Redmosquito:
Security! Please take this man outta here.
Foxy! I don miss u for here. I no dey come NL like before. The real world on ma mind.
U suppose don drop link to ur tory na, how u want make them guys read am?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Redmosquito:

tchaik! One of the first builders of AN
I meant no homo by that statement ooo

*opens red calabash, consults Amadioha, believes him*

I'll miss all d folks and minion too.......
Bye bye african nerd

THE RETURN OF BLACK PRINCE


(Had to keep you guys entertained)

Smoke bellowed from the chinmey of the old house as people gathered to see what must have caused it for the smoke was no ordinary one like the ones from fire place. The smoke had a combination of purple and pink and its thickness pushed through the air creating a vacunm.

''Na wetin come be this one na, abi the house dey born?''

Red-Moss asked.

''You dey craze, you don ever see purple and pink flame? No be only red flame, blue flame and black smoke you know?''

Minion replied adjusting his old glasses on his shrivelled face.

Red-Moss yawned and scratched on his potruding hairy belly that shot out from underneath his singlet. The belly was an eye sore coupled with his manly breast, the same Dark Prince is now a demented old man. He picked his tooth and spat read coloured spittle from his mouth staining the grey earth.

''You don dey chop gorro (kola-nut) again ko, no wonder you just look like my grand mother.''

Minion chipped in laughing at his own jokes, exposing missing tooths and a blackened tongue.

''Come, no make me remove the remaining teeth from your mouth''

Red-Moss fired back.

There was a creaking sound from the door which made the onlookers to move back in fear. The door opened revealing more purple smokes as a figure emerged from within it. Everybody took to their heels save Red-Moss and Minion who took combat positions, Minion holding a rusted axe and Red-Moss a termite ridden club. Their breath came in puffs and their eyes shown with fire, fear was quivering behind them.

The figure adorned a dirty brownish cloak (More of I was white) that had a twisted and turned ex-looking golden belt, on one hand she held an old bow and a quiver of arrows. As she came into the open she removed the hood from her head. Beautiful Herculean!!! What a catastrophe for she was the opposite of the young Herculean.

''All these old men never retire? Wetin una dey here dey do, even you Red-Moss wey your preek no dey gree stand in the night.''

She laughed sarcastically.

''O baby, na public we dey o, and you just make this short devil dey laugh me''

Red-Moss replied feigning anger while Minion reeled on the ground with laughter his rusted axe thrown to one side, his baba riga sweeping the ground.

''If na my head you go get power but see am na, na just this old woman dey fall your hands''

Red-Moss grited his teeth but remained silent.

''Me and hades say make we just try some old trick if e go work because e don tay o''

Herculean chipped in.

At the mention of hades, the ground shook and a cracked voice barely audible spoke from nowhere.

''Na who dey call the lord of darkness name like that, that person no dey fear underworld?''

Red-Moss shook his head.

''Come, nna, dat your trick no go work, that megaphone battery don dey die''

Hades came out from behind the door with his black robe patched in several places.

''Must you fall my hand, long time, na where you enter na, your wife just dey keep me company since that time''

Hades said.

Red-Moss scoffed

''Person wey don see her nenopause for tay tay, I use lubrication so tay her inner wall develop resistance, enjoy her jawe''

At that Herculean pounced on him but stopped midway when lightning cut accross the sky. They all looked up to see the purple and pink smoke creating a hole that led to the outerworld and creatures of different type falling or flying from the sky. Disaster stared earth in the face as the whole place became blackened.

''See wetin una cause ko, all in the name of magic''

Minion said as he transformed into a younger Minion looking cajad in his bellowing agbada and cap, his golden axe appearing shining with light and an inner fire. Red-Moss transformed into the Black Prince, the Herculean's cloak whiteness stinging the eye in the ensuing darkness.

The place shook a second time and they all turned to see Hades in his full de-glory, darkness surrounding him. He looked at them and from his formless eyes, something like an eye with a lid appeared which winked at them then disappeared immediately. He then breathed thick smoke from his mouth smelling nicely of igbo mixed with ermo. Black Prince breathed deeply and readied himself.

They were all back, ready to defend the world from external siege.

Enough mistakes dey my write-up but make una manage am because I no too settle down write am. Will write some more o if you guys give me a go ahead...

RM u are very imaginative, let nobody tell you less. Can you believe I was awake till about 2:00 am reading 27 pages of AN? Just finished it though and looking foward to reading Foxy's posts. I hope this becomes some kind of series with RM and Foxy writing different parts **just my idea**.

This Red Mosquito got me reading since yesterday. I kant actually believe I had nairaland open since yesterday just flipping thru pages. Good story shaa..................but chief u almost put me in trouble 2dai o. Silly me I was reading it while Bishop Oyedepo was preaching And I was now @ dat part where quadri wanted 2 toast dah geh in mfm.......... I almost burst into laughter shaa.......God 4give me tho

Red-mosquito,thanks 4 dix beautiful piece@least d 2 days it took me 2 read d whole 27 pages was nt a waste. FOXY,ARES,MICKI83,OLUWAFUNMILAYO nd odas.....u guys rock!

Eeem...eeem....eemm,red moss part 2 of AN,is nt a bad idea ooo

https://www.nairaland.com/1106399/oral-farts-flamboyance-stench-hilarious Check out this cool link

Thank you guys for the comments, really. I'm already making up plans for more stories. But you guys should check out the link above in the mean time. Its really cool, check it out

Red moss, been reading your post since last year, even d short piece you wrote for Christmas
You are truely talented, keep d good work up
You are a great poet too
Wish you best of luck in Medicine too

Redmosquito: https://www.nairaland.com/1106399/oral-farts-flamboyance-stench-hilarious Check out this cool link

Thank you guys for the comments, really. I'm already making up plans for more stories. But you guys should check out the link above in the mean time. Its really cool, check it out

It's oral fart!
Compost of a 7-day failed digestion
Fusing with oral manure
To form the world's latest climatic hazard

redmoss,.... na ur sis be dat? una resemble

Redmosquito:

She's perfect, right?. Abeg make una push am to frontpage. I don message the mods, but they will act faster if more people ask.
I love that babe. That thread is one of my best.

she is near perfect.... had to check d date of her first post to determine who inspired d oda......

i lyk d poem? its good enuf to adorn our frontpage.. she is creative, just lyk u.

RedMossy, it makes a great read.
Imagine Presido sleeping on bowler hat!!!
Kept me reading and wanting more.

The augmented piece by Foxy was very hilarious, although needed some censorship.

DON'T LET THE GIFT WASTE. More Alomo and Agege Garri to you.

Owk, Red-Moss, no vex wo, but man must chop even if na to do piracy

Here is the continuation of the post









THE PLIGHT OF CASSAVA
There was a loud thudding sound which made the earth shook vigorously from side to side the moon almost crashing into the sun while stars clinged unto each other to avoid falling. Black Prince turned to face whatever had fallen and but could only see brown looking hairs. Before he could have time to react, he was swept high into the sky landing on top of a building.

He stood up, shook his head to clear it, and from the height he was he saw what had swept him off with so much force, a big tuber of cassava. His mouth fell open as the cassava turned and faced him, two dark spots on its top acting like eyes looked at the Black Prince unblinking.

“Na you dey chop me like no man’s business abi, you dey soak me like say you no need protein abi? Today your own don finish”

Cassava spoke from no particular mouth.

With that it gave a piercing shout and rushed towards Black Prince swinging roots thicker than an iroko tree as it made its way.

“I don die finish today, so garri ma dey come revenge mission”

Black Prince said. Lifting his club, his blood boiling and a deadly smile playing on his lips as he readied himself waiting for the moment the cassava root will get within attack view. Some meters to where the Black Prince stood, cassava coughed and spat, a thick blob of throat mucus fell on Black Prince burying him instantly.

Cassava got to the building, its root like hand turning into spike sharper than the tip of a pointed blade. With its hand raised, he struck at its mucus hoping to pierce through Black Prince with it but was taken aback as it got only half way before being severed from the rest of its body. A scream of pain escaped cassava as it glanced round to see Minion hand outstretched waiting to receive something. A surge of pain went through cassava again as more part of its hand fell off and a golden light passed beneath him to the hand of the short ugly creature dressed in agbada and a matching cap. It was the golden axe.

Cassava had not expected anyone to come between it and its prey let alone something it could crush beneath it foot. In anger cassava swinged one of the numerous roots on it body knocking Minion high into the air, it shot out another root, grabbing Minion mid-air and with great force smacked him on the ground. As the dust cleared, the place he had smacked Minion revealed a crater with Minion in it, his bottom shooting to the sky.

Cassava lifted his leg time, angry and filled with the desire to kill, brought it down with force into the crater but took it back at once shouting in pain. Herculean was there bow in hand, her quiver empty and a sword strapped to her back, she had shot all her arrows into Cassava’s foot. Cassava took a little time to admire her beauty before longing at her fully hoping to crush her as it fell in her position. Herculean easily limped out of the way with the help of a dark smoke. This took her up into the sky while cassava transformed in its lying position, its eyes appearing again, hand coming out and roots flying into the air to grab Herculean.

Cassava froze mid-air as it sighted what was holding her mid air; it was the lord of the underworld himself, Hades. Before cassava could react, the young Herculean lunged with her sword at it drawing fiery energy from Hades. It cut cassava into two, one part flying far while the other part laid there. Minion jumped up and rushed to the other part hacking and cutting at cassava as he climbed the fallen villain. Soon cassava was in bit and pieces while Hades appeared and commanded a huge grinding machine to appear. It did and with black power, Cassava was grinded in the machine, soaked and squeezed and then started getting roasted by a huge fire and pan which Minion provided. Herculean stirred and turned the product until it was dry and crisp, IJEBU GARRI.

At that same moment, the Back Prince broke out of its akpu prison, hand on the instrument hanging between his legs but then, cassava had already been defeated. He looked down to see Minion, Hades and Herculean preparing to soak garri with sugar and kuli-kuli.

*weaving through the crowd of AN fans to get to Redmoss* *stops to catch breath* Just had to get an autograph and commend you for seeing it through. Kudos!

Redmosquito you are outrightly splendid.Got me cracked up the fuccking whole of today.Thanks

Raid Mosquitoe, i must say you gat a talent here, have been reading your story for some time and i must say, am impressed. Kudos Man and more grease to your elbow!!

I have read all through ur adventures mossy. I want to unequivocally state here without fear of recrimination that u r good nwanne. Infact a bottle of alomo and 2 cups of ijebu garri 4 ur efforts. ;DI have read all through ur adventures mossy. I want to unequivocally state here without fear of recrimination that u r good nwanne. Infact a bottle of alomo and 2 cups of ijebu garri 4 ur efforts.

Foxy ur updates r wow nd rib crackin.c bad formatn of former enemies turnd fwend.bt moss giv am go ahead na

Mr. Red mosque, I pull cap for Ýou, papa GOD has given ÝÒu a̶̲̥̅̊ great gift," WALK AND SHINE." mr red mosquito

@red mosquito

Hi,

Like ur crazy imagination.
I have got a proposal for u, lets talk if u game.
olulu4ever@gmail.com


Regards

Cool story...im impressed

I love ur story red mosquitor bt i dn't lyk whr u end it

Nice story . .eemmmm**pulls on axillary hairs** bt too quick an ending . .what happened2 his mum . .the church . .his dog . .mr president . .was he saved 4rm cronus . .or is he to be possessed 4eva . .**scratching orbicularis oris** U need to fill in all this blank desmosomes or I'll inject your "corticospinal tract with intra-cranial Alomo or subdural Ijebu Phenobarb" . . .

I have heard of this story. I need to read it in 7D lenses

Lwkmd

Redmosquito, where you dey sef