Age in some cases has nothing to do with marriage. The key factors to noticed before getting married are religion aspect,family and altittude(behavious) .i think these play a vital role in sustainance of a marriage.some people believe in early marriage while some go for late marriage.whatever the case may be,maturity, respect, trust,and endurance should be the foundation of every marriage.God help us.

I think until we go back to the "ROLE PLAY" of couples, in a marriage, as it was in the days of our fathers, we will just celebrate "wedding" and not "marriage"!

Simply put, We've lost our values".

Lastpage!

Now i know the price went up in the market. . .

Husband refusing to love the wife
Wife refusing to submit to the Husband (Head), therefore causing two captains on the ship scenario,before Mr says A, Mrs has said B to Z.

Also, pride and intolerance. Even God hates proud people and He opposes the counsel of the proud talkless of mere human beings.

Above all, Grace is what is needed to enjoy not mere just cohabit with a partner.
Ask for Grace to still be singing Eji owuro/olo mi/At last/my African queen! etc when the kitchen is bare, bank account is bare etc

May God help us all.

Ntn like marriage these days,just sex partners,if tired everyone find his way.

only a few peeps here replied with the right answer. lust is to men as money is women(girls). for me,its the same crime. marry a beautiful woman only cos she satisfies your sexual desires is wrong.this however isnt as bad as marrying someone only because he has got money. Its what this wayward generation has been sold into. As stupid as this sounds,television(bad movies and music) does affect pple wrongly. To men,the ideal woman is one wit figures and very sexy(most sexy ladies are senseless,materialistic and selfish).Women however,think only of successful men not minding how the money came. Abeg! the story plenty and plenty of u wont understand, some who understand might not agree but divorce is a bad thing. it has bad effects on the kids affected.

Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

bejay766: Most Marriages fail because of immaturity, selfishness and greediness.Most couples fail to seek the face of God. Some even depend on their wealth, educational qualifications and beauty,(on the side of the Women).
.

i so much agree with u on the case of immaturity, selfishness and greediness. I'll also add over-pampering to the list and most just venture into it for the fun of it without realising the true meaning of for better for worse, though this days alot of the vows have been amended which gives the immatured coupled the right to back out of marriage eg for better for best, in health and in prosperity and they forgot to change till death do us part. Alot don't seek the face of God like u said and right counseling before venturing into marriage that is why there is a high rate of failed marriages because they were not educated on what marriage is all about.

Adabar: Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

i agree with u

ogbronx: only a few peeps here replied with the right answer. lust is to men as money is women(girls). for me,its the same crime. marry a beautiful woman only cos she satisfies your sexual desires is wrong.this however isnt as bad as marrying someone only because he has got money. Its what this wayward generation has been sold into. As stupid as this sounds,television(bad movies and music) does affect pple wrongly. To men,the ideal woman is one wit figures and very sexy(most sexy ladies are senseless,materialistic and selfish).Women however,think only of successful men not minding how the money came. Abeg! the story plenty and plenty of u wont understand, some who understand might not agree but divorce is a bad thing. it has bad effects on the kids affected.

very true

:Pkobojunkie, did u run?junkie indeed

Tolerance.
Some fail because people have rightfully become less tolerant of infidelity, sexual/emotional/physchological abuse, spouses commuting crimes, drug/alchohol abuse and similar

Others fail because they expect their spouse to be like the ones on TV. To never gain/lose weight, get wrinkles/grey hair, lose their job, have medical problems etc.

This post is for sale!
Buyers beware of 419ners.

mekaboy: THE MISTAKE MOST MARRIED PEOPLE MAKE IS TO HAVE SEX OFTEN . EVERYDAY WITH TIME THEY GET TIRED.

MAKE SEX SPECIAL, MAKE OUT A SPECIAL TIME FOR IT. MAKE IT SOMETHING YOU LOOK UP TO.

LIKE THE LAST WEEKEND IN THE.MONTH OR LAST WEEKEND IN 2 MONTHS.

THAT WAY IT WILL REMAIN SPECIAL, YOU WILL BOTH HAVE THE URGE.AND ATTRACTED.TO.EACH.OTHER.

THAT IS IF YOU CHOOSE TO.BE FAITHFUL TO.EACH.OTHER.

Marriage is for mature two minds

Eze Promoe: [size=15pt]
Most people go into marriage without preparation(the marraige you dont prepare for is doomed to fail from the onset)
I also think one reason marriages fail is because of the decline in morals and values of the concerned parties.

Marriage is a life commitment[most people desire a successful marriage but only few people are committed to a successful marriage(commitment involves both parties taking responsibility to ensure the marriage works)]
[/size]

When you PREPARE for marriage? What are you preparing for? How to cook? how to love? How to clean house? What are you preparing for? Most every culture in Nigeria is built around PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE. . . I mean girls spend most of their formative years being "PREPARED" for marriage. The Boys are "taught" to prepare to provide for their wives etc. How has all that we have established to date been able to stand the test of time? If you build a house and the house starts to crack when the real storms hit, do you still boast that you know how to build a house?

The issue is the very reason why I said on the one thread that rather than prepare our kids for marriage, mothers should instead prepare their children with skills to handle life. After all marriage is just a part, not a completely different structure, but a mere part of life. if you succeed in life, you can succeed in marriage. But you can succeed in a marriage but fail in life. If one needs to prepare for anything, it ought to be life.

Adabar: Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

The above is the classic lie we like to tell ourselves. Your forefathers had problems in marriage as well. Back then, you know what they did? When they got tired of their wives, they sent these women away to live the rest of their lives in shame and many a times as outcasts. And don't pretend this problem was unheard of. No, it was just as common place as it is today. There were abandoned wives and running away husbands even during the days of your forefathers. They didn't have the secret to a lasting marriage either. In fact, to many of them, their wives were properties/slaves and so had no choice but to do as they desired.

All the above. We all know the reasons. Next page: solutions...

frank4ryl:

May be you fail to understand that you are loosing some logical points there. During the primitive era, men tend to prove their manliness by indulging in polygamous system and it is workingg. At present, men have only one and it is failing, WHY? Because the imported culture is wrong somewhere not our culture. I wish you go and those who fanatically destroy our values including culture.

During the same primitive era, you missed the part where men killed off other men so they could drag away their women and daughters for marriage. Also, in place of divorce, killing off a spouse was the norm at one time. Are you sure you want to take your points from these primitive men?

Test of manliness HAS NOTHING TO do with success in marriage. Polygamous marriages were of course NOT a very successful concept given that majority of the marriages today are not polygamous, even in countries where polygamy is allowed.

It is cowardice to blame the failures on "imported" cultures when all cultures in the world experience and continue to experience it is higher numbers, and it seems it will get worse, especially in societies that try to resist as time goes on, until they adapt.

@frank polygamy existed world over both in the sense of multiple wives and multiple husbands. The purpose was childbearing . More wives meant more children and a greater likelihood one or more would survive to adulthood. Multiple husbands (not as common) meant though fewer offspring, greater resources thus ensuring one or more children would reach adulthood. Since child mortality is so low compared to the past, these breeding practices have been replaced by marriage for love and thus do not require such large family units

The only reason marriages are failing,is lack of communication between the 2 partners.

[color=#990000][/color]other reason y marriage fail is lack of understanding between the two spouses.
The other is when one always feels he/she is right.
Lack of real love.
Lack of SEX is a great point and.
About all pray together and stand for one course

@kabojunkie: Our fathers had their fair share of divorce but it pails into oblivion when compared to our scorecards today. Kindly pinpoint the classical lies in my write up and we will take it up from there. I respect ur view but do not share it. A lot of failed marriages that i have seen have their root cause hinged on the single factor I have mentioned

Ita human beings for. Marriages are not failing more because people are doing something worse these days but because the society has accepted it right for marriages to fail. Union of people to live as one will always bring disagreements but it takes society to let them know they can walk out of the marriages and that is what is happening today. Am sure the things that cause marriages to fail today would not have had the same effect in lets say the sixties.

the fact that women have rights....

Mariage fail because of lack of focus, purpose, disagreements, ego, lack of apology nd compromise, lack of commitment, lack of renewin d love, lack of resources to sustain d marriage, lack of fear of God, etc in the state of nature there ws no marriages nd there ws no marriage failure, lets return to d state of nature.

Some of you guys tend to forget that women are evolving to play the role of men these days.They are out there hustling,burstling and striving hard to meet up like men,to be independent.Having little or no time time for the conventional roles that women were suppose to play in marriages as we use to know it,that is being the house keeper,the house manager,the coordinator of homes,the chief of staff of the house and of course,the child bearer,while the man provides.It is no longer so.

Like every other thing,marraige has to move on and people have to learn to adapt to it.

Duke_Nija: In a society with increased perversion, Lust, declining values, Fast life, Reverse role play, Ungodliness and the neglect of the basic principles of Marriage from the beginning, what else do you expect??

Husbands who have refused to Love their Wives with all their hearts and mind(as Christ Loved the Church and gave himself up for it) and commit to them in body and soul as one.

Wives who think their good education and new found status(thanks to the new world order) can make them equal to their husbands, thus disrespecting them and bringing unnecessary I-Know-My-Rights to her Marriage.

If You wish to find it right in Marriage, meet and ask the manufacturer and inventor of Marriages.(Read Your Bible, its his manual)

Crap crap crap. Shallow shallow shallow. And how does someone of another religion makes sense of your statement? This kind of world view is leads to Boko Haram

ekoboy: Ita human beings for. Marriages are not failing more because people are doing something worse these days but because the society has accepted it right for marriages to fail. Union of people to live as one will always bring disagreements but it takes society to let them know they can walk out of the marriages and that is what is happening today. Am sure the things that cause marriages to fail today would not have had the same effect in lets say the sixties.

Spot on. There have been an abundance of crap marriages from time immemorial. The older generations just endured them.

Why the rise in marriage failure? Because the barriers to divorce are decreasing.

Mr Lee: Nigerians don't learn good things from the western country, and fail marriages has been a culture of the white so it has started to eat up our good african moral of unity in the home. Op lets go back to the oreintations our grand parants used in runing an unbroken home that why i don't like white wedding.

Your grandfathers had unbroken weddings because they could marry 100 wives, didn't pay school fees and renting a house was unknown. Marrying more than 1 wife is now obviously and understandbly crap because if its good for men then why not women? So women liberation is a reality all men including me must accept so we have to adjust to the changes and challenges it will bring. Have you ever wondered how sad women could have been in the seemingly 'happy' marriages of yore in which you so relish? They were not so happy my dear but now women have a voice and the burden of keeping the home now rests on everyb ody and not just the women as men comfortably thought

The world is on the fast pace,including,who are not playing their conservative roles they use to be known for,housewives,due to the circumstances abound.The term marraige probably a different name,something like equal,convenient and profitable partnership(ECPP) on both side.A case of being in it because it is convenient,irrespective of the sex.

chief batiatus:

Your grandfathers had unbroken weddings because they could marry 100 wives, didn't pay school fees and renting a house was unknown. Marrying more than 1 wife is now obviously and understandbly crap because if its good for men then why not women? So women liberation is a reality all men including me must accept so we have to adjust to the changes and challenges it will bring. Have you ever wondered how sad women could have been in the seemingly 'happy' marriages of yore in which you so relish? [b]They were not so happy [/b]my dear but now women have a voice and the burden of keeping the home now rests on everyb ody and not just the women as men comfortably thought

respect!

thank God he created men like you!