Hi Nairalanders! Need some candid advice. I‘ve been dating this guy for 2 years though we‘ve lived in different cities in the last one year. He invited me to visit him and I did.

While there last weekend he told me his mum was coming to visit and asked me to give him some space which I did. I‘m not prone to suspicion but I thought it would be an opportunity to meet her and seeing that his sister is married and stays in the same city, I wondered why his “mum“ would chose to stay at his place, so before leaving I set up an app on my phone to record whatever was going on in my absence. When I returned later, I found out that his “mum“ was actually another girl. Right now I‘m thinking of confronting him about his lie or just walking away and never looking back. What do I do?

Let a dog roam and he'll find his way home!

@OP
you MUST give him the chance to defend himself as you do not know who that girl is....... face him with your findings and hear what he has to say on the matter. if the story is BS then walk away. if he doesnt want to answer and rather focus on the spy app (or your lack of trust) then walk away. it is very easy to confirm anything he will tell you.

Op stupidity is seeing the obvious but choosing to believe the lies.

You know the content of their converstaion,you know well enough from the conversation if he is cheating.

If you have a deep conviction he is cheating,them it's time to call it quit.

If you confront him,he is going to lie,or tell you to forgive him that he will change.

The worst decision you can make is believing he will change and if you do believe you will only be left dissapointed for the rest of your life.

Think about this,if you were number one on his list,he would never had told you to go away but rather he would have called the other girl and cancelled the appointment with her.


Lets assume he is not even cheating,why did he have to lie with his mum.


My2Cent:You are just an option in his book,so walk away from the relationship now before he rips your heart off completely.
Never forget you were born without him and their are millions out there that are better than him,also their is someone out there who will make you his priority

I don't really know what to advise you, cos if you should confront him,he will find a way of convincing you to believe otherwise.If you don't,you stand a risk of not trusting him and feeling insecure about the r/ship...Please r/ship experts should give a straight forward answer to this question,i find it interesting

From what i know oh,(nobody should eat me raw abeg)...at least 80% of the guys cheat on their girlfriends or wife! Yes! And i really hate dat bout them,.but i've come to accept dat fact like dat.
But the thing is dat despite cheating, some guys still make it clear that their girlfriend is their 'real girlfriend' and they don't mess with her(they do their 'cheating' as discreet as possible) and they give her all d respect she deserves, but there are some guys who cheat without respect for their girlfriends like in ur case..he made u leave d house so he can bang another girl, in d same house u slept last night and will still sleep dat night. No! dats bullsh.it and trash...and u're his trash, sorry to say dat. I'd say you should confront him..but be careful, cos he's gon deny it or ask for forgiveness or even go on the defensive by saying "why did u have to infringe on his privacy by recording?" or "u don't trust him"..u know shi.ts like dats.. you shouldn't fall for any of it.. guys are more deceitful than a snake.
You shouldn't even take such nonsense.
After the confrontation, then walk away.
If he comes back to beg u...gauge and access his response, explanation and behaviour with sense and wisdom to know if he really loves you., and don't just accept so fast! And dats if he'll even come back.
U just need to reason with ur head here. Don't let ur heart do the reasoning..

Hmmmm so let's it was actually his mum that came,u would have heard all that they said and their plans.d fly followed d corpse to d grave so it must b buried wit it

You have your evidence and you know what they said and to some extent, what they did. If they did somethings or said something that was nasty, walk away and keep walking

If u talk 2 em he myt beg and convince you to stay back! U already knw hez cheating so u dnt nid further proof! Pls walk away...I knw you love him dts y u bothered 2 ask @all buh he has d hart to lie to you lyk dat den he cn do worse...jst walk away!

Since u are a good FBI agent n a good spy u knw d next step. 4 me, l keep mum.

U got what u wanted!
Now who's hurt?

'You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free'. It will be very ludicrous of you if you stay put in the relationship after you'd caught him cheating on you red-handed. Or what explanations or excuses do you still need from him? Telling him you had idea of all that happened while you were away? How he had another girl in his place for so so time and had so so thing with her? Or you gonna repeat to his hearing all they both discussed together while you were gone or the whole fun time they had together ?

It's quite obvious you're nothing but just a bad-mate to him, it means you have wasted the whole of these years with someone who had never truly loved you. He has no any sort of respect for you either cuz if he does, he won't have sent you out and lied to you, instead he would tell the other girl he wasn't available not sending you away, with the lie that is mom was visiting, that's to show you mean nothing to him.

What's the biggie about you meeting his so-called mom in the first place if he truly loves you? I leave you with this quote "Never make someone your priority, if to them you are only an option".

You might be thinking telling him would make him change but a leopard don't change its spot. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Be wise, and make the right decision ASAP.

fluid26: Let a dog roam and he'll find his way home!

NO BE D BILLY OF NOW

These are two things. If he cares so much about u and still cheating, I don't think u should bug urself. Men were created to cheat and its in our blood. Any lady competing with a man in such case will always find herself to blame. What you should focus on is how you can make him a better man. Does he really worth it. Out of all d 1million ladies he might have, do you feel he treats u as the 1 in a million? If he does, then you have nothing to worry. Don't try and compete by cheating with anoda guy, else, you will make things worse for urself and not ur guy. So cheers.

i dont believe this story because no Nigerian girl goes a half hour without her phone needless to say "setting up an app to record what happens when im not around"
your ass should be thrown in jail for spying on a guy who didnt want you to meet with his mother which should have told you that you are nothing but a jump off

Confront him so he knows you know. Total loser the decision is yours in the end see how he reacts. Nonsense

Breeze don blow and fowl nyansh don open!

Even if you confront him, you would be the one on receiving end, either positive or negative.

shezpwiti: If u talk 2 em he myt beg and convince you to stay back! U already knw hez cheating so u dnt nid further proof! Pls walk away...I knw you love him dts y u bothered 2 ask @all buh he has d hart to lie to you lyk dat den he cn do worse...jst walk away!

And you believe none of your loved ones has ever lied to?

Topic : Confront him....and you don't necessarily have to leave now.

.

Dude… did it ever occur to you that she just might have another phone? SMH

omega25red: i dont believe this story because no Nigerian girl goes a half hour without her phone needless to say "setting up an app to record what happens when im not around"
your ass should be thrown in jail for spying on a guy who didnt want you to meet with his mother which should have told you that you are nothing but a jump off

I dont gerrit.can someone pls explain what and how that app can be used?

A jealous girlfriend does more investigation than the FBI...but why did you put the recorder. You should have thought of what you wanted to do with it the result of your investigations before planting it there..

Dont confront him, confront your feelings and cheat knowingly on him. Make him pay!!!

this is a big lie, there is no nigerian girl that has such app to even monitor his bf. lol talking to fools just to draw traffic

Yes ... With a baseball bat to smash him to smithereens just in case .... Good luck

Babe I can't tell u̶̲̥̅̊ to walk away but I can tell u̶̲̥̅̊ he don't have regards for u. Someday he would live u̶̲̥̅̊ for d̲̅aτ̲̅ same girl.

just end it with him and if he wants the reasons or tries to soften you up just tell him that you do not trust him and just say '' i found out what you were hiding from me and if you do not know what i am talking about, keep searching yours ways then you will understand because there is no way i am going to tell you since you know what you have been upto'' . keep the whole break up reason mysterious and do not allow him to touch you or convince you otherwise. Be very dramatic and tell him '' i found out okay, and i dont think i will ever trust you in my life''. He will feel guilty and keep trying to come after you. Now this would mean you have control and the upper hand. So you can manupilating him into feeling guilty and working hard to win your trust.Be very dramatic and fake tears if you can. It depends on you whether you wana walk away with pain or have some fun manupilating his emotions. If he does not play into your manipulation it means he never gave a damn about you from the word go. If a guy loves you and want you no amount of anger or whatever for that matter can keep him away and if he does not want you nothing you say or do will make him stay.

You already know what is on ground. like someone said are not even no 1 on his list
otherwise he wouldn't have asked you to give him a space for his visitor.
my 2 cent, tell him the truth with your evidence and show him the exit.
he doesn't worth it, before he dash you hiv run 4 ur life.

U can equaly c dat u've already gudged ur self by try 2 hav an access 2 d interactn btw him and d mum, was dat hw ur mum thought u, or is dat hw ur mum usually does 2 ur mum? Well did has already bin done bt nxt tym try nt 2 do such coz dat actn is forbidin. Bt my advice 4 u is dis, try nt 2 confront, dat's if u 2ruly luv hm and stil wish 2 kip ur rltnshp. A word is enough 4 d wise.

I am not sure that guy really loves you sef!

Confront him with the evidence first before you walk away!
So he will know the reason why you are dumping his assss!