How Do You Agree On Views Of Weddings?

Ok how important do you think it is to compromise when it comes to weddings?

Someone wants a big ceremony, another wants a simple one.

Where is the meeting point and do you think its possible to reach a compromise?

This is becoming more common now in Nigeria as much as it is in abroad.

Whoever wants the big ceremony should do more funding.

But most times funding is not even the issue. Its the fact that they want people to be aware they are throwing a big party.

It depends on both parties. On one side, it might be their first wedding in the family and would want something big while the other side might be holding records of weddings & are convenient with anything. U've just got to reach a balance. Most times the balance usually ends up big all the same.

I think both of u should sit down, view ur budget reasonably, and then see how much u are willing to spend.

Weddings are getting more and more expensive these days. Now that i have been told that the bride's family is responsible to pay for the ceremony - i have kinda spoken to maself regarding the wedding issue and how much am willing to spend.

Like jkpretty said its not always about the money.
Sometimes it might just be what one person views as an acceptable way of marrying without 500-3000 people running all over the place with loud music that makes it look like a musical festival rather then a wedding.
When you consider that in Nigeria we have our own wedding and adopted the english way of marrying it is actually a longer ,larger and yes more expensive venture.
But like jkpretty also said most times due to the culture we live in ,the person who wants a small wedding almost always loses out and accept it even if he/she does not wish it , to satisfy the other person who too might be under pressure to start with.

i reckon the wedding day being the woman's day,she should be allowed to have her way tho within reason and as long as the funds isnt an issue especially seeing as the woman's family actuall pay for the wedding in some cultures and a lot of cases anyway

Ha ba maybe nah the woman who no want big band perform
But then again how often is it that a man is bothered to have a big ceremony?Another intresting topic

Really Interesting Topic, I'm not married yet but we'll follow this thread for replies and reactions.

@poster
Are you a male or female.
'Cause most females I've met prefer elaborate wedding while most men speak from their pockets.
Any partner who opts for the elaborate wedding celebration should first bring 60% of it on the table.

I am a man.But why would a man want to speak from his pocket since he is not paying for most of it usually?
Usually he has to spent on the introduction and carries less of the burden money wise at traditional and way less for the reception .
If i recall right he pays for the licence and a few things only.
I would think a man would speak from his views  and heart on this.
This might be why you rarely hear complaints .Women usually opt for a big day and the man goes with it simply because its not his side running the money like water and he just stands and smiles away!
A woman i would understand if she does not want a big wedding  as it is indeed expensive if we are talking about money only.

What sort of marriage do couples want to get into, if they cannot reach a compromise before the wedding itself? Personally, I really don't want a big wedding , but if the groom wants to throw something outrageous or my family cajoles me to have one, I might succumb .

Yes true, mostly ladies prefer something big while the guy would prefer to cut his coat according to his cloth.

It also depends on the tribe like if the lady is yoruba, its expected that the bride's family funds her wedding. But If she's Igbo every expense i guess drops from the man's pocket. Who ever is doing the majority funding _{(be it the bride's family or the groom)}, has the right to choose the type of wedding to have.

The couple should have the last and final say on their wedding.they both should know whats best for them and do it their way.
. . . .personally,i wud love it on the average side.

what you consider to be average might be real big or too small to some people!

Anyway you look at it, your pocket must decide unless you want to go into debt for your wedding.

very pointless and stupid me thinks, the whole essence of weddings is starting to get misplaced and replaced with unnecessities
why should people put thier properties life and commit thier life savings on d line for a so called talk of the town wedding?, which may crumble a few days after,
and which may render some parties involved indebted for the rest of thier lives,

and which may lead to untimely death,
and d list goes on and on,
personally it is worth doing something moderate, beautiful and affordable without going over limit, common sense!!
no law binds the necessity for a big wedding so why do we do regard?!think,

big wedding, talk of the town for a couple of weeks and end of!
someone else would come on stage and try to surpass the previous, so watz d point?!

wedding is good but then the only thing that requires full commitment of every resources available is the success of the wedding itself, people need to think, especially most women who want to cut a 1000-storey cake or wear a 30k pounds wedding gown or who wants to marry on 32000feet or i want to invite the whole of Nigeria or the MUSON CENTRE is not big enough!

kai we too do!!

Really funny cos i just had this talk with my friends. Personally i'd love a pretty quiet wedding, but ladies seem to be scared about this cos they feel the guy has something to hide. . . . . . . . . .maybe another wife or too many girls in the past.

prince_onx:

what you consider to be average might be real big or too small to some people!

Anyway you look at it, your pocket must decide unless you want to go into debt for your wedding.

. . . .well each man to his own.i understand what my own average means ! whatever,the couple has the final say methinks, either to have it big and then go indebt later or anyhow  one thing am sure is this,my wedding is going to be on the sweeeeet,no pre wedding blues or debt.my coat would definitely be sewn according to my cloth.

Its a once in a lifetime affair! Give it your best.

@pretty .Again a good point.He/she who wants the big do should be ready to pay for it even if just for the principle of it.
We are all equals man and woman .So if you want something lavished then maybe that person should pull out the wallet.
Once in a lifetime event(and lets face it with 50% ending in break up it might not be) does not mean you should now break your bank or bang drums for the whole town to hear.
There is plenty of responsibilities after the wedding to think of and maybe that is where the families should focus their attention.

banni:

I am a man.But why would a man want to speak from his pocket since he is not paying for most of it usually?
Usually[b] he has to spent on the introduction and carries less of the burden money wise at traditional and way less for the reception[/b] .
If i recall right[b] he pays for the licence and a few things only[/b].
I would think a man would speak from his views  and heart on this.
This might be why you rarely hear complaints .Women usually opt for a big day and the man goes with it simply because its not his side running the money like water and he just stands and smiles away![/b]A woman i would understand if she does not want a big wedding  as it is indeed expensive if we are talking about money only.

definitely not in Igboland.
TUFIAKWA that a woman and her family should pay to have their daughters married.
Thank God for some smart ancestors
In our culture,the man [b]pays for everything.
From the time he sees the girl and says nne how now,he starts paying
from iku aka (knocking on the door)
to ibu mmanya ( wine carrying)
To uno uka (Church)
na im money
the girls parents are just special guests at the wedding
na them born the pretty bride,that's enough contribution already.

so girls if the man is doing shakara and no want pay,head towards Okija area

Lmao

nwando:

definitely not in Igboland.
TUFIAKWA that a woman and her family should pay to have their daughters married.
Thank God for some smart ancestors
In our culture,the man pays for everything.
From the time he sees the girl and says nne how now,he starts paying
from iku aka (knocking on the door)
to ibu mmanya ( wine carrying)
To uno uka (Church)
na im money
the girls parents are just special guests at the wedding
na them born the pretty bride,that's enough contribution already.

so girls if the man is doing shakara and no want pay,head towards Okija area

Na wa ,thank god for rest of Nigeria! No be by force.

I overheard some one complaining that he is not scared of how much he will spend in his wedding.Even if it is to take him two million naira. He is ready  for that.

The only problem , according to him, is  that he does not have friends that can come for the wedding. He said that he is so scared of  being short of guests on that day because he does not know anybody and a kind of introvert.

DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE  


what do you all think about this?

Real Man:

I overheard some one complaining that he is not scared of how much he will spend in his wedding.Even if it is to take him two million naira. He is ready for that.

The only problem , according to him, is that he does not have friends that can come for the wedding. He said that he is so scared of being short of guests on that day because he does not know anybody and a kind of introvert.

DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE


what do you all think about this?

That na story.If you organise huge wedding people go appear like magnet.He just want talk.You never see wedding where they invite 200 people and 2k show up.This na nigerian wedding ,if you book venue for 5k e go full.That is why people who want small wedding dey use small venue .

What an interesting topic! a timely one too.
I was telling my friends recently that my wedding reception will be within the range of 50-100. They have dared me and ive taken up the challenge. Y waste all ur effort on just a day's events. Some even go as far as taking loans! imagine.
As for me elaborate, big, gigantic or society weddings (or whatever it is called) is a no-no. I hope i get a man who can reason along with me!

nwando:

definitely not in Igboland.
TUFIAKWA that a woman and her family should pay to have their daughters married.
Thank God for some smart ancestors
In our culture,the man pays for everything.
From the time he sees the girl and says nne how now,he starts paying
from iku aka (knocking on the door)
to ibu mmanya ( wine carrying)
To uno uka (Church)
na im money
the girls parents are just special guests at the wedding
na them born the pretty bride,that's enough contribution already.

so girls if the man is doing shakara and no want pay,head towards Okija area

@nwando

LMAO !

nwando:

definitely not in Igboland.
TUFIAKWA that a woman and her family should pay to have their daughters married.
Thank God for some smart ancestors
In our culture,the man pays for everything.
From the time he sees the girl and says nne how now,he starts paying
from iku aka (knocking on the door)
to ibu mmanya ( wine carrying)
To uno uka (Church)
na im money
the girls parents are just special guests at the wedding
na them born the pretty bride,that's enough contribution already.

so girls if the man is doing shakara and no want pay,head towards Okija area

LMAO
when i read that Bannis post,i was wonderingif he is an Indian.  
anyway i thank God i came from where i came.no long tori.

It actually depends on what the couple wants and what their background is, its a taboo in some families to make so much noise about wedding while its a taboo for some families to have a quiet wedding. My cousins are 9 girls in their family and 7 are already married with the parents spending few millions, in this case it has become a tradition in their family and the remaining 2 girls expect nothing less.

Most of the money is spent by the parents so you got to check out what their pocket is like except you want to spend the money yourself anyway if you are loaded, but what matters is the life in the marriage not the celebration.

ashaby:

What an interesting topic! a timely one too.
I was telling my friends recently that my wedding reception will be within the range of 50-100. They have dared me and ive taken up the challenge. Y waste all your effort on just a day's events. Some even go as far as taking loans! imagine.
As for me elaborate, big, gigantic or society weddings (or whatever it is called) is a no-no. I hope i get a man who can reason along with me!

My dear,finding man who agree with this no hard.Even men who like to pose  go jump if you say this.Finding the woman is the issue

Me I want a big wedding when the time comes,

A very, very, big one for that matter.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is once in a life time celebration, so why not go all out.

why waste ur money on a 5hr event? what people dont know is that small can be classy and very chic. imagine some people will come and eat ur food without even bringing you at least a set of cutlery as gift. i believe in simplicity and elegance. i dont want my wedding to be loud but it should be very elegant.

vuoke:

why waste your money on a 5hr event? what people don't know is that small can be classy and very chic. imagine some people will come and eat your food without even bringing you at least a set of cutlery as gift. i believe in simplicity and elegance. i don't want my wedding to be loud but it should be very elegant.

I dont know any Nigerian weddings that are that quick more like 12hours. I am not looking forward to my wedding My dad is a right show off and will make as much noise as possible which is a nightmare for me I hate to be the centre of attention. Plus all the changes of clothes will drive me insane.
The important thing is that bride and groom must enjoy the day!