Please is it just me worried about this or is it a normal thing? Why do some girls call a guy as if calling will go out of fashion soon. Most Saturdays, my male cousins come over to watch league matches or i go over to their place. I have noticed sadly that some girls will keep calling and calling and the guys wont pick, they will even be betting among themselves how many times the girl will call.
Last week one girl beat the record by calling 54 times on both lines. Yesterday, my cousin came with his friend and his chick called 24 times on both phones and sent like six SMS.
It was not my business but i had to ask them why they wont pick and put the girls out of their misery, they said that they just want to have some time for themselves some weekends.
My problem is why someone ould keep calling somebody so many times, If i call someone twice and he does not pick, I assume he/she is busy and will call me when he is free, which usually happens, I am trying to understand hat someone will hope to achieve by calling so many times, lets have some pride for Gods sake, The only thing calling so much does to a girls reputation is that it makes her look desperate and makes her a laughing stuff and butt of jokes.
I know this is not my business and my cousins and their friends are probably stupid but Sisters, please. lets have some pride.

It is a phase dear aisha2.  It will soon pass.  It is definitely desperation from low self esteem.  Love is free--if you have to be humiliated to achieve love, you will definitely be humiliated out of what you thought was love.  Love is free spirited and involves reciprocity.  What you have described above is outright stupidity. I can understand if you are fighting to call a runaway spouse you have like 10 children for. Tryin to track him down to come and pay his kiddies school fees. Then you have girls here burning credit for a chance to sleep on a mat with a probably unemployed dude still living with his parents--and they are probably spending their money on.   Not saying that is how your cousins are oh.  But most girls will stoop that low.

Well, it definitely has to do with upbringing.  My father always made me feel special so that I often called guys bluff at the slightest disinterest.  Because I had been with a man who loved and respected me as a child.  I never had to beg for ANY man's love--in this ma life. The reason a went to school and stayed in school too. If you wan do fine, if you no wan do abeg take taxi money dey go house.  Is it by force?   But when you have a polygamous home--most of the time, with generational timid women "scrambling and partitioning" for a man's attention in front of their eyes--they can only repeat what they have lived with. "Swap Meat" a say!

So please just remember them in your prayers.  That is all you can do.  Till they become born again and take a break from it all to "re-group" the pieces of their fragmented psyches!

Pitiful!----

Because of ***K! A cheap one for that marrrrer.  I can understand if it were Bill Gates's sons!

My sister, E dey pain me, The guys even have their names stored as Desperado 1, Desperado 2. Its really sad. What is your is yours and what will be will be, you are too special to hustle for anything.

Eyyah, now that is what i call desperation, 54 times? Chaii! Like you said, the most i'd call a boy is twice, if he dont pick up then he must be busy abi. Jeez, i can't get over that whole 54 times thing, has she no shame? and you know most boys would be taking the piss out of the girl, wowee wow wow

aisha2:

My sister, E dey pain me, The guys even have their names stored as Desperado 1, Desperado 2. Its really sad. What is your is yours and what will be will be, you are too special to hustle for anything.

A say leave them. When dem don terminate lak 10 pregnancies in like 4 years--or end up dead on one chemist's "joko" or catch "the big one"--they will see Jisos by force. No let am pain you abeg.

No wahala na. Who teach you and me?

make una no dey talk like this, love no get eye, if you see person wey you like your natural stupidity go come show eself, you no dey feel me. i bow for you oo. you don see where two womwen dey fight because of one man, you don see where three men dey kill eachj other because of one woman, that stupidity dey for everyboby body, pray make u no see who go bring am out, otherwise e must com out. i don talk my own .

Dear Aisha2, I've experienced too many irritating disturbances from ladies before. The reason why those ladies mount pressure on guys vary from one person to the other. It may be the way those guys make them feel when they are around them, it may be sign of low self-esteem like almondjoy said, it could even be as a result of in ordinate desire for what they can get from those guys. For some babes, it is simply that old age is gawking at them in the face.
There are some guys who are experts in treating a lady as a real queen with no-strings-attached kind of mindset. And if a lady has not received such treatment before from anywhere she wont like to let go.

One of the strongest 'disturbers' of my life was a girl who gave me her room to pass the nyte when I was stranded in a certain Edo town where I went to visit an aunty. To my surprise, she wanted me to chop her in the middle of the nyte. I firmly refused and it was morning. She swore to herself to marry me by all means. She said she didnt know such guys exist.

It is always better love grows in 2 persons at the same time. However if its one person that develops the love but the other person doesnt seem to regard it, then after a time, it is better to murder such love or else u loose ur DIGNITY.

@ Alert EFCC,
I understand what you are saying but common sense should tell you that if you call someone once or twice and he doesnt pick, he may be indisposed at the time and would probably call back when he is free. What in Heavens name do you hope to acheive when you keep calling. Thats what i dont understand

sometimes its fear. . .

my wife's junior brother passed away in his sleep three years ago( no illness, no nothing, he just passed on)

madams acuaintance with the transcience of life has made her a little scared when i don't pick my calls, esp when i'm outside lag.

oyb:

sometimes its fear. . .

my wife's junior brother passed away in his sleep three years ago( no illness, no nothing, he just passed on)

madams acuaintance with the transcience of life has made her a little scared when i don't pick my calls, esp when i'm outside lag.

very sorry to hear that, hope your wife is ok now

@Oyb,
Its been long since that happened but it pains to hear that. My regards to your wife. No evil shall touch any1 connected to you again in Jesus' name.

Oyb, sorry for your loss. In your case its your wife, she can call as many times as she wants. She will need to get over that kind of fear sha, its not healthy.

thank you all,

@ aisha2, u 're right, thats what i try 2 tell her. . .

Is that so??.Common girls Start calling me now.08067446844, to prove Aisha right i might not pick (lol)

I think a point or two is missing on this topic. Or maybe an exception. It is not fair to criminise such girls until one know the background of their desperation. I am of view that exception abounds.

For instance, when she is with the gal, what kind of discussion do they have when they are together? What is the level of their relationship? Are they dating or just friends?

And on this call thing. Is it "calling" or "flashing"? There is a wide gap between the two.

So, being objective makes one realize what is at stake.

Men and women has a difference definition of desperation. I have noticed however, that in most cases, the word is used out of context. At times, it is wrongly applied.

I strongly believe this is desperation by calling 54 times disturbances!!!

Yeah 54 times is a disturbance. If fact, a bad habit even if they are married and in long distance. But, I still want to believe that something must have transpired in the dark to warrant that frequency.

Olanajim, Whatever transpired, calling someone up to ten times at onc sends out wrong signals, Forget anything, if i call someone twice at most three times and he does not pick, I let it lie and believe he will call back or if we are quareeling, he does not want to talk to me. Simple, I stop calling, wait for yu to calm down and call me, I save my redit and whats left of my pride

father ab:

Dear Aisha2,


For some babes, it is simply that old age is gawking at them in the face.
There are some guys who are experts in treating a lady as a real queen with no-strings-attached kind of mindset. And if a lady has not received such treatment before from anywhere she wont like to let go.

One of the strongest 'disturbers' of my life was a girl who gave me her room to pass the nyte when I was stranded in a certain Edo town where I went to visit an aunty. To my surprise, she wanted me to chop her in the middle of the nyte. I firmly refused and it was morning. She swore to herself to marry me by all means.

She said she didnt know such guys exist.

It is always better love grows in 2 persons at the same time. However if its one person that develops the love but the other person doesnt seem to regard it, then after a time, it is better to murder such love or else u loose your DIGNITY.

Inna-res-ting!

So it has got to the stage in Nigeria where women will want to "chop" men in the middle of the night, they have only met for the first time even as "stranded" guests?   Now that is what a call women's liberation in the true sense of the word.  And some say the western world is the next best thing to Sodom and Gomorrah.

Oh yeah?   I thought only men had those privileges?  That girl that gave you her room was definitely a ritualist.  Only God knows how many body parts you would have found missing the next morning.  Or better still, you would have woken up 40 years later after roaming in the spiritual wilderness, to discover you were married to the lady with like 8 kids without any blessed memory! --Like some Nigerian Movies show us. Your family would have long declared you dead and buried--God forbid. Only to find out you have been jazzed by one babe in Edo state there--don't even want to know the tribe.  Make e no be from Agenegbode ooooooooooooooooooh!

Kai!  Women are so desperate these days oh.  Please, no matter how old or ugly a woman is, I don't think she should constitute a "pestilence" to the male gender all in a desperate attempt to snag a spouse by hook or by crook.  Like you said, it all has to do with DIGNITY! Of course I have always realized that some girls or women cannot even spell the word  when it comes to irritating men with their rubbish!

If there is anything I cannot stand is begging! It is one thing to apologize when you are wrong but begging for love? May God forbid. Especially when it is obvious the guys are having a good time at ma expense. I say God forbid!

54 times abi na wetin? i zon embarrass sef.

Desperado 1
Desperado 2

Men O men!
Mugu 1
Mugu 2
Mugu Alhaji
Mugu Sexy

Pride o pride girls. . . save ya dignity!

Aisha2,
the lady must get money sha o. I wonder all this talking talking talking on phone. I am happy I am not a phone type. Anyway, the lady want the guy to know that she can die for him. And the the guy is her oxygen. The sugar in her coffee.

That is it. The guy should keep picking the call na. That would make her happy.

What happened when guys do that? Is that also desperation?

Apart from love, you know there are other reasons ladies call. I hope it isn't one of such reasons I had in mind.

Ola, any body that calls me more than ten times better have some emergency to tell me. If you are just calling me to say i love you or to check if am cheating on you, then be prepared for some strong words.
Sorry to say but if a human being is the air you breath then prepare to die

@aisha2
I beg tell them! I support the statement that it's low self esteem to keep pestering a guy wit calls like dat. Wen d guy was toasting u dey form now wen e don enter u come dey do like say u no get sense again.
Girls get right keep it tight!

Aisha2
it is good to hear that. But wait, did you said 10 times a day? That is still too much.

If it has got to an extent where we have to "confirm" our partners' faithfulness on phone, then, trouble looms. What amases me is people who see one another daily and still call up to 5 times. I have a friend who wife call up to 5 times daily even though they sleep and wake up together in the same room.

As for those who don't see face to face, it is grace. A cheating man would cheat even in your bedroom. So that "oxygen and sugar" love have short lifespan.

At the begining of the relationship, maybe, it is down to FEAR OF LOSING out. But, for one who have made it clear you are not wanted, it is DESPERATION. While if it happen during the relation, it may be JEALOUSY, or INSECURITY. If it is during marriage, then it spells TROUBLE. A nagging wife is hidding behind the curtain of love.

@ Olanajim

who says you are the best man in 9ja? Let me be the judge of that please!!!

AISHA B4 I JUDGE I HAVE A QUESTION FOR U. wat wa sthe relationship between the bois and the gurls?

i mean personally if im dating the guy we are already passed the shakara stge. ifi can call lik two times if he doesnt pik ill know he isnt dere but i can keep calling evn though i know hes not ther just for fun not necessarilly cos i want to evn talk self.but 54 is actually too much sha.

if its a really close frnd ive known vever i might call like hundred times esp whn i knw he doesnt want to talk to me just to annoy him , but there theres no question of pride cos u have a strictly platonic relationship. if he likes he should store me ass pain in the ass thats hes own problem.

but if u just met the guy: im thinking wat is ure bizness with calling him

but if uve met him, gone out together, hes toasting u he likes u, u just started really liking him, uve made out a couple of times, u might want to call him 247 trust me! but thats when u shouldnt be calling at all so he doesnt know ure whipped.

so tell me which stage? i cant help thinking its one of the last two stages because u wont store ure gurlfrind as desperado 1 and 2 surely it has to be a random girl riight?

Like someone said you have to kw the 2 sides of the story because there could be different reasons:

>Maybe he promised the lady some money and she's calling to find out when she should
come and collect the money
>Maybe he is meant to go her her place and he's not turned up and she wants to find out
why he's not there yet
>Maybe she had done somethin wrong and she was tryin to apologise
>Maybe he owes her money and she's tryin to collect her money

there are so many reason y the chick might b buzzin his phone but callin 54 time is too much,
but thats not the worst i've seen. A chick called my younger bro 102 time between 7.30pm and 10pm.

@Waterworks, am not trying to judge anyone am just giving my oppinion,
The girls were obviously their girlfriends, I was not happy with my cousins for playing with the Lady(ies) emotions and i let them know. However the point here is that if you are in a relationship, you should be secured enough to know that if you call your boyfriend and he doesnt pick he will call you back. But calling him lots of times and sending SMS that will be asking why he is not picking youir calls sends out a message that you may be desperate.
This is my personal oppinon oh but I think Calling and calling shows a lack of self esteem, it makes a girl look absolutely jobless and clingy.
Sometimes I call my Boyfriend and he doesnt pick and probably doesnt call till late night or the next day and vise versa, but i really don't stress my head about that simply because i have my life and he has his, What is mine is mine and what will be ill be. Life is simple and has so many things to offer, Why waste my time worring my head over what someone else is doing?

aisha2:

The girls were obviously their girlfriends

Pls do u mean his proper babe, because i still doubt these girls are their main babes.

@Tboy1,
In the case of the my cousins friend who was getting called on Saturday, he said she was his main chick but that she was too clingy and he is sure she wants to come over to his place and she will not beleive him if he told her he wanted to watch the game and hang out with his friends.
In my cousins case he said she is someone he met who wants to get married.
I was mad at them because as a girl i wouldnt want to have my feelings toyed with too, but i saw a little sense in what they were saying, the girls are trying too hard

54 times??   o ga o!

that's y the guy is tired now. before he says jump, she's diving off - wont even bother to ask how high.

it's a clear sign that she has nothing left to keep him with her. he's using her as free chop/cook/cleaner/housemaid/general errand girl and he knows she'll happily be used. chei! it definitely has to be major self-esteem/ insecurity problems, because for me, dem never born that man!

who knows how much using she can take before she sharps up

@poster

ur cousins and friends are definitely not gentlemen. they need to think about you when mistreating other females, cos it could've been anyone's sis