I used to have a friend-with-benefits in my Uni days. And if thee's one thing I've come to learn, it's that women find it really difficult to separate their emotions from sex.

This 'friend' of mine in question - We had our first encounter during a cousin's birthday party. I had just been out of a relationship and just wanted to play around a little. So, during the party, we had a few glasses too many, and 'a few things went down'.
We woke up the morning after, completely mortified, but quickly accepted it anyway, and admitted being PHYSICALLY attracted to each other.
We kept meeting up at different places for sex, and I felt she was cool with the status of things.

Things only started taking a turn for the disturbingly weird when she started calling me regularly, every day of the week. Sometimes she'd call 6 times a day saying the same thing, "Well... Juss wanted to check up on you and, umm, you know, see how you're doing."
She started paying me visits, not just for sex, but just to "spend some time".
She started getting all touchy-feely, always wanting to cuddle, hold my hand while walking, sit on my lap and stroke my beard, text my phone like crazy, etc.

Mehn, all a brotha wanted was pusssy, not this crap.

I eventually started seeing someone for a 'proper' relationship, and she got quite angry and confrontational.

Long story short, it ended with me feeling guilty and drained.

Em... Op, do you mean friends with benefit or unrequited love?
They are two different things.

Yeah, its like waiting for your ship at the airport {sic}

Friends with benefits is a morally wrong concept. But, if u are willing to share ur body with ur "friend", be prepared for the worst case scenario eg unrequited L♥√ع, jealousy, anger and possible decapitation, from an obsessed "friend". Even well defined relationships grow sour nt to mention FWB. So, be extremely careful with the cookie jar

All I can say is FWB? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Can someone plz xplain better the meaning of 'friendz wit benefit'?

bibigirl07: Friends with benefits is a morally wrong concept. But, if u are willing to share ur body with ur "friend", be prepared for the worst case scenario eg unrequited L♥√ع, jealousy, anger and possible decapitation, from an obsessed "friend". Even well defined relationships grow sour nt to mention FWB. So, be extremely careful with the cookie jar

I do disagree with you on this opinion. Moral is not a universal concept and some people have experienced fantastic FWB relationships. Fact is that people involved in FWB relations have less reasons to feel jealous or angry compared to people in "SERIOUS" relations. However, just like you said, every relationship (no matter what good intentions of the participants) can grow sour.

so it's been established, FWB doesn't lead to anything serious, why then do people engage in it, knowing the consequence of such relationship?

secondly, it's the women who gets hurt cos of their inability to separate their emotions from the act, so i ask, why do the men lead them on?

I dnt even beleive in it.....

yes

1920MaMa: so it's been established, FWB doesn't lead to anything serious, why then do people engage in it, knowing the consequence of such relationship?

secondly, it's the women who gets hurt cos of their inability to separate their emotions from the act, so i ask, why do the men lead them on?

Friends with benefits is an 'arrangement' no one is 'led on' by definition, it is s@x for pleasure among friends just for fun.

Definitely not for the fainthearted and unsophisticated...to be honest you have to be an 'ashewo' or at an 'ashewo' point in your life to even try this.

ypzilanti:

Friends with benefits is an 'arrangement' no one is 'led on' by definition, it is s@x for pleasure among friends just for fun.

Definitely not for the fainthearted and unsophisticated...to be honest you have to be an 'ashewo' or at an 'ashewo' point in your life to even try this.

By ashewo I mean promiscious...not hooker on street 'ashewo'.

poster your topic does not relate to your thread .

you end it, the whole point of it is to be void of romantic feelings. figure out if that's what u want to continue with casual friends with benefits relationships or ones with more substance.

lanre_front: This thing does happen sometimes. Even to nice cultured girls. It happens under very peculiar situations. So don't say it can happen to u.

A pleasant likable handsome well-to-do nice guy who is good company. A pleasant likable beautiful well-to-do lady. For some reason, maybe they both don't want a serious relationship yet, and for some reasons, they are always running into each other.

Could be they have same group of friends or belong to the same church etc. I guess friends with benefit do comfort each other.

But that is they are both good people. As for ladies, if for some reason. You tempted get into something, try to see how it turns out, its important to make sure that guy is GOOD HUMAN BEING who has respect for people generally, otherwise you can get scarred. Some guys are really terrible. Stupid human beings. Some will may making fun of you behind ur back.

Does good comes out it? It depends on that person you hooked up with. If he is good guy, even if it don't lead into something serious, he will still care about u and be happy to help anyway in can in the future if need be. But if he is bad person. Then u might just end up getting one the most bitter experience of ur life.

Generally, its not advisable for ladies. Guys are naturally made to naturally flow with those kind of arrangement.

So as a lady, if feel like u wanna flow to, make sure its a guy with good head on his shoulders.

You have spoken well. For those who choose to engage in FwB, listen to Lanre.

However, in your best interest, either you stay single or you get into a relationship. Chances of it leading to something serious are low. Most times, it's so complicated that it ends up being more harmful than beneficial.

Ejiné: I used to have a friend-with-benefits in my Uni days. And if thee's one thing I've come to learn, it's that women find it really difficult to separate their emotions from sex.

This 'friend' of mine in question - We had our first encounter during a cousin's birthday party. I had just been out of a relationship and just wanted to play around a little. So, during the party, we had a few glasses too many, and 'a few things went down'.
We woke up the morning after, completely mortified, but quickly accepted it anyway, and admitted being PHYSICALLY attracted to each other.
We kept meeting up at different places for sex, and I felt she was cool with the status of things.

Things only started taking a turn for the disturbingly weird when she started calling me regularly, every day of the week. Sometimes she'd call 6 times a day saying the same thing, "Well... Juss wanted to check up on you and, umm, you know, see how you're doing."
She started paying me visits, not just for sex, but just to "spend some time".
She started getting all touchy-feely, always wanting to cuddle, hold my hand while walking, sit on my lap and stroke my beard, text my phone like crazy, etc.

Mehn, all a brotha wanted was pusssy, not this crap.

I eventually started seeing someone for a 'proper' relationship, and she got quite angry and confrontational.

Long story short, it ended with me feeling guilty and drained.

You are the guy lanre_front warns about in his post. Ladies if you are doing FWB, stay clear of Ejiné. lol. but I know pple who've done FWB and still cuddled bla bla bla. You are FRIENDS with benefits attached. What you wanted was a prostitute.

As a Christain it is wrong. Am also going to say men can engage in FWD relationships wit no strings attached but for a woman?? No way!! Infact guys, if u c a woman engaging in FWD wit no strings attached FEAR dat kind woman cos her heart don die too.in a nut shell, stop committing fornication dat is wot its called not FWB.

190-the-clown:
yes it leads to untimely pregnancy especially amongst Nigerian girls

. . .and then the Guy abandons her, and she posts on Nairaland seeking for help.

When two individual decides  eat wat they were suppose  eat secretly, openly, there is nothing good that will come out of it. When both A̶̲̥̅я̲̅é̸ attracted  each other just for sex reason, they will disengage also for sex reason. This is M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ simple logic  FWB

Only has lead to heartache for me.

Like it sounds like a good idea at first, but it is hard to not get attached to someone...and eventually want more.

Am sorry to say dis but i'll say d truth as far as d definition of FWB.s concerned. Ladies n guys of nowadays have made fornication n adultery so cheap n trivial dat one begins to doubt if its still a sin, sex is like a fire in a fire place, it keeps a house warm wen in marriage but once it gets out of marriage, everyone gets burnt. You all know dis shi t is wrong but you'll neva back off from it.
@op, get out of it ASAP n go back to God for mercy cos like begat like de say, wat you sow, you'll reap

Who dey online here,pls I nid deebee collabo contact ooo pls!!!

Sometimes it does leads to a permamnent relationship. Hv seen one

Friends with benefit is a good thing, it gives you all the pleasure of being in a relationship without the associated hassle of commitment. I meet her needs, she meets my needs, and both of us are happy. I wouldn't in my wildest dreams think of having her as a partner, and I personally don't care how she feels. She can opt out any day.

HQ:

. . .and then the Guy abandons her, and she posts on Nairaland seeking for help.

get creative and stop blabbing!

Truth is FWB (friends with benefit) is a myth, an urban legend. When a gurl allows u to explore her jerusalem, there is an exchange. Either u pay money or u show commitment to her. FWB exists only in foreign movies.:d

ypzilanti:

By ashewo I mean promiscious...not hooker on street 'ashewo'.

Not true; not true at all. A girl does not have to be promiscuous to be engaged in that.

Over time, I've at least seen a couple of such relationships and the girls involved were not in remotest sense promiscuous.

Mistake u guys are making, most of the times when u have FWB relationship, the girls do not go in with such specified intention in specific way or as a strategy. At a pont in time, it just becomes clear to them that is what's going on.

However they are some that go into it with such clear intention. And because a girl is doing FWB doesn't mean she will just suddenly lose all her values, class and taste because she'll probably be attracted or chose the guy based on those qualities.

FWB? Not for me! I'm too emotional for stuff like that.......

.

vivian chinaza: FWB? Not for me! I'm too emotional for stuff like that.......

^^
Can you u take another pics with a standing pose?

Thanks

crazygod: Truth is FWB (friends with benefit) is a myth, an urban legend. When a gurl allows u to explore her jerusalem, there is an exchange. Either u pay money or u show commitment to her. FWB exists only in foreign movies.:d

GBAM!!

nice4life:
^^
Can you u take another pics with a standing pose?

Thanks

No.