As an African American woman, I can always tell when I am out and about when I encounter an African woman. She either has a cold, stone face, tries to look away and not make eye contact with me. It's really disheartening. Most African American women acknowledge one another out in public with a smile or a simple hello, even if we don't know each other. Over the years, I have had very brief friendships with African born female friends from Cameroon, Nigeria, and Ghana etc. But for some strange reason, they all of a sudden just stopped talking to me. My other African American female friends tell me they experience the same thing. We discuss this issue amongst each other. I once attended a local Nigerian function once and to my surprise, every Nigerian woman at this gathering acted as if I was not welcome. I was very hurt. The person who invited me, who was Nigerian was every embarrassed and offered an apology. When I initiated a conversion, they were very short.
I have lasting relationships with female friends of all races and cultures, but just not African women. Can someone tell me why this is? I just don't get it.

optimistic7250: As an African American woman, I can always tell when I am out and about when I encounter an African woman. She either has a cold, stone face, tries to look away and not make eye contact with me. It's really disheartening. Most African American women acknowledge one another out in public with a smile or a simple hello, even if we don't know each other. Over the years, I have had very brief friendships with African born female friends from Cameroon, Nigeria, and Ghana etc. But for some strange reason, they all of a sudden just stopped talking to me. My other African American female friends tell me they experience the same thing. We discuss this issue amongst each other. I once attended a local Nigerian function once and to my surprise, every Nigerian woman at this gathering acted as if I was not welcome. I was very hurt. The person who invited me, who was Nigerian was every embarrassed and offered an apology. When I initiated a conversion, they were very short.
I have lasting relationships with female friends of all races and cultures, but just not African women. Can someone tell me why this is? I just don't get it.

I didn't know black women had the "sister smile." kinda like the bro nod for black men, lol u learn something every day

Do you have a strong African American accent, or dress or act ghetto?

I'm a professional and have worked for some top companies in the world in management and with a master’s degree. Not sure what you mean by African American accent. But I don't fall into any Black stereotypes. Even if I was "ghetto", it shouldn't matter. Black people really can't afford to be classist when we are the most discriminated group of people on the planet. Sad…

The last time I checked 1 million American dollars is equal to approximately 6000 Nigerian naira's.
The address the writer's other comment. Yes, American sisters show love for one another. When I've been walking with
white colleagues and pass by a sister and we each say hello. My colleague will ask me, "do you know her".
I laugh and say no, and explain that this is something that most sisters will do to acknowledge each other.

Plarp: I didn't know black women had the "sister smile." kinda like the bro nod for black men, lol u learn something every day

Do you have a strong African American accent, or dress or act ghetto?

What kind of retarded azz question is that? Do you have one of those ret.arded sounding African accents, and dress bush? Do you live in a tree and chase lions in loincloths? Do you smell like you've gone weeks without a bath, or as though you've taken a bath in a tub of funky azz musk?

Agreed, that was a very ignorant statement. "Do I have an African American accent and am I ghetto". I am still waiting on someone to give me an answer to my question. Any African women out there who might have treated an African American woman this way, want to explain why? Can you be honest with yourself?

optimistic7250: Agreed, that was a very ignorant statement. "Do I have an African American accent and am I ghetto". I am still waiting on someone to give me an answer to my question. Any African women out there who might have treated an African American woman this way, want to explain why? Can you be honest with yourself?

I think you already know the answer to your question, but I can understand you wanting to hear it strait from the horses mouth. Do a search on this site and you'd find that you are not the first AA sister to brings this very same topic up; I've been on this site for a long time and I can certify that this topic has been brought up at least 5 times by various other AA women in the past. If they don't give you an answer all you have to do is look up those other threads covering this issue; some are full of answers, and most of those answers I can assure you of that you will not like them. For the most part, it stems a major difference in mindset of the relationship between you and them.

To you and many other AA sisters, there's this concept of genuine sisterhood between all black women that floats around in your heads, while with most African women, they think on a more insular level. They are very "tribal" in mindset. They think you've stolen one of their guys; you are perceived as a threat/competition for their guys whom seem to bee flocking to AA women like hotcakes.

Blyss:

What kind of retarded azz question is that? Do you have one of those ret.arded sounding African accents, and dress bush? Do you live in a tree and chase lions in loincloths? Do you smell like you've gone weeks without a bath, or as though you've taken a bath in a tub of funky azz musk?

yes i do! And i think you have demonstrated why Africans don't care much for your dusty AA a$$.

@ topic who cares, you dont like us we dont like you. How bout u stop playing the victim and grow tha fuk up, your ppl are just as much to blame as we are

Blyss: To you and many other AA sisters, there's this concept of genuine sisterhood between all black women that floats around in your heads

I can agree with that Blyss!

@optimistic7250

I think it has to do with who they feel more comfortable around and that might just their own people. Now if they are super americanized, befriending one wouldn't be any different than befriending a white american.

No such experience in London. I have been called "daughter" and embraced by two Nigerian women (strangers) this week alone and my Ghanaian "sister" flies in from Accra tomorrow (finally!) . Many friends from west and south Africa. I feel nothing but the love, and I'm black British/Caribbean .

If ALL the African women the OP has met dislikes her then "something" is definitely wrong with the OP.

I don't know any reason anyone should assume everyone would like and accept them. If they don't want you in their meeting its simply Cos they don't want "outsiders" abi?

There has to be somewhere in the bible that states the black people are cursed. No other race of people bashes their own like black people. I would appreciate if someone can help me find that scripture. One Nigerian man told me that prior to coming to America, his parents explicitly told him, not to marry an African American woman. Funny, that's exactly what he did. I was saddened to hear that parents would advise of such.

I don't agree with the statement, "they feel more comfortable with their own." In America, when Africans come here they make friends with White Americans most of the time. I've even seen some kiss white people in the mouth. There is nothing wrong with that. But it is the antithesis with us.

The one thing I know about men, is that most men are turned off by insecure, desperate women. So, perhaps that is why African men flock to African American women. I would encourage African women when they step onto American soil, is to come with an open mind. To be successful in America, you have to be willing to embrace all kinds of people. America is a country of diverse cultures, religions, ethnicities, etc. That's what makes American unique. President Obama is able to relate to all Americans, and that is why he was elected twice, 93% of African Americans voted for him. We love him! Although his father is Kenyan, he sees himself no different than African Americans. Maybe if more of you came with that mind set, then you would learn that there are not alot of differences between the two.

Ok!

Is there any relationship between this thread and some love puzzle somewhere?is there an African man involved?

Seems the plot is shifted.

Mandigo is an AA that hates Africans, Somalia9 is a confused Somali that dislikes "black Africans" etc, its just a individual thing and no one should be killed Cos of whatever choice they make.

If you think anyone don't like you, ignore and move on.
Sorry, but that's life.

optimistic7250: There has to be somewhere in the bible that states the black people are cursed. No other race of people bashes their own like black people. I would appreciate if someone can help me find that scripture. One Nigerian man told me that prior to coming to America, his parents explicitly told him, not to marry an African American woman. Funny, that's exactly what he did. I was saddened to hear that parents would advise of such.

I don't agree with the statement, "they feel more comfortable with their own." In America, when Africans come here they make friends with White Americans most of the time. I've even seen some kiss white people in the mouth. There is nothing wrong with that. But it is the antithesis with us.

The one thing I know about men, is that most men are turned off by insecure, desperate women. So, perhaps that is why African men flock to African American women. I would encourage African women when they step onto American soil, is to come with an open mind. To be successful in America, you have to be willing to embrace all kinds of people. America is a country of diverse cultures, religions, ethnicities, etc. That's what makes American unique. President Obama is able to relate to all Americans, and that is why he was elected twice, 93% of African Americans voted for him. We love him! Although his father is Kenyan, he sees himself no different than African Americans. Maybe if more of you came with that mind set, then you would learn that there are not alot of differences between the two.

Well how about you just ask one in person instead

Plarp: yes i do! And i think you have demonstrated why Africans don't care much for your dusty AA a$$.

@ topic who cares, you dont like us we dont like you. How bout u stop playing the victim and grow tha fuk up, your ppl are just as much to blame as we are

And you have demonstrated the hypocrisy of many Africans.
let's be fair. You made a sly and slick azz comment about her ethnicity and became defensive when blyss defended his people.

>>> give to earn respect. EOD.

with that being said, op:

people are people. you have open minded folks and ignorant bush coons on both sides.
if you meet anyone regardless of nationality who have a problem with you stay away from them. if contact is necessary (ie: part of your job) then keep it professional only. i don't care who dislikes me..they could be AA, African, Jamo, French, Dutch, MARTIAN ..what ever whoever! My thing is there is too much in this short life to accomplish and explore to be worried about the next man or woman especially if they don't determine how much money will be in my pocket or when i will eat my next meal.

So not a single fck should be given if someone dislikes you madam...especially if its because of your ethnicity.

optimistic7250: There has to be somewhere in the bible that states the black people are cursed. No other race of people bashes their own like black people. I would appreciate if someone can help me find that scripture.

--

lmao @ scripture!

but yeah we are a failed "race" on an MASSIVELY EPIC scale.
I would NEVER want to be part of any other race but black people are
bleh!! Crab like to the core and too tribal/divisive.

I have no hope for us to be honest. None at all.

ifyalways: Ok!

Is there any relationship between this thread and some love puzzle somewhere?is there an African man involved?

Seems the plot is shifted.

Mandigo is an AA that hates Africans, Somalia9 is a confused Somali that dislikes "black Africans" etc, its just a individual thing and no one should be killed Cos of whatever choice they make.

If you think anyone don't like you, ignore and move on.
Sorry, but that's life.

hilarious comparison!

It's human nature to want to be liked or loved by people. Those of you who say you don't care who likes you are lying to yourselves. Let's be honest.

Agreed, there is ignorance on both sides. The one thing this thread has revealed is that we have a long ways to go as a race.

H-Star89:


I can agree with that Blyss!

@optimistic7250

I think it has to do with who they feel more comfortable around and that might just their own people. Now if they are super americanized, befriending one wouldn't be any different than befriending a white american.

...is there a problem with "befriending a white american" ...? Or did I miss something here?

Dear, you missed my earlier comment. I said I embrace all people and there is nothing wrong with Africans or anyone befriending white Americans. The problem I have is that these women want even look at me. Or they try to act like they are not looking so that I won't try to engage in conversation. It's somewhat childlike behavior. And it doesn't matter if they are educated or noneducated African women. They all act the same way.

optimistic7250: There has to be somewhere in the bible that states the black people are cursed. No other race of people bashes their own like black people. I would appreciate if someone can help me find that scripture. One Nigerian man told me that prior to coming to America, his parents explicitly told him, not to marry an African American woman. Funny, that's exactly what he did. I was saddened to hear that parents would advise of such.

I don't agree with the statement, "they feel more comfortable with their own." In America, when Africans come here they make friends with White Americans most of the time. I've even seen some kiss white people in the mouth. There is nothing wrong with that. But it is the antithesis with us.

The one thing I know about men, is that most men are turned off by insecure, desperate women. So, perhaps that is why African men flock to African American women. I would encourage African women when they step onto American soil, is to come with an open mind. To be successful in America, you have to be willing to embrace all kinds of people. America is a country of diverse cultures, religions, ethnicities, etc. That's what makes American unique. President Obama is able to relate to all Americans, and that is why he was elected twice, 93% of African Americans voted for him. We love him! Although his father is Kenyan, he sees himself no different than African Americans. Maybe if more of you came with that mind set, then you would learn that there are not alot of differences between the two.

I am going to be honest, I don't really have african american friends and the few I get a long with are educative and successful. First of all I feel their is a little hype with this divide you are saying because I was born and raised in America from Nigerian parents so I have seen enough to know it is not all that big as you make it seem, but this doesn't downplay what you experienced though but that title you made is to general because many Liberians and South Africans are cool with african americans, However many Africans gravitate in general whether male or female towards people who are their own and to people who are progressive and have similar cultural beliefs as them, and many times africans may see this with non-Africans americans than african americans especially in College and to Africans when it comes to friendship it goes beyond race because of many things. I know many Nigerians that have come from Nigeria where their parents tell them not to marry "Americans" period regardless of race, so it is not just black and white; also I know some Nigerians that it has gone further then that in which Americans they will befriend or not because of negative experiences. When it comes to Obama, well he is culturally african american and white americans, as you said his father is Kenyan but had no connection to his actual black african side culturally which is understandable since he is not fully Kenyan, and he is mixed racially even though he is culturally African american, so to use him as a example is a stretch since he is not culturally African; but as many say if somebody doesn't like you move on who cares.

I must add though when it comes to which group Africans stay away from, it tends to be Hispanics to be honest because many of them are not progressive and don't care for education, so Africans keep their distance from them, which is not as bad as their relationship with Black americans.

Also this thing about african men flocking to African American women or the statement about desperate women(people are going to say you are insulting African women), those issues have nothing to do with your topic, I will advise you to watch out because your thread is straying away from your topic based on your comments, into other topics which will turn this thread into a fiasco since those statements can be interpreted as insults, and will result in people thinking you want to start a african american vs. african thread(which most of the time is started by non-Africans).

optimistic7250: As an African American woman, I can always tell when I am out and about when I encounter an African woman.

I dont know you but maybe you are reading too much into non verbal lingos

As someone has rightly pointed, Africans who settle in the US tend to gravitate to the same cultural and ethnic circles similar to Indians in the 70s, Pakis in the 60s, Jamaicans in the 50s.
True integration you speak of will only come later with perhaps 2nd or 3rd generation Nigerian-Americans (fill in the country)

Remember even Avram told his butler to look for a wife in Ur where they came from for his son isaac
But as time went on, Esau married from the land

I hope you can get what i am saying.

PS As an aside, is there any romantic angle involved?


Otherwise
* subscribes and makes order for popcorn + juice.. theres a storm coming up*

optimistic7250: Dear, you missed my earlier comment. I said I embrace all people and there is nothing wrong with Africans or anyone befriending white Americans. The problem I have is that these women want even look at me. Or they try to act like they are not looking so that I won't try to engage in conversation. It's somewhat childlike behavior. And it doesn't matter if they are educated or noneducated African women. They all act the same way.

That one was intended on H-Star89, not you

And I have seen some of this attitude myself. But I am white, so..women even talk bad about me right in front of me, and my daughter, thinking I don`t understand anything of what they are saying. I have also been accused of "stealing the black men from african women", "only in it for a big d*ck", etc, etc.

Far from all african women act like that, luckily, but yes, I see the way many of them look at me, my child, and my husband. And I hear what they say.

biolabee:
Otherwise
* subscribes and makes order for popcorn + juice.. theres a storm coming up*

African women not looking into your eyes is actually a sign of respect.
Understand your culture is different from Africans even though we are all black. The men are brought up to be adventurous, the women are meant to be 'reserved'.
The things you want African women to do, would not be acceptable in certain circumstances.
When you meet someone for the first time, your only entitlement is to acknowledge the person with greetings. You do not force yourself on strangers.
It's not wrong to start off conversations but you can be deemed as too nosy or intrusive or just a plain ole talkative.
I was actually surprised how Americans could tell you their life history just within 5 minutes of meeting. Should you now dislike them?

JallowBah:
And I have seen some of this attitude myself. But I am white, so..women even talk bad about me right in front of me, and my daughter, thinking I don`t understand anything of what they are saying. I have also been accused of "stealing the black men from african women", "only in it for a big d*ck", etc, etc.

Wow. That's bad, Really bad.

Blyss:

I think you already know the answer to your question, but I can understand you wanting to hear it strait from the horses mouth. Do a search on this site and you'd find that you are not the first AA sister to brings this very same topic up; I've been on this site for a long time and I can certify that this topic has been brought up at least 5 times by various other AA women in the past. If they don't give you an answer all you have to do is look up those other threads covering this issue; some are full of answers, and most of those answers I can assure you of that you will not like them. For the most part, it stems a major difference in mindset of the relationship between you and them.

To you and many other AA sisters, there's this concept of genuine sisterhood between all black women that floats around in your heads, while with most African women, they think on a more insular level. They are very "tribal" in mindset. They think you've stolen one of their guys; you are perceived as a threat/competition for their guys whom seem to bee flocking to AA women like hotcakes.

This is actually a very untrue statement. African women rarely have this attitude since we know the men are polygamous. I actually think it is AA women that pose this attitude of 'our men must date only us'. Sadly, many African women are willing to share a man. A Nigerian woman would be more threatened by a fellow Nigerian than AA.

ifyalways: Ok!

Is there any relationship between this thread and some love puzzle somewhere?is there an African man involved?

Seems the plot is shifted.

Mandigo is an AA that hates Africans, Somalia9 is a confused Somali that dislikes "black Africans" etc, its just a individual thing and no one should be killed Cos of whatever choice they make.

If you think anyone don't like you, ignore and move on.
Sorry, but that's life.

Lol Ify, it always resorts to that! This thread is just a smokescreen.

optimistic7250: There has to be somewhere in the bible that states the black people are cursed. No other race of people bashes their own like black people. I would appreciate if someone can help me find that scripture. One Nigerian man told me that prior to coming to America, his parents explicitly told him, not to marry an African American woman. Funny, that's exactly what he did. I was saddened to hear that parents would advise of such.

I don't agree with the statement, "they feel more comfortable with their own." In America, when Africans come here they make friends with White Americans most of the time. I've even seen some kiss white people in the mouth. There is nothing wrong with that. But it is the antithesis with us.

The one thing I know about men, is that most men are turned off by insecure, desperate women. So, perhaps that is why African men flock to African American women. I would encourage African women when they step onto American soil, is to come with an open mind. To be successful in America, you have to be willing to embrace all kinds of people. America is a country of diverse cultures, religions, ethnicities, etc. That's what makes American unique. President Obama is able to relate to all Americans, and that is why he was elected twice, 93% of African Americans voted for him. We love him! Although his father is Kenyan, he sees himself no different than African Americans. Maybe if more of you came with that mind set, then you would learn that there are not alot of differences between the two.

Lol, Miss, your men bash you and flock to White women and you wanna give African women advice? Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The dislike is mutual, you whiny AA's need to stop pretending its from us. My mom has been in the united states for a little over twenty years and from her experience she has 0 reason to like A.A ppl. Same with my dad, they tried to like you but you guys are so messed up that it was impossible.

I myself shouldnt even like yall, but i love black ppl so i find the 1 in 10 good ones. Stop complaining and fix urselves.

The one thing I know about men, is that most men are turned off by insecure, desperate women. So, perhaps that is why African men flock to African American women.

Last time i check yall lead the world in single motherhood

As I read the thread many people keep saying "your" people. That is part of the problem.

For some reason, black people seem figure out a way to create division amongst their own, whether it be by having different tribes and in the US it's fraternities and sororities, etc. This group thinks they are better and so on. Sad...

I stopped along time ago carrying the burden of this race of people on my shoulders. It was starting to wear my down because my vision was not shared. So, to some degree I guess I have given up hope similar to the person who made those comments earlier.

As long as we keep saying "your" people, we will never move forward. I want to move forward. I am trying to get more peeople on board. I have an open mind and my African American girlfriends all do. My group of friends would never treat an African woman the way we get treated. We've been exposed and think globally. I give everyone a fair chance when I meet them until they prove me wrong. If I hear a negative comment made about a certain group of Africans. The next time I meet someone from that group, I don't automatically think negatively of them, like some of you.

I am sure you can find negative things to say about blacks in America, Africa, the Caribbean, Europe, etc. But the way I look at it is that there are way more positive things you can say than negative.

To address someone's comments.
I have dated black men(African American, African, Caribbean) primarily and a few white, and spanish. So, it doesn't bother me if "our" men date white women. To me, there is no other man like a black man.

JallowBah: ...is there a problem with "befriending a white american" ...? Or did I miss something here?

Nope