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Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? - Romance (28) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by pleep(m): 5:48pm On Sep 15, 2013
filani: First posted on this thread ages ago, judging by majority of male posters response I'm so glad that a number of us guys have decided to wise up.

Stay focused on your academics/career, make that paper and all the trappings that come with it and the world will be your oyster.

The truth of the matter is that most of the BS we guys go through in relationships is not because we have to but because WE ALLOW IT !!!

Who decided that men/guys are to be the ones perpetually doing the chasing?
Who decided that a girls time , energy, emotions is worth more than mine as a guy?
Who decided that because the letter of the bible says "He that findeth a wife..." Automatically means that I as a Good Man am not worthy of being 'found' by a discerning woman as well?
P.S
I said 'Woman' not little girls claiming woman.

Albert Einstein said 'The definition of INSANITY is doing the same action, in exactly the same way over and over again and honestly believing you will get a different result !!!'

If we guys want to be taken seriously in relationships, we cannot afford to come to the table with a beggarly mindset and think that we will be treated rightly.
As a guy by all means be respectful to the girl in your life but make it very clear to her from the onset that love,respect, chasing/wooing is a Two way street.
Don't allow any girl to demand from you what she herself can't or won't give back to you!!!
Round of applause!
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by slimdick(m): 6:10pm On Sep 15, 2013
ChopUrMoni: w[b]e've wooed to the point that we've been embarrassed, made vague and lugubrious expenses with nothing to show for it.[/b]



I'm sorry to hear thissad but trust me NOT all girls are like this. Don't let them girls change ur actions otherwise they would spoil it for girls like ussmiley
Well, in my own opinion, I don't think I need all other girls as I can focus on one person at a time if I am truly in love. I just have to know when to let go because in loving another, u must have love yourself well enough to let go of the one (who seem insensitive to accept and appreciate the love) you have decided and chose to love. Being this insensitive, is common among 8 out of every 10 ladies.
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 5:58am On Sep 16, 2013
2buff:
Smart Men have better things to do with their time than be abused by someone who for all they know has had 26 abortions. Back in the day, women were more guarded and you were sure you would be getting the following:

- A virgin
- A woman that respects you enough to kneel when she serves your food
- Many other things I don't see with the women of this generation
these women still exist only problem is they are the same women u guys tend to degrade (because you have become more exposed to certain things) and you would give a second look at smiley
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 6:00am On Sep 16, 2013
FXKing2012:

hmnnnnn......
its true
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 8:44am On Sep 16, 2013
mondi_cheeks: these women still exist only problem is they are the same women u guys tend to degrade (because you have become more exposed to certain things) and you would give a second look at smiley

We degrade ladies that've decided to dorn the 'agbero' personality, ladies that tend to capitalize on the fact that u two are dating so she's got her problems prolly solved, ladies that only look forward to having their ar$es clamped to a housewife position other than been identified as a Msc holder - We degrade them!

Speaking of things we've been exposed to, what could they be?

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Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 1:51pm On Sep 16, 2013
El Guapo:


Speaking of things we've been exposed to, what could they be?
this particular part was directed to 2buff smiley
I doubt not having tetiary education is a reason to degrading someone, if u look at your mother and her generation it probably has a few of them who had the privelege of reaching college or university yet they still managed to raise their own children to become something in life. Some of the NL guys scream about how they aren't anymore women who are wife material like their mothers. when the same person comes across a woman who is probably just as uneducated as his own mother but humble and loyal he degrades her
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Sagamite(m): 1:55pm On Sep 16, 2013
El Guapo:

We degrade ladies that've decided to dorn the 'agbero' personality, ladies that tend to capitalize on the fact that u two are dating so she's got her problems prolly solved, ladies that only look forward to having their ar$es clamped to a housewife position other than been identified as a Msc holder - We degrade them!

Speaking of things we've been exposed to, what could they be?

What is wrong with being a housewife?

Why does the quality of a woman rest on her having a degree, even more ridiculously an MSc?

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Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 5:43pm On Sep 16, 2013
Sagamite: What is wrong with being a housewife?


Its as abysmal as hell when a young lady that should be in college begins to think of it already.

Dont tell me u wouldnt be utterly gutted when ur 17yr old daughter sounds it out loud she would love getting married soon?


Sagamite: Why does the quality of a woman rest on her having a degree, even more ridiculously an MSc?

Grabbing a Msc degree was a mere axiom i raised.

I was trying to create a picture of how best a lady would be considered successful, Heck! It doesnt necessarily have to end at grabbing a Msc, a BSC/HND degree holder that've got a good job is an upgrade too.

I dont know about ur views but i'm not a fan of 'housewives'. Every lady that've got the chance in this century to read n' write should give it her all without the thoughts of marriage already.

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Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Sagamite(m): 5:53pm On Sep 16, 2013
El Guapo:
Its as abysmal as hell when a young lady that should be in college begins to think of it already.

Dont tell me u wouldnt be utterly gutted when ur 17yr old daughter sounds it out loud she would love getting married soon?

I would actually not be gutted. I would be more shocked she is not trying to play the field and exploit her powers before settling down.

I would wonder how many Mills & Boons she read while growing up or what fundamentalist religious movement she was nurtured in to be thinking about marriage that early.

I would always advocate educational self-development for any girl though so she can always stand on her own two feet.

But that is not a show-stopper for me ending up with a girl.


El Guapo:
Grabbing a Msc degree was a mere axiom i raised.

I was trying to create a picture of how best a lady would be considered successful, Heck! It doesnt necessarily have to end at grabbing a Msc, a BSC/HND degree holder that've got a good job is an upgrade too.

I dont know about ur views but i'm not a fan of 'housewives'. Every lady that've got the chance in this century to read n' write should give it her all without the thoughts of marriage already.

I am very cool with the concept of housewife.

I am always for whatever, within reason, that makes my partner more happy.

If she wants to work, fine.

If she wants to be a housewife, fine.

I would just lay the pros and cons and let her decide.
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by kabsun(m): 8:09am On Sep 17, 2013
College or no college, success of a man does not have anytin to do wit the degrees she possesses. A woman would excel as a wife even witout formal education.

Forty years ago, a lot of women got married as illetrates but they had a fulfilled life and raised great children which the so called educated and liberated women of today cant and even envy atimes.

The success of a life of a man and woman more especially in a matrimonial setting is in them. It is them that wil decide wheather to triumph together or otherwise.

If exposure to formal education is a factor in successful rship, then the western world would have recorded the most blisful marriages ever, but statistics said the opposite.

It baffles me a lot wen one of the qualities of a wife is made to be her degrees. Wat has degree got to do with good marriages? Wat has exposure to formal education and ability to work so as to earn wages gat to do wit successful marriages. If you are not financially capable to moderately take care of urself and wife, dont get married yet.

A man is made the head of the household cuz he takes full not partial responsibilty of the household. Most marriages are falling due to the absense of that. If as a man you want to have sanity in your house then assume total responsibilty of your house more especially the finances. The woman's financial contribution is absolutely her decision to make. Al these 50/50, 70/30 etc is crap BS and do more harm than good.

Note that there is nothing wrong wit a woman contributing finances but where the wrong comes in is making it part of her job description.

Back to the topic. The reason why men doesnt do the chasing any longer is bcuz the chasiee doesnt worth the chasing.

Agreed no woman should allow or give chance to a poor irresponsible futureless man but then if al it takes to have a woman is the cash then I rather chase the cash then the woman wil do the chasing wen enof cash is made.

Even we men like to be chased. If woman want to be chased, prove to us it takes morethan cash to win your heart and you ar worth the practice.

Every woman of marriageable age knows exactly wat it takes to take care of her rship wit her man and wat is around him. But they ar just not willing to do the do. Most ar lazy and wanna eat there cake and have it. They want to be equal to a man while enjoying al the priveleges of bin a woman.

If you ar a woman, behave like one and men wil treat you like one also. If you want to be equal to a man, Men ar ever ready to treat you as such. Case closed. Make a wise choice.

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Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 9:45am On Sep 17, 2013
kabsun: College or no college, success of a man does not have anytin to do wit the degrees she possesses. A woman would excel as a wife even witout formal education.

Forty years ago, a lot of women got married as illetrates but they had a fulfilled life and raised great children which the so called educated and liberated women of today cant and even envy atimes.

The success of a life of a man and woman more especially in a matrimonial setting is in them. It is them that wil decide wheather to triumph together or otherwise.

If exposure to formal education is a factor in successful rship, then the western world would have recorded the most blisful marriages ever, but statistics said the opposite.

It baffles me a lot wen one of the qualities of a wife is made to be her degrees. Wat has degree got to do with marriage? Wat has exposure to formal education and ability to work so as to earn wages gat to do successful marriage. If you are not financial capable to moderately take care of urself and wife, dont get married yet.

A man is made the head of the household cuz he takes full not partial responsibilty of the household. Most marriages are falling due to the absense of that. If as a man you want to have sanity in your house then assume total responsibilty of your house more especially the finances. The woman's financial contribution is absolutely at her decision to make or not to. Al these 50/50, 70/30 etc is crap BS and do more harm than good.

Note that there is nothing wrong wit a woman contributing finances but where the wrong comes in is making it part of her job description.

Back to the topic. The reason why men doesnt do the chasing any longer is bcuz the chasiee doesnt worth the chasing.

Agreed no woman should allow or give chance to a poor irresponsible futureless man but then if al it takes to have a woman is the cash then I rather chase the cash then the woman wil do the chasing wen enof cash is made.

Even we men like to be chased. If woman want to be chased, prove to us it takes morethan cash to win your heart and you ar worth the practice.

Every woman of marriageable age know exactly wat it takes to take care of her household. But they ar just not willing to do the do. Most ar lazy and wanna eat there cake and have it. They want to be equal to a man while enjoying al the priveleges of bin a woman.

If you ar a woman behave like one and men wil treat you like one also. If you want to be equal to a man. Men ar ever ready to treat you as such. Case closed. Make a wise choice.
inasmuch as I agree with you I want to say that the educational hight of a woman is a plus to family/marriage success (who wont want a plus?)
1. yes a man will send his children to school do you expect the man to come home after a hard days job to come help the children with their homework? certainly no.. that only an educated woman can do.. yes you may say our mothers of old had no education didn't we succeed? we did but with tears ....
2. in this modern world and generation who will want to present a wife that will blow blonders and disgrace you b4 the public? (yes PEJ reached a height of success any woman will want, but).... and when you/friends are talking interlectual talk do you want your wife deaf and dumb at such occasions?
3. do you know that education as it is has little or no direct application in our daily lives (especially mathematics), but more emphasis is put on it because its a brain teaser, it helps keep one mentally alert, and a person who can stand the mental vigor of schooling can equally stand any challenge (mentally, physically, emotionally).
4. yes its never the responsibility of a woman to be a/part of bread winning but have you ever wander why widows/orphans suffer almost immediately after the after the demise of the bread winner? even if the man left heaven as inheritance .. guy it requires to a certain level of school education to manage these inherentance...
your whole writeup sounds as thou western education is not a factor to a successfull marriage atleast its not a sole factor but it is one of the factors and if our females are not going to school, what will they be doing?
I agree with all you wrote but if an educated woman will b plus to my marriage and will ensure that she does not suffer as such if am no more then I will certainly desire an educated woman...

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Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 10:35am On Sep 17, 2013
Thunder strike me if I chase any female specimen. There are better things to do with my time. If I like u and I tell U,if u nack me apako like twice,heaven knows I let U be. Infact if I c U,wont even greet U. Thats how nasty I can be.. NO TIME TO CHECK TIME....
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by kabsun(m): 2:20pm On Sep 17, 2013
@jpiliya, I so much relate wit al dat U said. I am on the same page wit U. Formal education is a very big plus more especially in the areas you highlighted.

But putting the ability of a woman to have degree so that she can earn salary as part of major decision pointer in selecting a life partner to me is lame, and to some xtent shows responsibilty phobia.

If women want us to chase them then they should prove beyond doubt that the ar worth it else .......

Areas like ability to take care of the house front, good financial management, child care know-how, tolerance, patience, good manners, cleanliness, and lots of other positive attributes wil indirectly force us to chase you al season.

If a woman doesnt have those attributes mentioned above she then must work on her self, she shld learn them. They are what wil make us wanna stay wit you at all cost.

If all that ladies think wil give them real men (as they called them) is facial decorations, files of certificates and exposing sensitive body parts, then some of the 'unreal men' wil chase it(those faces and exposed parts).

Work on your characters et al, we wil definitely chase you for keep, its in our DNA. Work on your body alone we chase for seeeeeeex. Thts al

1 Like

Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by imauri: 3:30pm On Sep 17, 2013
LOL... grin UR MY HERO MEN...LOL
luizworld:
grin Lol. No time
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by tpia5: 4:49pm On Sep 17, 2013
No need to pursue someone who is pursuing you.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Abejimico(m): 6:05pm On Sep 17, 2013
ChopUrMoni: Have you ever played hide and seek? If you have, then you know that once the person has been found by the finder its not the end of the game. The person found must run and the finder would have to pursue until they have caught them. Then and only then is the the game over.

I have noticed a trend among a lot of men. They have become so lazy that they do not bother chasing the girl they love. The saying "ah... its just a girl, they are many more out there" and "she's playing hard to get, i cant be bothered and she's not the only beautiful girl out there anyway" have become so popular among men especially black men.

What happened to the value of chasing a woman? Why has it become so worthless and looked down upon. Would men of today have survived many years ago. Men in those days didn't complain when they pursued the girl they loved, in many cases suffered in the hands of the girls family and then paid a massive amount to have her as his wife. Today it's a lot easier yet men are not willing or should I say are too lazy to pursue the woman of their dreams. Oh i forgot... there are too many fishes in sea. Why bother right?

Men, we love to be pursued and conquered by you. Why do you all think the stories of Cinderella, Snow white, Rapunzel and the like are so loved by girls? They all had one thing in common. A prince who not only found them but also fought for them. Trust me we love to be chased and caught by you.

If you are not serious with the girl then don't bother. But, if you do love her don't allow you friends to push you to get over her after she has rejected you twice. Try a little harder than twicesmiley. I noticed white guys have always chased me fervently. But when it comes to black men, even though they profess to loving me so deeply they don't bother if i don't respond to them after a specific time. If any race of man on earth should know how to pursue a woman fervently until he captures her it should be a black man because thats what you fathers and grand fathers did. It's in your DNA smiley So now, what are you waiting for? Get started!

If i hear!!!!
Chasing women? When I needed to the making cool cash.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by rapala(m): 6:35pm On Sep 17, 2013
why should i pusue women when i have a lots to satisfy my sexual urges
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 9:17pm On Sep 26, 2013
Nah......we only approach Lady(ies) we admire. Why should we PURSUE?

Not to talk of PURSUING!
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Nobody: 10:32pm On Sep 26, 2013
Women of those days were modest and most women of this days are indecent, immoral which make them to be valueless and unattractive
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by seyi072000(m): 11:36pm On Dec 22, 2013
Black Mamba: No time jare... These days the ladies are even the one doing the pursuing.
na so my broda
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by davidif: 3:09am On Aug 02, 2014
ChopUrMoni: Have you ever played hide and seek? If you have, then you know that once the person has been found by the finder its not the end of the game. The person found must run and the finder would have to pursue until they have caught them. Then and only then is the the game over.

I have noticed a trend among a lot of men. They have become so lazy that they do not bother chasing the girl they love. The saying "ah... its just a girl, they are many more out there" and "she's playing hard to get, i cant be bothered and she's not the only beautiful girl out there anyway" have become so popular among men especially black men.

What happened to the value of chasing a woman? Why has it become so worthless and looked down upon. Would men of today have survived many years ago. Men in those days didn't complain when they pursued the girl they loved, in many cases suffered in the hands of the girls family and then paid a massive amount to have her as his wife. Today it's a lot easier yet men are not willing or should I say are too lazy to pursue the woman of their dreams. Oh i forgot... there are too many fishes in sea. Why bother right?

Men, we love to be pursued and conquered by you. Why do you all think the stories of Cinderella, Snow white, Rapunzel and the like are so loved by girls? They all had one thing in common. A prince who not only found them but also fought for them. Trust me we love to be chased and caught by you.

If you are not serious with the girl then don't bother. But, if you do love her don't allow you friends to push you to get over her after she has rejected you twice. Try a little harder than twicesmiley. I noticed white guys have always chased me fervently. But when it comes to black men, even though they profess to loving me so deeply they don't bother if i don't respond to them after a specific time. If any race of man on earth should know how to pursue a woman fervently until he captures her it should be a black man because thats what you fathers and grand fathers did. It's in your DNA smiley So now, what are you waiting for? Get started!

Pursue ke?? Are there not many options out there? Don't girls usually say "no means no". See confusion na?
Why would a guy risk being rejected and humiliated when he has so many other choices out there?
Re: Why Are Men No Longer Pursuing Women? by Decryptor(m): 3:41am On Aug 02, 2014
Cos we are too busy pursuing money.

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