Hilarious Court Room Exchanges - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by tytylayor: 1:22pm On Feb 25, 2008 |
____________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh, I was gett'in laid! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now, whose death do you suppose terminated it? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!, (Ouch) ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh, are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ --- And the best for last: --- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law, (Ouch, Ouch) |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by sayhova: 2:11pm On Feb 25, 2008 |
LOL  Good one girl. Lawyers need to read this. |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by segunpc(m): 2:30pm On Feb 25, 2008 |
u try. |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by tytylayor: 2:40pm On Feb 25, 2008 |
segunpc tnk u, av bin trying trying trying,  u nko  |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by tytylayor: 6:01pm On Feb 26, 2008 |
Jesus is watching you A robber sneaked into a house and after he took a few steps he heard, "Jesus is watching you," he then took two more then heard the voice say it again. The Robber looked around the room and in a dark corner he saw a Cage. The Robber walked over to it and saw that it had a parrot in it. "Are you the one who said Jesus is watching me?” The Robber asked. "Yes," Replied the Parrot. "Well what is your name?" "Moses," the Parrot told him. Well that's stupid, what idiot names a parrot Moses?" The Parrot quickly responded, "The same Idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus." |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by kronkykay(m): 7:39pm On Feb 26, 2008 |
@ tyty u just earned yourself a big KISS. . . . .check my profile for the kiss u too try. . . |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by TOYOSI20(f): 8:55pm On Feb 26, 2008 |
Nice jokes |
| Re: Hilarious Court Room Exchanges by ituen(m): 9:54am On Feb 28, 2008 |
cool jokes |
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