Ok, I maybe wrong or a little bit old school here but I was a little taken aback when I saw my neighbour's daughter yesterday all dressed up and looking pretty in white and red outfit. My first question to her was why she wasn't going to school and she said she was. I then asked if it is her birthday and she said that they were asked to dress up in red and white for valentine day. I began to think as to the reasonableness of such instructions. Firstly, there are so many celebrations wherein kids could dress up in different attires eg, Christmas, Easter, Independence etc without making kids overly into the valentine frenzy at such an early age. I mentioned it to my friend and she said that her niece of five even summoned up the courage to ask her mum to give her gift for her boyfriend in class and of course for "auntie" as they were asked to get gifts for their friends and teachers.

I remember while growing up that even up to secondary school level, my school used to do everything possible to discourage and kill the val spirit. This they do by coming up with ridiculous seminars on pregnancy, hiv et al including all manner of activites to frustrate any kind of val thingy. People used to hide after night prep to send and receive gifts in school bags through junior students and if you are then caught eh .

so why formally indoctrinate little kids into celebrating val or what reasonable explanation would you give a child as to the brain behind valentine. Of course some would say valentine is a day to show love to everyone and would go on and about how St valentine did this or that. However, lets face facts, all that story of st valentine blabla is long forgotten and dead and has been replaced with a day of celebrating lovers in every kind of relationship imaginable. My question is this "Do we after encouraging kids to celebrate val and making them conscious of it then turn around when they are mature and become adolescents and then begin to preach all the ills of vals day and for them to wait till they are mature....".

This is the same argument I have against mothers who dress their little girls in really short skirts and gowns all in the name that she is only but a child and later begin to scold them when they mature as to their choice of clothing. For crying out loud, a girl of 8 who is used to dressing that way wont suddenly at 13 grow a flair for maxi gowns and below the knee skirts.

Anyway, this is just my take.

Times have changed from your own school days.
We ( my whole family) ALL wore red outfits to work & schools yesterday , kids packed cards & treats individually for their friends, we spend over 2hrs reading cards and sniffing roses that was given to us from friends too. call it funky as I don't really care.

Everything Nigerians don't recon with is a taboo/ bad parenting . Let anybody do whatever with their kids , if I like I dress them in mini skirts and mini mouse jumpers, MY kids , MY call ! if you can't deal face front.

OP I'm not sorry but just had to vent a little . Thank you.

@ OP: Kids will believe anything you tell them at that (little) age, the question is what is being imparted on them? Teach your kids the right way and when they grow up. . .

Its just like saying sex education is bad for a child, go all out to prevent such child from developing and mixing with opposite sex in the name of protection and later rebuke the child for being socially inept/sexually ignorant when he/she grows up. Even if all the moral in the world be imparted on a child, a wayward inclined child will end up being wayward, is this applicable to all children?

all-out:
@ OP: Kids will believe anything you tell them at that (little) age, the question is what is being imparted on them? Teach your kids the right way and when they grow up. . .

Its just like saying sex education is bad for a child, go all out to prevent such child from developing and mixing with opposite sex in the name of protection and later rebuke the child for being socially inept/sexually ignorant when he/she grows up. Even if all the moral in the world be imparted on a child, a wayward inclined child will end up being wayward, is this applicable to all children?

Bros if the whole world its easy for them to slide into it

i dont agree with the concept but as jidegirl has pointed out she is ok with it
Some parents are , its their choicd

This thing may blow out soon when some parents will boycott certain schools for this but hey.. who knows?

Modernization is taking it's toll in our society. A society where decency is thrown to the wind and immorality is celebrated.

Welcome to the 'modern world'!

biolabee:

This thing may blow out soon when some parents will boycott certain schools for this but hey.. who knows?

It bohooves any well meaning parent to look out for their kids/wards! Which brings me to my initial question.

all-out:
@ OP: Kids will believe anything you tell them at that (little) age, the question is what is being imparted on them? Teach your kids the right way and when they grow up. . .

Parent should be able to discern if a particular practice is healthy or not for the kids. There're are options, not all school engage in that practice (I'm yet to be convinced the practice is wrong though, moreso when it doesn't conflict with what ought to be taught to kids at that age/level).

But u know at that age there is no concept of right or wrong
If the school/media/environment take over with ideas like this (gayness, val etc) nothing u can do as a parent may be enough to stem the tide as the evil seed has been sown

If you think its not an issue, ur call

What is evil about valentine's day and being gay ? ( or don't you think that's quite degrading to kids from that union? cos they attend schools too)

Another one; Xmas concerts/carols are now banned in public schools now. No more 'merry Xmas' , just 'happy holidays' and why? cause of Atheists, Moslems and Jehovah witness feel left out and find it offensive Mind you in as much as there're majority Christians compared to other believes in public schools, it ( Rule) was accepted and no problem rose , I bet it'll be war in a Nigerian society.

All I'm saying is let everybody respect everybody's way of life & personal space and keep their body parts to themselves.

@Jidegirl12, I guess you didn't see anywhere where i mentioned bad parenting here. All I'm saying is that you should not expect kids to change in adolescence from what they have been taught to do at a tender age. For example, if a mother is cool with her child dressing in skimpy outfits as a teen then that is fine. All I'm against is when mothers begin to complain later in life about what they encouraged early. Yeah, I used to work with teens in church before and I have heard of parents complaining about stuffs like this but after questioning, you discover the root cause is in the early formative years of a child. So if you are cool with your son or daughter at 14 going on val dates and bringing home gifts then fine!

biolabee: But u know at that age there is no concept of right or wrong
If the school/media/environment take over with ideas like this (gayness, val etc) nothing u can do as a parent may be enough to stem the tide as the evil seed has been sown

If you think its not an issue, ur call

I think I mentioned in my second post, not all schools are doing that! Why do we have choices if we can't utilize them? You're right, its my call and when the time comes, my kids won't lack proper morals growing up!

Edit: I think one of the problem is that kids are left entirely in the charge of schools while parents seek the golden fleece just about anywhere and anytime. . .this one na topic for another day sha!

OP I'm just discussing in general, valentines day is the least of all worry when it comes to adolescent problems, and I agree it's what you teach kids they grow up with but mind you there're other factors like peer pressures and self esteem issues , these ekes out the worst attitude in teenagers and makes people question where a parent has gone wrong.

@ op where are you located? I grew up dressing up for valenitines day and giving out cards to my class and teacher, also dressed up for st. patricks day, did easter egg hunts etc. So too me its normal.

Ujujoan: Modernization is taking it's toll in our society. A society where decency is thrown to the wind and immorality is celebrated.

Welcome to the 'modern world'!

Uju, when was the last time I agreed with you on anything? OP, you are on point, let me add that there is an economic twist to it. Most mushroom schools and teachers will jump at any 'celebration' as a means to get money and gifts from parents.

They should just change the name and call February 14, World Promiscuity Day (WPD).

The problem is you people think Valentine's is about sexx and romance as against just showing love to your neighbour. Some, yesterday, went to orphanages and other such places to express some love. I think that's the essence of the day, not chocolates, roses and romantic dinners.

fresh_dude: The problem is you people think Valentine's is about sexx and romance as against just showing love to your neighbour. Some, yesterday, went to orphanages and other such places to express some love. I think that's the essence of the day, not chocolates, roses and romantic dinners.

*Yawns*

fresh_dude: The problem is you people think Valentine's is about sexx and romance as against just showing love to your neighbour. Some, yesterday, went to orphanages and other such places to express some love. I think that's the essence of the day, not chocolates, roses and romantic dinners.

+1. I agree. While it is different than we are used to as Nigerians you also need to remember it is not being presented as a romantic thing to these young children. It's just about sharing with your friends. They start exchanging candy on valentines even in the toddler rooms in daycares. I don't see a reason why they should dress special for valentines day, the passing out candy is enough (I find it annoying because I don't like giving kids candy) but I don't think it's teaching kids to be promiscuous. These people just like finding any reason to amuse themselves. My kids school did not dress special. They did not even have the candy exchange. Woohoo!!

OP I support you 100%. I have also wondered at the necessity of having kids dress up for the day. Like what exactly is the point? I think some schools just have no idea what they are doing. Why celebrate valentine day and make growing kids make out cards to their classmates and get them gifts? So you have 6 -11 year olds and above doing this encouraged by their schools and someone says they're not being encouraged to be promiscous? So what then are they being encouraged to do? When a primary 4 year girl gets a card designed in class saying I love you by a classmate who happens to be a boy, pray tell what exactly are we encouraging? Society is gone whack.

blueandred: So you have 6 -11 year olds and above doing this encouraged by their schools and someone says they're not being encouraged to be promiscous? So what then are they being encouraged to do? When a primary 4 year girl gets a card designed in class saying I love you by a classmate who happens to be a boy, pray tell what exactly are we encouraging? Society is gone whack.

So do you really believe that boy wouldn't have given the girl the exact same card if the school didn't have a valentine dress up day? You believe it's the school that caused the boy write an I love you card to a girl? So romance is now in the curriculum in schools now? O.kay.

Its not what I believe, its what happened. The kids at school made cards for partners they were asked to choose in addition to 'bringing' them gifts. Would the kid have given the other such a card some other time or way? Possibly. But when the school obviously sanctions it, then by logic, it must be ok and acceptable then? Or wouldn't a kid think so? The teacher is usually always right.

The point here to me is what is taught about valentine day and how it is viewed by parents/teachers and then our kids. In my kid's school, they went off to an orphanage to give gifts after being instructed by their teacher on what true love is(in their opinion, true love is God's love to mankind reflected by the death of Christ for man) My daughter's teacher actually went on to instruct them on what valentine is NOT(PROMISCUITY) I personally baked a special cake for my heart throb to show my continued love him.

I do agree with you OP on why kids cannot be expected to change from what they have been taught especially in their manner and approach to really important issues of values and morality. If your 6 year old is already thinking of and receiving encouragement on cultivating romance, then it is certain that she will soon bear the fruits for all eyes to see. Everyone to his own.

jidegirl12: What is evil about valentine's day and being gay ? ( or don't you think that's quite degrading to kids from that union? cos they attend schools too)

Another one; Xmas concerts/carols are now banned in public schools now. No more 'merry Xmas' , just 'happy holidays' and why? cause of Atheists, Moslems and Jehovah witness feel left out and find it offensive Mind you in as much as there're majority Christians compared to other believes in public schools, it ( Rule) was accepted and no problem rose , I bet it'll be war in a Nigerian society.

All I'm saying is let everybody respect everybody's way of life & personal space and keep their body parts to themselves.

i dont think val shd be celebrated by kids... that is my choice if u think its cool, it is your choice
everymans s.exual orientation is their choice but they shoould not persecute me for loving the warm luscious daughters of Eve

well at least we agree on sth.. do wat works for u

smartmon i love ur post


To each his or her own

fresh_dude: The problem is you people think Valentine's is about sexx and romance as against just showing love to your neighbour. Some, yesterday, went to orphanages and other such places to express some love. I think that's the essence of the day, not chocolates, roses and romantic dinners.

. Nigerians self! @fresh dude: u are so on point. One thing is sure;the coming generation of Nigerian youths will celebrate val's day correctly. This is because from a young age, they have groomed to correctly view val as a day to show love to friends and neighbours not the sexual undertones it carries in our society.

blueandred: Its not what I believe, its what happened. The kids at school made cards for partners they were asked to choose in addition to 'bringing' them gifts. Would the kid have given the other such a card some other time or way? Possibly. But when the school obviously sanctions it, then by logic, it must be ok and acceptable then? Or wouldn't a kid think so? The teacher is usually always right.

Well I don't agree with the teachers making them to choose one partner and I sure hope the teacher did not ask them to write romantic messages to the partners. And the teacher should really have monitored or set limits to what can be written in the cards. However I dare to say that child's romantic inclinations was not nurtured in the school.

The first Valentine's card I ever got was at age 10 and it was from my Dad. All these years later, my husband and I celebrate with our kids even though between the two of us, it's just a card and maybe small gift going one my way.

It will be what you make it for your kids. The bible says to the pure, all things are pure. You have the opportunity and responsibility to ensure your kids do not see it as a sexxxx day, it's just another celebration in red. If they are not old enough to date, then the day should have no connection to sexxxx, for them.

smartmom: The point here to me is what is taught about valentine day and how it is viewed by parents/teachers and then our kids. In my kid's school, they went off to an orphanage to give gifts after being instructed by their teacher on what true love is(in their opinion, true love is God's love to mankind reflected by the death of Christ for man) My daughter's teacher actually went on to instruct them on what valentine is NOT(PROMISCUITY) I personally baked a special cake for my heart throb to show my continued love him.

I do agree with you OP on why kids cannot be expected to change from what they have been taught especially in their manner and approach to really important issues of values and morality. If your 6 year old is already thinking of and receiving encouragement on cultivating romance, then it is certain that she will soon bear the fruits for all eyes to see. Everyone to his own.

So much word to this post. Very nice!

MMotimo:

It will be what you make it for your kids. The bible says to the pure, all things are pure. You have the opportunity and responsibility to ensure your kids do not see it as a sexxxx day, it's just another celebration in red. If they are not old enough to date, then the day should have no connection to sexxxx, for them.

This is an excellent point. As long as the schools are not presenting it in a romantic se.xual way which I highly doubt most are, the parent ultimately has the most power in how this is perceived and manifested by the child.

Of course it is certain that these schools don't actually teach them that val is about romance. However, the truth is that whatever mummy teaches them or Auntie in school talks about how val is meant to be which is a day to show love to everyone, cannot really hold water as these kids observe a lot no thanks to the media age we live in.

No matter what the parents say, these kids already have an idea of what val is all about. So the school endorsing the celeb with all kind of "good intentions" only adds credence to what the child knows and understands val to be.

Some schools actually teach romance! I passed by a school yesterday and saw the kids all dressed in red/white. They sat on the floor of the school compound in pairs, a boy and a girl. Some held flowers, some were kind of playing with sand (I'm not sure) and some were just talking and playing.

Why pair them up as such? What lesson exactly is that school teaching the kids? That val's day is a day to show love to the opposite sex?

Towards evening, I saw a parent of a child attending the school and told her what I saw earlier. She went on to tell me that her daughter was even told to bring a card and gift for the boy chosen for her as her val.

Do we have to go to this extent?

For those claiming it is to teach kids love, do we have to wait till val's day before teaching them love? Is wearing red and white and exchanging gift with the opposite sex the way to teach it? Let's not deceive ourselves.

I SMH for the next generation.

zayhal: Some schools actually teach romance! I passed by a school yesterday and saw the kids all dressed in red/white. They sat on the floor of the school compound in pairs, a boy and a girl. Some held flowers, some were kind of playing with sand (I'm not sure) and some were just talking and playing.

Why pair them up as such? What lesson exactly is that school teaching the kids? That val's day is a day to show love to the opposite sex?

Towards evening, I saw a parent of a child attending the school and told her what I saw earlier. She went on to tell me that her daughter was even told to bring a card and gift for the boy chosen for her as her val.

Do we have to go to this extent?

For those claiming it is to teach kids love, do we have to wait till val's day before teaching them love? Is wearing red and white and exchanging gift with the opposite sex the way to teach it? Let's not deceive ourselves.

I SMH for the next generation.

For many people here, agreeing with your post would mean accepting they have been doing something wrong when it comes to their kids. Good luck with that.

**Yawns** don't have time for lectures. Singing Teacher don't teach me nonsense by Fela

jidegirl12: **Yawns**

Very infectious... try to be original in future. How are you madam and how is business?

zayhal: Some schools actually teach romance! I passed by a school yesterday and saw the kids all dressed in red/white. They sat on the floor of the school compound in pairs, a boy and a girl. Some held flowers, some were kind of playing with sand (I'm not sure) and some were just talking and playing.

Why pair them up as such? What lesson exactly is that school teaching the kids? That val's day is a day to show love to the opposite sex?

Towards evening, I saw a parent of a child attending the school and told her what I saw earlier. She went on to tell me that her daughter was even told to bring a card and gift for the boy chosen for her as her val.

Do we have to go to this extent?

For those claiming it is to teach kids love, do we have to wait till val's day before teaching them love? Is wearing red and white and exchanging gift with the opposite sex the way to teach it? Let's not deceive ourselves.

I SMH for the next generation.

Please tell me you are kidding or just exaggerating. . . . In fact, I will ask that you name the school. I doubt ANY school would support romance between students for Val's day and from your description, these are very young kids too.
Madam, is it possible that what you saw was just coincidence - kids playing like they do everyday, male and female, nothing to do with pairing. Let us be mindful of sexualizing innocent child settings.

At that age, our own kids would play with the opposite sex, not a matter of pairing

maclatunji:

Very infectious... try to be original in future. How are you madam and how is business?

Very! this is the future, you only live once ... business dey kampè...

How body and life in general?