The rate women takes house help these days is increasing day by day. What is your view on this? Despite the fact that we hear different stories of the havoc they commit. Guys can you allow your wife to take house help? Ladies in the house can you take house help. Please state your reasons for any answer given.

@chaircover how about when the kids are still very small and the husband and wife are both working from morning till night.

Househelps kind of lightens the load for the couple or let me say the wife. For the good once without any evil intention, their assistance is always of value to those they serve.

Those who cannot afford to buy household equipments like washing machine and the rest and who have kids and work long hours always end up taking a househelp not because they are lazy or cant take care of their homes and kids but because it is necessary for them to get external hands.

But alot has been heard about the damages they have caused their employers. Stories like husband snatching, getting pregnant for their madam's Oga, stealing and worse witchcraft. In Benin, there are countless stories of housegirls introducing the kids they look after to witchcraft.

Just last week, my friend told her aunt in the village to help her look for a girl to stay with her and look after her kids when they are not around; you needed to see the way she screamed fire. She said that 80% of all the children in their village have been been bewitched, of course by their peers and mothers. Now how do you know who is a witch and who is not when they all have the same innocent looking face?

I have an aunt who works and has 5 kids and has never had anyone live with her to help take care of them. Because of the stress and exhaution, she is never looking well. While i commend her efforts and superwoman abilities, i will never subject myself to such punishments. Her reasons are she doesnt want to end up with a witch. Well, what about the friends these kids have both at home and school, their neighbours, schoolmates, even fellow church members!

At the end of the day, it takes the grace of God for he is the only one who can protect our kids from the unforseen.

When the need ever arises, i will consider taking a help but will first subject her to Medical test like HIV, Hepatitis A and B serum Tuberculosis test, then series of deliverance prayers. They say God help those who help themselves.

Lastly its important to be very conscious healthwise of your househelp. For those who already have househelps who are above 16years, be sure to carry out the above medical test on them every 6 months for the safety of your entire family. In the course of my work, i have done such medical test for newly employed househelps and on many occasions they tested positive to those tests. A particular case is a 16years old girl who tested positive to HIV, a 14years old girl about to be employed who tested positive to pregnancy test, one other girl both HIV and Hepatitis etc.

Importantly it is wise to be nice to your househelps. These people handle your children, feed them, takes care of them and most are even closer to your children than you. You dont want an angry frustrated maltreated hungry housegirl or houseboy handling your child. It is wise to treat them right afterall they are human beings like you only less fortunate.

When growing up(due to fact that we always had house helps and relatives living with us) i thought it was a given that me too when i marry i will have one.Luckily mum never made us depend on house helps and so made sure all thechores were divided between us and the househelps.I remember we used to grumble that sebi they get paid and we used to get knock or twisted ears and mum will say they too are somebodys children.In short by the time i was 12 mum stopped getting househelps cos we were doing more chores than the helps sef.

Fast forward now i dont have one and i think.am doing fine without one.Maybe if i lived in Nigeria i would need help but would prob go down the route of what obtains with mum now which is a cleaning lady.Comes on saturday and does a proper spring clean for like 3 to 4 hrs.Gets paid,bye.During the week they clean up after themselves.They have washing machine and sometimes use the drycleaners for ironing.

@damiso i so agree with your method of cleaning lady who works for few hours and goes.

This house help issue has it not been too flogged on this section.well if a woman decides to have a househelp or not that's her own.their re some certain kind of jobs/business you do that you might just need someone to live with you.I personally have some business dinners with my husband in the evenings,their are reasons why we both have to be their including his manager.so do I take my baby along?we are trying so hard to conceive this client why he should use our company and then my baby in her car seat is causing lots of distractions.she wants to get down,she creams,she cries.am not the only one with a baby nah.Last week we went out with our baby like around 8pm.immediately she saw the pool she was just fighthing to get down.and all of a sudden she just forced her way out of my hands was running to the pool.people started shouting madam madam.and when I caught her everyone was blaming me and my hubby for coming out this late with our baby.so not having a househelp can't work for everyone especially when you are in naija no matter the dish washer and all you have.every mum with young kids might just need a matured person around the house to lighten some chores run errands.

Rich Lizzy: The rate women takes house help these days is increasing day by day. What is your view on this? Despite the fact that we hear different stories of the havoc they commit. Guys can you allow your wife to take house help? Ladies in the house can you take house help. Please state your reasons for any answer given.

I think a lot of this also depends on your location.

It's easier to get such helps at the drop of a hat back in Naija than it is overseas or specifically in Western countries. Main reason being affordability. It's a well known fact that most "house helps" in Naija are paid (if at all) peanuts for working 24/7. Glorified slave labour.

In the west, you're forced to work to an agreed contract where the terms, conditions and hours of work and pay are clearly stated in black and white AND for no less than the minimum wage....

I do not support the househelp mentality in vogue already. Very many women are lazy these days and then many of them can't even make the bed they lay on. Many don't know how to wash, many more don't know how to cook so, they hide under the canopy of these househelps when the husband complains of dirty environment, salty food etc

Gboliwe: I do not support the househelp mentality in vogue already. Very many women are lazy these days and then many of them can't even make the bed they lay on. Many don't know how to wash, many more don't know how to cook so, they hide under the canopy of these househelps when the husband complains of dirty environment, salty food etc

Let's put the issue of cooking aside.

No person (be it man or woman) should have any excuse for not being able to do the bolded. Not in this day and age of modern household appliances. You don't need to be a domestic god or goddess in order to keep your home neat and tidy. Rather than rope in some poor unfortunate soul from the village under the guise of "househelp", I'd rather invest in a good washing machine, dishwasher, tumble dryer, hoover/carpet cleaner...etc.

At least that way, "they" won't talk back at you, grumble or even "snatch" your other half...

Most importantly, the job is always done well.

My Sister, very many of us women are lazy I tell you and then we vent off on these househelps alot that is why again, they are always in demand. 3months in Lagos, 2months in Borno, 5months in Akure and that's it. Many of us can't lift our legs off the side stool to pick the remote and enjoy another channel. we need these househelp

House help? Nah.... No use .... I don't need to place my home,my family in the hands of a total stranger... I value what I have like Gold... Home appliances will also make it easier.. A no-no for me..

Gboliwe: My Sister, very many of us women are lazy I tell you and then we vent off on these househelps alot that is why again, they are always in demand. 3months in Lagos, 2months in Borno, 5months in Akure and that's it. Many of us can't lift our legs off the side stool to pick the remote and enjoy another channel. we need these househelp

Lol!

This is where a little er...invention comes in handy. Rather than loose sight of that remote control, t'is better to cellotape it (firmly) to the arm of the most comfortable sofa, with the best view of the TV...

But on a more serious note, househelps are a no-no for me...I'd rather train my kids (which I have done) to handle domestic chores. My boys cook, clean, change the baby's nappy, etc. I make no gender distinctions o!

They maybe a no-no for you maybe because you stay outside the country and mentioned the pay is huge. Most women in Nigeria, especially the newly weds cant do a thing without them. I didn't live with a househelp neither did i do househelp for any body i think that is why i am so averse to it. If my mummy could cope, why cant i?

^^ True that.

Newly weds you say? Now that's depressing!

Whatever on earth would a newly wedded woman need a househelp for in the honeymoon period of her marriage? When 3's supposed to be a crowd and all that? The only exception I see here is if she's physically / medically restricted...

Gboliwe: They maybe a no-no for you maybe because you stay outside the country and mentioned the pay is huge. Most women in Nigeria, especially the newly weds cant do a thing without them. I didn't live with a househelp neither did i do househelp for any body i think that is why i am so averse to it. If my mummy could cope, why cant i?

I live in Lagos, Nigeria.... My mum use to have a househelp, when we were very young and then we were 2girls and 2boys from my mum... Do u know the househelp did something diabolical to my younger sis, by cutting one side of her face with blade, when my mum saw the blade marks on her daughter's face.. She queried the househelp but the girl denied.. After one week, my mum rushed my sister to the hospital due to high temperature, before doctor could finish examining her, she died... They did tests, nothing was found wrong with her...my mum was inconsolable, when she got home, the househelp had run away... My dad and mum reported the issue to her family..everyone was perplexed...
That's how I remained the only lady from my mum till date..

Even if it's free to have househelp... I don't need any... I can manage ... Oh, trust me... I can really manage.

@ Victorian

That is just so sad! It's a heartbreaking story. I'm so sorry to read about your loss

May the good lord keep us safe from evil.

Amen o , Efemena... May God protect us and keep us away from evil people...So that's why, I can Never accept a househelp ... I miss having a sister....so, no matter what? Househelp? Count me out... The Lord will give us the wisdom to handle our homes, amen.

victorian:


I live in Lagos, Nigeria.... My mum use to have a househelp, when we were very young and then we were 2girls and 2boys from my mum... Do u know the househelp did something diabolical to my younger sis, by cutting one side of her face with blade, when my mum saw the blade marks on her daughter's face.. She queried the househelp but the girl denied.. After one week, my mum rushed my sister to the hospital due to high temperature, before doctor could finish examining her, she died... They did tests, nothing was found wrong with her...my mum was inconsolable, when she got home, the househelp had run away... My dad and mum reported the issue to her family..everyone was perplexed...
That's how I remained the only lady from my mum till date..

Even if it's free to have househelp... I don't need any... I can manage ... Oh, trust me... I can really manage.

I feel your pain...

i donot have such experience, but i grew up with ma siblings, 5 of us... and no, we never had a maid.

i am yet to see the reason why i should have one.

i have a 24mths old son, i work full time, same for hubby... but i'd rather have him in a creche where there are other children his age to play with and educated minds to look after them, than to have him stay home alone with some stranger from God knows where...

having househelp experience, my suggestion is if u can run ur home witout hvn a househelp. U wil hv peace of mind in ur home

victorian:


I live in Lagos, Nigeria.... My mum use to have a househelp, when we were very young and then we were 2girls and 2boys from my mum... Do u know the househelp did something diabolical to my younger sis, by cutting one side of her face with blade, when my mum saw the blade marks on her daughter's face.. She queried the househelp but the girl denied.. After one week, my mum rushed my sister to the hospital due to high temperature, before doctor could finish examining her, she died... They did tests, nothing was found wrong with her...my mum was inconsolable, when she got home, the househelp had run away... My dad and mum reported the issue to her family..everyone was perplexed...
That's how I remained the only lady from my mum till date..

Even if it's free to have househelp... I don't need any... I can manage ... Oh, trust me... I can really manage.

very harsh experience

You can say that again..

Househelps are completely ruled off my list.I won't want anyone abusing my kids sexually or otherwise.I don't and I won't leave with any relative either.I had to juggle kids and studies as an undergraduate,Thank God for a supportive hubby and for giving me an active brain.I know my strength,hence I can do without help.Most times the chores will nearly drive u insane,as my kids are still very young and demanding.I plan to tour the career part but am also figuring out away to run my home successfully without any assistance.

I ll never consider househelps.I can quit the career path for my kids to grow while managing a personal business.Kids will grow but the damage done to them by househelps will forever be an epistle written in their hearts.

I grew up with a good number of them.My experiences with them is a story for another day.Most times you are tired and worn out due to unending chores,but I try to cut myself some slacks at times.They are a big NO NO for me.I want to be a part of their childhood memories when they grow.I don't recommend them for anyone.

**my kids childhood memories I mean**

I think the first point is to pray that God gives you the right kind of help. I run my own business and have a baby an older child and my step son as well. My hubby also has a full time business to run so neither of us can be at home the whole day so I have a maid. Unlike some women I do believe her core function is to look after the baby so I do my own cooking, i bought a washing machine to ease her work load. I try by all means to do as much as I can around the house so she can have time to look after the baby. So far so good!! She is great with all 3 kids and is very respectful. My mother in law found her for us and knows her family very well. We treat her like family and in return she acts as such. I believe you reap what you sow. If you sow kindness and love you will reap it.If you treat your maid like a slave they are bound to abuse your kids out of spite. God is the only one who can truely protect our kids so I personally dont think creche is necessarily the safest place espically for a very young baby. Anyway its a personal choice. Iv made mine and im very comfortable with it

Why not?

mushona: I think the first point is to pray that God gives you the right kind of help. I run my own business and have a baby an older child and my step son as well. My hubby also has a full time business to run so neither of us can be at home the whole day so I have a maid. Unlike some women I do believe her core function is to look after the baby so I do my own cooking, i bought a washing machine to ease her work load. I try by all means to do as much as I can around the house so she can have time to look after the baby. So far so good!! She is great with all 3 kids and is very respectful. My mother in law found her for us and knows her family very well. We treat her like family and in return she acts as such. I believe you reap what you sow. If you sow kindness and love you will reap it.If you treat your maid like a slave they are bound to abuse your kids out of spite. God is the only one who can truely protect our kids so I personally dont think creche is necessarily the safest place espically for a very young baby. Anyway its a personal choice. Iv made mine and im very comfortable with it

Word@D bolded.

Every human being needs help. This is not about being lazy. Imagine having a long day at work and getting home to start cooking, givings kids a bath, tidying up? It could even be your mother or a relative helping out. Anyway I was brought up to not stress myself and outsource any tasks I am not up to. I don't have a live in maid but I use services of people to make my life easier e.g. cleaner, caterer, dry-cleaners etc. I don't buy the excuse of sexual assault either - the people I know personally were assaulted by close relatives so that is not a reason to say I won't hire a maid. We had maids and relatives in the house growing up and we all turned out very well. Personally, I believe a lot of Nigerians are very mean to their maids and expect them to treat their kids right but we know life doesn't work that way and karma is very real.. Also, hiring a child as a maid to look after your home is very irresponsible. Thereis nothing wrong with hiring a mature maid/ nanny with clear responsibities to assist a woman on the homefront. I also don't subscribe using one person to do all the work in the house. Personally, I find housework overwhelming and would expect anyone else to find it so regardless of whether they are paid to do it or not. So in my case, I will hire one person to look after my kids when I am not available, another to do housework with the aid of washing machines etc

.

Since my younger yrs dat I've bn investigatin d issue of housemaid,I found out dat majority of d pple dat took one didn't do so out of necesities.u will also notice from d treatment melted out to dem.its only very few families dat u will not know who is who.no mum will give out her child if not bc of poverty and most madams will always tell d housemaid pointblank dat they r from d gutter!check out d school they go to or what they wear! Why won't they maltreat ur children!r u treatin dem better! All of us r claimin good pple but I tell u,what women can do!even a housewife needs househelp too! Anyay,I don't blame us,it comes too cheap!

There's nothing wrong about hiring a house help or any other domestic staff for that matter. The only issue is with the method many employ to hire these house helps and that's why they get their fingers burnt most times.

Reallion Multiventures is a company I know very well. They provide individual families and corporate clients with trusted and verified domestic helps for very reasonable prices. They also help clients manage these hired helps optimally.

Contact them via:
www.reallionmultiventures.com to get reliable househelps, drivers, cooks, Nannies, Cleaners & more without having to break the bank.