumi:


I just caught u .
U were not luking for advise, u only wanted to create a thread where pple ll comment.
That was y I doubted u.
And u fell for it by your response .
And now, u re vexed because my comment is different from everyone's .

I think the NSA, CIA and FBI needs you. head to the american consulate now.

Abbott: While we are at it, my challenge is that I'm confused about what I want, that is, should she be fair in complexion or dark or ebony? And also should I go for slim petite women or curvy/chubby women? I've seen the best of all complexion and sizes and i'm now confused. Used to love petite and lithe women, now, some +sized women are really turning my head. Would love to read peeps perspective, opinions, insights and advice on this. Enjoy!

Have you considered focusing on the kind of husband you will like to become? Maybe you should quit thinking of what she should look like, because you may never have all those qualities in one single lady. You may marry a very petite woman today and later on, become +sized. Rather, i think you should be more concerned about who she is on the inside. It is the inner qualities that make a person. All in all, if you are still single, its best to set your affection on spiritual things, that way, you'll attract the right set of people and keep an open heart. You never know what God has in stock for you. All the best!

passionate88: don't worry, I will search it out... Where u said u dnt believe in the existence of God...

lol... abeg search my profile well o... i dey wait...

justsmile:
pls can you guys explain or define 'church sister' cos i don't get it! Just like Joyce Meyer would say, "cos a 'car' is parked in a garage, doesn't make it a car". ( pardon me if i didn't quote her correctly).... So pls you and David should clarify this pls! By their fruit, you know them. Spirituality is not in going to church but in doing the Word! Simple!

The Lord Jesus said not everybody that is calling Him Lord will enter the kingdom of God.
You hav already said it all in this statement "Spirituality is not in going to church but in DOING (LIVING) the Word." Many people we see in church are 'die-hard' church goers but not believers that live the Word.

One of the best threads ever on NL! It's about time we stand and be a voice in our generation for the right thing regardless of what the society tries to portray as being "okay". No matter how much we as humans try to twist the word of God to suite us - the word would never change.
I sincerely get tired sometimes talking about this- especially when the person is so bent and has so many reasons to back up what is clearly a sin. I result to keeping quiet- as long as it does not change my actions or what I believe in. This thread stresses the importance of speaking up and not being quiet! - you just never know the impact you would be making.
The issue of marriage and relationship seems very complicated especially when we try to do things on our own and exclude God. It's like doing the work of the ministry without the help of the Holy Spirit - you would work twice as hard.

Abbott: While we are at it, my challenge is that I'm confused about what I want, that is, should she be fair in complexion or dark or ebony? And also should I go for slim petite women or curvy/chubby women? I've seen the best of all complexion and sizes and i'm now confused. Used to love petite and lithe women, now, some +sized women are really turning my head. Would love to read peeps perspective, opinions, insights and advice on this. Enjoy!

More reason u should wait till u know what u want. Confusion issues must be dealt with before u involve another serious focused person into a relationship.

Gracious10:

More reason u should wait till u know what u want. Confusion issues must be dealt with before u involve another serious focused person into a relationship.

This issue Abbot raised is a 2-way thing to me.
As far as human beings are concerned, we will have physical likes for our spouses because man is a spirit being with a soul and lives in a body. We must not be bent on looking for spirit and neglect the soul and body and vice-versa.
If a man prays and God shows him a lady He wants to give him, such a man should go ahead and neglect all other qualities (both spiritual and physical) he wants her to possess. If, on the other hand, the Lord does not show him anything, he might lay the request (e.g lord, I like a lady that is 6 feet 2 inches tall, etc) before the Father as he is presenting his desires to Him.
Above all, when God presents His will, we will not like it at all but we should just neglect our wish and follow Him "blindly and stupidly" by faith.

Zeebah23: U wanna know my view on marriage? It's different strokes for different folks. One thing i'm not gonna take is marital abuse/domestic violence. It's worse than unfaithfulness!

I agree with u. but lets pray to have a bone of our bone. that is. someone that's almost ok in all ramifications. An almost perfect partner would never be unfaithful, neither will he turn u to a punching bag

vanstanzy:

[b]Firstly, i want to laud this great approach of urs, in creating this thread. Though, thanks be to God Almighty i am no longer a Christian single, but very happily married to the love of my life. I thus feel compelled to share some do's and dont's i feel will help a great deal in relationships and marriage.

Im happy for u and sincerely wish u all the best.

Christians these days, are very weak in prayers and belief in God, i inclusive, and tend to fall easily for the worlds antics. Note that everybody, whether they like to admit it or not, only avoids the occasions of sin by Gods grace and nothing more.

Seriously, who do we blame for this? we live in a wicked world filled with distractions from every side. Its not easy. I myself do fall at times. I'm not a perfect being.

First things to look out for in a life partner is one that has the fear of God. Singles do not be deceived by some so-called sister or brother in Christ, i can authoritatively tell u they abound everywhere. People from time immemorial have always been very deceptive and only God Himself can identify ones true character.
That's why secondly, one needs to be very prayerful to identify all these pretenders. They are the worst thing that can ever happen to anybody. Marriages' by deception exist, so be wary.

Just as i posited earlier. I used to believe in myself and trust my judgement so much till i failed twice this year that was when i realised that i need to put God first in all i do. We need God to help us identify what's meant for us and what will last with us. I'm going to commit my own choice unto Gods hands. There are so many pretenders out there. They tend to show a good character before and a different character after. Only God and strong prayers can save us. Marriage is different from boy friend girl friend relationship.

Thirdly, do not ever think u as a married Christian brother or sister cannot fall into the sin of Adultery. People that once thought they would never fall into it, have fallen. I tell u, adultery ruins a lot we don't see. Adultery is a very large draining force in any married persons life. Avoiding every occasions of sin can really help us avoid adultery, but is it that possible? Yeah, through Christ who strengthens us, Phil. 4:13.Remember, man is flesh, spirit and soul. The flesh being so weak can put one in great big trouble once one let his/ her defenses down. That's exactly what the devil is looking out for, a weak defense. I tell u, adultery ruins a lot we don't see.

Agreed 100% it also destroys spiritual life.

Also remember that our adversary the devil, roams about like a roaring lion seeking for whom to devour, so we are called to be sober and vigilant 1 Peter 5:8. Each persons clear mind will think for them and, cos one is thinking straight, one can avoid any thing he/ she wishes to avoid. This cannot be said for a deluded mind. A deluded mind only weakens ones defenses and thus all the fantasies (both crazy and rational, but mostly the crazy ones) one has ever had stored up in the mind will now be let loose, cos ones weak mind can no longer hold them back.
Weakening of the mind is what massive alcohol intake can cause, and it has led many into a sin they always regret, sometimes the rest of their lives. Either that, or it has created a big crack in ones family life. That's one major reason behind the "DRINK RESPONSIBLY" campaign of our alcohol industry. With above limit alcohol in ones system, one will never know what hit 'em.
A great family is the bedrock of every worthy society, which all starts by marrying the right partner. True closeness to God alone can guide us into making this crucial decision of a life partner. Am done![/b]

Good talk my brother. May God help us all

Gracious10:


Please, quick question for you.. would u have preferred one who has a child or one who has had numerous abortions and has hidden it from you, which may have subsequently damaged her womb? All am saying is that some men are so blind.

Now that im old enogh to decide, i wouldnt prefer anyone. Before i go into any relationship, i do tell anyone that its better from day one that we tell the truth to ourselves and if its gonna work, it will work and if its not gonna work its not gonna work. I have full details of the pple that i've been with and i do tell potential ones all that happened in the past. Some do tell me there's and once i find them too strong for me to deal with i quit.

You will be so surprised to see that most of them get into worse situations trying identify with what's acceptable
I will prefer a man who didn't assist in terminating pregnancies than the one who kept paying to terminate his ex-es pregnancies. Life is always better than death. A hand not stained with blood is always better!

Yes ma. but u too must steer clear off stains so both parties can be free from guilt. what about that?

gloriana: i just mite b dat nidle in d haysack. I'm nt roten n God fearing. Pls come n marry me.

lol. are u serious? no toasting, no courtship, marriage straight buhahahahahaha

justsmile:
pls can you guys explain or define 'church sister' cos i don't get it! Just like Joyce Meyer would say, "cos a 'car' is parked in a garage, doesn't make it a car". ( pardon me if i didn't quote her correctly).... So pls you and David should clarify this pls! By their fruit, you know them. Spirituality is not in going to church but in doing the Word! Simple!

church sisters are the ladies that pretend to be angels in church. always the first to attend meetings, welcome u very well into the congregation and say bless u bless u but their outside world characters are worse than those of infidels. They are hypocrites

Abbott: While we are at it, my challenge is that I'm confused about what I want, that is, should she be fair in complexion or dark or ebony? And also should I go for slim petite women or curvy/chubby women? I've seen the best of all complexion and sizes and i'm now confused. Used to love petite and lithe women, now, some +sized women are really turning my head. Would love to read peeps perspective, opinions, insights and advice on this. Enjoy!

Interesting. My brother, we all have preferences. I for one wouldnt go for oyinbo. I mean light coloured. I wouldn't go for the too tall cos im about 2 metres tall. I would also like the fleshy but not the orobo. I will also like my woman to be presentable as in beauty. Apart from these physical attributes, the rest lies in the inner attributes like intelligence, understanding, knowing how to cook, must be God fearing, must be educated at HND or BSC holder etc etc etc

Gracious10:

More reason u should wait till u know what u want. Confusion issues must be dealt with before u involve another serious focused person into a relationship.

Thats what i said in the op. what exactly do u want in a would be partner?

A lot of pple are still confused about choices. Articulate what u want and when u have seen someone with at least 70% score or possession, go for it

[img]https://www.nairaland.com/avatars/726946[/img] A perfect marriage picture

Enjoyn dis thread, thou some pple are being immature abt d gist. But I have dis scenario and I want candid advice.

I ve bin in r/ship which I quit cos I find myself engaged in romancing, after dis i do feel so guilty and go for confessions cos am a catholic. I am a gal who would want to marry a friend, some one I have known for long and we both understand each other. I ve set my standard of no premarital sex based on personal conviction and xperience and I ve prayed to God to help me kip dis promise by giving a guy who will help me kip dis. But funny enof, my 2 last date wia christians and I find out dat its hard to kip off dat romancing part, so hia comes my question;


1). Is it possible to have a date with romancing nd I wudnt ask if its ungodly cos I think I follow my conscious.
2). Or is it beta to just stay out of r/ship until marriage.

Abbott: While we are at it, my challenge is that I'm confused about what I want, that is, should she be fair in complexion or dark or ebony? And also should I go for slim petite women or curvy/chubby women? I've seen the best of all complexion and sizes and i'm now confused. Used to love petite and lithe women, now, some +sized women are really turning my head. Would love to read peeps perspective, opinions, insights and advice on this. Enjoy!

You can only marry one person ; You decide lol

midich: Enjoyn dis thread, thou some pple are being immature abt d gist. But I have dis scenario and I want candid advice.

I ve bin in r/ship which I quit cos I find myself engaged in romancing, after dis i do feel so guilty and go for confessions cos am a catholic. I am a gal who would want to marry a friend, some one I have known for long and we both understand each other. I ve set my standard of no premarital sex based on personal conviction and xperience and I ve prayed to God to help me kip dis promise by giving a guy who will help me kip dis. But funny enof, my 2 last date wia christians and I find out dat its hard to kip off dat romancing part, so hia comes my question;


1). Is it possible to have a date with romancing nd I wudnt ask if its ungodly cos I think I follow my conscious.
2). Or is it beta to just stay out of r/ship until marriage.

i love ur courage and boldness. l wouldnt want to talk to u like a spiri koko, but l'll be frank. we re human with emotions and feelings. once u start romancing, it would be extremely difficult to stop. but i do tell my female friends somethings that if u allow every guy to touch u in any kind if relationships, do u think its a bad record against u and plus for the guys? ladies must realise that we guys have nothing to lose. its the ladies thats got a lot to. lmagine going with ur husband and having to see seyi ur ex who had sexxx with u. another u see felix who did the same. a yr later u see james who did same thing, will u feel happy? this is to tell u that its not in every 'relationships' that u must give urself to the guys.

As guys we have discussion amongst ourselves and i feel sad that my friends tell me that they are after a record in terms of women they've slept with.

A friend got married last yr and he told me he had disvirgined more than 20 girls and he married non of them. its a record for him and a record against the ladies.


u pple must wise up and stop giving in on every request. many of us(guys) are bad and only after in between and nothing more.

If i may ask, what are chrìstian sisters doing in guys houses alone or in secret places? These are what leads to premarital sex. If you must date, avoid meeting in places that can 'tempt'

Bélla3: If i may ask, what are chrìstian sisters doing in guys houses alone or in secret places? These are what leads to premarital sex. If you must date, avoid meeting in places that can 'tempt'

it doesnt matter if a guy and a girl are alone. of course a lady can spend time alone with her fiance but u both must be disciplined. devil has made fornication so sweet these days that its becoming irresistable.

l have a lot of stories to share with u guys from what happened in the church between church workers