@ Nutter
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Simply, You either break away by listening to Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, or you break away by breaking away. just run and dont look back but in the real sense. be sure you know what exactly you feel about the relationship and if you must have stayed in that relationship for a very long time and you have given all you have then why turn back now atleast their must be a motive in the first place. follow your instinct joo. if its worth staying for, stay and if it doesnt just move on afterall its not about how many times you fall in love but what you get to learn from each relationship.

stay cool and let your instinct guide u!

@babymine

If you find yourself in a wrong relationship and you don't want to go on because you know deep down in you that there's no future in that relationship, how do you break away especially when you're very fond of your partner and you've spent lots of time together.  How do you let go and move on with your life? How do you cope with the hurt and pain?

Have you been there before? How did you cope? How did you move on?

Please share your tips and experiences.     

Ive not been your kind of wrong relationship before, but if I were you, if I know that deep down within me i see no future in that relationship, regardless of all the fondness, memories,
first do a thorough soul-searching, to make sure you're really thinking about what you're thinking about(breaking up), and that U really want to do it, and that U aiint going to look back.
second find the best time and place to break the news to him,
third If U wont be able to compose yourself to blurt it out, i mean to say what you want to say, write it in a letter, then during your meeting together, give it to him, let him read it, just maintain your cool. He might ask "why", "when" etc., but if you've made up your mind, you'll find answers to all his questions,

Let him know: rather than have ill feelings towards U, U still appreciate him, wont forget the times you had together, and you are doing what you are doing(formal breaking up intro) to maintain the "just-friends" level.

hope that helped!!

hey babymine,
i think we have all lost track of ur question.
the question she is asking is HOW DOES ONE BREAK UP FROM A WRONG RELATIONSHIP?
she never said there is no love, or its gone, or she wants out or he abuses it, or all those tings dat make u wanna run, from my observation i think everything is just perfect but the relationship is wrong. in the sense that it could be he is married, or they r of diff faiths or he is ur bestfriends ex, or ur sisters husband or wateva, but u sha know the relationship is wrong abi?

well in dat kind of situation i think i have a little experience, therefore i know there is no easy way out, if u have time you can let it burn out by itself if not i think you should find other ways of spending ur time.

for example in my case i built my life around him, so i retraced my steps when he was away for a week and started hanging out with people, i joined a swimming class, made new demanding interesting friends. so he might call and i am with my new friends so we cant see, or i might be at the club swimming or something, so we started drifting apart and made other friends. and slowly stopped depending on each other, so much so dat we may not see in a week, which used to be impossible.

what i am trying to say is bury urself in something you enjoy, make other people a part of ur life, and meet and enjoy their company without his presence. dats the only way i know, it is slow but it is sure. simply because the relationship is wrong doesnt mean u have to hurt him afterall u were in it together, believe me you, you wont have to spell it out, it will spell itself out.

You may hurt a little, but not as much as you will if you just straight break up,you would have adjusted to being without him in all of these processes dat other things will fill the void after he is gone.

@ zarah, thought u said we missed the question and yet you still refer to her as you and you and you. To answer a question like this their must be a subject and the fact that it is reffered babymine, does not mean its baby mine who needs the help. its just suggestions on how to break away from such instances. You have a way out because you are lucky and if you really and truly built your world around him then you wont just get over it by swimming or joinning friends, its a burden you would carry for a lot of years and unless the intensity of the relationship is not love but lust. the truth is, its hard, i have been through it and what i did was rather stupid anyway, i believed dating more than 15 girls would help me but instead it took me back to the sctrach. So it is hard to walk away and most expecially if na the guy be d very first person to u know, then every time you see the guy, your heart cuts and you just pretend as if everything is alright. one can be lucky sha to get a real bobo or baby after the break or while you still think breaking away but its nature's way and uncertain because what you call wrong might not be wrong ooo and mind you their is no perfect bobo or baby anywhere in this world. you have to create one. meaning you find one bobo or one baby and you transform abi na tranfigure am them they talk to suit your desire.

Understanding and like i would say if it would kill you just ran and not run away ooo. ran away ooo

well.babymine,i think one can only prescribe after a full diagnosis.what exactly about the relationship makes it wrong?it is just a matter of different strokes for different folks.

Seunmii, if you were in a relationship that has no future (of course you would know), would you just go on cos you really love the person. Would you leave everything to fate even though you know its not gonna work out? Why waste your time when you can move on. If you were in that kind of relationship what would you do? That's my Q.

I hope you get da point now.

love no blind ooo, na we lovers blind bcus love they see well well, one cant be actually sure of anything when it comes to emotions., but i would advice, you let your head guide you and not your emotion ooo because attimes your emotions would do nothing but wreck you while your head would make you see clearly what is right and what is wrong. so if your head say Walk then walk but @ Babymine , can you please tell me what you mean by no future and yet you are in love.?

@ Ashiwaju

Relationships are supposed to move from one level to the other. As a gurl, if I get into a relationship now, it should end in marriage (my opinion). So if I find myself in a relationship that isn't going to end in marriage, it means it has no future for me (my opinion too) so I see it as a wrong relationship. I might still be in luv with that person but what's the point when it's not gonna work out?

Thats just my illustration. Someone else could be in an abusive relationship and stil can't let go. Many people are in wrong relationships and don't know how to break away.

You feel me?

are you saying that most people dont just want to have relationship for the sake? well, no be every body dey find marriage ooo. some get into relationship for the fun of it and sincerely you love some people so much and yet you dont pray to get married to them. so like me i go talk no be everybody dey find marriage abi when u start date @ 18 and u just want enta uni. u don dey talk marriage, shey u want spoil ur luck ni. you might be lucky u know since you are yet to explore but for the arugbo's definately na only marriage go come them mind

That's why I said it's my opinion. Back when I was in school, I could date a guy because I wanted to but now that's not want I want anymore. It's all about choice, experience and growing up.      

i think you have to start with avoiding the person's calls or visitations

i was there too, i think am still there and

avoiding taking calls and visitatons works very well for good start

@ Maki

You were there? And still there?

i was

Well, avoiding calls i believe might not help matters, its like being a coward. if you dont like something and you dont want something stand up and face it. If you are bold to believe it aint gonna work then you should be bold to say QUIT. even though some ladies or guys arent sure of what happens afterward and not forgetting the threats. its just somehow o

Sometimes its good to avoid calls, break every form of communication with the person cos you could just hear the person's voice and the memory rushes back to you.

and if you suddenly run accross the person in the real sense, would jump into the lagoon inorder to avoid him/her?

Avoid the places you know you might likely bump into the person. But if you do bump into the person, you say hi and move on.

na yam?

so i might be correct when i said avoiding of calls and visitations for a start

Babymine,

If that relationship is the wrong one, you will have no problems letting it go. If you encounter much difficulty in letting go, then there may still be something good in it for you.

However, a bad relationship could be likened to a bad habit: bad for you, but you still can't let go. Alcoholism and adultery fall in that category.

Take a look at the bad side of that relationship, and ask urself if u can straighten it out. If not, then tell your partner you'll want to call it quits. Eschew all hard feelings. Breaking up must not mean the person is bad. It usually implies that the both of you are incompatible 'from then onwards'.

Good luck.

Is it really possible to break up when you have no hard feelings towards that person?

HOW DO YOU BREAK AWAY FROM A WRONG RELATIONSHIP

SPEAK UP, YOU'LL ONLY HURT EACH OTHER MORE BY CONTINUING A RELATIONSHIP THAT'S NOT WORKING IN THE FIRST PLACE, IF HE/ SHE LOVE YOU HE'LL/ SHE'LL UNDERSTAND AND TRY TO MOVE ON WITH HIS/ HER OWN LIFE.
OFCOURSE THERE'LL BE HURT FEELINGS BUT EVENTUALLY HE/ SHE WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR DECISSION IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE TWO OF YOU!!!! OFCOURSE BEAR IN MIND THAT YOUR DECISSION MUST BE FINAL FOR ONCE YOU BROKE UP YOU MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO WIN HIM/ HER BACK,

---- GODSPEED AND GOODLUCK

if it is wrong then you have to do what you think is necessary.not because of you or him,but cos of you both.i only wonder what you see that makes you think there isnt any future for you two.like sum1 said:marriage is not about findin the right person but is about being the right person.whatever you see about the guy that wldnt make it work,tell him.if he doesnt change,let him know d consequence.

It's so hard to break way from something you've really gotten involved in. One has to take drastic measures to move on.

@babymine
everyone is giving you a tip here and there based on what they know, or have experienced and stll you are of the opinion

It's so hard to break way from something you've really gotten involved in

Methinks you aren't readyy to break up!!

there are things u do trying not to look for trouble and it fuels it, u can sometimes decide u want u both to part peacefully u end up making worst enemy, but u need to know that a relationship that those not work out due to any unbearable reason is not worth remaining in,
the only advice i can give is to let ur feeling out after which if the other party persist then let ur hell out show lil'seriousness, good luck

@ Kimba

But that statement is so true. And one more thing, this topic isn't about me.

It is rather complicating and you are making it so hard for any opinion 2work, we go just dey argue till jesus comes. if the real circumstances and the real situation cannot be understood, its point less abi dem say na problem wey person understand person go fit solve now.

the question that you all have refused to ask is what made that relationship bad?

You see, i believe that the relationship was not bad at the beginning. So what makes is bad now? Why is it bad now? Do we like it to be BAd?

If the relationship was not bad and you loved each other as you say, then why dont you sit and find out what makes it bad and find a possible solution to it.

Love should be maintained at all times ( that is my belief). People in "bad" relationship should find the cause and settle things out.

wel,prayer is da key.n nt only dt,u ve u 2 let d other person knw wt u feel
abt him or her,if nt u wld b deceivin urself.

@ Ashiwaju

Not again.