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My Mother Inlaw - Family (8) - Nairaland

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I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. / My Mother Inlaw Wants To Bath With Me / My Mother Inlaw Caught Me Kissing My Wife's Friend in our washroom. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 10:58pm On Dec 12, 2012
coogar:

which it makes it justified, right?
she's been so frustrated now means she should throw the food her husband is eating in the presence of her inlaw? wow - how great is that? may God save us from these naija women from kerosene/firewood backgrounds! attractive on the crust, rotten in the core!



why has it taken her so long to address this issue? anyway you wanna look at it, this woman is a bad wife. if my mum comes and she's making my wife miserable then i expect my wife to tell me her dissatisfaction then i can tell my mum to not to overstep her boundaries.

this wife kept bottling her emotions - suffering and smiling!!!
is that the moral her parents taught her? is that the principle the scriptures taught her? which of the holy books encourage a wife to disrespect her elders or even bottle up her emotions? no wonder there are more divorcees out there than singles.....



witch issues are fillers/sweeteners so that gullible people like yourself can empathise with the story-teller. witch stories in the 21st century! did she marry a stark illiterate? "poor me - my mother inlaw is driving me crazy, she's accused me of being a witch/whöre and jefferey dahmer's accomplice. she can fück right off with her heap of porkies!

Don't worry,after you marry,we will talk
It will make sense then
Re: My Mother Inlaw by coogar: 11:05pm On Dec 12, 2012
babyosisi:
Don't worry,after you marry,we will talk
It will make sense then

my spouse knows my boundaries and i know hers....we don't cross those lines regardless of how angry we both get at different times. if my inlaws misbehave, i would go straight to my spouse to sort them out and if my folks misbehave, i expect my spouse to come to me - not bottle up the anger and flip out like a stereotypical ADHD patient!
Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 11:08pm On Dec 12, 2012
baby_123:

grin grin grin grin grin

Especially the ones that marry men whose mums did alabaru to train them or toiled as a farm hand to send them to school. Which is very common with African's. Where exactly do you want mama to go if you marry a son from that kind of background? You also think you should get a free pass for disrespecting that kind of woman. Ok na. grin. Because you are auntie oni AC car, AC house and AC mouth. cheesy. Shes very lucky she didnt get assaulted. Most people, after God, it is their mothers o. Even my dad had great respect for my mum and taught us never to let anyone get away with insulting or disrespecting her. Same way he took his own mum. Dem no born my mama well to even talk back, not to talk of disrespecting his mum. She understood those boundaries and respected it. I wont take my husband disrespecting my mum, so i wont do the same.

When I was stressing why I cant allow my wife do such people didnt understand. This is my own case. For instance, I was not out after 9 months. I did not believe initially till I heard other people having saying they too are the same. Infact my last lecturer said he too is the same.

My mother raised me up without my father. when I grew to certain age, she narrated how she sold Ogogoro, yam etc just to feed I and my other siblings and at this point, she was traveling from one state to another. she later got blessed and had the opportunity of being a major supplier of building materials for the construction of Teslim Balogun stadium in the late 80s to early 90s before the project was later abandoned.

From there she tried has hands on other businesses, transpotation, publishing of note books etc. This are just the few that woman sacrificed for me and my siblings just for us to have a better life.

And how do you expect me to watch a woman abuse her in my presence? How? So unfortunate that she never lived long to eat the fruit of her labour.
Re: My Mother Inlaw by coogar: 11:13pm On Dec 12, 2012
2sexy:

When I was stressing why I cant allow my wife do such people didnt understand. This is my own case. For instance, I was not out after 9 months. I did not believe initially till I heard other people having saying they too are the same. Infact my last lecturer said he too is the same.

My mother raised me up without my father. when I grew to certain age, she narrated how she sold Ogogoro, yam etc just to feed I and my other siblings and at this point, she was traveling from one state to another. she later got blessed and had the opportunity of being a major supplier of building materials for the construction of Teslim Balogun stadium in the late 80s to early 90s before the project was later abandoned.

From there she tried has hands on other businesses, transpotation, publishing of note books etc. This are just the few that woman sacrificed for me and my siblings just for us to have a better life.


And how do you expect me to watch a woman abuse her in my presence? How? So unfortunate that she never lived long to eat the fruit of her labour.


if you act up then you are satan manifested in the flesh.....if you stand by and watch your mum get insulted by your wife then you are a "real man".
Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 11:20pm On Dec 12, 2012
coogar:

if you act up then you are satan manifested in the flesh.....if you stand by and watch your mum get insulted by your wife then you are a "real man".
ha ha ha ha... you mean the opposite... cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Kobojunkie: 11:23pm On Dec 12, 2012
2sexy:
And how do you expect me to watch a woman abuse her in my presence? How? So unfortunate that she never lived long to eat the fruit of her labour.


Just one question! It is that it is OK for you to watch your mother abuse, disrespect and humiliate, another woman whom you supposedly love (just wondering is you married her to be pin-cushion for your mother's insults and venom) in her own house(I am assuming here that you know that once you are married, your house becomes your wife's as well),but it is not Ok for that women who has endured much abuse from your mother, on your behalf, to retaliate?

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 11:25pm On Dec 12, 2012
I really don't get all these sentiments. My mama this, my mama that, she toiled for me bla bla. Who on earth was supposed to do that in the first place? Did you ask to be born?

2 Likes

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Kobojunkie: 11:27pm On Dec 12, 2012
stillwater: I really don't get all these sentiments. My mama this, my mama that, she toiled for me bla bla. Who on earth was supposed to do that in the first place? Did you ask to be born?

YOU ARE SO GOOD . . I remember the day I asked my mum that question . . . she immediately proceeded to cast the devil that asked that question out of me . . .chasing me around the apartment in the process!!



Abi now . . na jeje I dey where I dey dey enjoy for baby heaven oo . . , minding my own bizness. Na she come decide say she go pull me out of my enjoyment from baby heaven into this world. Na my fault??

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Re: My Mother Inlaw by coogar: 11:33pm On Dec 12, 2012
stillwater: I really don't get all these sentiments. My mama this, my mama that, she toiled for me bla bla. Who on earth was supposed to do that in the first place? Did you ask to be born?

when you see other women like you abandoned by the refuse dump, raised by drug fiends or worse(raised by the system) then you would appreciate what your mother has done for you. if those area boys/prostïtutes in lagos had the kind of mother you have, they would be in havard or oxford studying rocket science.......
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 11:33pm On Dec 12, 2012
Kobojunkie:

YOU ARE SO GOOD . . I remember the day I asked my mum that question . . . she immediately proceeded to cast the devil that asked that question out of me . . .chasing me around the apartment in the process!!



Abi now . . na jeje I dey where I dey, na she come decide say she go pull me down from baby heaven into this world. Na my fault??

Lolll. I can imagine.

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 11:38pm On Dec 12, 2012
coogar: S

when you see other women like you abandoned by the refuse dump, raised by drug fiends or worse(raised by the system) then you would appreciate what your mother has done for you. if those area boys in lagos had the kind of mother you have, they would be in havard or oxford studying rocket science.......

Abeggi, fathers have also done a lot (I will always love my daddddyyyyyyy cool), and we don't hear them making noise or overstepping their boundaries in another man's house. Mothers should have respect for themselves. There is no way I will support uncouth behavior from the older one who ought to know better than constituting herself as a public nuisance. I don't do sentiments like you buttered my bread, you sugared my tea, so that gives you the right to act like a witch? Rubbish

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Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 11:47pm On Dec 12, 2012
stillwater: I really don't get all these sentiments. My mama this, my mama that, she toiled for me bla bla. Who on earth was supposed to do that in the first place? Did you ask to be born?
I dont want to this to turn into something else please... I dont know what your mother did for you. I have my personal reasons why I wont take such from a woman.

It does not mean I wont love my wife. I just wont take it from her to insult my mum in my absence or presence because I can NEVER do the same to hers. I know how to respect my elders. EVEN when they offend me, I know what to say and what not say.

If what I say aches you, leave it at that... please.
Re: My Mother Inlaw by coogar: 11:52pm On Dec 12, 2012
stillwater:

Abeggi, fathers have also done a lot (I will always love my daddddyyyyyyy cool), and we don't hear them making noise or overstepping their boundaries in another man's house.

and this is because husbands respect their father inlaws - there's no jealousy at all between men cos they understand each other more and there's no reason to be envious. i doubt any husband would flip out because his father inlaw is cooking for the daughter....men don't just behave irrationally and irresponsibly like the hormonally- fraudulent beings called women!


Mothers should have respect for themselves. There is no way I will support uncouth behavior from the older one who ought to know better than constituting herself as a public nuisance. I don't do sentiments like you buttered my bread, you sugared my tea, so that gives you the right to act like a witch? Rubbish

spare me this rubbish!
would you ask your mother out of your house if she errs? what then gives you the right to ask another woman out of the house because you cannot stand him? yet without her, you wouldn't have the man to marry in the first place. women want respect from the men folk and yet they canno't respect fellow women - shame on y'all!
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 11:53pm On Dec 12, 2012
2sexy: I dont want to this to turn into something else please... I dont know what your mother did for you. I have my personal reasons why I wont take such from a woman.

It does not mean I wont love my wife. I just wont take it from her to insult my mum in my absence or presence because I can NEVER do the same to hers. I know how to respect my elders. EVEN when they offend me, I know what to say and what not say.

If what I say aches you, leave it at that... please.

For me rationality would rule over sentiments. cheesy My mum taught me well enough to know respect is reciprocal. grin If you want to be respected, act well. These wise words from my mum have kept me till date. I don't get disrespected because I act right. These are the same words I would tell my mum if she were the one in the story.

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 11:56pm On Dec 12, 2012
@coogar

Do FILs go around trying to assert their authority or making snide remarks in another man's house? Nonsense
Continue crying for poor mummy, if the mama has respect she wont find herself in this situation. grin

2 Likes

Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 11:58pm On Dec 12, 2012
Kobojunkie:

Just one question! It is that it is OK for you to watch your mother abuse, disrespect and humiliate, another woman whom you supposedly love (just wondering is you married her to be pin-cushion for your mother's insults and venom) in her own house(I am assuming here that you know that once you are married, your house becomes your wife's as well),but it is not Ok for that women who has endured much abuse from your mother, on your behalf, to retaliate?
I get your point but knowing the kind of mother i had while she was alive, I dont see her doing any of those things you mention. Nah... though she is the very protective type for her children, mostly the men since she saw what a woman turned her first son into.

So, whatever stance I take, I have my reasons. HER MANNERS are her ONLY GUARANTEE in my house. That is me and how I have chosen to live my life.

I repeat again, I dont even have any problem with her throwing the food away. At least I could tolerate that BUT telling my mother to leave my house is NOT acceptable. I don't even care what you see me as. It does not mean I dont or wont love my wife. RESPECT is the watch word here and ther limits to certain things in life.
Re: My Mother Inlaw by baby124: 12:00am On Dec 13, 2012
Still on this story....

Well from the conclusion of the story, we see the OP fell on her face with her actions

And she will have to endure mama as a result for an undisclosed amount of time, after she had to BEG for FORGIVENESS to keep her home.

And to ADMIT that she made a MISTAKE and came across as UNCOUTH, and lacking ADEQUATE UPBRINGING

Lesson learned for who ever wants to keep their home. Now, maybe the thread can die.

Argue all we want, the story and end result changeth not. grin grin grin cheesy

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Re: My Mother Inlaw by Kobojunkie: 12:06am On Dec 13, 2012
2sexy: I get your point but knowing the kind of mother i had while she was alive, I dont see her doing any of those things you mention. Nah... though she is the very protective type for her children, mostly the men since she saw what a woman turned her first son into.

So, whatever stance I take, I have my reasons. HER MANNERS are her ONLY GUARANTEE in my house. That is me and how I have chosen to live my life.

I repeat again, I dont even have any problem with her throwing the food away. At least I could tolerate that BUT telling my mother to leave my house is NOT acceptable. I don't even care what you see me as. It does not mean I dont or wont love my wife. RESPECT is the watch word here and ther limits to certain things in life.


By asking that question, I was simply trying to get you to HONESTLY tell us what you would do if this where you since you have been commenting on this issue as if you UNDERSTAND what this is about.

We are talking here of a woman you consider your wife(you already married her so I don't know what manners and her own guarantee mean UNLESS you don't even consider the woman you choose to marry or are married to, to be worth much else. If you do not like her manners is that a good enough reason why your mother should come in to insult her? Is that where this is going?

Anywho, please indulge, what will you do.
Kobojunkie:
Just one question! It is that it is OK for you to watch your mother abuse, disrespect and humiliate, another woman whom you supposedly love (just wondering is you married her to be pin-cushion for your mother's insults and venom) in her own house(I am assuming here that you know that once you are married, your house becomes your wife's as well),but it is not Ok for that women who has endured much abuse from your mother, on your behalf, to retaliate?

Tell us the reason why you would do what you will etc.
Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 12:08am On Dec 13, 2012
stillwater:

For me rationality would rule over sentiments. cheesy My mum taught me well enough to know respect is reciprocal. grin If you want to be respected, act well. These wise words from my mum have kept me till date. I don't get disrespected because I act right. These are the same words I would tell my mum if she were the one in the story.
You may choose to call it sentiments but I call it respect.
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Kobojunkie: 12:13am On Dec 13, 2012
2sexy: You may choose to call it sentiments but I call it respect.

How can the word RESPECT be used to refer to a situation where one human being is UNJUSTLY subjected to insults and humiliation from another? undecided undecided undecided undecided

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by coogar: 12:14am On Dec 13, 2012
stillwater: @coogar
Do FILs go around trying to assert their authority or making snide remarks in another man's house? Nonsense

of course they do - fathers in law are even worse......but the husbands can take it cos there are no deeper issues involved. anyways, i trust my mother sha - she's straight old school. that wife would kiss her clenched fist the moment she threw my food away and it would be me trying to haul her off my wife while she sits on her with her fat bottom!



Continue crying for poor mummy, if the mama has respect she wont find herself in this situation. grin

and if the wife respects her husband, she won't lash out!
it simply means wifey has anger management issues that need to be sorted out! a woman that does not respect me is not worth it. even if my mum does not reply her with a befitting slap, i would. after all, they say it's not real love if the cops are not called with one of us handcuffed and thrown into a police van. grin
Re: My Mother Inlaw by ferhyntorlah(f): 12:17am On Dec 13, 2012
2sexy: You may choose to call it sentiments but I call it respect.

Guy, you no wan sleep?
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 12:18am On Dec 13, 2012
coogar:

of course they do - fathers in law are even worse......but the husbands can take it cos there are no deeper issues involved. anyways, i trust my mother sha - she's straight old school. that wife would kiss her clenched fist the moment she threw my food away and it would be me trying to haul her off my wife while she sits on her with her fat bottom!




and if the wife respects her husband, she won't lash out!
it simply means wifey has anger management issues that need to be sorted out! a woman that does not respect me is not worth it. even if my mum does not reply her with a befitting slap, i would. after all, they say it's not real love if the cops are not called with one of us handcuffed and thrown into a police van. grin


grin shocked shocked shocked

Did you say you were married?
Under the same roof abi na long distance marriage aka marriage by osmosis
Na wa

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 12:22am On Dec 13, 2012
Tiana155: Thank you all for your response, both the good, the bad and the ugly comments. The problem has been resolved thanks to my wonderful hubby, there is a sayin 'we disagree to agree' we are all at peace in my home now, my mil she is still with us and will leave anytime she wants. For those judging me you are all no better than i am. To madam Cc, jd, coogar, mac those who gave constructive advice thank you I'm sorry. i'm not crazy or a bad woman as some people said here, my mil said you are good when you make mistake and correct it yourself 'cos that what life is about. Cheers.

I almost missed this
Good job! You are a good woman
You have a good man too
Take care
Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 12:27am On Dec 13, 2012
ferhyntorlah:

Guy, you no wan sleep?
How far? I sleep late but wake early... weird!
Re: My Mother Inlaw by ferhyntorlah(f): 12:30am On Dec 13, 2012
2sexy: How far? I sleep late but wake early... weird!

I dey oh. Men! You are something else; I understand your POV. As per your sleeping pattern, you're a wierdo!
Re: My Mother Inlaw by coogar: 12:35am On Dec 13, 2012
Tiana155: Thank you all for your response, both the good, the bad and the ugly comments. The problem has been resolved thanks to my wonderful hubby, there is a sayin 'we disagree to agree' we are all at peace in my home now, my mil she is still with us and will leave anytime she wants. For those judging me you are all no better than i am. To madam Cc, jd, coogar, mac those who gave constructive advice thank you I'm sorry. i'm not crazy or a bad woman as some people said here, my mil said you are good when you make mistake and correct it yourself 'cos that what life is about. Cheers.

apologies accepted!
go now and sin no more.....
Re: My Mother Inlaw by 2sexy(m): 12:41am On Dec 13, 2012
Kobojunkie:

How can the word RESPECT be used to refer to a situation where one human being is UNJUSTLY subjected to insults and humiliation from another? undecided undecided undecided undecided
As far I am concerned, I dont see how telling someone that she does not cook well or take care of the son well or manage money and insult or humiliation. With the kind of women in this current generation some are lacking in those aspect if you ask me and did she say the MIL was shouting at her? NO Did the MIL hit her with a stick while telling her those words? NO. she probably said so politely and wanting her to be a better wife.

Me no fit chop potty... that is just me.

You dont get me... Where I have a problem is where the OP said the MIL should leave her house.

Would you throw your mother out?
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 12:46am On Dec 13, 2012
2sexy: As far I am concerned, I dont see how telling someone that she does not cook well or take care of the son well or manage money and insult or humiliation. With the kind of women in this current generation some are lacking in those aspect if you ask me and did she say the MIL was shouting at her? NO Did the MIL hit her with a stick while telling her those words? NO. she probably said so politely and wanting her to be a better wife.

Me no fit chop potty... that is just me.

You dont get me... Where I have a problem is where the OP said the MIL should leave her house.

Would you throw your mother out?

I know you asked someone else this question but if my mother came to my house and criticized my husband in his presence accusing him of being a bad husband or father or lacking in money making skills and husband duties and makes life unbearable for my husband and straining my marriage and would not listen or change her ways,yes I will send her packing and I expect my husband to do same if his mother is being the same way.

If my father even hears that my husband and I or any of their other kids had an argument on account of her visit,he will command her to return home immediately rather than hear that a son in law or DIL insulted his dear wife.


Thank God my parents are very independent of their kids,we have to beg them to come spend time with us sef
So this will never be my portion by Gods grace



I know we all agree elders should be respected but those elders ought to behave themselves too and know their limits

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Kobojunkie: 12:48am On Dec 13, 2012
2sexy: As far I am concerned, I dont see how telling someone that she does not cook well or take care of the son well or manage money and insult or humiliation. With the kind of women in this current generation some are lacking in those aspect if you ask me and did she say the MIL was shouting at her? NO Did the MIL hit her with a stick while telling her those words? NO. she probably said so politely and wanting her to be a better wife.

I pity the woman who is married to you or is to marry you. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 1:06am On Dec 13, 2012
coogar:

of course they do - fathers in law are even worse......but the husbands can take it cos there are no deeper issues involved. anyways, i trust my mother sha - she's straight old school. that wife would kiss her clenched fist the moment she threw my food away and it would be me trying to haul her off my wife while she sits on her with her fat bottom!

and if the wife respects her husband, she won't lash out!
it simply means wifey has anger management issues that need to be sorted out! a woman that does not respect me is not worth it. even if my mum does not reply her with a befitting slap, i would. after all, they say it's not real love if the cops are not called with one of us handcuffed and thrown into a police van. grin

So how do we deal with anger issues? Is it not by dealing with the source of the anger, which is Mama. grin
Now you are just taking the piss comparing FILs to MILs just for argument sake.
Re: My Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 1:08am On Dec 13, 2012
babyosisi:

I know you asked someone else this question but if my mother came to my house and criticized my husband in his presence accusing him of being a bad husband or father or lacking in money making skills and husband duties and makes life unbearable for my husband and straining my marriage and would not listen or change her ways,yes I will send her packing and I expect my husband to do same if his mother is being the same way.

If my father even hears that my husband and I or any of their other kids had an argument on account of her visit,he will command her to return home immediately rather than hear that a son in law or DIL insulted his dear wife.


Thank God my parents are very independent of their kids,we have to beg them to come spend time with us sef
So this will never be my portion by Gods grace



I know we all agree elders should be respected but those elders ought to behave themselves too and know their limits

Same thing my dad would say and do.

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