poeticjustic: well, I didn't quite get a hold on the first piece, either 'cos of its depth or lack of it. idk. the second Is cool tho

ever heard of a killer with a conscience?
Try picture an epic war movie

@uj_sizzle, thanks for the insight. Quite clear now.

vescucci: I must warn you, dear reader, that my poems veer towards the dark. Even when I write about love, there's a piercing melancholy about it. This is because I believe sadness is the deepest and one of the purest emotions. Sadness can be beautiful. Apologies in advance. And please, feel free to critique. This is the reason for posting them. And of course the perverse need for validation that humans are afflicted with

Sadness can be beautiful, deep and pure.....Word my dear man....Word

really really nice.(now going straight to literature forum to search for more.)

@ op, ur lines r gud n succint. I like d 2nd poem especially. Keep it up,dude.

I have always found poets interesting.They possess this sort of deep,latent and inconspicuous knowledge that is made manifest in their works.They see things beyond the scope of normal beings and mould them into words.They are critical thinkers that use their mastery art of writing to capture their readers.POETS are amazing!
I wish I could be one.

Good work,op!

^^U cab be one; anyone can. It starts with just one verse. U'll never know what u can do until u try.

U have good diction, by the way.

sino: Good, your first poem, the use of word(s) at the end of a verse to begin another verse interests me, is there any literature's vocabulary for it?

Expecting more....

and @op

The literary device of starting successive lines of poems with word(s) that end the preceding lines is called 'ANADIPLOSIS', I use it quite often. See the last stanza of my December 31st 2011 poem- '2011' below

Now I'm getting excited
As the minutes tickle into seconds
Waiting for the end
The end to the year's tempest
Half singing, half dancing
Dancing in Anxiety
Anxiety for the birth
The birth of a new year
New year and it's resolutions
The resolutions and their challenges
Challenges to all my hopes
Hopes to my Aspirations
Aspirations for all round fulfilment
Fulfilment of my dreams
Dreams lingering from yester-years
Years of my plight
Now coming to light

lonipeter:
and @op

The literary device of starting successive lines of poems with word(s) that end the preceding lines is called 'ANADIPLOSIS', I use it quite often. See the last stanza of my December 31st 2011 poem- '2011' below

Now I'm getting excited
As the minutes tickle into seconds
Waiting for the end
The end to the year's tempest
Half singing, half dancing
Dancing in Anxiety
Anxiety for the birth
The birth of a new year
New year and it's resolutions
The resolutions and their challenges
Challenges to all my hopes
Hopes to my Aspirations
Aspirations for all round fulfilment
Fulfilment of my dreams
Dreams lingering from yester-years
Years of my plight
Now coming to light

Guy I swear you sabi lecture pass those sadists wey dey our tertiary institution. Awesome brevity.

I fear to loosing my poems to the internet world.
@op hw do you claim its yours in future when everyone had it?..I've been keeping my best away from the internet sha.

lonipeter:
and @op

The literary device of starting successive lines of poems with word(s) that end the preceding lines is called 'ANADIPLOSIS', I use it quite often. See the last stanza of my December 31st 2011 poem- '2011' below

Now I'm getting excited
As the minutes tickle into seconds
Waiting for the end
The end to the year's tempest
Half singing, half dancing
Dancing in Anxiety
Anxiety for the birth
The birth of a new year
New year and it's resolutions
The resolutions and their challenges
Challenges to all my hopes
Hopes to my Aspirations
Aspirations for all round fulfilment
Fulfilment of my dreams
Dreams lingering from yester-years
Years of my plight
Now coming to light

Whaaaaaat!

Aesthetic I mean the war hound but the second one about life is just to simple...avoid simplicity in your poetry...nevertheless..I say keep writing

Poetry is my lucrative hubby

Nice Vesc! good to see you 'back' and about...

Funny...I scarcely have anything but a happy-campy-all-is-fine-and-dandy image of you - so to see this darkside 'veering' is a bit of a treat . Very nice flow, simple & to the point. Likes!!!

kay9: ^^U cab be one; anyone can. It starts with just one verse. U'll never know what u can do until u try.

U have good diction, by the way.

Awww, thank you! .

Sisi_Kill: Awwww! Vesc. . . this is lovely!

Dark and Lovely....just the way I like 'em.

Why, thank you!

Flytefalls: I love this. Melancholy often fills the gaps.

Thanks

e-talker:


I love those lines.

But the poems aren't dark as warned.
I was expecting something scary (though, i noticed the sadness on few lines in the "LIFE" piece)

I enjoyed reading your poems.

Thanks for sharing. Keep the muse up!

Haha, I'm not that dark but then this is not my darkest work. Thanks all the same

Esin waju: Brilliant. Especially the one about life. I relate with you on that one cos presently I'm faced with a situation and your poem captures it perfectly and you were more rhyme concious on this one, that I find very appealing as a rap afficionado lol.

Thanks dude. Glad you enjoyed them

Orikinla: Good poetry.
Very original.

Thank you Sir. Coming from you, that is high praise.

talk2s: This poem helps reminisce the good old days: when the beauty of art was given its pride of place;
When art was not celebrated for fun but for the sakes of art;
When the place of art was extolled and amplified...

Indeed, that is a masterpiece of poetry.

I feel you. Thanks a lot

Nickydrake: Vescucci, reading your work is always a treat. Believe it or not, i spent a good amount of time poring over your satires over at Naijastories (that was the only time i ever used the site). The piece on cursíng was especially entralling.

These poems are good, no doubt about that, but because i'm much less captivated by poetry than by prose, i find myself drawn more to your opening post. Your opening post is fuckíng excellent.

I beg your pardon, the expletive was necessary for emphasis.

I think you should ditch poetry and move into a monastery where you'll devote the rest of your life to producing bewitching satirical pieces for people like me to revel in. This is crappy advice alright, but i hope you consider it all the same.

Great work, my friend.

Thanks a whole lot. You of all made my day

ariblaze: interesting ... i like
i am also sure you can do darker
com'n don the cape of the reaper which you are

Lol. I don't even know what to say. I have darker stories. There's stuff I'm working on sha. How have you been? Long time bruv

kay9: ^^ Blazeman... Where u been, mate?

@Vesc, u got any more of these? First one reminds me of Tom Cruise's Nathan Algren.

Kay baba! Yeah, I have some more. I'll post some more shortly but the rest of my stuff is on my blog. I'll post that too

amiskurie: I fear to loosing my poems to the internet world.
@op hw do you claim its yours in future when everyone had it?..I've been keeping my best away from the internet sha.

If you plan on making money, I guess it's best not to post them on the internet. But this is just a hobby for me. Good luck

JeSoul: Nice Vesc! good to see you 'back' and about...

Funny...I scarcely have anything but a happy-campy-all-is-fine-and-dandy image of you - so to see this darkside 'veering' is a bit of a treat . Very nice flow, simple & to the point. Likes!!!

Looool. I have actually posted these poems since about half a year ago. i dunno who resurrected them. It's nice to get the comments though. How have you been? You have mail btw

Apologies to anyone I have missed. I appreciate the comments a lot

I started this thread with a conflicted mind trying to stifle my 'vanity'. Meh. The battle is lost now. I'll post some more poems but for my other works (mostly very short stories) please visit vescucci.. Mucho gracias

Ballad of the brokenhearted Geisha

This snow is new.

My lover is gone

This is the fourth month without a letter

The small stream by our home will freeze soon

The fish will now move upstream

I’ve never caught a fish before

But I sit with my pole to forget

The trees will shed their leaves

The mountains will soon have caps

I’ll start painting again

It’s four months now and I haven’t seen the postman

My lover quests and I thirst

Maybe the postman is dead; maybe I am dead.

Tinkybabe: I have always found poets interesting.They possess this sort of deep,latent and inconspicuous knowledge that is made manifest in their works.They see things beyond the scope of normal beings and mould them into words.They are critical thinkers that use their mastery art of writing to capture their readers.POETS are amazing!
I wish I could be one.

Good work,op!

Aren't you one already!!! With dis write-up?

POEM: WHY GIVE UP? http:///7mVVAhiJEX to read my latest poem

Ayoobscom: Aesthetic I mean the war hound but the second one about life is just to simple...avoid simplicity in your poetry...nevertheless..I say keep writing

Poetry is my lucrative hubby

Iwould also say avoid obscurity in your poems because it does nobody any good. A poem with a simple diction is not inferior to one with knotted words as long as it is embellished with appropriate poetic devices. cheers

vescucci: Ballad of the brokenhearted Geisha

This snow is new.

My lover is gone

This is the fourth month without a letter

The small stream by our home will freeze soon

The fish will now move upstream

I’ve never caught a fish before

But I sit with my pole to forget

The trees will shed their leaves

The mountains will soon have caps

I’ll start painting again

It’s four months now and I haven’t seen the postman

My lover quests and I thirst

Maybe the postman is dead; maybe I am dead.

This last line is drenched with meaning. Love it!

Hmm.
The heart pines in your last piece. Moreso than the previous.

It's...






...savory

TAYE: ON BANKS OF BLOOD
On banks of blood
On banks of blood
A village built
on banks of blood

hark the cry of slaughter
at dawns innocent hour
when the blade satiates desire
on many a throat in her flower

the sounds of the knife
the sounds of the sword
the glistening edge
and the shouts of the war

the despairing heart
beats the drumrolls aroar
and the racing pulse creates a rhythm of war

the struggle is short
as kicks go agog
the writhing and strain
against the enemies hold

to the right to the left
with all present strength
but the verdict is done
and the sick edge already drawn

with a quick vengeance it draws
an offering of blood
faithfully pouring
a libation to the soil

the campaign is over,
the horrors are not
a bone here
a bloody entrail there
all signs of the war

the rivers are swollen
and the rivulets engulfed
not with sweet waters
but overflowing with blood

the banks are flooded
and the land gives a foul stink
for the waters are
ankle deep in the vile thing
the vultures gather
in their unholy gang
casting lustful glances
at the unpleasant land

they soar atop spotless wings
white as snow or regal silk
and their princely steps
mimic the gait of nobles
on slender stilts

perusing through the foul stream
they take a peck
at every morsel left
hopefull for another season
of bloody kills

upon these banks
a village is built
its dwellings surrounding
the evil stream
where the blood of many flows aloof
on banks of blood!

vicdugavI vencedoR
08-05-08 taye village abattoir Minna,Niger State, Nigeria.

TZUM-TZUM: (LOSS OF A HERITAGE)

I strummed your cheerful dandy strings
And chanted sweet songs of rural bliss
My dancing damsels willing pleased
Like zephyrs in warm summer breeze
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum

With you I found Agorok’s charming hills
And made beautiful music in Bajju’s frills
The halls of Rumaya and Jaba’s rocks
And harvested delight in Chawai’s fields
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
With each new note the passion rose
And fearful thoughts the passion froze
Your music sweet like the crimson rose
A pleasant gift from a lover close
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
It was you by the market square
Where ebony maidens pure and fair
Abandoned all fear and all their care
And danced their hearts for your fare
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
The ancients at the watering holes
Raised their gourds without a care
For they knew it would be always filled
For as long as you are there
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
Pluck those enchanted chords again
And make those scales bring back to me
The ecstasy of our mother tongue’s
Sweet, refreshing melodies
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum

Alas our wretched modern care
Denies our souls your blissful rural cheer
And like the fleeting, passings tear
Your memory makes its passage here
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
A pilgrim, I sought your temple where
Last I heard your sacred notes
Mountains high and valleys low
All is lost as you are lost from there
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
How betide a sad decline
As thy silent slip from time
Who was once its beloved cheery bard
And companion handed down
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
And how may I mark thy loss
Speak thy words or take thy cross
Too suddenly taken away
A sentiment so deep to us
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
And so I seek thy dying bed
Where your mortal wounds had bled
Untended, forgotten
By the sons you bred
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum
With your loss I shake my head
Filling my heart now is dread
For what the fathers handed down
Is thrown out for a piece of bread!
Tzum-Tzum
Tzum-Tzum

Vicdugavi Vencedor(vicdugavi@yahoo.com)
3-11-13

Note:
The Tzum-Tzum is a traditional musical instrument native to the indigenous peoples of Southern Kaduna*.It is made of reeds, plucked with the thumbs and is a type of harp. It is fast disappearing from our culture because our language and culture are fast disappearing. I have been trying to secure one for the past two years but have been unsuccessful .So I decided to write this piece for it, hoping that its memory as well as that of our culture will be passed to my generations “peradventure our culture doesn’t survive (lol)”.May the music of the Tzum-Tzum and by extension, our identity, live on!