I have been married for six months and I am in a very big dilemma especially so because I am a Christian. My husband is a pastor whiles I am a chorister.
On the night of our wedding, he insisted that, we pray and give thanks to God. We held long hours of prayer and to be honest with you I was very disappointed. The next day came and he told me that, he has a clear direction from God that, we need to wait for directions as to when we can start getting intimate. It's been one excuse after the other and it has been over six months.
He buys me gifts and makes sure I am comfortable but we have never had intimate relations in all the six months we've been married. I got infuriated and reported him to our counselor who spoke to us but things remained the same. This time round I went to the pastor in charge and upon questioning, my husband admitted that, he is totally impotent and cannot get his manhood up.
I was gripped with fear and shock. When asked how long he had had the problem, he said it's been about7 years. I asked why he did not tell me but lied to me. He said he took a wife by faith, believing that, taking that bold step and 'believing the things that be not as though they were” as the Bible puts it could bring him healing…
Bola, I was hurt and disappointed. I've kept this to myself and feel it is time to speak up. When asked what he wants me to do, he said he wants me to stand with him in prayers and fight the situation. Bola, I don't see myself doing this. I have been asked to be considerate and remember my vows that say “for better, for worse”. But I took these vows out of deception. How long will this last? His situation s I found out is very medically challenging.
Bola I am a very sad and confused person. What will I say is the reason I got out of the marriage? He will be a public ridicule if I ever give the right reasons. Already, ever since we met with the pastor, he finds it difficult to go to church. It is tough. I can tell he is embarrassed and broken but I can't put my own life on hold for him especially so considering the fact that he lied to me. Please ask your listeners to help me out of this. I would like to enjoy intimacy and have children.
Timeli

Dayum! That is some serious ish. The woman should think it through. Can't think of an advice right at this moment.
The union hasn't been consummated, so an annulment is a possibility....

I still support abstinence though.
#justsaying!

Divorce is inevitable,he was not honest with you,he should have told you before you got married.


You see faith is not enough in this kind of marriage but ASSURANCE FROM GOD and if you dont have any assurance from God that he will ever be potent and have children (I mean God telling you personaly,not some prophet or pastor telling you,then you need a divorce)

I'm a pastor(not licensed),let's go into the scriptures.
Romans 4:19-20
And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sara's womb:He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;


The only reason Abraham had faith enough was because their was a promise,so if you dont get a personal promise/conviction from God that you will concieve in this marriage then divorce is ineviatable

well what more can i say,hmmm okay find out if his situation cud b resolved medically..if not cal d marriage off bcuz if u choose to stick to him despite ol d deceit den many satanic advice wld start creeping into ur head.

cal me a bad child bt...am a bonafide activist in testing b4 buying.

You should have test drove the car before buying it hun. Anyways, its time for an annulment because if you stay in the marriage, you are going to cheat and plus he ripped you off big time.

The vows you took are no binding here cos they were taken under false pretense.

You should get a divorce except you are comfortable with your conditions of course

if u knw u cant endure it, pls withdraw frm d marriage & go far from him to save his face in the hood. but 1st, forgive him!

As good as faith is, it does not take the place of honesty cos they are different. Your man ought to have filled you in before the marriage and then ask for your support if you can but now I SEE THE WHOLE PROCESS AS A SHAM!
A situation where people hide under the guise of religion to cover their sins is as bad as it can get.

Was he already a pastor before he became impotent or impotent before becoming a pastor? If the latter then, He is not even qualified to be a pastor cos he saw priesthood as a means of escape from shame and now thinks the congregation and other pastors who are watching him can be fooled by marrying you as house keeper.
WELL THE DECISION IS YOUR
IF YOUR FAITH CAN CARRY STANDING WITH HIM AND YOU STILL LOVE HIM GO AHEAD!
IF YOU CAN SACRIFICE YOUR JOY TO KEEP HIS SHAME, THAT WILL BE GREAT! AFTER ALL THAT IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT BUT BE WARNED THAT THERE WILL BE FRUSTRATING MOMENTS AHEAD!

BUT IF NOT,
THE MARRIAGE WAS A FAILURE FROM THE BEGINNING SO, FIND YOUR EXIT ROUTE!


My 1kobo
wishing you the best!

abbeycial: cal me a bad child bt...am a bonafide activist in testing b4 buying.

Life! Lol

Ok now, I'm nowhere near "very religious" but that muthafukka lied to u! You get it? "He lied"! Now dats against d will of God. If he had strong faith as he claims he'd have told u & watch if d lord will touch u to remain in that relationship. Deception of this degree is a grave offence to me darling, and I'm not buyin' that. Quit his behind!

That's so so selfish and inconsiderate of him to do that,could that be faith?Hell No.he should have prayed and gone for healing before he married you.BTW its a tough one,the decision is urs.

lecturerdabo: As good as faith is, it does not take the place of honesty cos they are different. Your man ought to have filled you in before the marriage and then ask for your support if you can but now I SEE THE WHOLE PROCESS AS A SHAM!
A situation where people hide under the guise of religion to cover their sins is as bad as it can get.

Was he already a pastor before he became impotent or impotent before becoming a pastor? If the latter then, He is not even qualified to be a pastor cos he saw priesthood as a means of escape from shame and now thinks the congregation and other pastors who are watching him can be fooled by marrying you as house keeper.
WELL THE DECISION IS YOUR
IF YOUR FAITH CAN CARRY STANDING WITH HIM AND YOU STILL LOVE HIM GO AHEAD!
IF YOU CAN SACRIFICE YOUR JOY TO KEEP HIS SHAME, THAT WILL BE GREAT! AFTER ALL THAT IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT BUT BE WARNED THAT THERE WILL BE FRUSTRATING MOMENTS AHEAD!

BUT IF NOT,
THE MARRIAGE WAS A FAILURE FROM THE BEGINNING SO, FIND YOUR EXIT ROUTE!


My 1kobo
wishing you the best!

You make sense no be small.....

The question is, where der any form of counseling before you guys agreed to get married? And have you tried taking the case to a close relative of his? E.g Is father or mother i.e if they're still alife, perhaps also his uncles, brothers and sisters? Also you could seek medical advice frm a medical pratctitional.

He should have stated every of his secrets before marriage, so I think he married under false pretence. Also in a typical Nigerian society infertility is assumed to be the faulty of the wife. To save your skin I advice quitting soonest, to help the man- give some other excuse aside his impotence...

He is not a pastor, he is a deceiver. Get out of that marriage.

Mynd_44: The vows you took are no binding here cos they were taken under false pretense.

You should get a divorce except you are comfortable with your conditions of course

You said 'But I took these vows out of deception' .
That is fraud and you have the right to walk away if u r not comfortable.
I don't know about the faith stuff here but if u can , stay n get a baby by other means.
.
#SAYNOTOUNTESTEDPRODUCTS

even the catholic church will grant divorce on these grounds!

Ujujoan: even the catholic church will grant divorce on these grounds!

Lmao

Every further day you spend in that fraud of a union only solidifies your status as a world class grade A "mumu". Are you also waiting on divine revelation to show you the exit??
[That bastard is a manipulator. And that he did it all along with God as his alibi makes him a potential killer in the making. Run!!!!!!!]

I don't know about u guys oh,bt d username sounds like dat of a man,hw come na woman dey tell story?
Just saying

cdamsel: I don't know about u guys oh,bt d username sounds like dat of a man,hw come na woman dey tell story?
Just saying

I would have given an advise, but after seeing your comment^^^
It makes sense to move on. Thanks

This story is actually sad. I think the best thing is divorce. Lesson to us singles who still believe in no pre marital sex is that, we should try to verify the man before going into marriage. I mean there would be days when you cuddle does he respond to your touch? abstinence is the best but we should play smart too.

@poster
In Catholic church, If a marriage is not consumated after 2 weeks it was contracted, it will be dissolved.
Also in your particular case, it was contracted with deception. This is also nullified on the ground of deception.

Have you tried giving him a bl0w j0b?

cheddarking: Have you tried giving him a bl0w j0b?

bwahahahahhhahaaahah allah u no well. but i think she's desperate enough to have already taken such measures and more
[NOTE: ur comment is prolly not as funny as i make it seem. blame it on d alcohol]

@Op, I believe your case is a minor one. Tell your pastor boyfriend abi na husband you call am to take one bottle of Alomo mixed with agbo jedi; then, come carry am go Wall Street or Ocean Blue for proper deliverance from the spirit of impotency. I swear by the time wey una go reach house na so you go dey shout daddy mo o till day break.

.

NO SEX?

Eeeeyaaaaaa!

I tink d Catholic church annuls such a marriage and not divorce. U return back to ur "single" status and not a divorcee.

Sexxx and pregnancy before marriage is so important.

My question is did u seek God's face bf u go into d marriage because if u did, God wold av reveal dis to u. In order word, God may want to test ur faith. Every home is battling thru one problem or d oda. Pls dnt divorce ur husband,d deed has bin don. Pray , fast fervently n hear from God, den seek medical advise. Dnt lost ur faith. God will definitely surprise u, just stood by ur husband. By doing dis, he will love n adore u forever wen he eventually conquer. Dnt listen to wrong advice