Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,465 members, 7,808,655 topics. Date: Thursday, 25 April 2024 at 02:58 PM

Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? (14317 Views)

My Parents Threatened To Bring Me Back To Nigeria For Bad Behaviour / Do Mothers-In-law Have A Say In Wedding Preparation? / How To Make Your Wife Understand That U Are So Bitter About Her Bad Behaviour (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 8:51am On Nov 06, 2012
I have been trying to ask this question over and over again.why do mothers get almost all the blame when a child displays very bad behaviour?

I know of a family friend whose 2 grown up kids are always involved in crime though one of them died as a result of cult activities few months ago.

Apart from taking care of the family financially, the man is seldom present to take care of his kids since when they were small.

He's always travelling due to the nature of his business. Their mum being a house wife has been taking care of the boys.

Now that one of them is dead, the husband and his relations are heaping the blame on the woman for not doing her responsibilities as a mother taking care of them.

Why should mothers be blamed?
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by ciphoenix: 9:04am On Nov 06, 2012
The Nigerian Mentality

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Twy: 2:23pm On Nov 06, 2012
It is a mis-conceived notion, I would think both the father and mother's parental actions or inactions can be a guiding motivation in the boys actions. Both parents can have effect in a child life, the one that comes to mind is the educational status and I think in Nigeria fatherly inattention may lead to children seeking male guidance from peers and others outside the nuclear family.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Eneze1(f): 2:23pm On Nov 06, 2012
I dont know o, in child training both hands must be on deck, y must one party be blamed for the failure of both parents responsibility, its just weird around this side of the world

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Gee001: 2:28pm On Nov 06, 2012
Truely Nigerian mentality as sumone rightly said. D mothers take all d blames wen tins go awry in d family especially wen it comes 2 d children while d fathers take all d praises wen d children do well in life.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by coogar: 2:33pm On Nov 06, 2012
berem: I have been trying to ask this question over and over again.why do mothers get almost all the blame when a child displays very bad behaviour?

I know of a family friend whose 2 grown up kids are always involved in crime though one of them died as a result of cult activities few months ago.

Apart from taking care of the family financially, the man is seldom present to take care of his kids since when they were small.

He's always travelling due to the nature of his business. Their mum being a house wife has been taking care of the boys.

Now that one of them is dead, the husband and his relations are heaping the blame on the woman for not doing her responsibilities as a mother taking care of them.

Why should mothers be blamed?

she's responsible for the welfare of the boys - she's a full housewife which means the husband must be twice as hardworking to fend for his family. working twice as hard also meant plenty of time away from home.......
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by bidell1(f): 2:37pm On Nov 06, 2012
[size=18pt]Its not a Nigerian mentality, nitwits......Read Proverbs 10:1
:[/size]
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Aaronrod: 2:40pm On Nov 06, 2012
Because they largely influence a child's life.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Booty4me: 2:42pm On Nov 06, 2012
8th to comment.. Am not happy.
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by MadCow1: 2:46pm On Nov 06, 2012
Simple.... Because its the mothers that raise the child.. The father provides for the family..
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by phiszo(m): 2:46pm On Nov 06, 2012
10th to comment. **browse harder nxt time**
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 2:47pm On Nov 06, 2012
Becos.... Gud pikin, na em papa get am, bad pikin, na em mama get am. undecided
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by pheesayor(m): 2:56pm On Nov 06, 2012
Imanuelle: Becos.... Gud pikin, na em papa get am, bad pikin, na em mama get am. undecided

Exactly, a yoruba adage says that. Fathers should realise their importance in the home, mentoring is important for kids growing up especially male children, reason why I will never support divorce

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by 50calibre(m): 2:57pm On Nov 06, 2012
Because the duty of care, nurture and character building lies PRIMARILY with the mother.

it's simple biology, the same principle not only applies to humans, but to all other animals.
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by mascot87(m): 3:00pm On Nov 06, 2012
Booty4me: 8th to comment.. Am not happy.
are you alright?
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by niddamugu(m): 3:02pm On Nov 06, 2012
That's what the bible says - proverbs 29 v 15.... besides, women pamper children too much. they tend to be too caring for the children hence making the fathers look non-caring....
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by greatgod2012(f): 3:17pm On Nov 06, 2012
May God help we women.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by greatgod2012(f): 3:18pm On Nov 06, 2012
Its men's mentality

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by greatgod2012(f): 3:20pm On Nov 06, 2012
Its because women are believed to be closer and more friendly to d children than d men, hence, d thought dt women should be able to always convince them to behave well. Failure to do so, means d woman have not performed her duty as expected.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nuezha(m): 3:21pm On Nov 06, 2012
Papa wey don comot since cockcrow dey look for money. Mama wey suppose dey house dey take care of pikin na so so tak tak she dey tak up & down. Now pikin don spoil who him go blame?!

Well, it's all transfer of aggression, and it's not limited to the house of the poor. Someone taking the blame is far better than both parents buckpassing...
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nuezha(m): 3:24pm On Nov 06, 2012
50calibre: Because the duty of care, nurture and character building lies PRIMARILY with the mother.

it's simple biology, the same principle not only applies to humans, but to all other animals.

...PRIMARILY!!!

I can see you are not a parent yet.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by tavon(m): 3:27pm On Nov 06, 2012
Because African culture is against feminism. A womans job is the kitchen and the kids and if theres a problem its the woman's fault.

A friend of mine once asked me has your father ever cooked for the family before. Even on your moms birthday?

It was then i realized that we dont treat our women as equals.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by bola4dprec(m): 3:30pm On Nov 06, 2012
Mother will always shoulder some blame
for their kids' bad choices. It's just the
way it is, they are responsible for raising
our children and teaching them right
from wrong, they are also responsible for
their behavior (at least until they're 18).
That being said, the child is also liable for
his or her bad decisions. It's a
combination of the two. Until a child's
brain is fully developed (late teens, I
believe mother is the best teacher), he or she cannot properly
process information fully and therefore
cannot be held fully responsible for his or
her actions. As mother, they have to
teach their children critical thinking skills,
forethought, and logic. Once their brains
can completely process these thoughts,
they become fully responsible for them.
Until that point, it's mother responsibility to
ensure that they're making the right
choices.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Tunjman(m): 3:31pm On Nov 06, 2012
I can only answer the question if the op can tell me why the child's first language is called mother's tongue and not father's tongue
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by tavon(m): 3:35pm On Nov 06, 2012
So in a situation where both father and mother are working why should it be the woman's job to take care of the kids?

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 3:36pm On Nov 06, 2012
ciphoenix: The Nigerian Mentality

It has nothing to do with Nigerian mentality.

Its better to bend a fish when its wet than when its dry, cos it'll break. So is a child, the beginning years are when habits and characters are easily picked and formed in the childs life.
Secondly, the children of no doubt spend more time with their mums, take directives from her and learn whatever they see the her do. That's why people will quickly blame the mother if her child goes "dark side". But this doesn't exonerate dads from the responsibility.
HOPE PARENTS ESPECIALLY MUMS WILL LEARN FROM THIS?
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 3:37pm On Nov 06, 2012
tavon: So in a situation where both father and mother are working why should it be the woman's job to take care of the kids?

Is that question directed to God or to man?
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 3:39pm On Nov 06, 2012
bola4dprec: Mother will always shoulder some blame
for their kids' bad choices. It's just the
way it is, they are responsible for raising
our children and teaching them right
from wrong, they are also responsible for
their behavior (at least until they're 18).
That being said, the child is also liable for
his or her bad decisions. It's a
combination of the two. Until a child's
brain is fully developed (late teens, I
believe mother is the best teacher), he or she cannot properly
process information fully and therefore
cannot be held fully responsible for his or
her actions. As mother, they have to
teach their children critical thinking skills,
forethought, and logic. Once their brains
can completely process these thoughts,
they become fully responsible for them.
Until that point, it's mother responsibility to
ensure that they're making the right
choices.

U HAVE SPOKEN WELL and DESERVE TO BE REWARDED.
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by megareal: 3:39pm On Nov 06, 2012
Typical chauvinistic Nigerian society. If encomiums are also poured on the mother when the child turns out good, wouldn't hurt so much. But the blame lies with the mother for a bad child and the praises go to the father for a good child. Truth is, after a certain age, most children need to be disciplined by their fathers. They tend to fear and respect their daddies more and if fathers could just create a little opportunity to contribute towards discipline, most kids wouldn't turn out so bad. As far as am concerned, both parents should be blamed.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 3:42pm On Nov 06, 2012
tavon: Because African culture is against feminism. A womans job is the kitchen and the kids and if theres a problem its the woman's fault.

A friend of mine once asked me has your father ever cooked for the family before. Even on your moms birthday?

It was then i realized that we dont treat our women as equals.


WRONG!!!
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 3:45pm On Nov 06, 2012
Nuezha:

...PRIMARILY!!!

I can see you are not a parent yet.

...PRIMARILY!!!

Am a parent and u're wrong, but 50calibre is RIGHT.

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

How Soon After The Death Of A Spouse To Start A New Relationship? / Selfish Sibling Willing To Do Anything To Solely Inherit / Husbands: Does Your Wife Kneel Down To Greet You In The House?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 39
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.