what do i do. dont want them to influence mine but they play together and if i stop them from coming around enemity has started and we are just three in a spacious compound.

Lmao!

What can you do?!!

Ehen,if enemity starts nko?whats your buisness.if your children get influenced negatively,will your neighbour be there to help you out,abeg stop them from comming to your house if its for the good of your kids.as long as you're not borrowing money,maggi,clothes,salt,palm oil,garri,film and or dropping key in your neighbours house,you have a right to restrain your neighbours kids but if your kids are going there to watch tv,borrow this or that or your kids have destroyed any of their properties then you are on a long thing

kulyie: Ehen,if enemity starts nko?whats your buisness.if your children get influenced negatively,will your neighbour be there to help you out,abeg stop them from comming to your house if its for the good of your kids.as long as you're not borrowing money,maggi,clothes,salt,palm oil,garri,film and or dropping key in your neighbours house,you have a right to restrain your neighbours kids but if your kids are going there to watch tv,borrow this or that or your kids have destroyed any of their properties then you are on a long thing

Ehennnn!!! thanks a bunch!

Influence the children to become good,u cant leave them like that.

OP, what do you define as "wild" ?

The finger and accusation starts from you. . .

How are they wild?

ifyalways: OP, what do you define as "wild" ?

The finger and accusation starts from you. . .

How are they wild?

They talk carelessly sometimes rude, hardly greet, rough at play sometimes spoil my children toys and show no remorse etc

No one borrows everyone is comfortable just that if i dont handle things
right their parents may feel offended mind u one of the family here is
the landlord. enemity makes my heart skip thats why am being careful.

Op,is it a face me,I face you compound?
If it is,there's not much you can do i guess..
If its not and you are convinced your children's relationship with them isn't healthy,please set your boundaries.
There's no way those kids won't rub off on your kids somehow..and f you think enemity will start if you break your kids away,wait until one of your kids or the other party's get seriously injured during one of their "rough plays".Na that time you go see correct enemity.
It is in your interest to have your children "play " in their own house henceforth.
They'll get used to it after a while.
Your kids' social and moral behaviour should override your relationship with your neighbour.

Kids are very tricky and very emotional when corrected by an outsider.... If you say a word now , it'll be blown out of proportion esp Naija parents and you'd be the topic as soon as they reach house....

I have a good idea what you're going thru, I always hold my breath until they leave and their parents are all peachy about their outrageous attitude. mtcheww

But since you're stuck with them... you gonna have to fight this battle and talk when they do things you're not okay with, for example Toys;

*Guys can you be gentle with those toys or you want me to take them away..with a straight but not angry face

Vulgar words; shhhhh guys that's not a nice word to say.( again with the face no need to raise your voice)

Rude: that's kinda rude don't you think buddy? you want me to tell your mom what you just did?( I'm sure he doesn't wanna )

Non remorsefulness ; I think you need a break and you can go home, these kids need to do their homework now.

Lastly; you don't need them to greet you if they don't wanna , it's not by force. Good luck.

I already have my hands full... I don't want any kid to give me hypertension

One almost drove the snowmobile out of the culdesac
into the Main Street while his parents were chatting away what doesn't concern them

so keep ur kids to yourself

chaircover: Invest in things that will keep your children occupied in their own home.

Kids brains are like sponges and sooner or later these other kids behavior will rub off on your kids. At most the parents will call you snobs. Not a big deal. They are your kids and your responsibility at the end of the day.

op you hear?

Lets be real here; you can't keep kids busy 24/7 when you have neighbours that watch your movement when you drive in and out of your house.

As soon mine comes back from skating o,gymnastics o...and so on , you will see them ( neighbours) knocking to ask for permission to play with them( my kids ) , sometimes I say they want to have lunch now and the kids will rush their lunches like crazy cos they want to go over so bad.

I had a misunderstanding with one of the moms ( you know these caucasians way of reasoning sometimes ehn
).... my kids bawled their eyes out cos they built a fort in their yard together and now I had to let them go there but now wiser myself....no need to sweat it.

It's tricky, like I said just modify your words and be frank about it period.

jidegirl12: Lets be real here; you can't keep kids busy 24/7 when you have neighbours that watch your movement when you drive in and out of your house.

As soon mine comes back from skating o,gymnastics o...and so on , you will see them ( neighbours) knocking to ask for permission to play with them( my kids ) , sometimes I say they want to have lunch now and the kids will rush their lunches like crazy cos they want to go over so bad.

I had a misunderstanding with one of the moms ( you know these caucasians way of reasoning sometimes ehn
).... my kids bawled their eyes out cos they built a fort in their yard together and now I had to let them go there but now wiser myself....no need to sweat it.

It's tricky, like I said just modify your words and be frank about it period.

Of course you can . . .

Growing up, I NEVER went outside to play with the other kids. There was just no time . . And my parents never allowed it.

I grew up in a town known for it's promiscuity and my parents were VERY strict about who we mix with.

I have really rude and ill mannered kids around me and neigbours or not, I intend to keep my children away from them. They are my kids and I don't care how anybody reacts to my actions!

Ujujoan:

Of course you can . . .

Growing up, I NEVER went outside to play with the other kids. There was just no time . . And my parents never allowed it.

I grew up in a town known for it's promiscuity and my parents were VERY strict about who we mix with.

I have really rude and ill mannered kids around me and neigbours or not, I intend to keep my children away from them. They are my kids and I don't care how anybody reacts to my actions!

I don't usually doubt grown ups Uju but I found ^^^ very hard to believe.

jidegirl12:

I don't usually doubt grown ups Uju but I found ^^^ very hard to believe.

Well I guess you are entitled to your own opinion!

Actually, What I find very difficult to believe is that you'll let yourself be intimidated into letting your children keep bad company.

I'm quite surprised you think you have no power or control over who your children mix with. Children of impressionable ages should be restricted to bad company, neighbors or not.

How am I intimidated here? They are actually good kids , it was just an example for the OP , I only had misunderstanding with their mom so why should that affect them playing together/play dates.

As per power and control whatnot; you heard the OP's concern bout the situation so why make it a war... My on approach to the situation is quite different from y'all .... I'd rather fight this battle than just quit/ give up

The fact that you were raised like that doesn't make it acceptable , you lived in a bad neighbourhood ( every parent will do what your parents did), but OP 's case is quite different.

chaircover: Yes You can keep kids busy! There are a thousand things to do from baking to getting them to make a simple bead necklace. Its only for a few hours a day between when they get back from school and finish their school work and when they go to bed at night.

My kids have never gone out to play because there are no kids in our close so they have just got used to making do with what we have in our house and In the summer they play in our back garden or the park

[b][b]Ok maybe our case is different because there were no other kids to start wi[/b]th [/b]but at the end of the day, I am their parent and I dont want my kids round any bad behavior or foul language from uncouth kids and so I will separate them.

I am the mother, I know whats best for them and so & I dictate and not the other way round.

Glad you mentioned that^^^ , this case is different and it's just easy for anybody to say what y'all are saying when you've actually never experienced it.

*looking for where I said I lived in a bad neighborhood*

What's not acceptable about parents restricting their kids from keeping bad/inappropriate company

Just because women these days are desperate for play dates for their children doesn't mean they have to look the other way when the other kids are not properly raised.

People have different standards for raising their children and I won't want to force my ways on anybody, neither will I want them to influence my children with theirs. Who suffers in the end while OP is trying to be 'diplomatic' about it? The children of course!

Ujujoan:

Of course you can . . .

Growing up, I NEVER went outside to play with the other kids. There was just no time . . And my parents never allowed it.

I grew up in a town known for it's promiscuity and my parents were VERY strict about who we mix with.

I have really rude and ill mannered kids around me and neigbours or not, I intend to keep my children away from them. They are my kids and I don't care how anybody reacts to my actions!

What do you call that what sane parent will let her girls near sex& drugs?

How old are these kids are - Yours and the unwanted friends?

There's a stage at which you no longer have to subtract 'kids' from an environment or people from their lives to keep them safe, lest you modify their sociality. They will eventually leave your presence and meet kids, perhaps, even worse than your neighbours' children.
Instill good manners into them, and teach them to uphold 'em, so that they can gradually, personally build a wall of defense against anything contrary to what they have been taught.

If your kids haven't reached that stage yet, it's fine to stop those kids from visiting. The well-being of your kids is paramount, and shouldn't be jeopardized for your neighbours' smokescreen-friendship.

Attention:

They talk carelessly sometimes rude, hardly greet, rough at play sometimes spoil my children toys and show no remorse etc

I don't think these ^^^ attitudes are too much chores to handle IMO kids are not the same.

jidegirl12:

What do you call that what sane parent will let her girls near sex& drugs?

I said 'town' . . . not neighborhood! I grew up in Benin City (Edo State)

Our neighborhood was the most decent you could ever find. Each house had it own compound with huge gates and locks keeping people in . . and out! Yet kids still went to neighbors' houses to play and stuff, but we were never allowed to. My parents weren't taking any chances!

You claim it's impossible for parents to keep their kids indoors all day and I just gave you a live example!

Some people let their young kids watch all sorts of Nollywood movies, I don't intend to. So if there's a chance that my own kids will be exposed to such movies in a neighbor's house, it's certain that they won't be allowed to go there.

You may be diplomatic all you want, in the end, it's your duty to raise/protect your kids, not your neighbors.

Attention:

They talk carelessly sometimes rude, hardly greet, rough at play sometimes spoil my children toys and show no remorse etc

How old are they? Could be that they are just being kids.

chaircover:




Bottomline for me!

Exactly!

It's the duty of a parent to separate h/her children from bad company.

I'm sure even the so called neighbor would do same if the tables were turned!

Train your own child(ren) and it'll never depart from them.... spong or no spong.... 1hr/weekend play will not corrupt my kids mind and attitude.... I'm not gonna give any excuse for what's not an issue here.... I've said my own I will fight my battle than to give up .... even life in general works that way, I confront my problems.

Ujujoan:

How old are they? Could be that they are just being kids.

Now you're talking

jidegirl12:

Now you're talking

I don't know what you think I am talking about!

Kids could outgrow some things, but only if they are still young. If my 5-10 year old still doesn't act right, I'll check myself again.

What do you mean by wild?